Run Like Hell: A Therapist's Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds

by Nadine Macaluso

Change your present and seize your exceptional future by escaping your painful trauma bond, healing, and thriving! At age twenty-two, Nadine married Jordan Belfort, the nefarious stockbroker portrayed in the Hollywood blockbuster The Wolf of Wall Street . Their marriage began as a fairy tale, but once they were bonded, Jordan’s “mask” began to slip, and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine’s nightmare. The horrific relationship gave Nadine the inspiration to become a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, and complex PTSD. Her private practice quickly flooded with women recounting an all-too-familiar story of abuse with a pathological partner. Perhaps this scenario resonates with you. In Run Like Hell , Nadine brings you her personal experience and years of expertise to explain • the mental health of the narcissistic pathological lover (PL),
• the traits of women who are the perfect “victims” of these PLs,
• how you can leave a trauma bond safely, and
• how you can heal. Nadine also shows how you and other women can be surthrivers of these trauma bonds and go on to have healthy, positive relationships and lives, armed with knowledge and awareness. So Run Like Hell from damaging trauma bonds and live with awareness, practice self-love and care, and thrive, regardless of your past.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Audiobook, Psychology, Relationships

256 pages, Hardcover

Published January 9, 2024

About the author

Dr. Nadine Macaluso is a psychotherapist, author, internet personality, and former model. She is known for her marriage to the stockbroker and financial criminal Jordan Belfort. Throughout her marriage, she was referred to in the press as the "Duchess of Bay Ridge."

Reviews

[Michele]

I feel deceived by this author's interview on public TV, just to get sales. I searched it on GoodReads to read reviews, in order to decide it I might purchase it for my son.

I just heard the author speak on GMA3, and she focused on the narcissistic personality. EVERYTHING she said immediately reminded me of all the things that I have said to my wonderful son who got manipulated into a relationship with a histrionic, narcissistic young woman. HIS traits are the "nice, conscientious" qualities that the author and everyone (except 1 person) reviewing this book seem to accept as applying only to women. I've known many men living with this type of insanity and don't know how to get out without more drama and trauma.

I even said to my daughter a couple years ago, he (my son who is 34 years old) needs to "run like hell" (title of this book); HOW does she keep manipulating him? Because even though he is very intelligent, he is too kind.

[Deborah Slaughter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unfortunately, I needed this. I’m already separated from my narcissistic ex husband/abuser but the trauma bond is very strong. I am reading and listening to many books to gain understanding, attempt to heal from what I’ve been through and am currently experiencing, and also to remind myself of the reality of the situation instead of what I wish it was. I have to remember that he won’t change and that the mask is only a mask he’s showing in order to attempt to Hoover me. This book was very helpful and validating. My guess is that if you’re here and considering reading this for your own healing or for someone you love, then you obviously need this and should definitely read it.

[Marissa Baumgartner · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone who has ever been in or is currently in a toxic relationship.Things I have felt, said, and tried desperately to explain are all here. This book helped me to understand the psychology behind my toxic relationship, which has been so beneficial to my healing. Thank you Nadine!!

[W.A. Ashes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really decent book and I think it would be great for someone in a trauma bond. It helped me recognize some red flags in my own relationships.

[Sylvia · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Run Like Hell" by Nadine Macaluso is an insightful and practical guide that addresses the complex dynamics of trauma bonds. The book stands out for its compassionate approach, combining expert knowledge with real-world applications to help individuals recognize, escape, and heal from these challenging emotional connections.

One commendable aspect of the book is Nadine Macaluso's empathetic and knowledgeable approach to trauma bonds. The author, drawing on her expertise as a therapist, provides a comprehensive understanding of the psychological and emotional aspects of trauma bonds. The incorporation of real-life examples and case studies enhances the book's accessibility, making it relatable for readers navigating such relationships.

Macaluso's writing style is clear and accessible, allowing readers to grasp the complexities of trauma bonds without overwhelming jargon. The book's organized structure guides readers through the recognition, escape, and healing processes, providing a practical roadmap for those seeking to break free from toxic connections. The incorporation of therapeutic techniques and coping strategies adds a valuable layer to the book, making it a valuable resource for individuals in need of practical guidance.

However, some readers may find the content emotionally challenging, particularly if they have personal experiences with trauma bonds. While the book aims to provide support and guidance, potential readers should be aware of the emotional depth of the subject matter.

In conclusion, "Run Like Hell" is a valuable resource for individuals seeking to understand and navigate trauma bonds. Nadine Macaluso's expertise, combined with a compassionate approach, makes the book an insightful and practical guide for recognizing, escaping, and healing from these complex emotional entanglements. While the emotional intensity may be challenging for some readers, the overall impact of the book lies in its potential to empower individuals to break free from harmful patterns and foster healing.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Run Like Hell drew me in immediately peaked my interest with the tagline “A Therapist's Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds” and my interest peaked when I realized the authors live was also portrayed in the movie The Wolf of Wall Street.

The book is well organized by three sections (dangerously in love, trauma bond free, and the wisdom of the wound) and Nadine did a great job of using real life examples from clients / women she’s met, in addition to her own history, to articulate what abusive relationships with pathological people are, what they look like/feel, how and why they start, etc. As someone that was in a domestic violence relationship, her words and the stories really resonated with me, and were helpful to hear.

I’ve read a lot about trauma, sociopaths, narcissists, the dark triad, abusive relationships and I’ve also been through a few therapists, so from this perspective, I didn’t love all of the terms Nadine used. But of course consequently, some of the terms she used and way she spoke and explained trauma bonds, and domestic violence was absolutely fantastic and made me feel so grateful for how she explained and articulated my own experience.

I think the book could be helpful for so many people (women especially) - both those still in their trauma bond / abusive relationship, and those that have already left. And it’s written in an easy to understand way that I think even those new to counselling/ therapy could understand and appreciate.

Overall, I would say it’s an inspirational book and has a positive message filled with hope for a better life and future.

The audiobook itself was read by the author and I thought she did a good job, but just want to warn other audiobook readers that its not as polished and “perfect” as some audiobooks, but it felt authentic and I love that she read it.

4.5 stars rounded up.

Thank you to Greenleaf Audiobooks, Greenleaf Book Group Press, Nadine Macaluso and NetGalley for the audio arc to listen. All thoughts are mine.

[Mary Ellen Coogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a revelation! I started reading it due to curiosity about the wife’s perspective regarding her (former) husband’s account of their marriage and his shenanigans as The Wolf of Wall Street. My experience is that many men loved the movie, about a wildly successful man and his ribald adventures, while women weren’t so impressed. This author presents the opposite, a human perspective. Her work here will help so many people who are in a trauma bond and don’t know it. She gives concrete and doable suggestions about healing from the abuse suffered when entangled and trapped in such a bond. I especially appreciate her dim view of the term “codependent” as this term often adds further stigma and more shame on a victim of what, in the author’s words, should correctly be seen as the chronic suffering known as Complex PTSD. Amen to that! Many suffering through a trauma bond are repeatedly put in a position of questioning their own reality. Often the distorted thinking of their partner is to blame for making the victim feel crazy. It’s difficult to identify when you are in it and are convinced the awful, tortured way you feel is the price of love. This book powerfully shows how to see things as they are, not how an abusive partner demands that you see things. Wrong thinking is contagious. The excitement of a trauma bond is addictive. This book offers ways to get out of the funhouse maze of a bad relationship. Nadine Macaluso has lived through humiliation and has learned from it. Her intelligence and wisdom, gained through experience, as well as her education, and dedication to listening to clients for decades, offers a new way of seeing. This book is truly eye-opening! I am thankful for her unique insights. I know this book will help many who currently suffer to have courage to start over with a new clear-eyed perspective on how beautiful and stabilizing a healthy love can be.

[Crimson Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, NetGalley for an advanced ARC of the audiobook of this book.

Firstly this book is written by the ex-wife of the man who was the wolf of Wall Street (most people know about him from the film with Leonardo DiCaprio) & who is a trained therapist of toxic & Narcissistic relationships

I was. Surprised when I heard her say this but also happy to know that we were going to hear her story from her since she also Narrates the Audiobook (yes there are inconsistencies with her narrating - but also remember she is not a trained Voice actor or narrator but she wanted to add more volume and importance to her book by doing it herself).

What we learn in this book is about trauma bonding but we are first given 3 examples of ladies who are going through this exact thing so you can see through their stories more of events that have happened (then she explains, guides and this way shows u the meaning more clearly then just explaining the different stages and types of trauma bonding and Narcissists/ toxic people). She gives all this to you in an easily digestible way that's not too heavy or overbearing but a comforting way (this had me feel at ease and enjoy the book - because I was in an abusive relationship where I suffered emotional and mental abuse, but over time I have born educating myself to help free me from the bonds that tied me).

We also hear her talk about her own story and how she went from victim to survivor and thriving in who she is now, I found to be a very powerful story to be told.

I found this book good and helpful and I will be buying a physical copy of this book

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

In dr naes own words from her fav psychologist in this book ‘ if you can name it you can tame it’ in my point of view and reflection upon my own experiences : behind Nadine’s words I can see the true agony and soul torment and diffusion of self and self worth that she and all us victims of pathological abuse have experienced , never have I seen all the formats of psychological abuse met with resilience and accurate diagnoses and countering mechanisms all cohesively condensed into one book. This book made me feel validated and equipped to not only deal with my situation but to never fall back into one again. From discussing the manipulation tactics from gaslighting to smear campaigning to DRAVO to abuse upon confrontation to recognizing and validating and empathizing with the tragic side effects such as cognitive dissonance , abandonment of authentic self , poor self esteem to more environmental ones like your home or room looking like a bomb went off in them as a result of the dopamine deficiency Nadine discusses . She perfectly understands the depressive side effects of cptsd combined with both the positive and negative flashbacks and fear immobilization caused by the hinderment of executive function caused by the both the neuro chemical imbalance and physical and emotional exhaustion describing how truly a victim becomes the shell of who they were and doubts not only themselves but everything around them. She captures the true horror of being afraid in your own mind and the feeling of thinking you are stuck in a rotting state of nothingness and addresses how to reduce cognitive dissonance over time. she perfectly captures the emotional and backs it up with scientifically studies based on stats and brain scans combined with her expertise having helped many women safely escape their trauma bonds and I can hear in her voice how sentimental and passionate she is over her clients and other women and I can see how sincere her intention is to bring her life work to the collective society to free others from what she once bravely endured and now clearly thrives from by equipping them with very effective tools that are backed up by her years of professional dedication.I think Nadine is not just an admirable therapist but woman and I can’t wait to use her findings in my own work as a future psychologist. See you on the other side of this Nadine , I finally feel seen like I have a person by my side rooting for me that has demonstrated my potential. This is a must not just for people that have been in traumatic relationships but in my opinion for everyone in order to be well equipped to run like hell when they need to. Phenomenal read.

[J Kromrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this eARC in audiobook format.

Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds by Nadine Macaluso, narrated by the author herself, is a deeply insightful and empowering audiobook that addresses the complex and often painful topic of trauma bonds. Drawing from her personal experiences and professional expertise, Macaluso provides a comprehensive guide for those seeking to understand, break free from, and heal from toxic relationships.

The audiobook is structured around the concept of trauma bonds, which are intense emotional attachments formed with abusive or manipulative partners. Macaluso’s narration adds a personal and authentic touch, making the content feel both relatable and impactful. Her calm and reassuring voice guides listeners through the intricacies of identifying and escaping these harmful bonds, offering practical advice and emotional support along the way.

This audiobook excels in its blend of personal anecdotes and clinical insights. Macaluso shares her own journey of overcoming a traumatic relationship, which adds a layer of credibility and empathy to her guidance. This personal touch makes the advice more tangible and inspiring, as listeners can see the possibility of transformation and healing through her story.

The book is divided into clear, manageable sections that cover the mental health aspects of dealing with narcissistic partners, the traits that make individuals susceptible to trauma bonds, and the steps necessary to safely leave such relationships. Macaluso also provides strategies for healing and rebuilding one’s life post-trauma, emphasizing the importance of self-love, awareness, and resilience.

Macaluso’s expertise as a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD shines through in her detailed explanations and practical exercises. She offers a variety of tools and techniques to help listeners navigate their emotions, set boundaries, and reclaim their sense of self. The audiobook’s interactive elements, such as reflective questions and guided exercises, make it a valuable resource for anyone on a healing journey.

Run Like Hell is not just a guide to escaping toxic relationships; it’s a beacon of hope for those who feel trapped and powerless.

[Kassie Rankin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book by following the author on social media, where I heard about her studies, her life, and her time married to the ‘Wolf of Wall Street.’
This was definitely a heavier read, based on the content. You will hear/read about narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, complex PTSD, and more. I enjoyed hearing about her story, as well as the stories of women that she has worked with.

Some things I enjoyed:
The author reads the book. Hearing her own story and stories of women she has worked with through her own voice really gives a great perspective on what she and these women have gone through. I will add that this is not a “perfect” audiobook; there are moments where she repeats herself or goes back over her words.
The book shares specific stories and examples.
The book gives advice for those in similar situations.
What I did not enjoy:
I don’t love that she shares the names of the people that she worked with. While it is only first names, it was just something I wish she had chosen not to do.
There were LOTS of acronyms. I definitely had to go back and figure out a lot of them throughout the book.

Thank you to Greenleaf Audiobooks, Greenleaf Book Group Press, Dr. Nadie Macaluso, and NetGalley for an audio ARC of this book.

[Elizabeth Edwards · Rating 3 out of 5]

i was not a fan. i won this in a Goodreads giveaway. came out Jan 9, 2024. self-help for abuse. marriage & long term relationships. dysfunctional relationships. i think the way it was written was kind of pushy ... not helpful ...but i think you have to take all books with a grain of salt as they say. if it works for you ...helps. assists your walk in life ... your past ... then use it ... thankfully i have never dealt with this kind of situation. but i think u need to get help from your religious helpers, friends, and family, u have to have that help, support and love. i don't think you should ever place all your eggs in one basket ... so to speak ... u need to do it all ... find what works for you ... helps you health and all that. be open to change. if this works for you ...i will not knock it. too each his/her own. take care all the best.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Run Like Hell chronicles Macaluso’s experiences being married to – and living with – a narcissist who was also a drug abuser, but as he was so well known, it was not really seen by others, leaving her feeling even more isolated. Her experiences living in that situation led her to seek out more information, which inspired her to become a psychotherapist specializing in breaking trauma bonds.

There’s a lot of good information in here to help you recognize the signs, and then to help overcome those trauma bonds. It’s a really interesting self-help book that can teach the reader a lot.

My thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher and author for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Clarke · Rating 1 out of 5]

"Narcissistic abuse" isn't a thing. It's just emotional abuse. You wouldn't say "autistic abuse" or "histrionic abuse." Calling it narcissistic abuse adds to the stigma that people with NPD experience, that they're all abusive monsters. The fact is, NPD is more often than not a result of childhood trauma and alienating "narcissists" with ableist language does nothing to stop or prevent abuse overall. It's sad that a supposed medical professional would buy in to this pop psychology fad. People with NPD who have been victims of abuse have zero resources because they are demonized in every single text on abusive relationships. What are they to do? Where are their resources? Where are they supposed to turn?

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I've read a lot of psychology books on different stuff and this is the first one that offers some healing and recovery techniques. She breaks everything down into categories, including the different cycles a person goes through. I appreciate this author so much for taking the time to write this book. It's written so well and would help anyone. Even if not going through this, it's still good to be educated. This should be a mandatory read for all high school and college kids.

Even better, I love that the author took the time to narrate the audiobook. It's wonderful! I couldn't get enough and it never got boring at all. Very concise with many examples and explanations.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author and the publisher

[Mystery · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway.

Run like Hell is a comprehensive book on trauma resulting from intimate partner violence and how to get out of it. The book was well organized and the author clearly states how the book is going to flow taking the reader step-by-step through the various points of why and how women get into relationships with pathological liars and how to get out of and keep away from such toxic men, including identifying future PL. Dr. Nae was very sympathetic and understanding in how she addresses victims in such situations and lays out additional resources at the end as well. I was very enlightened to say the least.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came into my life at the absolute perfect time since I just left a trauma bond relationship. This book shed light on so many different topics such as women’s personality traits that tend to attract men with personality disorders and how to heal after the relationship ends. I really appreciated reading this book and made me more knowledgeable about everything I just experienced and how to apply more self care into my daily routine to help with the healing process. Highly recommend to anyone who has experienced a trauma bond relationship or is currently in one.

[Mikala · Rating 1 out of 5]

First, this is targeted only to cis, heterosexual women who view themselves as victims of domestic abuse. It is such a narrowly focused audience, that I couldn't engage with the material. There are a lot of DSM abbreviations and technical definitions used throughout the book which added to the confusion.
There are a lot of debunked historical "facts" and a lot of prejudice against some professions which the author views as good for abuse perpetrators. As a salesperson, I was extremely offended by many of these statements.

[Jodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This assists in the healing from someone you thought you had a great relationship that opens the curtains in order to see who you are bonded too and the person using you. Truly I had no idea how trauma bonded I was by all the people around me. I thought I was “healing” from one narcissist. However, my life was constantly navigating trauma bond ninjas. This book has all the tools to navigate the love bombers and green monsters. Very well written. Truly, this is ocular proof that trauma bonds can be broken. The author herself, is living testimony to her own successful healing journey.

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley for the advance audiobook copy of Run Like Hell by Nadine Macaluso in exchange for an honest review. This is not a book you can just speed read through. If you are reading this for personal reasons, you want to take your time and go at your own pace. I've already recommended this book to a friend in an abusive relationship and hopefully it'll help. This is a tough subject to talk about and unfortunately there are not enough resources or laws to help and protect those in abusive relationships.

[Kenyata Fletcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book. The stories and explanations were detailed and spot on. As a therapist I feel like this book exposed me to more of the personality disorders from a different angle. I have already suggested it to a friend. So far all I can say is that I can't get enough of this read. I also saw some of my former partners, from my younger years, that I ended things with because of some of these various conversations explored. Run like hell... is a great suggestion for all the stuff that anyone who connects with or see themselves going through!!!

[Laura Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review for Run Like Hell

I liked how the author explained the Traumatized Bond Relationship in such simple yet complete details so that the reader could understand and make their own choices, have tools, and get help.

As someone who has survived and left a TBR, I understand it on a much deeper level and no longer feel shame, regret, or resentment.

This book is just the right length.

[Anna T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Järjekordne näide, kus raamatu nimi ja kaanepilt jätavad mulje odavast eneseabiraamatust, kuigi sisu on sellisel tasemel, et lugeda tasuks igal terapeudil (ja loomulikult ka kõigil neil, kes kannatavad lähisuhtevägivalla all, aga neile soovitaks ma esimese asjana alati hoopis Lundy Bancroft'i raamatuid).

[Rachel Fisher · Rating 4 out of 5]

great resource

This book is a great resource for anyone who has been or is currently in a traumatic and/or abusive relationship. I knew I wanted to read it after I saw the author on the Juicy Scoop podcast with Heather McDonald!

[Jane Perron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely an interesting book if you have a history of abusive relationships and trauma. Learning to trust yourself is so important and this book helps you see what to look for and avoid in future relationships.

[Aminda Gailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's interesting to listen to the book especially when you have been through a relationship that is toxic. I wish that there as a book back in the day that put it into layman's terms, which is exactly what Nadine did.

Thank you #NetGalley for the advance listen

[Vanessa Reiser · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is fundamental reading for anyone that has gone through narcissistic abuse and develops a trauma bond, which is treacherous to undo. Dr. Nadine's work is so needed and I am grateful for her expertise in this field.

[Barbara Hitching · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nadine had some excellent material.
I listened to this book - and so at times I had to set it aside as it was quite raw and often bitter in tone. For those who have experienced such trauma, it may be triggering.

[Shan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best book to read in recovery. Why Does He Do That felt like I was re-traumatizing myself, just repeating the pattern of focusing on him over and over. Run Like Hell will likely be a repeat read, very surthriver focused.

[Julie Simons · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was professionally written, based on both personal experience & clinical knowledge. I had not heard about the personality types susceptible to pathological lovers so that was especially useful.