Vicarious

by Chloe Spencer

After suffering a savage assault in a bathroom as a girl, Gertie meets the man of her dreams. Her trauma soon vanishes as they begin to build a life together. However, with the sudden death of her beloved Jack, and the return of her school bully—Bea—years later, Gertie's long buried trauma bubbles to the surface. All she can think about is one thing: Revenge.

Inserting herself deep into Bea's life, nobody is safe—not her parents, not her children, not even the PTA members of her daughter's high school. Starting a sordid romance with Bea in a bid to destroy her life from the inside out, Gertie soon learns revenge is messier than she thought.

But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Genres: Horror, Lesbian, Fiction, Queer, LGBT, Adult

Kindle Edition

Published November 15, 2023

About the author

Minnesota native Chloe Spencer is an award winning writer, indie gamedev, and filmmaker. She enjoys writing sci-fi/fantasy, horror, and romance. In her spare time she enjoys playing video games, trying her best at Pilates, and cuddling with her cats. She holds a BA in Journalism from the University of Oregon and an MFA in Film and Television from SCAD Atlanta. You can find more about her on www.chloespenceronline.com.

Reviews

[Peter Topside]

An unexpectedly wicked little tale. Having been bullied when I was younger, I really put myself into our lead’s, Gertie, shoes. What if I reconnected with one of those bullies and had unlimited funds. What would I do? What would any of us do? This entire story, we follow Gertie down the rabbit hole as she is conflicted on her anger, love, hatred, and trauma towards her previous antagonist, Bea. And she finds herself becoming more sinister and devious than any bully could ever be. Lots of fun directions that this took in a very original way. There were a few instances that felt rushed, but overall the pacing was good. Plenty of lesbian sex for all of you horndogs, too. Not much that I can sit here and recommend for improving anything, beyond slowing the pace a bit and spending additional time developing certain plot points, ie the grief of Gertie losing her husband and Trevor’s conclusion. This was my first outing with Chloe Spencer and I’m eager to see more from her.

[Chloe Spencer]

Hey folks!

Vicarious releases Nov 15th and I wanted to leave this lil' review here not only because I love this story and its protagonist—Gertie is the most fun (but awful!) protagonist I've written—but also to provide some content warnings and other things!

This is an adult extreme horror novella, so think Jack Ketchum, Kristopher Triana, and Poppy Z. Brite. If you love gore, lots of violence, and revenge stories turned sapphic romances, this one's for you!

You can go to my website to look up content warnings at this link: https://www.chloespenceronline.com/vi...

[Mickey]

This was a short read about how far a bullied girl will go to get revenge.
This is marked as an extreme horror, but I spent the whole book waiting for something to happen that would warrant that. It read more like YA.
The storyline was good, but the thing that let this one down for me was that every character was just incredibly unlikeable. Well, aside from Jack. Jack was lovely. Everyone else kinda sucked.

[Bethany]

This novel took me by surprise. It was violent, but the character development and world building was spot on, so I was fully emerged into the story like I was there. I completely understood Gerties anger at the world. A victim of traumatising bullying as a child and then becoming a widower in her twenties. Despite Bea being her former bully, a part of me did sympathise with her for the horrific past she had. I wanted her to learn a lesson, but I didn't want her to become victim to Gerties plans anymore. I had absolutely no idea what would happen. Who would survive the ordeal.

I found the ending to be very satisfying. It didn't go the way I imagined, but it deffo went a better way!! It leaves a little smile of feminine rage on your face!

This book, as you can imagine, is trigger warning everything. However, it tells a fantastic story that leaves you gripped to the pages. The violence will deffo leave you wide eyed and in some cases, perhaps a little shocked. It's certainly a memorable, violent little novel!

[Sonia LeeAnn Hyder]

We all had that person that tormented us in our lives. They made our lives a living heck and made us feel small. Imagine running into that person one day and seeing that your life took a way different course then yours. Would you seek revenge? Would anyone stand in your way? Could revenge blur the lines and turn into other emotion? Well meet Gertie. She was tormented throughout school by her nemesis Bea. She has a chance encounter one day while getting dinner and from there holy moley what a ride. This book takes turns you wouldn't expect. No one is safe. No one is off limits. This includes her fellow PTA members. There are so many emotions packed into one story you worry it would jumble, but it flows effortlessly. Read this gem. You'll be glad you did. 5 ☆

[Jon]

"Is this a blood pact?" This novella dips into extreme horror multiple times. It was for that purpose that I purchased it and basically went in blind. I had no idea Chloe Spencer was so adept at blending multiple genres into one endlessly entertaining story!

This was my first sapphic read and wow! Chloe Spencer has complete control over the dial that controls the reader's emotions. I have honestly never read a story that could have me laughing my ass off on one page "Although her comment about remedial algebra was certainly ringing a bell," feeling DEEP romance feels on the next "Grief isn't linear. It's cyclical." and finally being grossed the fuck out on the next page "It moved in her jaw like something with the texture of an aged jerky, gritty and grimy, but slipper when soaked with saliva."

It opens with a bang and closes with a bang! 5/5! I can't wait to read more Chloe Spencer!

[Milt Theo]

Chloe Spencer's 'Vicarious' is a very, very weird book. Or so it seemed to me! It's supposed to be extreme horror, and, indeed, there are some scenes that do disturb and unsettle with their very strong portrayal of straightforward violence. However, what impressed me weren't so much the gory aspects as the emotional ones: the trauma of bullying, the disgusting body shaming and the sickening homophobia, were given so much emphasis, without any drama or preaching - it left a mark on my mind and made me understand a bit better the complexities of abuse. But the story takes one weird turn after another: it starts with Gertie, the central figure of the story, portrayed as a victim, later on she finds true love and becomes a calm, balanced woman, then she turns into a strong, determined mother and straightforward lioness, then she gets hung up on revenge, and makes her own life a very dangerous place to be. How much weirdness can a reader take? Well, the writing is excellent, the themes of love, grief, coming out, queer sexuality, and revenge are handled with great care but also quite lively, so I for one can't complain: I enjoyed it all and will certainly keep reading more from this author!

Many thanks to Slashic Horror Press for the chance to read before publication and review honestly and truthfully this novella by Chloe Spencer!

[luckykarmatx]

Splatterpunk fans who enjoy thought-provoking writing will really enjoy this one. This isn't your average splatterpunk that is just jarring and has no substance behind it. Spencer will have you squirming in your seat and thinking about this book long after you finish it. The writing was thought provoking, engaging, and very hard to put down.

This short book really packs a punch and I almost didn't want it to end. The main character was clearly evil, but I found myself rooting for her, too? I do not know how that happened, but here we are. Overall, this was a fantastic story and the unexpected ending was a brilliant way to end it.

Disclaimer: I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Damien Casey]

So…. Yeah… Chloe Spencer is pretty good at this writing thing, yeah? This un-put-downable-making-words-up-to-describe-it book left me saying out loud, “wait, is that REALLY how I feel?” more than once. Chloe Spencer has this ability to write characters and relationships that draw you in to the point that you’d be cool reading about these people starting a lawn mowing business. My personal reading philosophy is if a writer can create characters like that, I’ll read about them doing anything. Even if it’s analyzing sports and making comparisons to how what Spencer does is the equivalent of a pro football team establishing playaction. When you set one thing up, you can basically do anything after. A sports metaphor? I better just tell you that Vicarious reads like Serial Mom directed by Coralie Fargeat and end the review. K thx.

[Marie]

Thank you @slashichorrorpress for this novella by Chloe Spencer. Wow! This little book packed a big punch! It was a wild ride. It is gory and has a bunch of triggers, so is not for the faint of heart. It was also tender and delved into the complexities of relationships. It touched on love, loss, domestic abuse, queer relationships, forgiveness and also revenge.

Gertie is bullied as a small child by Bea. The way she treated her was traumatic, but out of that Gertie found her true love Jack. When Jack dies, Gertie's world falls apart and Bea comes back into it. Gertie is now out for revenge, but things aren't so simple now that they are adults.

[Joan Smith]

Thank You Chloe Spencer

Wow this book is More than a 5 🌟 s. It is one of the Best Books I have ever read. I definitely relate to Gertie the main character. Watch how Gertie handles her Trauma Reaction to her upbringing.

Most bullies are self serving and only apologize to make themselves feel better.

Crime horror
Revenge
F/F
Graphic Adult Content

[Wintry Monsters Press]

Wow. I was not expecting this story. It's fresh, frisky, and fucked. Multiple times, the author took me by surprise in gruesome and explicit ways. Vicarious is definitely recommended for those that can handle some of its more extreme sequences.

[Katrina Peirson]

Such a fun book. Very quick and easy read. Had me nagged the whole time and I couldn’t wait to see what happened!!! Definitely a different twist on enemies to lovers with a murderous love vibe!!!

[Rachel]

This queer horror novella was loads of fun. It starts with Bea assaulting Gertie in a bathroom when they teens, before they meet again as adults. Gertie decides to get in a romantic and sexual relationship with Bea in an attempt to ruin her life as revenge. The ending was satisfying and somewhat unexpected. I will definitely read more books by Chloe Spencer.

[Emily Haynes]

Gertie is bullied in school until her night in shining armor rescues her. Years later, after a tragedy, her life changed. Then, she encounters her nemesis . Gertie is after revenge no matter what it takes. How far will she go. Unexpected ending.

[J A]

To put it simply this is a book make you wonder if your are sick and disturbed for enjoying it. The Author has little nuggets of humanity between the schemes and murder that remind you that people are messy no matter how much power or control they normally possess. 10/10 would read again.

[Ren Rogers]

Starts slow but escalates into brutal, gross brilliance. Hugely satisfying on every level.

[L J Valentine]

Thrilling, bloody and pure FUN! I fell completely in love with the main character. Gertie, and wanted her rampage to never end. It reminded me of one of the greatest movies in the world - Serial Mom

[Charlotte Fry]

Short and sweet and totally gross, my fav kinda book

[Carrie Shields]

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐆𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥.

Being a member of the Books of Horror group has caused my already out of control TBR to grow exponentially, but I've discovered so many incredible authors there, and Chloe Spencer is one! Her novel VICARIOUS packs a punch from the opening page that I never recovered from.

Gertie is a complex, beautifully developed character. The daughter of a neurotic mother who was obsessed with true crime, Gertie developed a fear of going to the bathroom alone after her mother made her fearful of potential predators lurking everywhere. That fear continued when she got older and started school, and of course her peers caught on to her phobia.

After Gertie is viciously, violently assaulted in the school bathroom, she finds an unlikely White Knight in Jack, a kind student who came to her aid. The two form a friendship that leads to a romance and then marriage. Gertie is, for the first time in her life, happy.

Then Jack dies, and Gertie is left alone to raise their daughter. A routine errand leads to a chance meeting with her biggest nemesis of all, Bea--the girl responsible for Gertie's bathroom assault all those years ago. Gertie sees her chance for revenge, and she begins planning, having no idea that her plans will lead her down a very unexpected path.

I loved everything about this book and was completely blown away by the sharp, crisp writing and the vivid characterization of queer characters and complex relationships. This author has gained a new fan, and I can't wait to share her work. Thank you so much to the author and Slashic Horror Press for this riveting early read. VICARIOUS publishes November 15, 2023.

[Paige Ray]

This was my first time reading Chloe Spencer and she did not disappoint! I've had this in my kindle library for awhile now and I'm glad I read it! From what I hear, Chloe covers a pretty wide range when it comes to writing in general. Vicarious, however, is an extreme horror/splatterpunk novella. This story starts off with our FMC as a teenager being bullied by a classmate in the women's bathroom. Girls can be so cruel and just bullies in general, really. High School can quite literally be a living Hell.

Later on in life, Gertie is now a widow with a teenage daughter. When she decides to go pick up chinese for dinner one night, she runs into her former bully, Bea. Bea immediately recognizes her and strikes up a conversation and this eventually leads to them meeting up for coffee and an "apology" of sorts. Well things start to take a turn because Bea is making obvious moves and flirting with her. Gertie decides to act on those feelings and ultimately play her to get her revenge.

However, she actually starts to fall in love with her and realize that she really cares for her. Bea comes from a history of abuse within her family and Gertie is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure Bea's happiness and keep any past trauma away from her. This story gets dark af, bloody and brutal. I was fully invested in this story from page one up until the very end.

This is a LGBTQ friendly read that depicts bullying, body shaming, mental illness, grief and death. I will definitely be reading more from this author in the future!

[Kylie]

𝓡𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮:
Horror fiction, thriller, lesbian literature

𝓣𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓮𝓼:
Revenge, enemies x lovers, a bit of touch her & die

𝓜𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓼:
Our MC Gertie grew up being bullied nonstop by her nemesis, Beatrice. The bullying goes a little too far one day and Beatrice is pulled out of school, while Gertie befriends her future husband. Beatrice and Gertie cross paths later on in life and all Gertie can think about is that afternoon in the girls bathroom. She wants revenge, and she wants it soon.

𝓕𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓢𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓼:
- Gertie being a bad B and doing her murdering business.

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭 𝓑𝓾𝓲𝓵𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰:
Very descriptive murder scenes. Probs shouldn’t read if you’re not okay with reading descriptive killing and bullying.

𝓢𝓹𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓵:
3/5 - not many smutty scenes but there is knife play and some other things like spanking/violence

𝓞𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼:
Okay, so this book turned out not how I was expecting at all. I figured we’d get some murder revenge and what not and that’s about it. Throw in some sapphic yearning and murder and boom, 5 star read for me.

This book does contain themes such as SA and abuse. Not descriptive but is mentioned.

I low key ship Gertie and Bea so hard. Like yeah Bea did some really messed up stuff and she needs therapy for sure but Gertie is kinda messed up too with her murder tendencies. I think the pair work for sure.

[I.S. Belle]

I was lucky enough to read an advanced copy and provide a quote that they included on the back of the book - to summarize that quote, this book is violent, vile and absolutely delightful! I gasped out loud, I grinned, I shuddered. Heed the content warnings, but if you're in the mood for a revenge story turned love story drenched with gore and murder (and occasional bits in between murders that will make you go Aww), then Vicarious is for you!

[Megan Magee]

This was a pretty genre bending small novella, honestly! It covered a good amount of topics and featured a same sex relationship, with proper representation of safe kink play and etc. it’s hard to review novellas for the sheer fact that they are tiny, and the information included within is so impactful and grisly I’d ruin it if I went into proper details- so if you’re good with having minimal triggers and enjoy a lil bit of a sapphic gore fest, this is definitely for you.

[Joey Powell]

Ew... Oh, jeez... Aww?... Oh, no... Wait, what?... Uhhh.... WHAT?!... Ew... Sequel please?

^Me reading this book.

Another banger from Chloe Spencer. Shocking, spicy, unhinged, and unpredictable. Should this get a sequel, I'm very interested to see the further adventures of Gertie, one of the most interesting unlikeable protagonists I've read in a good long while.

[Shasta]

Woah! This was an intense, sometime funny, often brutal, emotional roller coaster of a book. Gertie, our mc, is really dealing with some stuff…trauma, grief, PTA, a new relationship/sexuality. How will she deal with all of this, well it’s a blood bath 🤭

[Sammi Dyer]

Vicarious written by Chloe Spencer
Is a roller coaster of emotions that will leaving you spinning in the aftermath of it all. Love/Hate is a thin line and some wounds run deep.

[MyTinyBookReview Deb W]

Ok this is not my usual go to genre. But damn I enjoyed this book. Did I audibly gag in the first few pages, yes, yes I did. But it was an imaginative, well written story.

[Koleno Reader]

Brilliant lots of blood and gore very easy to read

[Cat Voleur]

I have always been a sucker for a good revenge story. Am definitely looking forward to reading more of Spencer's work.