Audited by the Anubis

Monstrous Meet Cutes #1

by Wendi Guff

I knew I shouldn’t have opened my door, but when a seven-foot descendant of a death god comes calling, you answer. Especially if this Anubis is from the government, but I don’t have anything to hide from the IRS. Right? Right?! Turns out, my mom—a.k.a. my business accountant—does. Now, every time I turn around, he’s there. Assessing. Advising. Arousing me until I can’t think straight. But I don’t need a stranger to fix my problems. I’m doing just fine on my own, and I swear the only thing crumbling in my life is the topping on my amazing fruit cobblers. Will I let Ahnou past the defenses I’ve built around my heart, or is my fall about to get taxing?

Genres: Romance, Monster Romance, Monsters, Fantasy, Paranormal, Paranormal Romance, Smut

293 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 1, 2023

About the author

Wendi Guff is a twenty-something free spirit who writes to the beat of the Monster Mash.

She loves feisty FMCs, sweet but dominant MCs, and of course, happily ever afters.

When she’s not writing, Wendi likes to read Mary Shelley (her favorite monster author) and watch The Office.

Reviews

[Kristina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m pretty sure I’d need a full lobotomy to make this plot work.


DNF 63%, rated because it sucked ass.

This book was ridiculous and made absolutely no sense. First off, he’s a dog-man, not a werewolf, not a shape shifter, a full on dog man covered in fur, with a snout etc.

But aside from that, this book felt like this author wrote it while day drinking. There were villains with no motivation other than just being awful, no world building, plot details dropped in willynilly with no background or explanation and worst of all, the sex was gross. Like he calls her arousal her ‘slick’ multiple times and licks a puddle of it off the floor.
Also, why was there a ghost at the 60% point, why did it watch him masturbate, and why was he so ok with it that? (This ghost was an elderly woman) 🤮.

Further questions that will remain unanswered include:

Why is each scene repeated from both characters’ pov?

Why are monsters walking around the USA and working for the IRS?

Why, if her mother is untrustworthy, abusive and very bad with money, is she in charge of her business’ accounts and filing her taxes and holding her money?

Why does her ex husband want her back after being divorced for two years?

Why does her mother support her ex getting her back? There is nothing in it for her.

What was the point of the dyslexia in this?

How did she run a successful bakery when she could not read and her mother was embezzling from her?

Why were they ‘fake dating’ when they are both into each other and know it? This had no plot significance other than to include the trope.

Why do the patterns in his dick determine his future?

How is he born with a cock cuff and piercing? Yet he can change them with others?

None of this book made any sense…
I’m out.

[Kat · Rating 1 out of 5]

So I read the whole book and I was giddy to do so. Honestly the Anubis carried the whole book because he's just so stinking cute. But there was so much fat shaming, and yeah I could get past it because abusive mom and it's so hard to get past that negative self image. But it just never stopped.
It really truly felt like the author was like hey let's shove as much trauma and shit into this FMC as possible. Then my personal last straw was the dyslexia. I'm sorry. That's just not how dyslexia works and I'm so fucking tired of it.
I'm dyslexic. I fucking know. Words don't dance around the page. No. It's bullshit like this that I get questions constantly asking "how do you read so much when you're dyslexic?" I'm not illiterate because of my dyslexia. So thank you author. Thank you for making me feel dumb because I have dyslexia.
I genuinely enjoying the book until the dyslexia parts. So thanks for making me feel like I was being bullied in middle school again, I guess. But I guess I didn't actually read the book because I'm dyslexic. Don't even know how I wrote this review. Huh, I might need someone to read this review for me because the words keep ✨ dancing ✨

edit: I realize now that dyslexia can be different experiences for everyone. But the way dyslexia was portrayed was incredibly upsetting for me personally as it brought me back to being bullied for being illiterate. to me it felt like having dyslexia and the FMC was portrayed in a very negative light, and that she was nothing more than a doormat.

[T Rojo]

ARC REVIEW

DNF @ 52% I cant do this anymore. FMC is TSTL the plot is just ridiculous (I mean I knew that going in just by the title but holy hell) Fern is being audited by the IRS because her bakery/tea shop whatever it is hasn’t paid taxes in 2 years. Auditor is an Anubis, there’s like no set up for lore just monsters roaming around being federal employees. Super instalove he claim bites her on accident but she’s human so that shouldn’t happen?? Somehow they start “fake dating” idk why they couldn’t real date? Fern is plus sized and has horrible self esteem, her mom treats her like shit, her ex husband treats her like shit. At one point Anubis guy and his super Anubis senses can tell Fern can’t read? (Apparently she’s dyslexic) but the next chapter he asks her if she likes to read? The house Anubis is renting is haunted and ghost just floats around? And sees him jerking off? Fern can see ghosts but never told anyone? I’m going to assume fern is some sort of monster and is Anubis guy fated mate something something kills ex husband and maybe mean mom the end.

[Lindsay M · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was the worst thing I read this year, and the only reason I didn’t DNF was because I couldn’t let this book win.

[Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoy most of the books in the series, disliked one. Very much cute, spicy and cozy with serious topics in them. While I loved the romance and friendship in this, I felt like it lacked a complete ending to the issues as they feel rushed. The focus is very much the romance and that part is great but I keep wanting more from the other part of the plot. And I'm not 100% on board how the fmc being plus size is handled. But the feels and vibes of this is 5 stars.

[Poppy || Monster Lover]

I got to 25%, was enjoying it, but am a bit triggered by her friend saying “you’re not fat” to a her, a plus sized woman. Just super rubbed me the wrong way.

[Biblio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audited by the Anubis was cute, cozy, spicy, emotional, surprising and more! This is monster romance done right. Wendi Gogh's writing is so easy to read and immerse yourself in. I am in love with Ahnou. He is tall, dark, handsome, sweet and a switch. Yes you read that right. The best boy. Such a good boy. Fern was such an easy FMC to adore and love too! She is realistic and sweet and hr story just melts my heart. There's a healthy dosing of spicy smut that is also simultaneously beautiful. But don't worry, there is ton's of plot too. Really just such a cute story. I don't want to give anything away because the twists make it phenomenal so be sure to check this out!

I had the pleasure to receive and ARC copy of this in exchange for my honest review.

[Marmom · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was a lot. The storyline was over the top ridiculous and too easily solved.

The mother bypassed villain and just went straight to unbelievable. It never explained why the ex was so obsessed with her - considering they were broken up for TWO YEARS and all he did was insult her.

I had to laugh when sera swore FMC to secrecy and two paragraphs later FMC told MMC the big secret, while still hiding her own.

About the 🍆: one sentence mentioned it being born with a collar, but in other scenes he was dressing it up in varying collars like a Barbie doll. Does the womb create peen collars? I’d just brush it off as a fun toy or accessory, but I’m fairly certain he mentioned he was born with it. And it’s made of gold which sounds scrapingly painful and also a PH nightmare.

The setup for the ‘Phim book was really reaching.

[eve · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of those “good, if you turn off your brain” reads.

[Michael K · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book jumps around in timeline, but not to its benefit. The author's so concerned with sharing every conversation from each pov, so instead of interspersing pov in the same moment, each chapter is a contained perspective of a single character, so each scene is repeated twice.

I hate books that do this. It's writing done for the sake of story, but not ease of readability. It's a slog.

Good luck.
Okay characters, okay interaction, steamy feels,
but dang.
DNF @ 66%.

[Lo Reads Books · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I DNF'd this

[Kalista · Rating 1 out of 5]

What the hell was this...?

[Emily]

“In this world, nothing is certain except knotting and taxes” -Ben Franklin I think 🤔

[Johanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 70% the whole thing was ridiculous. MFC was written as a fat(not plus size they actually used the word fat. Many times) self loathing doormat. MMC is an alpha who wants to be called a goodboy? I need to wash my brain.

[Natalie · Rating 1 out of 5]

omg this is actually so bad LMAO. i fear i need to do voice to text bc i have sm to say and i cannot type fast enough. OK to start the whole page number thing just set the tone horribly. What do you mean there aren’t any page numbers? another aspect of the writing that I really didn’t like is the most run-on sentences that this author keeps doing. I guess run on sentence isn’t a good word for it, it’s more just large paragraphs of speech. Which in my mind doesn’t feel that natural? I don’t know. Next, the characters. Oh my gosh, these people are kind of all horrible with the exception of the Anubis guy, but I have problems with his anatomy but we’ll get into that later. With our main character, her name is literally Fern autumn… And she has a red hair… Oh boy, how creative. Miss Fern though is kind of a train wreck and not in a cute way. she’s literally 40 and somehow she can’t seem to do anything and kind of just blames it on her mom. which she’ll admit her mom is kind of a horrible person, but there’s no way you don’t know how to read at the ripe age of 40. Tell me why she has this best friend that she loves more than the world and she just now is revealing that she’s dyslexic to her after they’ve been friends for who knows how long and to follow up with that she makes it seem like dyslexia is like this curse that makes her illiterate and stupid? Like she can’t even she can’t do any taxes or even read a menu like girl I know damn well you can see that’s chicken Parm. spoiler alert it just kept getting silly and silly because she was all like oh I have dyslexia and then Mr. Anubis was like oh I have dyslexia too which mind you he’s perfectly literate perfectly capable but then she also just threw out, oh I can see ghosts and then he’s like whoa. I can see ghosts too. That’s like an Anubis thing and then now at the end he found her dead dad‘s will, and the dad was like lol youre part monster, a.k.a. Anubis hee hee ha ha and in a moment of like anger I guess she just lashes out at him was like we’re only fake dating! girl be real be so for real. that ended like after the first 10 pages y’all just didn’t say anything about it and the she’s kinda goes back on that after she just yelled at him from saying like I’m not your mate. She switches to, I do love you and I do want you as my mate. Sis, make up your mind. Another thing to know is she keeps saying how fat she is and how ugly she is and how no man would want her but the cover art… Girly has no double chin. She’s got a snatched waist. She got quadruple D’s… Where is the ugly coming from? another thing to address speaking of bodies I guess I briefly mentioned how Mr. Anubis is anatomy is pissing me off because they keep making note that he’s basically this dog man and yet the terms they’re using… Like they keep referencing his hands as pause once again, looking at the cover those are regular hands. Those are regular hands. They’re not pause. However, at one point the remark how like she gets this cute little like hickey or whatever from him Homie has a dog face and a dog mouth that cannot possibly be the same as like a human bite like that is not gonna look cute that’s gonna be really painful and really large and noticeable and not what I think the author is trying to make it out to be. Another thing to note with the whole mouth thing is if you’ve seen any dog in your life that has kind of a longer snout, you notice how their mouth goes all the way down the snout it’s not just up in the front whereas on the cover, his mouth only covers like the very front portion of his snout so it looks stupid and that’s obviously not how dogs work so what was going on here author? Going back to the story itself there’s just so much that I feel like wasn’t necessary or that just felt kind of lazy or just clumsy? Like the whole dead ghost sister chiming in and mentioning how she watched him beat his meat like why was that necessary? Also, let’s just read it back in and recall literally this woman was getting audited by a dude from the IRS and just starts like whimpering? And so then he immediately is like GIR my rut! My alpha! And just pulls her onto his lap and then she like gets off on him I guess? And then is all like oh wow, my husband never made me feel that way… girl be so for real. and yeah, don’t even get me started on all the smut scenes. They’re all atrocious in their own special ways. For example, the whole “fern Sundae”thing… Wasn’t a fan. You mixing different sauces in that region is just begging for some sort of infection… yeast infection galore. oh yeah, in the whole burning down her house and café, what was that about? Like I know that was a plot device to get them closer but with the actual hell. in speaking of horrible plot devices the gun? The way the Mom just decided to shoot Mr. Anubis. But also once again, Miss Fern is kind of an idiot. We’ve already established that this Anubis species is really fast and really strong. Homie was so ready to dodge that bullet literally in the text It says oh I was already out of the path of fire but then fern lunged towards me and so she got shot instead. Actually stupid. Anyway I think I’ve complained enough, but you know at least with the other really bad books that I read i.e. hooked and the werewolf one, at least I didn’t have to pay that much for those or pay at all. I dropped $15 for this thing. That’s almost an hour of working and I wasted it on this slop. but it’s whatever burger

[Elizabeth]

DNF at 10%.

This poor woman is so down-trodden.

I am so tired of heroines who get bullied by their mom for being fat and who have low self-esteem. I'm also tired of having someone be taken advantage of because they don't have the brains to check in on their own adulting life.

[Evelyn Coke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disappointing. I thought the Cthulhu one was pretty cute so I was looking forward to this. The whole Alpha/Omega + Dom/Sub dynamic felt really forced throughout. The ghosts and ghost seeing ability really could have been dropped they seemed unnecessary . It didn’t seem like there was enough development or backstory with the antagonists for the climax. Like I didn’t really love the whole dyslexia situation but mom and ex husband could have been in it together at least; like trying to keep something from her ex: if the dad had set up money to pay out over time and they were trying to keep her isolated so mom could stay in charge of her finances. The arson and violence seemed to lack real build up. The insults were out of place. It seems like a more southern passive aggressive style would have worked better for the moms character; especially taking into account how concerned she seemed to be with how the rest of the town perceived her. Toxic mansplaining/ misogyny for the ex husband but only really open about it after they were married (she was supposed to like him at one point right?) The best friend was ok but pretty stereotypical. The whole thing felt kind of like a fanfic OC fic the way it was just like “I’m not only this but that and three other things too, plus here is my tragic backstory”. I was kinda checked out by the end of the book but I’m not sure if it even really even finished addressing the irs trouble. P.s. dad wasn’t that great if he never noticed or cared about a genetic learning disability that he evidently had previous knowledge of and was causing his daughter and others to think she was stupid.

[Traducarmen · Rating 2 out of 5]

simplemente terrorífico. un putísimo perro gigante que trabaja como inspector de hacienda, que cuando va a ver las cuentas de una clienta le pone cachondo y se la folla y pasan cosas que no tienen putísimo sentido y nada de este libro tenía sentido dios santo.

[Sadie · Rating 1 out of 5]

dookie

[Chloe Renee · Rating 1 out of 5]

dogshit

[katie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have no CLUE how this book has a 4.1 average rating, it's SO BAD. The fake dating is not imperative to the story, there's no world-building and the FMC is so annoying. Most of the writing was general and I didn't buy the bond between the two main characters. Most of the dialogue was cringe. The villains had no purpose and were bad for the sake of being bad.

Also this author did this thing where we'd have one chapter covering a topic/period of time, then the next chapter was the same topic/period of time from the other characters POV. It was lazy and took away from the movement of the nonexiststent plot.

[Vendea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Po dějové stránce moc pěkná meet cute mezi Anubisem a plus size pekařkou s vlastní kavárnou, která se stále nemůže vzpamatovat z předchozího manželství a z manipulativních pout své vlastní matky. Romantika jako taková byla taky cute... osobně jsem ale na počet stránek měla problém s až moc spicy a sex scénami. Knotting také není úplně něco, o čem bych musela číst... a ke konci už se to trochu podobalo telenovele. Mít to tak o 100 stran míň, tak je to cute spicy monster romance.

3.5/5*

[Ashton Reads]

DNF @ 14%

[Mia Mia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fern is a self-loathing, curvy woman trying to rebuild her life after a truly rubbish ex. Enter Anhou: tall, dark, delicious and absolutely built to ruin lives (in the fun way). Their introduction is pure monster romance mayhem.

The plot mostly vibes its way forward, with a few holes and more tropes than you can throw a rock at. There’s also a healthy dose of character inconsistency along the way. He’s meant to be an alpha but loves being called a good boy. She swings between completely spineless and suddenly dominant. It doesn’t quite mesh.

I stuck around for the obscure monster lineup but it was a tough one to finish. Solid premise, wobbly execution.

[bella · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to enjoy this but the execution of it just fell flat. I was very close to DNFing but forced myself to finish in case it got better but nope. The pacing of the story and the writing was just off. Conversations were written as if they don’t know how real people talk and events would unfold rapidly and with minimal detail.

It starts with our FMC getting audited by the IRS because she hasn’t filed her taxes in two years. Our FMC is shocked as her mom is the one that does her taxes for her bakery. With one phone call we find out that her mom is just a terrible person as she criticizes our FMCs weight immediately and we learn that she has been stealing money from her bakery to give to the FMCs ex husband. Our FMC and MMC have an insta lust relationship as they start humping each other on the couch after this call. Then her mother shows up at the door demanding that she get back with her ex so the FMC decides to tell her that she is dating the MMC. They start fake dating but I don't know why they just have a real relationship instead as they literally just fucked on the couch but whatever. It’s honestly not important because they continue to have a secual realtionship and it only gets brought up one other time in a passing comment and then they never discuss it. The MMC rents a home haunted by a ghost in the town and starts helping her file her taxes. Then the FMCs home and business is destroyed because her ex husband set them on fire so she stays with the MMC. Soon after the MMC finds out that the mom has been stealing money from her business and putting it in an off shore account. He also finds a letter from her dead father and the FMC finds out from the letter that her great grandfather was an Anubis. After realizing this the MMC tells her that they are mates because he bit her the first time they humped each other on that couch (ya nasty) and then they fuck again. RIGHT AFTER the mom bursts in and she’s like ‘you stole back the money i stole from you so now i'm gonna shoot the MMC’ but then accidentally shoots the FMC and kills her. The MMC freaks out but don’t worry guys the FMCs bestie is a seraphim and brings her back to life in a single chapter. Then blah blah happily ever after. (also expect no world building and how humans coexist with ‘monsters’)

I would've liked it to start with them being immediately attracted to each other but resisting as the MMC wouldn't want to get fired and the FMC not being confident enough to express how she feels. They could have started to get closer over a longer period of time as he helps her sort through her taxes and he could've even offered to tutor her for her dyslexia. Then after discovering that she is part Anubis we could have learned more about their history and about mates. I would have liked if the mom was more of a lowkey terrible person rather in your face about it because then it would've been a better reveal in the end about her stealing (and maybe she could've been the one to tell the ex husband to burn down the bakery so that she could try and steal the insurance money).

[Arenia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good smut, Mediocre plot and writing

First of all, these two are very sweet and super cute together. Fern and Ahnou treat each other well and their sexy times are great. It’s not an omegaverse story but has ABO dynamics with heats, knotting, alpha, etc. they’re both switches which was a nice change of pace as well. Both characters are also dyslexic and Fern is plus size. Both are pretty defining traits for Fern as a character.

As much as I like Fern and Ahnou as characters and a couple (and their smut scenes), unfortunately everything else just falls flat and it’s just due to poor writing. The plot is pretty over the top and these surprises keep popping up out of nowhere. That already lends itself to be overwhelming but in the right hands it can be executed well, but sadly that wasn’t the case here. If the author had made this much simpler story with just one or two minor plot twists rather than the like, dozen it had, I probably would’ve given this four stars. But poorly executed plot just made it really unfulfilling. Like Feen doesn’t have a true reconciliation with her mom and doesn’t grow at all as a character—such a huge letdown.

Also, PLEASE GET A COPYEDITOR. Rules for dialogue and quotation marks exist for a reason, thanks.

[Fawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

sweet desserts

A super sweet story of a IRS auditor and a bakery sweetheart. I love the low angst of the story, despite the rough tumbles they have to go through, and the easy plot. Sometimes you just need a feel good story, where the world isn’t going to end in fire, and this story more than delivers. Only saddened that the next story is about a bogart and not her friend, who totally deserves a story. I really want to see the feathers fly. Maybe some day.

[christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

i will read everything in wendi gogh’s monster series

this story was sooooo sweet but also so unbelievably sexy. a fierce little red head baker and a dreamy IRS anubis. praise kinks, switchy main characters. cozy, sweet, emotional. very insta love but in the best way possible.

this book delivered for the monster lovers. five freaking stars baby

i received an ARC for my honest review

[S89L5 · Rating 1 out of 5]

This has to be the first time I felt uneasy reading something.Granted, I probably wasn't the target audience, but I'm sure it's just plain bad for furries too.

Also, is it me or self-publishing is making it harder and harder to find well-written books that have a good plot? Anything and everything gets published with barely any editing. The use of palette for palate made my eyes bleed.

[no one · Rating 2 out of 5]

What a mess of a book 😂 It started out cute, but flew off the rails fast. It took me forever to read bc there was just nothing to get invested in. I eventually forced myself to power through the last 60% of the book.

Here’s a brain dump of complaints. I’m not going to edit or structure this because the book was a mess so who cares if my review is, too?

The villains are over the top for absolutely no reason. They act like children playing villains in a play written by children. Why was Chet still obsessed with her? Why did her mom want them back together so badly?

Her dead dad who supposedly loved, knew her mom was awful, but for some reason made her promise to take care of her mother (with a death pact no less?!) why?!

The sex scenes are kinda gross. So much fluid! I skipped most of them, b/c I just couldn’t deal with it.

Her disability and plus-size body are both very poorly written about.

The cover is beautiful, but that is NOT a plus-size woman. If everyone in the book calls someone who looks like her “fat” constantly, I’d hate to hear what they call an actual plus size person.

The dialogue is so weird. Why is everyone alway over explaining how much they empathize with each other?

Characters just “die” with no fanfare (technically they were already dead, but no one seemed to care that two characters disappeared from this plane of existence.)

She goes somewhere that is supposedly super safe and would never be found, only to be instantly found?!

Why the eff were they fake dating?! It never made any sense and never had any relevance to the plot. They were f**king the whole book. Like, what’s the point in pretending they’re “apart”? They were together the whole time.

The chapter where the MC dies and instantly comes back to life was so sloppily written and rushed. This could have been the best chapter in the whole book!

Why tf is the male Anubis excited about pockets in dresses?!?!?!

The concept was super cute. The book had so much potential but ultimately needed a little more polish.

I really liked the idea of the two friends getting together in the end, too, and thought they’d maybe get the next book in the series. But it seems like the next in the series is completely unrelated. Not that I would read it anyway.