Critical Connection: A Practical Guide to Parenting Young Teens

by Andy Kerckhoff

Parenting 10-14 years olds can be the most challenging of all the stages of development. Middle school is a time of tremendous change for families. Critical Connection is for parents of young teens who have • "So much is changing. I just don’t get my daughter any more. I don't want her to slip away." • "My son wants to spend every moment on some sort of electronic screen." • "My daughter has these extreme mood swings and her social life is such a big deal now." • "I am not sure how to discipline my son now. He's not a little boy anymore." • "I don't know what to do about her smartphone." While this may seem overwhelming, the truth is that being a young teen can be wonderful. Kids at this stage of development may not admit it, but they need a stronger connection with their parents than ever before. Wise parents must seek after a better understanding of the age and try new ways to connect with and guide their children. Critical Connection offers practical advice that will help parents raise healthy young teens, inside and out. It discusses how o Connect with your middle school child o Build a healthy family life o Discipline with love o Create resiliency and independence in your child o Foster a healthy social life in middle school o Guide their academic, athletic, and artistic life o Handle the new media and electronic devices o Develop work ethic and financial sense Critical Connection is a parenting book that teaches parents how to build healthy, loving families that their 10-14-year-olds can rely on for safety, support, and unconditional love. People who loved Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages of Children and Richard Louv’s Last Child in the Woods will love this book.

Genres: Parenting

236 pages, Paperback

First published November 21, 2013

About the author

Andy Kerckhoff is a mental health counselor and the author of Critical Connection. He has served in various educational roles for 27 years, including: elementary school principal, high school teacher, middle school teacher, and coach. He is now a counselor in private practice.

His first book, Critical Connection, is his guidebook for parenting young teens through middle school. It is written for all those parents who are struggling to have a meaningful, satisfying relationship with their rapidly-changing children.

Reviews

[Robynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

This book lays out, with facts, figures and citations, what I have been teaching for years: Young adults need their parents to be their leaders and role models. Children will emulate their parents in everything, all the bad and all the good things they do and say. When parents behave in the way they want their children to behave the kids usually get the idea and follow along without realizing what they are doing. Of course this is not a quick fix and it requires consistency during the time when a young human's body and brain are seemingly going out of control, but the pay offs on the other end will be HUGE.

This was a wonderful book to read and I highly recommend it for parents of pre-teens and teens. It may be the best parenting book I've ever read!

*The book does have a strong Christian theme running throughout it. However I think most of the ideas can be adapted for non believers and different believers easily enough.

[Andy Kerckhoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read what other authors have said about Critical Connection:

"I just finished reading Critical Connection. I can tell this is going to be a valuable resource now and as my daughters grow -- I actually underlined a powerful insight on every single page of the book! Andy uses his own life experiences, as well as his experiences as a teacher and administrator, to help parents meaningfully connect with kids—even through the most difficult teen years. I have read a lot of parenting books, and this was by far one of the best. I hope lots of people purchase it. It is a powerful and priceless gift. I will recommend it to everyone I can." - Rachel Macy Stafford, author of the Hands Free Mama book and blog.

"When your kids hit middle school, it's time to make sure they learn responsibility along with independence. That can require parents' patience, prayers, and perhaps a peek at this very book!" - Lenore Skenazy, author of the book and blog Free-Range Kids

"I am a parent to three teenage children, and after reading Critical Connection, I sure wish I had this book a few years ago! It is a must-have for parents of young teens. This is an easy book to recommend to others. I look forward to not only reading it through again to glean more ideas, but also to purchasing copies for friends who would appreciate the encouragement and challenges." - Mike Weinberg, sales coach and author of the best-selling New Sales. Simplified.

[Melinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Critical Connection has answered many of my specific questions and has given me an overall peace and confidence to move into the next stage of parenting. I have a Master's degree in Elementary Education and my children are 4, 7, and 9. I am still in my parenting comfort zone. Time is passing quickly and I need to be as prepared as possible. My desire is to thrive, not to simply survive, through my kids' middle school years. After reading Kerckhoff's book, I now have a much better understanding of young teens and a positive attitude about parenting my children. The chapter "Taking Care of Yourself" would help even the newest parents. The chapter "Mobile Devices" was extremely eye opening and gave amazing tips that I would not have thought of on my own. I highly recommend this book for any parent to read from cover to cover and then to keep handy as a reference tool. This will make great Christmas gifts.

[Darcie Putnam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kerckhoff's heart for parents and kids is clear and genuinely seen throughout the pages of this book. No doubt, surviving is not the goal; thriving is. Too easily, I fall into the trap of just "getting by" and while I believe most of us parents try our best, there are so many practical and simple ways he offers, that we can learn to think differently and change our less than ideal habits to better meet the needs of our children. The practical examples and balanced thinking is so refreshing in a world where kids seem to be the center of the universe. Clearly the work that Kerckhoff has done in his "day job" gives him one of the best platforms from which to provide wisdom & insight into our "tweens" world. I found great hope & encouragement from these pages to not only keep fighting, but help us all understand we don't just have to settle for 2nd rate relationships.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is relatable to a wide range of ages. There is definitely a focus on the family as a unit (whether it's a single parent family or two). My husband and I both found ourselves reading it out loud to each other and highlighting much of each page. The author makes it clear that there isn't one way to parent nor is this a "How to Guide to Parenting", which I appreciate. Each child is different, but if we focus on the right things, we will connect. I also felt the author had credibility from his years of teaching background and his own life experiences. Great book for parents of toddlers to teens! We are studying this book in a small group at our church and everyone seems to be getting a lot out of it.

[Laura Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great book for parents, teachers and coaches of middle school aged kids or even better, before they are in middle school! Critical Connection provides a great list a ideas for parenting where relationship comes first. Kerckhoff does an excellent job at helping parents realize that parenting looks different for everyone. I feel that I am truly a better, more confident parent after reading it! I can't wait to share it with others.

[Makuenzlegmail.com · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dealing with kids who are going through adolescence is just hard. The author helps give practical ways to connect and care for teens in a way that is helpful and very doable. Dealing with teens can be overwhelming and makes a parent doubt their capability and effectiveness in the home. This book gives back some confidence and empowers parents to make it through this challenging season. The author has personal experience that speaks to the necessary issues.

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is a resource that should be on every parents’ nightstand. It is accessible, useful, practical and full of real-world advice. The messages are clear and will resonate with you long after you put it down. Well done Andy Kerckoff.

[E. G. · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few great nuggets in here. I feel like the rest I already knew or read, but I read a lot of parenting books. This would be great for someone who feels completely in the dark about parenting tweens/young teens.