What do you think?
Rate this book
Thick As Thieves : Hilarious Tales of Ridiculous Robbers, Bungling Burglars and Incompetent Conmen
There are a lot of criminals around - but, fortunately for the rest of us, a lot of them are really quite dense. Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward.Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim.'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales OnlineIllustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.
247 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 7, 2013
71 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Penman
7 books2 followersI am now a fit person nearly 50 years of age I’m going to live until I’m 161 as I’m partially psychic. I Train in the Martial Art Called AIKIDO which I treat as physiotherapy, I go SWIMMING. I joined a dating agency in THAILAND with out telling no one where I was going or what I was doing and are now married. I’ve passed my DRIVING TEST, after being told NOT TO DRIVE
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
February 1, 2020
Yes, I know the phrase toilet book is cringe-worthy but that's what this is. This is the perfect toilet book.
It's a collection of amusing anecdotes about real-life failed criminals. It's funny enough to hold your interest for the five minutes you might read it - but not so funny that you'll embarrass yourself by laughing out loud in the lavatory, which is generally considered odd behaviour. Also, importantly, it's not so funny that you'll stay parked on toilet for hours chortling to yourself and saying, 'Just one more, then I really must get on.'
Just don't try to read it properly. There is nothing here to reward serious attention. After a while, it becomes a little depressing: to think there are so many stupid and mean people in the world. Honestly, you laugh so you don't cry.
It's a collection of amusing anecdotes about real-life failed criminals. It's funny enough to hold your interest for the five minutes you might read it - but not so funny that you'll embarrass yourself by laughing out loud in the lavatory, which is generally considered odd behaviour. Also, importantly, it's not so funny that you'll stay parked on toilet for hours chortling to yourself and saying, 'Just one more, then I really must get on.'
Just don't try to read it properly. There is nothing here to reward serious attention. After a while, it becomes a little depressing: to think there are so many stupid and mean people in the world. Honestly, you laugh so you don't cry.
February 12, 2018
Quite funny but the writing style gets a little repetitive after a while
Lots of giggles at the stupidity of those who are mentioned in this book. Not a challenging read but a good way to waste an afternoon of to brighten your commute. repetitive and formulaic
Lots of giggles at the stupidity of those who are mentioned in this book. Not a challenging read but a good way to waste an afternoon of to brighten your commute. repetitive and formulaic
December 19, 2020
Dnf'd at 14%
It seemed cruel to give a book I haven't read 1 star, that's the only reason it has 2.
A very boring book with poor structure.
It tries very hard to be funny - at one point the author jokes that if he were a fan of particular sports team he'd be drunk every night.
To top it off it's full of unnecessary name calling. We already know that criminals are typically not good people and that in these cases they're dumb too, we don't need the author calling them a b*stard and a jacka** constantly. Personally, I just find that quite cringey to read.
It seemed cruel to give a book I haven't read 1 star, that's the only reason it has 2.
A very boring book with poor structure.
It tries very hard to be funny - at one point the author jokes that if he were a fan of particular sports team he'd be drunk every night.
To top it off it's full of unnecessary name calling. We already know that criminals are typically not good people and that in these cases they're dumb too, we don't need the author calling them a b*stard and a jacka** constantly. Personally, I just find that quite cringey to read.
November 21, 2020
DNF.. bored stupid reading this.
Usually I will download short reads from kindle for when I'm getting my son to bed (when hes falling asleep).. any excuse to read right 😜 but this was beyond boring!!
The premise is a good idea, laughing at how stupid some criminals have been over the years, but the author doesn't do it justice. It reads like watching paint dry. Definitely wouldn't be recommending this to anyone.
Usually I will download short reads from kindle for when I'm getting my son to bed (when hes falling asleep).. any excuse to read right 😜 but this was beyond boring!!
The premise is a good idea, laughing at how stupid some criminals have been over the years, but the author doesn't do it justice. It reads like watching paint dry. Definitely wouldn't be recommending this to anyone.
December 16, 2019
Headlines
Here are the crimes that might never make the headlines of the nationals but are all the more interesting for that. Words you won't find in this book is criminal mastermind. It's a book to dip into and enjoy with a mug of coco on a cold night. Some are laugh out loud funny. Enjoy.
Here are the crimes that might never make the headlines of the nationals but are all the more interesting for that. Words you won't find in this book is criminal mastermind. It's a book to dip into and enjoy with a mug of coco on a cold night. Some are laugh out loud funny. Enjoy.
June 9, 2021
Simple and funny
Some amazingly funny and simple ways in which some amazing people are caught breaking the law. If some body was as bad as they are at their chosen profession, a true friend would have told them to change jobs," But you just don't have the knack for it.Give it up!"
Some amazingly funny and simple ways in which some amazing people are caught breaking the law. If some body was as bad as they are at their chosen profession, a true friend would have told them to change jobs," But you just don't have the knack for it.Give it up!"
April 24, 2020
A collection of stories of idiots and fools it might be, but didn’t really make me laugh.
January 4, 2021
A laugh out loud read
This is a great book showcasing the most stupid of criminals. It pulls no punches with its descriptions and a few of them will leave you speechless.
This is a great book showcasing the most stupid of criminals. It pulls no punches with its descriptions and a few of them will leave you speechless.
April 9, 2015
I picked this book up for 99p in a Kindle Countdown Deal yesterday because I was looking for something lightweight and amusing. This fit the bill perfectly with true and funny stories about ridiculous criminals that had me chuckling. (I wasn't expecting much because it was so cheap but I was pleasantly surprised).
One of my favourite stories is about two burglars who realised that they might be recognised as they were planning to break into houses in their own neighbourhood - so scrawled on their faces with permanent marker pen.
I also liked the bank robber who used his own car - complete with personalised number plate - as a getaway vehicle.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Thick-Thieves...
One of my favourite stories is about two burglars who realised that they might be recognised as they were planning to break into houses in their own neighbourhood - so scrawled on their faces with permanent marker pen.
I also liked the bank robber who used his own car - complete with personalised number plate - as a getaway vehicle.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Thick-Thieves...
October 8, 2015
Some of these stories collected are hilarious and some are simply boring. The layout of the stories could have made a huge difference especially if they weeded out the boringly dull tales and just kept to the best stories. I laughed a few times while reading this and it makes you wonder st the idiocy of some people.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews