(Un)arranged Marriage

by Bali Rai

MANNY WANTS TO BE A FOOTBALLER. OR A POP STAR. OR WRITE A BESTSELLER. HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED...'Harry and Ranjit were waiting for me - waiting to take me to Derby, to a wedding. My wedding. A wedding that I hadn't asked for, that I didn't want. To a girl who I didn't know... If they had bothered to open their eyes, they would have seen seventeen, angry, upset but determined - determined to do my own thing, to choose my own path in life...'Set partly in the UK and partly in the Punjab region of India, this is a fresh, bitingly perceptive and totally up-to-the-minute look at one young man's fight to free himself from family expectations and to be himself, free to dance to his own tune.

Genres: Young Adult, India, Fiction, Contemporary, School, Coming Of Age, Family

305 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 3, 2001

About the author

Bali Rai was born in 1971 and grew up in Leicester. As a child, Bali wanted to be a footballer or to write stories. Always an avid reader, he hails Sue Townsend, Douglas Adams and Robert Swindells as his writing heroes. Bali grew up reading Dr Seuss and Meg and Mog and his first book purchase was The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. He realised he wasn't good enough to play for Liverpool F.C. and after gaining a politics degree in London he returned to his home city and combined a variety of jobs in pubs and clubs with completing his first novel. Bali set about writing a story he had been thinking about for many years. He wanted to write accessible material for children of all ages and backgrounds and realising there were no British Asian authors writing for children, he saw a gap. Bali hopes his novels capture the unique ethnic mix of the UK, of which he is proud to be a part.

Bali writes stories inspired by his working class Punjabi/Sikh background, but his aim was always that his writing should be enjoyed by readers everywhere, irrespective of class or culture. His has the ability to tackle the harsh realities of growing up in the UK and blend this with humour and often a overriding optimism. Bali visits schools and libraries in every major UK city, averaging 70 school and library events a year.

His first book, (un)arranged marriage, created a huge amount of interest and won many awards, including the Angus Book Award and the Leicester Book of the Year. It was also shortlisted for the prestigious Branford Boase first novel award. Rani and Sukh and The Whisper were both shortlisted for the Booktrust Teenage Prize.

All of Bali’s teen titles have been short-listed for awards across the UK, including twice making the Booktrust Teenage Prize shortlist. His third novel Rani and Sukh has represented the UK at the International IBBY awards and this title has its own Facebook tribute group set up by fans. Bali’s first three novels appear in The Ultimate Teenage Book Guide. Bali also writes shorter novels for Barrington Stoke, his first book, Dream On, was selected for the Booktrust’s inaugural Booked Up list. He also writes the hugely popular Soccer Squad series for younger readers.

Reviews

[Kirsty Grant · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first book I've read for pleasure since I completed my 3rd year at university. This is the type of book I enjoy and I wasn't disappointed.
The story is written in first person from the point of view of a young English Indian boy. It begins on his wedding day and his nervousness and anger at being forced into an arranged marriage. The author then writes the book in retrospect, and takes the reader back three years. The story explores the difficulty of the protagonist who struggles to adhere to his family's traditional views and religion. He endures years of beatings from his alcoholic father and emotional blackmail from his mother. He is beaten and ridiculed by his older brothers and his intimate narration allows the reader to discover his feelings of 'otherness'amongst his family whilst he attempts to live a normal life as an ordinary English boy. The author explores racism, poverty, domestic violence, neglect and love through the use of bildungsroman which concludes with the protagonist choosing his own path in life. It is by no means a happy ending, but it demonstrates determination and an understanding of a culture that the character is unable to comprehend.
Interesting and easy novel to read.

[Eloise Bance · Rating 2 out of 5]

The storyline was decent and some interesting themes explored but the writing felt very amateur and cringe

[Ari · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok. I feel that Manny believed himself to cool for like anyone. His "cheat" was very, very cruel. I understand that he was in a really bad place, and had no care to be involved in an arranged marriage, but in the process he really hurt his family. And in the long run himself. Sometimes, our families traditions will be things we do not agree on, but we should come to terms with that. They raised him for seventeen years. Though, I don't agree with his fathers drunkenness and his mom's blackmailing like talk, he still could have gotten his way differently. He does in the end though say that doing it on the actual wedding day was a bit wrong, but even so I don't feel he should have done his "cheat." He should have spoken up to his family about his thoughts and then told them that he didn't want to be apart of a lifestyle like that. Even if they wouldn't agree at least he would have tried to reason. And then he could go on with his own life. My other issue was the ending. How more ridiculous can you get than him moving in with his ex-'s family(staying in his ex-'s room!) while going on with his own life and even dating someone else. (I understand Lisa is off abroad or something, but still.) Please buy your own home, is that necessary even if they are so welcoming? Talk about creepy. Otherwise, it was an ok read. I don't think I'd read it again if I realized more of what it was like...(Read for school over a few weeks.)

[Nicole Rask · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relatively simple language and not much is left to be analysed by the reader which I found quite nice. However, several interesting themes are explored such as religion, culture, love, humor and racism. I would recommend it to someone looking for something easy and at the same time thought-provoking to read!

[Esta · Rating 4 out of 5]

not another one!! yes another one! this was a good one too. set partly in leicester and partly in Punjab it explores the perils of having a traditional family and what comes along with it! lots of these things feel true to me, the bits about all the racism coming from within Manny's own family are defo accurate. defo a good introduction to what sometimes happens inside different communities!!

[Rain · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ich gebe es auf. Ein einziges Mal mache ich es wie der Großteil meiner Mitschüler und lese mir nur Zusammenfassungen im Internet durch.

[Alva · Rating 1 out of 5]

Was forced to read this for school. It sucked ass. My 7 year old sister could write a better book. It was so boring and angered me to no return

[Jacob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple language and plot, very easy to read. A flawed and very human protagonist and a story that feels very real. Stole this from school in year 10 🫡

[Fra Me · Rating 3 out of 5]

They tried to rule his life, but he had the courage to fight for his own good, will and dreams. Manny, a young boy with punjabi roots, is supposed to follow the family traditions and duties and get married, arranged by his family, as soon as he turns into 17. So he's trying to find a way to escape and to live the life he wants.
Difficult to read due to the language, but feels very authentic to me. No high class writing, but I liked it. 3.5*

[Renita D'Silva · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lovely coming of age story

[Filip Rosengren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bra bok! Om kulturkrock och att växa upp i en konservativ familj där man har lite frihet. Jag hade gärna sett en punkt där huvudpersonen kommer att uppskatta sin egen kultur och får en mer nyanserad bild av sin kulturella bakgrund istället för att bara kritisera. Det kommer lite av det på slutet men det sjunker inte riktigt in då. Fortfarande bra! Hoppas mina 9:or tycker likadant.

[Roshio · Rating 2 out of 5]

I valued the insight into a culture I have little knowledge about. Bit of a simple read but he does encapsulate the difficulties particularly as a second gen immigrant of fighting out your identify

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for my bookclub. It was an easy quick read and initially I thought I wasn't going to like it because it was written from in first person point of view of an adolescent boy and I felt there was no depth or other point of view being represented. However as the book progressed I realised that this was actually its strength, that Manjit (call me Manny I hate my name) was the point of the story and it was his voice that we needed to hear. It is far more normal to read about girls forced into arranged marriage but this was written from a boys point of view and the family pressure on boys to marry not long after they finish school seems as extreme as what the girls can go through. The Jat culture of the Punjab was explained albeit it only from Manjit's point of view but viewpoint was important as it was his voice, unheard by his family, culture and this repression drove him to unarrange his own arranged marriage.

[anjali · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had fun reading this -- super quick read, yet I found it really interesting how racism is addressed in this book, which is written in 2001, in comparision to how it is now. Personally wasn't a fan of the entire storyline, and while its understandable to explain the trauma he undergoes, the storyline felt untrue and rather extreme (his family leave him in India and then he escapes?!!?!) as I said I had fun reading it cos i flip thr page and he's like 'TODAY IS THE DAY OF MY WEDDING'

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book I found it quite an unusual twist on the general picture we have in the west of girls being forced into an arranged marriage. This book was about a young man Manjit who is told that on his 17th birthday he will follow the example of his elder brothers and have an arranged marriage. Manjit has no intention of getting married until he is ready, and to a girl of his choice but he is being badly bullied by his brothers and his father, his mother is an expert in the art of emotional blackmail, he seems to have no one, or where to turn to and the thought of getting married weights heavy on his mind, he stops concentrating at school and starts to get into bad ways, which obviously then gives his family more ammunition to get him married off. He starts to see an English girl, Lisa in secret and she tries to support him to stand up against his family. He thinks he is getting somewhere when the whole family go on holiday to their family village in the Punjab and assure him that there is no trickery or ulterior motive, he starts to relax and enjoy a holiday meeting different relatives, but is this really just a holiday? You really feel for the character of Manjit and sympathise with his predicament and at the end of the book you are really rooting for him. This book shows how difficult it is for some young people who are caught in the crossfire between tradition and culture according to their families and the tradition and culture of the country in which they have grown up and spent all their lives.

[Rabia · Rating 3 out of 5]

تبصرہ
نسبتاً سادہ زبان اور پڑھنے والے کے تجزیہ کرنے کے لیے بہت کچھ نہیں ہے جو مجھے کافی اچھا لگا۔ تاہم، مذہب، ثقافت، محبت، مزاح اور نسل پرستی جیسے کئی دلچسپ موضوعات کی بات کی گئی ہے۔ میں اس کو ریکمنڈ ان کو کروں گی جو کچھ آسان تلاش کر رہے ہوں اور ساتھ ہی ساتھ پڑھنے کے لیے سوچنے والے بھی ہوں!

[Cim · Rating 2 out of 5]

(Un)arranged marriage by Bali Rai was not a book I enjoyed reading.
While it has a good story -one about a boy wanting to go his own way and defy his family and their intentions of marrying him with a girl he doesn’t know- it is poorly executed.
The lack of descriptions (both environmental but also when it comes to the characters) is what this book falters in.
I had a hard time connecting to the characters and they didn’t really come alive before me which is crucial to me, because if the characters doesn’t feel real and human, you simply can’t connect to them or the story they are telling.

Otherwise, like I said, it had a good story and some good themes like love, the importance of free will (which I connected with quite well), and standing up for yourself and so on.
I got quite irritated with the language in the book because even though I know he used slang as a way for the reader to connect with youths he went over the top with it at some points.

But it is a very good book for students to analyze and discuss because it’s easy to read and understand for most people and it’s not a very long novel, the storyline also jumps in time so that something is always happening which makes it easier to read.

[Meyganphanngam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the book was really good. Because the book its funny but also serious. Bali is taking the book to a new level. He's taking up the Punjabi culture and how it's to be a Punjabi man and a different kind of view about unarranged or arranged married when you are a boy. Because when you think about someone that is force to get married you often think about a girl. But Bali decide to write about a boy and I think that was really clever thing to do. As i said the book is also serious because Bali takes up a serious subject about marrige in young age. I also like this book because is was modern, fresh and so easy to read if you're not good at reading, especially if you don't like to read in english. I like how the time in the book were built and how Bali brought it togheter at the end. I don't like the ending so much but that is up to you how you wanted to end.
I wanted more action in the end but i do understand why it dosen't happend.
But the book is really worth reading and it will give you thoughts about marriage and culture that you never had before!

[Ilonita50 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super good book. It has new modern English slang and Punjabi Indian strict old fashioned family. To a young teenage boy Munny, who has born in England and so far is totally different from the rest of his family who prefers Punjab culture most, not like Munny - modern England's culture. He prefers to hang out with his best mate who is denied by the rest of Munny's family-cos they dislike anyone whos white, brown and no Punjubi. The story is about inner fight and struggling within your own family and when the boy think he is stuck with family rules, blacmailing and theres no way out-not to be unwillingly married by arranged marriage to grl who he has never ever met..the story says-theres always a way out, maybe not the easiest one, but you have to follow your dreams, and your plans, not the ones set by others for you.

[David Owen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a well-written book, with its heart in the right place, and some genuine attempts at offering insight into a world very alien to a lot of people.

The problem is that Manny's family all read like caricatures who are made so unpleasant as to be completely unbelievable. Similarly, his friends, particularly girlfriend Lisa, are only really there for Manny to re-iterate his dilemmas to, and aren't characters in their own right.

There's also a terrible case of an adult author trying to be down with the kids by using slang and pop culture references. It's a little cringe-worthy at times.

Still, there is good writing here, particular the passages set in India. The characters here feel a little more 'real,' and the author does a good job of bringing the Punjab region to life.

Overall, a mixed bag.

[Baljit · Rating 3 out of 5]

i found this book interesting as it is probably a personal experience about a teenager going thru an arranged marriage.
this topic of is a big issue amonsgt the Sikh communities of Uk as i discovered when i was a student there. The writer is trapped in a very orthodox traditional family which is totally at odds with the anglo cultural influence on the younger generation.
however the writer seemed to write this book in a very angry tone, as if to vent personal feelings. sadly, the sikh community's focus on tradition and rejection of assimilation with the wider community has created bigger problems for the youth. perhaps focusiing on spiritual values and character building would be more beneficial than being rigid. but i'm expressing this purely as a sikh from a progressive community.

[Deacon Doran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliantly written in the perspective of a teenager and I can really relate to his way of thinking which helped me to then further understand the political, social and religious problems presented throughout the whole book.

While not accepting Mannys’ father’s actions, Bali Rai does a great job at including hints and notes in the book that show he also went and goes through the pressure Manny feels and shows the problem of arranged marriages in Punjabi culture isn’t just a family or person, it’s more deep-rooted.

[Alicia · Rating 1 out of 5]

this is honestly one of the worst books i've ever read. the main character is supposed to be open minded and intelligent but is in reality really dumb and selfish. the end was also more than a disappointment. i'll be so happy to talk about this book more in my english class in the future...not.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book can't stop reading!

[Carol Leach · Rating 3 out of 5]

Made me re think about the whole culture from a different angle. We all assume that it's only girls that get forced into marriage.

[Ru · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author of this book, Bali Rai, visited my school many, many years ago (I feel so old). He gave a presentation about the book and honestly I don't remember much other than the fact I was fairly engaged- enough that I went and bought the book from him afterwards complete with a personalised signature and message.

I don't remember much about my early readings of this book but I kept hold of it, mainly because it was signed but also because the premise IS admittedly very intriguing. I wondered if going back to it as an adult would be a more enlightening experience.

Eh, not really.
Whilst the idea of the book is fantastic- arranged marriage through the eyes of a teenager (a boy nonetheless, a far more unique perspective than the female led one we often see or hear of) who is more at home with British Western values than with the Punjabi culture of his family- the execution fell short.

The writing was very juvenile and the character's maturity was absolutely all over the place. I suppose that could be danced around, after all Manny is just a teenager, but the issue wasn't that he was immature, it's that it was inconsistent. It felt like his age would fluctuate and he never really developed at all from the beginning to the end of the book.
The finale, the wedding, was extremely anti-climactic and the "cheat" almost felt a bit... pointless. The entire plot in India had way more development, better themes, better everything, and yet the wedding was just so... bleh.

I also find it extremely hard to believe that Lisa's (Manny's ex girlfriend) parents would just let him live in her room and see other girls while she's away after the wedding escape. I felt that the random end of Lisa and Manny's relationship didn't make much sense, why not just have them stay together?

Although to say Manny loved her so much he certainly didn't make much of an effort to go and see her when he returned from India, despite hanging around with Ady and smoking weed or whatever. They got back together after this though, the break up occurred AFTER the wedding. Super weird. A lot of things in the book just felt incredibly unnatural and awkward.

As I mentioned, I love the unique perspective and themes of this book- especially around culture and family and seeing through the eyes of the male party instead of the more popular female one. I think I would recommend it to a younger reader but it's not quite as engaging for adults.

[Kayla P · Rating 3 out of 5]

🚨 CONTAINS SPOILERS 🚨

This was an OK read. The author, Bali Rai himself came into my school a couple of weeks ago. I had never heard of his work before, so I thought I would try off with his original, ‘easy read’ - the book is a very interesting story about how Manny - whose real name is Manjit, tries to settle into a Punjab household, eventually is sent to India before his arranged marriage and runs away on his wedding day. I found this an upsetting book with rather a boring twist, if you are reading this please do NOT criticise me as I have an equal opinion as everyone else. Back to what I said before, I found it quite boring at times and by the first page, the author has already mentioned word which require maturity. I am not really sure whether this is meant to be for adults or teens? I recommended it to a couple of my friends as it was an eye opener to race diversity and how racist people can be - and this is just in a book! Overall, a really fascinating introduction to real world situations that still happen nowadays such as arranged marriages however, I would have appreciated a better plot twist rather than running away in the last chapter, eg building up the tension and adding ‘clues’ as such. Thank you for reading!!

[Sebastian · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little simple, predictable and slightly repetitive, but still quite a good and easy read. The writing style feels a bit forced, the dialogues not always relatable and too aggressive for me. The interactions with Ady and all their stealing and smoking felt too obvious and annoying.
Good insights in the mind of a second-generation teenager in difficult circumstances. In a way the writing style reflects his own point of view and character. Some parts felt immature and are not explained well, for example the relationship situation at the end. For a boy who processes so much, he should have put more heart and thought in what happened girlfriend-wise. In contrast, the India part was interesting at first, but dragged out too long so I only skimmed some pages.
Still an enjoyable read, so 3 stars.

[Robin Seeker · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story is about the collision of two cultures in the life of the teenage protagonist. Manny is an Indian teenager living in England and struggling with the two very different cultural norms under which he lives. Manny longs for his freedom and independence from his family and his family culture which includes abusive relationships and alcoholism as well as the traditional Indian expectations that he will enter into an arranged marriage as a teenager and continue to reside in the family home. However, it soon becomes clear that the cost is high to gain Manny’s freedom and independence….or is it truly a high price when your family situation isn’t ideal?!? This book tackles some very
Important topics including biculturalism, cultural differences and norms, and the typical teenage angst and anguish involved in becoming an independent thinker and a stand-alone individual.

[Tania · Rating 5 out of 5]

Esta obra conta as vivencias dun neno nacido en Reino Unido e de orixe hindú que crece entre dous mundos. Por un lado, o rapáz está completamente inmerso na cultura anglosaxona, pero, en cambio, na súa casa promóvense as costumes propias dunha familia tradicional punxabi. Durante anos Manny vese obligado a levar unha doble vida pero todo comeza a desmoronarse cando os seus pais oblígano a formar parte dun casamento amañado con só dezasete anos.

Pódese atopar un gran enfoque ideolóxico entre as páxinas desta obra. A través da hisotira de Manny o autor fainos reflexionar de forma indirecta sobre temas como a discriminación e/ou integración racial, a alienación relixiosa ou as contradicións sufridas polas segundas xeracións de inmigrantes que creceron entre dúas comunidades culturais distintas.