Strange Bodies: A Story of Loss and Desire

by Tom de Freston

"a book full of love that makes you see what really matters, both in art and life. Clever, tender, completely compelling" - Ella RisbridgerIn 2020, artist Tom de Freston and his novelist wife Kiran Millwood Hargrave discovered they were expecting twins. But Kiran miscarried, and thus began a long journey to parenthood that saw the loss of six more pregnancies. De Freston began exploring his experience of the losses in his artwork, searching for a way to make sense of his grief and of his wife's. He finds representations of his feelings towards Kiran in Ovid's myth of Orpheus, who, in turning back to gaze upon Eurydice, loses her to the Underworld; a story which captures the longing for closeness within a couple, and the intense pain in the distance between them. His search for understanding leads him to artists and artworks from Titian and Francis Bacon to Braca Ettinger and Gerhard Richter. And as the miscarriages mounted and de Freston became ever more aware of the precarious bodily experience that is pregnancy, he excavates the erotic charge of the male gaze, its yearning for connection, and the desires and boundaries that exist between lovers, and between painter and painting. Addressed directly to De Freston's wife Kiran, Strange Bodies is an intimate, authentic, and powerfully moving account of a loving relationship that pulses with wonder and insight.

Genres: Nonfiction

245 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 2, 2024

Reviews

[gee trushaden · Rating 3 out of 5]

took a while to get through, the writing is lovely but the long discussions of artwork without accompanying images was a bit too much for me, i found myself getting through it just to read the personal story of loss that the book was about. i appreciate he's an artist so it was about art, and that i could have looked up the paintings discussed, but i prefer to read before bed and not get screens out alongside my book... probably 2.5

[Max Egeter · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sorry, maar voelde me echt dom tijdens dit boek. Dacht echt zelfs vaak dat het een andere taal was gewoon.

[Candice Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this, 28 weeks pregnant, and full of the fears of past pregnancy related traumas and hopes of the future for this author and his family.
I found so much of what I was feeling reflected in this work but more so as an avid art history lover, I loved the varied paths this book takes in finding connection, ways to relate feelings and express unspeakable emotions, things too big sometimes for words into pictures. Imagery and bodily actions that reflect and distill what we go through and feel as first time, trepid to-be parents.
Humanity is, as the book puts it so well - a “mundane miracle”.
How not to be moved by the way that these everyday, normal happenings are ultimately full of magic?
Grateful for the happy ending, a gift to the reader who the whole time is wishing the family a lasting goodness.
Sometimes reading like an analytical art essay (not a criticism because I enjoy to read how others receive and understand the art and enjoyed the hearty mix of classical and contemporary contexts), everything always comes full circle in a relatable and meaningful way.

Edited to add - I would have loved a picture reference bibliography although I appreciate there must be an element of the complicated nature of copyright/licensing at play - however - I found myself pulling out my phone or computer at intervals to pull up the paintings and other visual works mentioned in the book and then would find myself distracted by my device and had to remind myself to return to the book.

[Julian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn't like anything else I've ever read. The artsy cover really got my interest when I bought it. And still, it fascinates me. The cover depicts the painting of a mourning man together with a crying, suffering woman. That is also what the story is about, at least half of it. This half of the book really gripped me. It was so well written, full of emotions, depicting scenes like it's poetry. The use of metaphors together with describing the little things really worked on my imagination. A piece of art.

The unconditional love Tom has, the endless devotion to her.. ah man, it inspires me and I can only wish to ever share this in my life.

Though, the pieces of art Tom has been referring to a lot didn't got my attention. I found it hard to focus on what he was telling about the many paintings he discussed. My imagination was already filled with the story of their relationship. At times, I couldn't follow him anymore, thus skipped through to the parts of him and his wife.

Special. The ending really touched me.
Thinking of making a project out of this book.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was honestly a bit painful to read. Half of it is simply describing different art work (think 10 pages straight describing one painting), which may definitely appeal to others, but personally I found this quite disengaging.

The book is said to be a love letter to the writers wife, but it feels more like a memoir. The artist is speaking about himself and what others have done for him, and there isn’t much focus on his wife who is supposed to be the subject of this book.

The writing sounds insufferably pretentious, but in the way that it’s not pretentious, it seems like the writer is just genuinely this person. He is authentically unbearable. You can tell the love he has for his wife, but even more you can tell his self-adulation.

If you enjoy art you may enjoy this, but be warned that you will also have to listen to a story diluted with a man’s self-importance.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a magnificent discovery! I can’t thank Daunt Books Summertown enough for promoting this book, and allowing it to make its way to my hands.

Strange Bodies hosts the reader as a witness to these incredibly intimate moments of love, loss, and yearning for life. These are accompanied by painting analyses and descriptions as ways to find solace, shelters from reality as well as places to seek answers to current sufferings. I found this book astoundingly moving as it follows the author and his wife’s hopes and despair.

The use of you, as a way for the author to communicate directly to his wife makes it a heartfelt love letter in which the reader gets to observe their first encounter, shards of daily life, medical emergencies, the hold of depression, the fear of a partner’s suicide, and the feeling of coming back to life.

A pure gem.

[liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked this, amazing that he was inspired by Ovid when writing about changing bodies because I make this link in my own work! Though his sentences are far more thoughtful and feelingful than I will ever write.

[Servane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unsettlingly beautiful alcheny of grief, hope, separation and connections.

[stella ☆]

i have never been so frequently distracted while reading something. could h e greatly benefited from having images of the paintings he discusses as this takes up almost all of the book.