1 1/2. Seriously. I’ve been struggling through the last few Cynster novels. The struggle ends here. This one is so bad, it has cured me of Stephanie Laurens. (Actually, I’ve paid for The Ideal Bride already so I’ll listen to it, but that’s it.) The first half of this series was a solid 3 1/2, then it started going wrong but it kept my interest with strong male characters and good sex scenes. This one is so boring I listened to it at double speed. The mystery has potential but never lives up to it. It’s supposed to be a house party murder like an Agatha Christie novel, but it takes so long and the victim was so obvious I was begging someone to kill her already. The solution is so poorly arrived at it made no sense. Timing is everything in a plot of suspense, but the timing here does not create a spooky atmosphere at all.
Meanwhile, we have Portia the bluestocking who has decided, quite scientifically, that she wants to have children so she’d better get herself a husband. But it’s like she’s just emerged from a coma and has no idea what men and women do with one another. Even though she’s had six London Seasons, and she has four sisters. Please. She lets Simon Cynster (I can’t even remember where he fits on the family tree, he’s so boring) seduce her as an experiment, to see if she will get anything positive out of marriage (I guess she’s forgotten about the kid thing already) then refuses to marry him. What?? Every. Single. Book. These stupid women refuse to marry rich, handsome, powerful men who are totally in love with them AFTER they lose their virginity, which means (in our 18th century romance mythology) they can never marry anyone else. It’s so unbelievable. SL writes the worst female characters, and Portia is the worst of the worst. (She needs to know, dammit! ) I think it’s some kind of 18th century feminism or something. I don’t want 21st century values in my 18th century novels. That’s not why I read about this time period. Back to Portia, who is always thinking. You would think the smartest woman in the room would be solving the murder, but she can’t even stay out of trouble herself. She drove me nuts. Simon has decided to marry her already, hence the seduction, but when he tells her he wants to marry her she’s furious. But the whole thing was her idea! She wants kids. Does she think they grow in cabbages? Or does she think she’s going to go marry some other man after what she’s been doing with Simon? I was appalled at her complete lack of morals. He says the only reasonable thing in the whole mess of a plot, what kind of man do you take me for that I would seduce a gentleman’s virgin daughter and not marry her? Finally the man stands up to this stupid willful woman. Geez. She’s completely unlikeable.
Anyway, I’m done waiting for these books to get better. I started with the four Lady Osbaldestone Christmas books, which are actually really good. Lady O is the best thing about this mess, the only thing that kept me going. I just don’t know how a book with two sex scenes in every chapter can be so boring, but it is and it really annoys me. I want my Audible credit back.