The Emmanuel Promise: Discovering the Security of a Life Held by God

by Summer Joy Gross

God's face is always shining toward us. Our God is not asleep, nor indifferent. But we don't always experience this nearness or the depth of how beloved we truly are--especially if we have experienced neglect, betrayal, or indifference in our formative human relationships.

Drawing from the deep well of Scripture, attachment theory, and her own personal story, Summer Joy Gross invites you to experience Emmanuel, God-with-us, as the One whose love toward you is secure and unchanging. She teaches you simple, repeatable practices grounded in biblical teaching and our rich and ancient church traditions that will equip you day-by-day to build a secure attachment with the God who holds you in a sure hand.

Because when you are rooted in God's nearness in the ordinary moments, you can rest in God in the midst of life's storms.

Genres: Faith, Psychology, Christian, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Christian Non Fiction

240 pages, Hardcover

Published April 30, 2024

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gem! Both astute and tender, it is not just a “good read,” it is a transformative one. The author, Summer Joy Gross, skillfully integrates findings from attachment theory, neurobiology, and contemplative practice, to bring hope to all of us who have struggled some with the vague sense that a God who promises to be near, present, attuned…feels more distant around the edges. More theological concept than living Person. Or, if a Person, one who is preoccupied, judgmental, unpredictable.

Summer Joy gently leads the reader into an understanding of how their earliest experiences in relationships have literally been woven into their neurology, and may have led to various “insecure attachment” styles that impact all their connections, with self, the world, and GOD. And then, she shares the good news …. that repair and restoration are possible. Taking the learnings from attachment theory and science, she demonstrates how contemplative spiritual practices can actually offer the experience of relational encounters with the living God. And those encounters, repeated through time, can lead to an unmistakable sense of “secure attachment” to a God who has been there all along, attuned, beckoning….and longing to heal those ancient attachment wounds. Always available, ever present, and longing for us. After laying the foundation of attachment and God, the book then offers a feast of spiritual practices to ground the learning in experience.

I myself am a therapist, familiar with attachment theory and with the neuroscience that informs it. I have seen the healing that comes through the offering of a secure attachment through time to patients whose early experiences were less than optimal. On a human level. But when I recently came across Summer’s work, I was blown away. Contemplative practice has been part of my own formation for awhile, but Summer’s explaining how those practices can forge a whole new experience of attachment with God, opened my eyes - and my heart - to His engaged, attentive, personal love in a new way. They are now far more than “practices,” they are encounters. Encounters that are changing my life.

The Emmanuel Promise is the real thing. It rings with the voice of its author … with the compassion and wisdom of a pastor and a spiritual director, the authority of one steeped in theory, science, and biblical truth, and the vulnerability and power of one who is a fellow traveller, sharing bravely her own story. But, finally, it is not just Summer’s voice that rings through these pages. It is the unmistakeable voice of Emmanuel … inviting us, calling us home. This book feels like gift … from Him, to us.

[Beth Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

HIGHLY recommend this book! Rev. Summer Joy Gross offers us a path to healing from attachment wounds we’ve experienced with people by pursuing and growing a deeper and more sustaining attachment to our Emmanuel. Unlike many books, this thoroughly answers the question of YBH? (Yes but how?) With each practice that she teaches in the book, she provides videos to guide us. Don’t miss that part of the experience, it makes all the difference!

[Caren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one i will reread every year. Its changed me from striving to finding what i need in my attachment to Jesus. I can visualize Jesus holding me and comforting me through difficult days and it’s so much better than any human can.

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

There came a time when the tools I had for connecting with the Lord weren't working. I'd only been given a few by the church and I was struggling to know how to find Jesus in the midst of my heartache, my overstimulated early days of motherhood, my loneliness, my longings when the rigid models for prayer and scripture reading felt stiff. This is the book I wish I had then.

Summer Joy Gross offers her personal stories and gentle teaching in the pages of The Emmanuel Promise. I know I've felt so much shame or confusion when I couldn't experience the Lord's presence and these are the words and practices I longed for in those days. This book offers the kindest way forward in understanding the connection between our attachment wounds and struggling to see the Lord's presence with us. I love how Summer offers so much hope for healing as well as tremendously accessible practices grounded in brain science and attachment theory for how to experience the Lord's presence.

I've personally experienced so much healing and growth, as I've practiced what Summer shares in these pages. I believe in deeply personal ways that I am loved by God, that his face is turned towards me.

I've been beyond grateful to have learned from Summer Joy Gross over recent years through her podcast (The Presence Project) and in the small groups she's led on Zoom. I've had the distinct privilege of getting to experience her gentle presence, and the way she lives what she teaches and am so glad to tell you that her real life nurturing translates to the pages of The Emmanuel Promise. And you can experience the gentleness of Summer for yourself as part of the reading experience is the opportunity to access videos (lectio divina, guides for the practices) Summer has made to companion the reader through each chapter.

This is a book that I was already planning to reread even before I had finished it. It is so helpful and kind, and I can't recommend it enough. I hope you get to experience the compassion and nurturing of Emmanuel through the gentle mother voice of Summer Joy Gross for yourself.

"God has been practicing your presence all along. When you turn toward Him, you'll find He is already turned towards you."

[Lori Whitaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tender. Kind. Peaceful. Good. Loving. This book speaks the truth about how God sees us and desires us to recognize how much He wants to be with us.
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Practical ways to practice His presence are throughout this book as well as access to videos that Summer has created to walk you through some of them.
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I am grateful for the timing of these practices as only God knew the hard things that were coming and I would utilize these practices until they became almost automatic. There is a peace that passes understanding and it’s the most real thing I have experienced. It does not remove the trouble Jesus told us would be here, not one bit. But it does provide a place to rest in it every moment. There’s a place where I know my tears are being collected and I am surrounded by the bigness of God Almighty, Savior Jesus, Holy One.
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I assure you that Summer’s love for Emmanuel and her praise of Him is evident on every page. She has walked this journey and generously shares her heart.

[Kelly Hallahan · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve ever wondered why your spiritual life is lacking the power to actually transform your life, and you are longing to experience God’s love in fresh and tangible ways- pick this one up. Summer Joy is a compassionate, gentle guide who has walked the path before you, has filled your backpack with helpful tools and resources, gives you a vision of the vistas awaiting you, and introduces you to the living God who won’t leave your side as you journey onward. As a mental health counselor in training, I found her research sound. And as a believer, I found her practices helpful.

[Sarah Pascual · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are some great tools and guides in this book to formational and abiding practices and I’ll probably reference back to it regularly. However, and this is personal, I’m not very interested in attachment theory and how it relates to God, which is what the book is built around. The first half was meh, but the second half was great!

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another favorite book this year - will also be returning to it again and again for my own self and as a resource in walking with others.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Emmanuel Promise by Summer Joy Gross leads the reader to examine their growing up years and patterns formed, how that relates to their relationship with God and Jesus, and how we might establish a new more accurate connection with Christ in the future.
I have been exploring other facets of the Christian faith outside that which I was raised, and this book has fit quite well in my adventure. I appreciated the explanation of attachment theory and how experience in our young lives can affect our entire life and experience of God. I was not left hopeless and also appreciated the suggestions of how to relearn and have a healthy relationship with the Lord and not revert back to our old ways.
If taken seriously, the info and suggestions offered in this book will help you to rethink and reconfigure your faith and have it based not on the judgment of God but on His nearness wherever you may be, whether that be in doubt or in faith or somewhere in between.
I hope you will give it a read - it will challenge you. I know it did me!
I received a Kindle advanced copy of this book from NetGalley. I hope to get a paper copy in the future and revisit this book at a slower pace, mark it up, and utilize the videos that were linked to in many chapters.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the pages of her book The Emmanuel Promise, author Summer Joy Gross, sets a beautiful and hospitable table for us the reader. I felt like I was a welcomed guest — I felt seen as I read this book.

She fills the table with all the goodness found in Scripture of the very real and attentive presence of God. As side dishes she incorporates brain science, attachment theory, and practical resources to rewire our brains for connection. She beckons us to believe that we can experience Emmanuel in our daily lives.

The author talks about the barriers we have to experiencing God’s presence due to our attachment wounds from early caregivers. She not only compassionately points out the problem, she also offers practical solutions to healing. Numerous examples and personal stories make the material relatable and accessible.

This book is full of rich wisdom, compassion, kindness, and a gentle invitation to more. It is a wonderful resource and guide to spiritual practices as well.

(I received an early digital copy of this book)

[Lori Sammartino · Rating 5 out of 5]

You’re going to want to have a highlighter at the ready because of how packed with goodness this gem of a book is. If you’re tired of only knowing about God and want to taste more of a living life alongside Him, then this book is your ticket, or your “on ramp” as Summer likes to call it.

Having worked as a directee of Summer’s over the last four years, it was apparent that all of her wise teachings are tied up in this treasure of a book, one that I will now return to over and over again to glean more of the gift of helping me experience God in new and deeper ways. Summer says that sensory experiences are sticky to our soul. Well, that’s what you get as you dig into the pages of her writing, not to mention the helpful videos linked to each chapter in her book. Who does that? Who gives you bonus practical content that walks you through each of the practices they’ve written about!? I’ll tell you who does! Summer!!! And the videos will enhance your take away, big time. It’s like having a spiritual director in your pocket at the ready guiding you through a collection of just the right practices for experiencing more of the Lord’s presence in your everyday normal walking around life. Summer calls that “Monday Morning Practical.” I guarantee you it won’t feel like you’re adding one more thing to your long To Do List. No, it’ll feel like your “have to” has turned into a “want to” as you encounter the loving presence of your friend Jesus on every page of this book. Buy one for you and one for a friend and double your experience of joy. 🩷🩷 I’m so excited for how you’re about to encounter the Lord in new ways through Summer’s gifted words.

[Sarah Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know if I can adequately describe how deeply this book will change your life of you let it… it’s different to any other faith based book you’ll read.

I’m a therapist myself & I’ve also been listening to Summer Gross’s podcast for the past 4 years, and I now have her book in my hands… and let me tell you it has been the most profound experience.

Usually when you engage with any Christian teaching, without realising it, unconsciously, you filter it through a lense… the assumptions & believes formed about yourself in your very early relationships - beliefs that cloud how you see God. This book turns all of that on its head, gets you to get beneath these assumptions at a deeply emotional level that surpasses words. It brings together neuroscience and decades of solid attachment research and theology & invites you into a right brain, embodied connection to Jesus.

And then, it provides you with so many practical, real ways to practice Gods presence to heal deep wounds & connect at an intimate relationship level with God.

These spiritual practices have become the backbone to my daily routine…. Because of this teaching, I now know how to breathe in scripture as a breathe prayer when I’m in free fall anxiety. I know how to sow Lectio Divina, slow word immersion into my daily commute to work. I have experienced the touch of Jesus & His gaze upon me through Visio divina - the practices have really enabled me to deeply meet Jesus that surpasses my human understanding and I’ll be forever grateful

[Kathleencantwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Summer is generous, gentle and wise. Sharing wisdom gleaned from years of studying attachment theory, her own experience with attachment wounds and countless hours working with people, she has much to offer us in our journey toward healing. Reading this book brought language and understanding to wounds I’ve carried and worked at healing for a very long time. It feels like this was the missing piece to a puzzle. I now understand the attachment style I am prone to, helping to make sense of my story.

The second half of the book is filled with Attachment Practices that rewire our brains to attach healthily to God, our loving Father who is able to love us wholly, where our primary caregivers lacked the capacity. In a way, I feel as though I am being reparented with a healthy blueprint, from a loving Father. The practices are easy to learn, always available and replace old, unhealthy patterns in relationships, or where there is lack of relationship.

I trust Summer, she has made herself available not only through this book, but in podcasts, content through email letters, social media, videos and even small groups. To accompany this book, Summer has graciously created videos that help explain, and give tangible application to the practices she shares.
You will be blessed by the content of this book. I have given many away to friends who have also struggled with the feeling of rejection from attachment wounds. Two thumbs way up on this book!

[Ann Beyerlein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many struggle with regular "out of nowhere" anxiety, continual insecurity or fear of not belonging. We may know we are loved but aren't experiencing this knowledge on a deep level. Summer Joy Gross's new book The Emmanuel Promise is based on neuroscience and attachment theory and styles. She gives words to what may have caused these feelings and hope for how God can meet us in these broken places. Understanding more about my own insecure avoidant attachment from childhood has given me understanding, words and space for more healing.

Summer's book includes contemplative spiritual practices that will help one go deeper into the love of God. This type of work takes time. Summer says, "Our brains have to be re-wired to perfect love." She has also made videos available for each chapter that will help one further process these ideas. Especially with the videos, this is a great book to read as a small group. Counselors, spiritual directors, pastors, parachurch leaders, and many others will find this book a helpful resource for themselves and others.

I've heard Summer teach many times in person, on zoom and in her Presence Project podcast, with vulnerability and warmth. She uses God's word, theology, and psychology to help people move toward wholeness and has lived what she teaches and writes about. She is an Anglican priest, retreat leader and spiritual director.

[Michelle Kidwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Emmanuel Promise
Discovering the Security of a Life Held by God
by Summer Joy Gross
Pub DateApr 30 2024
Baker Books
Christian| Religion & Spirituality


Baker Books and Netgalley provided me with a copy of The Emmanuel Promise for review:



The face of God is always shining toward us. God is neither asleep nor indifferent. We don't always experience this nearness or depth of love--especially if we have experienced neglect, betrayal, or indifference as children.


Summer Joy Gross invites you to experience Emmanuel, God-with-us, as the One whose love toward you is secure and unchanging as she draws from Scripture, attachment theory, and her own experience. Using simple, repeatable practices based on biblical teaching and our rich and ancient church traditions, she equips you to build a secure attachment with the God who holds you.




You can rest in God even during life's storms when you are grounded in God's nearness in the ordinary moments.


I give The Emmanuel Promise five out of five stars!


Happy Reading!

[Ruthanne Szenasi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely LOVED this book! I am grateful that I read it with a group of ladies in a book club format, to keep me accountable for finishing it. It is not a light, easy read. But if you allow it to, it will TRULY transform your relationship with God. Summer Joy Gross invites you to examine the attachment style you are unconsciously operating with as a result of how you related to your primary caregiver(s) as a young child. She builds a case for that style being your default, and how you relate not only to other people, but also to God. She helps us realize that we all look at God through a filter, that has been formed by our attachment style - whether we had/have a secure attachment or an insecure attachment, it influences the lens through which we experience God. But she also leads you through practical ways to create an "earned secure attachment" bond with Emmanuel, both through exercises (like journaling) and regular practices like silence, Lectio Divina and Ignatian Imaginative Prayer.

[Kimberlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first encountered Summer on her Facebook group, The Presence Project, I felt as if I had met a friend who understood my heart. I began to listen to her podcasts and practice the exercises mentioned to increase my attachment to God during a time of deep pain and discouragement. As I entered into small group formats with Summer I continued to find a home for my heart and was strengthened through contemplative practices in the presence of one who understood attachment wounds from childhood. These last two years have birthed a deeper understanding of my feelings of aloneness during difficulties and I have been able to address those feelings with my family. I knew Jesus was with me but still struggled to know His nearness when sad. The contemplative practices used have provided a way to reconnect to the heart of God. I have been telling anyone who will listen that there is a way through the grief, to find myself resting in Christ, knowing I am His beloved.

[Duski · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a gift to the Church! It’s the first book I’ve read that does the important work of integrating all we know about how the brain can heal from attachment wounds with the truths we find in Scripture about the security believers have in Christ. For most of my life, I’ve known the truth in my head, but have struggled to actually experience it in my body as I live, move, and make choices throughout the day. The practices in this book, along with the free videos the author offers on her site, are a gentle guide into a secure attachment with Jesus as you read through Scripture and learn to embody it’s stories and teachings. I’ve experienced soothing of generalized anxiety, a deeper prayer life, ability to express suppressed emotions in prayer and with others, and a deeper trust in God’s care and provision as a result of slowly working through this book alongside Scripture. I’m so grateful for this book!

[Bette Dickinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you just need a guide to lead you to Jesus. Someone who can facilitate space for you to encounter God. Summer Joy Gross is just this guide. With gentle compassion and empathy, Gross creates sacred space for the reader to exercise self-compassion, learning to connect with God through the lens of attachments. We can often get in our own way. Either avoiding God or distracted, it can be hard to connect. But Gross' wisdom, guidance, stories, and tools have helped me to center on Jesus through a deeply embodied way.

Plus, BONUS - her spiritual practice videos that come with the book are such a rich treasure trove of resources that lead you right into the heart of God and through the word. From lectio divina to imaginative prayer, these video led practices from Summer are worth more than the cost of the book itself!

[Joy Seiler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Summers book The Emmanuel Promise is a gem of many colors as this is her ability to share her own story of vulnerable in knowing God with her. This saying is very real to me and many I believe, “hurting people hurt people,” It’s in our families, churches etc..Yet there is hope found on the pages, invitations she gives to process, unprocessed hurt to know God with you in your vulnerable places.
The Emmanuel promise gives a voice to your own hurt and with slow purposeful movements found on the pages and with scripture the unhurried invitations become a welcome door to trust God with you!

[Monica Snyder · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Dear One, can you see God’s ear ‘inclined to’ you? He is always attentive, tenderly watchful, and never too busy to listen…This is the invitation. Our Emmanuel, present with us now, desires to hear the cry of our heart. ‘What do you want Me to do for you?’ He asks. The beauty of this exchange is that we are turning our face toward His, recognizing His ability to meet our need. When we turn toward the gaze of our Emmanuel, carrying forward our heaviness for Him to make sense of and heal, He calls this faith.”

[Laura Hundley · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know, as children we are taught that praying is the way to speak to God. I remember getting on my knees at night and praying my little heart out. Yet it did not seem to bring me the closeness thqtni was hoping for. When I saw this book as a giveaway,I decided to enter for it. Summer Joy Gross is an amazing writer who can ensure that the reader feels love and promise as they read the book. Using scriptures Gross is able to allow the reader to learn new ideas to enable themselves to find ways to become closer to God and have a relationship with him that will keep you close and understanding his love for you. I love, love, love this book. There is no one way to see or feel God's love for us. There are many and sometimes we just need to stop and look at everything God created.
As you read you will also learn Ancient church traditions that will help you along the way with your attachment to God and his love for you. We must neve forget how much we are loved and wanted. We have a purpose and God has plans for each of us. This book contains the best information for those seeking a relationship with God.

5 Beautiful stars

Thank you to Goodreads, the author and to the publisher for giving me a copy of this book to read in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Summer's book is a road map to rewire our brains to a secure attachment. It is also a guide to inns along the way, where we can find refreshment and rest in the journey to earned secure attachment.

"The beauty of how God designed our brains is that no matter how deep the patterns of self-protection and hiding go, there is always hope. Our insecure attachment can be transformed. Our minds are able to be renewed. " I love that this book is solutions based.

[Sarah Durrance · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one that will stay with me. It beautifully portrays the tender nature of Jesus and prompts you to consider what attachment patterns in your early life have shaped your view of him. The whole second have of the book is a very simplistic approach to spiritual practices that feel doable and refreshing. This will be my recommendation for anyone seeking to shift their image of Jesus and find that connection between head and heart.

[Shelly Sorem · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book does a beautiful job of intertwining attachment theory, neuroscience, our story and learning to be in the presence of God. Summer's vulnerability and gentle voice leads you to examine your own attachment to God and provides you with many spiritual practices to connect with the Lord.

[Elizabeth Parson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is vulnerable, filled with scripture, and made learning about attachment theory digestible. I felt so much hope about my relationship with God as I read about His love for me and His desire to deepen my relationship with him. I am so excited to practice all the tools in this book!!

[Emily V · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not completely sure I align 100% with summer’s theology, but the book is very helpful for those wanting to truly heal their view and lens of God, that was misshapen by insecure attachment rooted in childhood!

[Siv · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! I had never given much thought to attachment theory as it applies to one's relationship with God & the author takes a relatable approach, weaving her personal story throughout. The second half of the book includes spiritual practices to help one develop a secure attachment to God.

[Stacey Cochran · Rating 3 out of 5]

This books was just ok. I enjoyed the first half more so than the second half. Most of it just wasn't my cup of tea.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved. Attachment Theory & practicing the presence of Immanuel, God *with* us. If you are at all interested in attachment psychology and a follower of Jesus or curious about Jesus, highly recommend. Will be using this book as a reference in many days to come!