4am: Answers to the conundrums that keep you up at night • Advice from Ask Shameless

by Michelle Andrews, Zara McDonald

Since 2021, tens of thousands of readers have devoured the Ask Shameless weekly columns on dating, friendship and self-development, written by the Shameless podcasters and a team of talented young Australian writers.

In 4 am, Zara and Michelle have curated forty of their very best columns alongside ten brand-new ones – plus the follow-up replies from many of the original contributors, updating readers on what happened next.

From navigating toxic friendships and romantic dilemmas to finding the courage to pursue your dreams, these are the conundrums that keep us up at night – answered with compassion, wisdom and wit.

With contributions from rising stars Pema Bakshi, Madison Griffiths, Eliza Sholly and Maggie Zhou, 4 am is a must-read for anyone seeking guidance and inspiration in the modern world.

Genres: Audiobook, Nonfiction, Self Help, Essays, Australia, Relationships

222 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 17, 2023

Reviews

[Maddy Andrioff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely inhaled this as an audiobook and it felt like an extra long episode from my favourite podcast gals - such good advice covering an array of subjects 🫶🏻

[Louisa L G K · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine. I prefer the podcasts. Impressive number of clichés - ‘he is my sunshine’ or ‘i felt like storm clouds.’ In parts it got repetitive. Straight relationships not functioning. The inclusion of one queer story for representation was amusing.


3/5

[Sara Garrity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bloody loved this, I feel like a better more knowledgeable person having listened to it. I 10/10 recommend the audiobook :)

[Lucy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love my girls Zara and Mich, I thought this was a giant step up from their last book. I tackled this one by listening to it as my first audiobook ever, yes that is right. So for me this felt like an extended podcast by them. This however, gave really good advice to an array of dilemmas that were submitted to them. In actual fact there were some dilemmas that I felt that I had similar experience to where the advice I had given or received was different to the ones provided by the authors in this book. It really allowed me to think on previous experience and be like hey babe that probably wasn’t the best way to go about things, since listening to the girlies… they also had superb career advice which I took to keep, as atm I’m in abit of a career slump. They made me realise how young I am and how much time all of us have. So no need to stress babes, we are all on the right path! I think I want to buy this book physically as graphically it looks really nice and I’d like to flick back to some parts and re-read them. Cheers girls forever a shameless stan

[Greer Collinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me feel seen. All of the answers were so honest and heartfelt and wise, that even if the conundrum did not resonate with me personally, I still found myself reflecting on how I would/should act in certain situations should they ever arise. Always a pleasure to consume Shameless content!

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a follower of the shameless podcast currently, but enjoyed listening to the insight these women provided to those in a conundrum.

Audiobook

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

hate to say it but this book was just average? don’t get me wrong, i am huge shameless fans however i found this book (as an audiobook) to lack personality and that wow-factor. i think whilst a smart move for their brand to release a coffee table book, it’s name doesn’t make it live up to expectations. personally, when i think of what keeps me up at night, i think drama fuelled mysteries, conundrums, global conspiracy theories etc., not the average i cheated on my partner/ my bestfriend is jealous on me young aussie type dramas.

i also don’t particularly like the idea of some people’s biggest secrets and dilemmas being printed in a pretty coffee table book. an improvement would be to have the audiobook as a discussion of how they developed the advice not just reading out what they’ve written outloud.

[Stacey 📚📚 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook. It was like listening to a really long podcast, but I liked it

[Charlotte · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just here for the tea

[Claire Lawrence · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just binged this as an audiobook while at work and I cannot express how uplifting, fulfilling, emotional and raw it was. There was a question towards the end that felt like I had written it in, and the answer from Michelle made me burst into tears. The Shameless women truly have their finger on the pulse for what it is like to a be young woman in todays world, and offer advice with the perfect amount of tough love, nuance, and grace. Couldn’t recommend this more (plus it looks hot on a coffee table x)

[Maddi Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4-stars, I devoured this audiobook in just 2-day.

The same structure as Dear Dolly which I also enjoyed, and loved the updates & that it was narrated by the authors.

[Madeline Prebble · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love the shameless girls - this felt like an extended podcast

[Chelsea Quigley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really loved this. It removed anxiety’s and provided clarity to thoughts I didn’t know I was worrying about and yes, it does looks spectacular on my book shelf!

[Parul · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Sam Still Reading · Rating 1 out of 5]

Generally, I would say that I enjoy a book of advice columns, agony aunts…whatever you want to call it. They are an insight into realising that other people have concerns and worries and give practical, well thought out answers. I thought 4am would be along the same lines but it just fell flat for me. A lot of the queries were along the same lines and the advice varied from the sensible to the kind of extreme. Very few queries were the sort that would keep me up until 4am – mainly about unappreciative boyfriends, toxic friendships and the odd study/job conundrum. I was hoping for something more juicy or global (besides fast fashion consumption) and I was disappointed.

I don’t listen to podcasts so I had no idea that these women did one. The book is divided in self, friendships and dating which I felt limited the topics a bit – what about career? Family? However, I don’t know what the criteria are for writing in so maybe they don’t cover other topics. I felt the advice given varied on the respondent, with some spending a decent chunk of the response talking about their own lives. (I presume this was to show the person asking the question that they understood what they were talking about, that they’d been there and come out the other side). However, at times it felt false to me, kind of like that friend that rabbits on about themselves no matter the context. Sometimes the advice felt a bit extreme, giving only one potential suggestion (e.g. leave boyfriend) rather than exploring the issues further. At times the advice felt naïve, at others it felt like the respondents had made up their mind that this was the correct answer. I felt that the most consistent, balanced advice came from Pema Bakshi, and I looked forward to reading her answers.

I preferred Dear Prudence by Daniel M. Lavery for the variety of queries as well as insight into how the questions were answered and Dear Dolly by Dolly Alderton. This book just didn’t have the depth of perception for me.

http://samstillreading.wordpress.com

[madz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook on Spotify, which was kind of like listening to their podcast. I do know that the book was written as a ‘coffee table’ book and was probably not meant to be consumed in a binge like I did.

I quite enjoyed the chapters on friendship and dating, in particular I really liked the columns by Michelle Andrews and Eliza Sholly. Michelle’s in particular were great as I felt that they were validating and always provided score on actions or next steps. I didn’t enjoy the chapters on self as much, however I don’t think I was the target audience at all for those ones!

I think this would be a great coffee table book, a good conversation starter and something great to share with friends. However, sometimes I felt that the responses were too harsh and presumptive.

[Clare Hilsz · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are a Shameless Podcast listener / and or love a good agony aunt column, then is a perfect easy summer read.
It’s such a diverse collection of reader letters that are then offered advice from the Shameless team. I actually flipped between the audio book and the hardcover but preferred the audio book 1000%
It’s essentially like an extended podcast and was such a great audiobook to have on during the grind of December. 🤪💀🤣
Some really juicy and interesting topics and problems are discussed with great advice given.
4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️
#claresbooklist2023 #lambethbookclub

[Kelly Hyland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have clearly never had a unique experience 🤣 This was a great listen as an audiobook version. There were dilemmas that I, in some way, shape or form have experienced and the advice I received or gave was very different to what the girls had given. Their differing advice at times made me reflect on how I handled previous situations in the past and what I would do differently at my current age and with the new advice/knowledge I have from this book. I wish my past self had this knowledge and these different perspectives

[Georgia Mullins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the structure of this book - people writing in and then the shameless girls answering. It reminded me of their podcast Everybody Has A Secret. I also really liked how it has been structured into sections.

[Liz Stephens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listen to this one on audiobook if you can, hearing the replies from each columnist made it so much more personal/impactful

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect balance of juicy dilemmas and empowering advice! Love the newsletter but only signed up this year so this was the perfect way to catch up on what I’ve missed!

[Chelsea Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly I enjoyed it more than I expected

[Verity · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love reading the Shamless newsletter every week so no surprise I adored this!!!

[Neve Epis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Super easy read, I love anything everything Zara and Michelle produce but also loved hearing different perspectives from the other writers aswell.
Some stories resonated with me whilst others were just in the background but overall would recommend to those wanting a bit more Shameless content and can’t turn down a bit of wholesome life advice.

[Elle Pollock · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love listening to Shameless and appreciate Michelle and Zara but the majority of these questions and answers were not relevant to me and do not keep me up at night. I did like that they included other contributors columns and for adding follow-up replies where possible.
*audiobook

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an easy read. My main reaction was feeling relieved to be through the angst of my twenties!

[Jazz Brewis]

I’m sure it’s great for some. I just found it really “first world problems” and can’t really relate

[Hannah Doherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inhaled this as an audiobook - I want to do it all over again 🥹

[Raquel Gazzola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun audiobook listen

[Jordan Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

first 5 star of the year! could listen to these two forever and found their responses super insightful and advice I’d want to follow