Emo Reality: The Biography of Teenage Borderline Personality Disorder

by Jerold Daniels

When Lina’s idyllic childhood descends into mental chaos in her teenage years, Lina resorts to recording her thoughts in diaries, online chats, and emails to make sense of her anguish. Through Lina’s heart-wrenching words, the listener steps into her broken inner world to experience firsthand the obsessions, irrationality, angst, and ruthlessness of teenage borderline personality disorder.

Emo Reality shines a light into the dark corners of adolescent mental illness, proving this disorder is not just a phase and demonstrating its ravages not just upon an individual, but also upon a whole family.

“This unflinching novel-as-memoir, drawn from the experiences of the author’s daughter, explores the experience of a girl with borderline personality disorder. Through fictionalized diary entries, online posts, and emails, the account is told in vivid detail as Lina contends with the thoughts consuming her.... Wrenching in its candidness, Lina’s story is a stark exploration of mental illness, undiagnosed and unchecked. Readers will become immersed in Lina’s reflections and understand what it is like for an individual and a family facing borderline personality disorder.” (Publisher’s Weekly Booklife)

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Mental Illness

Audiobook

First published July 28, 2023

About the author

The author became lonely when the young women he loved and cared for were taken away by mental illness, to say nothing of how their disorders affected their lives and happiness. Eventually they came to acknowledge there’s something wrong in their mind, but not that their memories or feelings are wrong. It humbles the author to know that the women to whom he once dedicated his life came to hate him in return.

Reviews

[Esme · Rating 3 out of 5]

I want to start this review off saying that I am someone who suffers from a variety of mental illnesses including BPD. I was excited to read this since BPD isn't something that's represented very much in books. I just felt like it was lacking something. I feel like this could have been a lot better. I wish the style of the book was different. Either written in the Dad's POV or as only Diary entries would have elevated the book a bit more in my opinion.

I can appreciate this book for what it is. its a memoir about the authors daughter so it makes it hard to give this a proper rating. Overall 3 ⭐

Thank you to Netgalley for an Arc in exchange for an honest review! :)

[Yamini · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very very difficult! As a reader, I felt this and I am not sure how difficult would it have been for the writer. It's a memoir of a person who dealing with a personality disorder, all the while having no clue about it.

Taking you through the life of a teenage girl and the choices she made. A journey of chaotic brain health, further leading to anger issues, self-harm and much more. Throughout the story, I felt too bad for the father who was just trying to help his family in the only way he knew how. While for others I just couldn't help but have mixed feelings.

So many of the symptoms discussed in the book have been witnessed forehand in people around us. But the lack of awareness about it makes us ignore it and label those actions as bad behaviour and rebellious attitude. If only, enough of them are identified and treated at the right moment in life, they could be saved from such misery.

The book has made me sad, but also aware of so many concepts. Consuming this one in #audiobook format, I had the experience of music, songs and all that yelling. It was heavy and difficult to go through a lot of parts of the book. If my fellow readers really want to try this - I would say go through the disclaimers once.

Thankyou @netgalley for the Audiobook ARC

Genre: #memoir #biographies #health #mindandbody
Content disclaimers: #trauma #selfharm #halucinations #mentaldisorders and a few more things I don't feel comfortable writing

[♡Heather✩Brown♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Emo Reality" serves as a powerful illumination of the dark corners of adolescent mental illness, dispelling misconceptions and highlighting the profound impact it can have on both the individual and their loved ones. Lina's struggles reverberate beyond her own psyche, affecting her family and those around her. The narrative underscores that mental disorders are not simply phases or passing struggles, but genuine challenges that demand empathy, understanding, and proper treatment.

Lina's complex relationship with her sister serves as a poignant illustration of the dichotomy between external success and internal turmoil. Despite possessing material possessions, experiences, and opportunities, the sisters grapple with the weight of their emotional burdens, showcasing how mental illness can infiltrate every aspect of one's life.

This story poignantly captures the journey of self-discovery, healing, and recovery. Lina's path towards understanding her condition, seeking therapy, and confronting her past provides a glimmer of hope amid the darkness. Jerold Daniels masterfully weaves a narrative that fosters empathy, educates, and sheds light on the profound impact of mental illness, making it an essential read for those seeking a deeper understanding of the human psyche and the enduring power of resilience.

I received an ARC of this book; all thoughts are my own. Many thanks #NetGalley

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC audiobook provided in exchange for an honest review.

The narration on this book for the character perfectly! I also enjoyed the voices and accents she had for her parents! The story reads a lot like a teenage girls diary, that has quite a lot of emotional distress. It was pretty obvious to me right away that it was trauma she was experiencing, not exactly what was going on around her. It was a very interesting story and I like how she found the answers for how she was feeling later on in life. I’m definitely going to have my daughter check out this book!

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

**Edited** I had the opportunity to speak with the author of this novel, and after discussion with him and the description of the author's note being added to the audiobook, I have updated my review to the following:

This is a story about Lina, a daughter to a British engineer and Filipino mother, who, due to work requirements, travel across the world and live in many different locations over her youth. As a young child Lina is charismatic and intelligent, with her moods being mainly bothersome to herself (not noticeable to her parents and sister). But as she grows up and enters her teenage years, her mood swing and personality begin to change, until finally in her twenties she seeks out help, and is diagnosed with border-line personality disorder.

The book is written by Lina's father, but in the first person of Lina. This makes for an interesting read because the events, emotions, and feelings described by Lina are being taken from her diaries and emails, directly from Lina herself. Her statements in the novel are incredibly full of emotion, so the reader has a true understanding of what was going on with Lina herself.

I did appreciate this book though, because there is little information, or attention given to borderline personality disorder, and from someone that has interest in the different diagnoses in mental health, I found the differentiation between the common diagnoses interesting.

The audiobook was narrated by a girl that sounded to be young, which made it fitting for the majority of the book. The narrator was clear and easy to read and did a good job on the different accents/voices, as needed.

I think this is an interesting read for the right audience, and it is a good start to getting more knowledge about mental health and borderline personality disorder out there. So I would recommend to those that are interested in these topics.

Overall I really believe this and books like it are important for the information surrounding mental health to be more attainable, and more well-known to the general public, and thank the author immensely for taking the time to sift through all of the information, and write this novel!

[Rachael · Rating 2 out of 5]

A Tricky Attempt at Awareness

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I want to share my thoughts on the audiobook 'Emo Reality: The Biography of Teenage Borderline Personality Disorder' by Jerold Daniels, narrated by Alex Swan. This book is a bit confusing for me to talk about because my feelings are pretty strong, and they might not match what others think. The author seems to want to tell people about borderline personality disorder (BPD), but the way it's done feels oversimplified. It focuses on a case study that's hard to sympathize with.

At the start, I was a bit lost because I thought this would be a memoir from the author's view. But it's actually written as if it's from the author's daughter's point of view, using records and diary entries. This makes it hard to tell how true the writing is. I also wonder if the father's opinions are influencing the story. It's tough to connect with Lina because I don't know if her voice is genuine.

One issue is that the person narrating the audiobook doesn't come across as believable. She talks about her tough life, but she grew up with lots of privileges like music lessons, trips, and fancy schools. It's hard to take her seriously when she complains about her life compared to real struggles. Also, she does fake accents, which felt inappropriate and stereotypical.

Another problem is the use of insensitive words like "retard." There's a passage that could've been phrased differently to avoid this. Lina, the main character, had many chances given to her by her dad and teachers, but she didn't appreciate them. This made it hard to feel sorry for her.

There's a bit of redemption at the end when Lina seeks help and talks about false memories. But there isn't enough explanation about these false memories and how they relate to BPD. This could've been explored more.

Overall, I don't think Lina's story is the best way to understand BPD. Her complaining, self-centeredness, and wasted opportunities make it tough to empathize with her, even if they're symptoms of the disorder. The only part that worked for me was when she talked to the psychiatrist at the end.

I would like to express my gratitude to NetGalley and the author for providing me with the opportunity to read this early. Please note that these are solely my own thoughts and opinions.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. I wanted to read it because a person I am close to has gone through many psychiatric issues. The story feels very authentic, and the reader feels the raw, visceral emotions Lina experiences. It is stark and devastating in its descriptions of the anger, desperation, and isolation she endures. My only negative critique is that it is too much of precisely the same emotions, thoughts, and diary entries. This is perhaps intentional to show the depth and extent of the torment Lina experienced; however, this reader thought it became tedious.
This book is an extremely significant entry into books about mental health. It is a story, not a textbook, and thus brings the enormity of the psychiatric situation to bear upon the reader. People need so much more education about mental health before society will become empathetic and charitable toward others with psychiatric illnesses.
Thank you to Net Galley and Singapress for the ARC of this book.

[Stephanie Low · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a binge-worthy deep-dive into what it is like for a young lady and her family to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). As a mental health therapist, I found the mental health representation to be very accurate and insightful. Readers might find that the narrative/plot gets a bit repetitive in the middle, but that is genuinely what it is like living with someone who has BPD. The author did a great job of crafting an interesting narrative based on a real family's lived experience, and ended with valuable information on how this lady got diagnosed and treated for BPD. The ending offers hope for those living with emotional instability. I know my review sounds very clinical, but I assure you, the story is very digestible and entertaining!!!

[Laurel Perez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written by Lina's father but in the first person of Lina, the conceit is that this is autobiographical but takes a lot of liberties, I assume for privacy, etc. The novel is written from the perspective of Lina, her father turning her thoughts and words into a story. This allows for an intimate glimpse into Lina's inner workings and emotions that were previously only available through private diaries and emails. The reader gets to experience the full range of feelings as well as gain insight into what it is like to live with BPD and all its associated difficulties. This was a difficult read, and the POV felt off, but that may be due to her Daniels trying to access the mind of Lina. Overall, this book definitely a perspective we have not had a lot of in contemporary literature, so it's important to read in that respect.
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest feedback.

[Innie_JohanaD · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an ARC audiobook of Emo Reality in exchange of an honest review.

Let's be honest, this was not a pleasant read (well, it's not meant to be).
I'm really not comfortable writing a review about a memoir and I'm feeling like "who am I to criticized the life experience of someone else", but here we are...

I'm just gonna say that I wished it would have been written differently ; not in the first person, not through Lina's POV. To me it was a terrible mistake.
It felt very awkward, sometimes borderline cringey, to know it was the father speaking through his daughter, maybe putting words into her mouth for all I knew.
I couldn't stop thinking I was reading a young girl's testimony but it was actually her father's point of view, a little too convenient, too prompt to blame everyone (the ex-wife, the school system etc.) but himself.
(I'm not saying the author IS to blame for anything, I'm just saying his choice of narration was really not adapted to what he was trying to convey and unfortunately it gave the wrong impression).

I read the afterword too, a few days after finishing the book. I went into it with the hope it would change my perception of the whole thing, and give a reasonable explanation for this choice of narration, but it actually didn't. (It just detailed the endorsement by a therapist who encouraged the author to publish his memoir).

I really wish the author would rewrite his work, and make it a real memoir, where he would be speaking for himself, giving his experience. It would not diminished the impact of his daughter's story in my opinion.

I would also like to know where his daughters stand on the matter of their father writing about them (I know I would have been furious, and I would have felt violated).
Did they have the opportunity to give their own POVs? Did they participate at all in the process? It feels important that they would have a say in this, and it feels important to inform the reader about that issue.

Now that I have said that, I also have to mention this was a poignant read, an important testimony about mental health issues in children and teenagers. A reminder that wealth doesn't always mean happiness and a good support system.

So by all means, read this book if you want to know more about borderline disorder and mental health in general, because it was informative.
But be warned, it's difficult, and in my opinion clumsily written.

[Giselle! · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5 stars rounded down.

Disclaimer: I have personal, real-life experience with BPD that I won’t be going into further details about.

Point 1: Confusing writing timeline

The author (Lina/Lina’s dad) often says things like “made her depressed” and “was acting bipolar.” But this is supposed to have been written in present day while Lina is already aware of her mental illness and theoretically better educated on mental illnesses in general. I’m gathering this from the many hindsight comments about false memories that determine “I had a false memory of THAT, but THIS was the reality.” I just feel like she/her dad should know better than to say flippant things like that, or at least know to edit them out.

The description of this book and its Author’s Note assert that this book is taken straight from Lina’s IRL journal entries. So I assumed these entries were written around the time of the events they describe. But there are several times when Lina inserts her young adult thoughts to describe how they’re different from her teenage thoughts. So then I assumed she (and her dad) reread her teenage journal entries and added additional/ updated context in line with her experience now as a young adult. But then it started to seem more like all of this was written “now” when Lina’s a young adult. Which makes it more of a memoir than a journal. It also means her descriptions of her emotions are memories and assumptions based on behavioral patterns, not the raw emotions she felt in the moment.

Update on this point: In the Afterword, we learn that a “retired psychiatrist, social worker, and human rights activist” who’s a “friend and mentor” of Lina’s dad suggested that he use Lina’s “perspective” both from the time of the original journal entries he’s adapting and from Lina “as somebody older and perhaps wiser today.” This means that none of these reflections actually come from Lina and he’s actually putting words in her mouth. I’m genuinely appalled by how misleading this is to us and how disrespectful it is to Lina. This definitely bumped my rating down.

Point 2: Accuracy in BPD representation

This reads more like a stream of consciousness than like a book, or even a novel. These thoughts are pretty typical for a preteen/teenager who’s not diagnosed, not treated, and not medicated — specifically because preteens/teenagers have little life experience and very skewed perceptions of the world. Your regular teenage angst mixed with untreated mental illnesses will result in heavily unregulated thoughts and emotions.

HOWEVER, these thoughts wouldn’t be typical for a young adult, much less for a grown adult, with BPD, even if untreated. Because adults think and behave differently than kids. Adults have real-world consequences to deal with as a result of impulsive actions. As such, adults with BPD aren’t so… melodramatic, for lack of a better word. Adult BPD typically manifests more in fear of abandonment and loss of self. Whereas preteen/teenage BPD, as demonstrated in this book, manifests more in self-hatred and splitting (black and white thinking with uncontrollable mood swings from one extreme to another) on everyone and everything around them.

I don’t like the idea that people looking to be educated about BPD will read this and think that this is how BPD is across the board in any stage of life. Reading Lina’s point of view (well, her father’s version of her POV) can help you understand a very young person’s thoughts while they suffer with BPD, but it won’t help quite as much in understanding an adult with BPD.

It may even be a little bit irresponsible to publish something like this to the general public in a society that largely stigmatizes mental illnesses, especially lesser-known disorders. Someone who has no other education on the topic may read these constant descriptions of violence and hatred, and come to the wrong conclusions. It’d be easy to think that Lina’s intrusive thoughts were her only thoughts during this period in her life because that’s what this book harps on. But that’s not reality.

Lina’s insistence on moving to Hollywood to be discovered because she’s suddenly dead-set on becoming rich and famous is implied to be a symptom of her BPD. If anything, it’s a symptom of being a teenager. Having a lofty goal and a one-track mind when it comes to that goal is so typical of a teenager who doesn’t yet understand how the world works. BPD might push that mentality with its trademark black-and-white thinking, but it’s not a trait of BPD to be ignorant about what you can and can’t achieve, nor to treat everyone poorly who won’t help you inevitably fail at this goal.

Point 3: Neutrality

As for the neutrality that the author says he practiced while writing/putting together this book, I don’t see it. Every time Lina mentions hating her dad or being mad at him for whatever (both valid and invalid) reason, she also asserts that he’s a good man who loves her and is just trying to give her the best life. She was the problem, never her dad. On the other hand, every time Lina mentions her mom, she asserts that her mom pitted the whole family against one another and that caused a lot of their familial problems. I don’t see much neutrality in “Dad good Mom bad” when this book is written by the father in question. Dad’s actions are always justified, but Mom’s just a snake.

Toward the end of the book, when Lina sees a psychiatrist about getting her BPD diagnosis, they tell her that people with tattoos and piercings are scientifically proven to be mentally disturbed. Lina told her that’s outdated research and the culture and stigma around the two are changing. Then they “agreed to disagree.” If a psychiatrist really said that, that’s problematic as hell. But what a coincidence that Lina’s father hates body modifications so much that he kicked Lina’s sister out of his house when she refused to cover up her tattoos. I’m more inclined to believe that this was made up (or at least exaggerated) to support his opinion than to believe that a working psychiatrist believes that body mods = mental instability across the board.

Similarly, the psychiatrist agreeing with Lina’s assessment that her mother and grandmother had “mild borderline personality disorder” because they had mood swings but “finished college, had long marriages, and raised families” is wild. The juxtaposition of these two things is irresponsible.

Point 4: Improvements (IMO)

It would’ve been very interesting if this were written in Lina’s dad’s first-person POV, followed by Lina’s raw journal entry about the same day or topic. That way, we get two opinions about the same situations. It would’ve been easier to connect thinking that’s (to severely oversimplify things) rational vs. irrational than to come to my own conclusions about what the “real story” was in order to figure out just how grounded her thoughts are.

Additional jumbled thoughts:
* The amount of several-thousand-dollar business deals these children are getting can’t possibly be true???
* Lina’s sister calling their parents Mommy and Daddy well into her 20s isn’t very believable and continuously took me out of the story.
* I can’t stop thinking about how Lina’s dad spoke for her in the “that was a false memory, but this is the truth” statements in a way that’s so beyond inconsiderate and deceitful.

[Katrisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a parent of a (now adult) person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) so I was really looking forward to this book. Especially knowing that it was based on the experiences of the author with his daughter. I know firsthand how hard this mental health issue is for everyone involved. I have been there with the extreme mood swings and the rage attacks that make you feel like your child has literally been possessed.
Having said that, I was disappointed in this book. If I wasn’t reading an advance copy with a promise of a review I might not have finished it. I talked to the author who assures me that the diary entries are literally condensed versions of actual journal entries. I think it would have come across better written from the dad's point of view with included journal information. I think that is what bothered me about it. Like there are multiple times in the book where Lina's false memories are pointed out. And as anyone who has lived with someone with BPD you know those absolutely happen, but I think it would have been more effective if it had been written from the parent's POV because a lot of that leaks through anyway.
The truth about BPD is that it is extremely taxing for everyone involved. It is so hard to create healthy boundaries. It is painful to see your child suffer. And it is painful to be attacked when you are just trying to do the best you can for your child. People with BPD feel ALL their emotions in overdrive. So it’s not just super sad or super angry - at times it’s also super happy, super in love, super generous. Teenage angst and moodiness are already difficult - when you add this particular mental illness on top of it it makes for really rough teenage and young adult years. I guess one of good thing this book says is that they should have sought help earlier from a mental health professional. And I liked that they give the criteria for diagnosing the disorder in the book as it may help others to recognize BPD

Thank you to Netgalley and Singapress for an advance listening copy of this book in an exchange for a review.

[Joellen Laws · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tricky one to review! I really liked the way this book was written. Straight to the point, short sharp sentences, the songs and diary entries and conversations, but I do feel that there was a lot of detail in things that didn’t really need it, and other things I’d have loved to know more about were skimmed over.
In my original review I wrote that knowing it was written by her dad made me question the ‘accuracy/authenticity’ of some of it which was badly worded on my part - I meant more that parts of this felt bias in favour of the dad due to some of the details that were included, in extreme contrast to Lina’s relationship with her mum, but I do believe this is just an accurate re-telling and would be difficult to avoid sounding this way.
It had me hooked from the start though, and was a really interesting and emotional read - something completely different to anything I’ve read before.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy.

[Tracy Bui · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. This book was a journey. This book is a fictional memoir based on the author's daughter. It follows the mind and mental health spiral of Lina as she grows from adolescent to young adult to adult. Growing up in a dysfunctional household with her often physically and mentally distant father, her mother who speaks terrible English, and her sister who just can't seem to stay on her side for long. Lina's personalities continuously multiply while her diagnosis keeps being misinformed.

As for the audiobook, the narrator was perfect because although her voice was kind of annoying it was perfect for that of an angsty teenager.

The book itself was a very difficult book to get through. Not because it was a bad book but because the topics were HEAVY and it did get hard to keep up with after a bit. It's full of teenage angst and parental issues. Believing everyone is against you is a hard way to live. It brings to the forefront mental health issues that aren't often talked about. This often misdiagnosis or missed diagnosis of patients which leads to extended mental episodes.

Although, I think this book SHOULD be read by most, I don't know if this book COULD be read by just anyone because I feel that it won't be appreciated by everyone. Regardless - kudos to Jerold Daniels for writing a lovely book on a difficult topic.

"...I haven't lived a life of failures. I've lived a life of challenges. I'm okay."



I received this book for free in exchange for my honest feedback.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emo reality, a really well done fictional memoir based on the authors daughter.
This novel broaches really tough subjects such as self harm, sexual abuse and Mental illness. It’s difficult to listen to the story of how Lina and her sister are struggling with depression through their teenage years however as a parent to a child who suffers with their mental health I found it really informative and helpful to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
The narrator voices Lina perfectly and held my attention throughout the book.
I would highly recommend this book.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book wasn't bad but was very disjointed to me. I had a hard time with the jumping around and then the hatred that seem to just seep through the pages. I know that this book was based on journaling and it really is this way in real life but I couldn't connect with any of the people in the book and really didn't care for anyone. No one paid any attention to what was going on and brushed everything under the rug and ignored signs and symptoms. I feel bad for the daughters and I feel bad that I didn't care for the book as much as I wanted to. I was rooting and rooting for a piece that was going to catch me but it didn't. I think the book was good to show what it can be like but I wish there was more.

[Paige Southwell · Rating 1 out of 5]

what part of this book was about bpd then? most of it was talking about how much she hated school

[Jennifer Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

The based-in-truth psychological novel Emo Reality is told from the perspective of Lina, a young adult reflecting on her youthful life before coming to grips with her psychological disorders. A member of my family has been diagnosed with BPD, with similar behavior patterns. Lina narrates, drawing on actual teenage journals and archives to tell her story. The book’s early pages cover her story from birth to kindergarten. As the book progresses through Lina’s adolescent years, she recounts her increasing disinterest in academics and hobbies and growing feelings of detachment from, and resentment toward, her family. She experiences paranoia and delusions, but without the support, guidance, or understanding to help her cope with her condition.

She shares vivid delusions, hallucinations, and fears that are core to her identity. She places particular focus on her strained relationship with her father, although her unstable relationships with her friends and teachers are also explored. As phantom animals come to occupy Lina’s mind, further warping her sense of reality, she grows even more distant and resentful of others. Some of her delusions harden into false memories, their bitter burden growing heavier over time. Throughout adolescence Lina believes her depression, moodiness, and disdain for others are due to her personal circumstances, although later, as an adult, she comes to understand that they were symptoms of mental illness.

Lina’s chaotic thinking is reflected in the book’s storyline, containing fragmented or disconnected thoughts which at times make for difficult reading; for example, in one paragraph, Lina imagines the torture of others in gory detail; in the next, she shares how much she loves ice cream. Lina is often potty-mouthed and prone to cliches. However, the novel is ultimately successful in conveying the progression of Lina’s mental illness and her eventual understanding of her spiteful distorted memory and acceptance of her psychoses through psychotherapy. Lina rediscovers the truth about her past and leaves “emo reality” behind. Emo Reality would be a worthwhile read for other family members of teenagers and young adults experiencing mood volatility, pervasive negative thinking, and consequent impulsive or self-damaging behavior.

[SnowWhite604 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emo Reality is a fictional memoir based on the life of the author’s young daughter, Lina. I found the book to be interesting, insightful, brutal and sad at times. Lina goes through various stages of depression and mental illness but is not properly diagnosed in her younger years which leads to numerous issues throughout her teenage years, at school & with her entire family. Her mother is portrayed as immature & self-absorbed, having a relationship with her daughters that more closely resembled that of a friend. Lina’s father was away from home & worked a lot & seemed to also be unaware of the seriousness of the behavior Lina was displaying. Lina seems to spiral more & more due to the fact that no one really knows what is going on with her & are pushing her erratic, & disruptive behavior off as regular teenage rebellion.

This book takes you through her pre-teen to early adult years & all of the struggles Lina & her family go through regarding her behavior & how it affects her schooling, work & all of the relationships in her life. The book did jump around, but I believe that is because that’s how Lina’s mind worked. It gives a lot of insight into borderline personality disorder and was definitely worth the read. I listened to the audiobook and enjoyed the narrator. I give this book a solid 4 stars.

I received this book thanks to Netgalley as an ARC for my honest review.

[Emily J · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I received a copy of this book through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program in exchange for an honest review*

What a difficult yet important read (as many mental health-based books are); although I am a case manager in the mental health field, I could definitely stand to learn more about BPD and this book was excellent insight into the onset, proliferation and familial impact of the devastating diagnosis.

My heart broke for the father (author) at being alienated from his daughters while at the same time sacrificing so much to provide the best possible life for them. And yet...I vividly recall the teenage angst at being directed/instructed/guided/PARENTED, and cannot imagine what that felt like with parents who were not "on the same page" with each other.

My reason for rating the book 2.5 stars has more to do with the repetitive nature of the writing, as other readers have noted, although I understand this is done in part to reflect Lina's mental state and adolescent view of the world. I struggle as well with the fact that the author (Lina's dad) wrote as if her were Lina as a young woman; for some reason this feels somewhat presumptuous and I would have also appreciated reading his firsthand account as a dad.

[Ninna · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is not what I expected and that may have tainted my enjoyment of the book. I chose it because it appeared to be a memoir of a teenager with borderline personality disorder, a condition that is not often discussed. However, the book is written as if it is sporadic diary entries which felt very disjointed. Memoirs usually have a person's view of their life after certain events have been experienced but it took a long time for the MC to come to an understanding of her situation and life. When we finally get to that point, it felt rushed and tacked on to end the book. I later realized that this was actually written by the teenager's father but in her first person "view" which felt disingenuous to me. I don't think that was the author's intent but it would have been better if he had just written it from his perspective with annotations from his daughter to include her personal experience. It does give a lot of information about BPD but in such a disorganized way that it can be confusing and overlooked. This book had potential but was a miss for me. Thank you to Netgalley and Singapress for an ARC of this audiobook. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

[Julie Furlong · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an extremely hard book to get through. I felt like I was basically reading a story of a self absorbed, angst driven, narcissistic teenager who never grew up. Then, at the age of 28, she realized that she’s that way because she has borderline personality disorder. It is too bad that she couldn’t have been diagnosed sooner. So that her relationship with her family could have maybe been different. But maybe not, because she still seems to not like her father. And I am sorry, but I can’t get over the fact of how awful she was to him for just being a father. AWFUL!!! He helps her pay for schooling, gets her the finest things money can buy, cares for her education, only for her to treat him like garbage. Then there’s her mother. Who enables her behavior.

I was hoping to maybe understand the disorder a little better by reading this book. I honestly feel like there are a lot of millennials with borderline personality disorder if the symptoms are what I saw at the end of this book. Can’t keep a job, get piercings and tattoos for self therapy, can’t keep a friendship or a relationship.

[Gabriel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very weird reading a book in the first-person from the perspective of a real person in the author’s life. A biography of the author’s daughter’s life written as though it is a memoir she wrote. It’s hard not to get caught up wondering about the veracity of ‘her’ perspective and thoughts, especially when it comes to the author writing about himself and her relationship with him from her perspective. Are these her real feelings? Has this been sanitized to benefit the author? Has he been able to keep his biases separate from his work in this very sensitive subject or does he put words in his daughter’s mouth? Regardless of the answer, which the reader can’t ever truly know, it made it difficult to fully engage with the story the book was trying to tell.
Perhaps because of this or because of the simple writing style, I didn’t find myself very affected by the story or feeling like I had a more nuanced understanding of BPD after reading it.

[Laurel Perez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written by Lina's father but in the first person of Lina, the conceit is that this is autobiographical but takes a lot of liberties, I assume for privacy, etc. The novel is written from the perspective of Lina, her father turning her thoughts and words into a story. This allows for an intimate glimpse into Lina's inner workings and emotions that were previously only available through private diaries and emails. The reader gets to experience the full range of feelings as well as gain insight into what it is like to live with BPD and all its associated difficulties. This was a difficult read, and the POV felt off, but that may be due to her Daniels trying to access the mind of Lina. Overall, this book definitely a perspective we have not had a lot of in contemporary literature, so it's important to read in that respect.

[Samantha Scheer · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️.5/5

Thank you to Netgalley for an advanced copy of this audiobook in exchange of a review!

I am a mental heath junkie! I find it so interesting, especially Borderline Personality Disorder. I was instantly intrigued by the title and cover of this audiobook.

I don’t know how to properly write a review since this is a fictional story that is almost like a memoir and based off a real person. There was a lot going on and at times it was hard to follow, but I believe that was intent since the main character has BPD. There was some really tough stuff to listen to at times so it took me a little bit longer to make it through this audiobook.

Overall it wasn’t a bad read and was definitely interesting. It isn’t one that I feel like I will continue to remember moving forward though.

If you’re a mental health junkie like me then it’s definitely worth giving a try!

[Sue Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting insight into a teenagers experience of living with borderline personality disorder and the strategies she used to cope with her distressing thoughts and beliefs and how she managed relationships with others. I listened to the audiobook of this text which was well narrated and allowed me to immerse myself in the book to a good level.
The impact on the family system when BPD is present are significant but I didn't think the book gave quite enough attention to this.
The importance of getting timely and appropriate mental health support is highlighted and is therefore likely to be helpful to other people impacted by BPD and their families.
I am grateful to the publishers and NetGalley for an advanced listener copy of this book.

[Alex Evans · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a therapist, I jumped at the opportunity to read this biography. I was interested in the complexity of a BPD diagnosis and how that would be explained. I think the author did a wonderful job of explaining the complexities related to mental health and I especially enjoyed the timeframe from childhood to adulthood in terms of how the disorder progressed. I did struggled at time to go back to this book because there is pretty heavy subject matter throughout and the narrator was not my favorite.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in mental health and the world of psychology. But, please check the trigger warnings first!

Thank you to NetGallery and the author for allowing me the opportunity to read and review this audiobook

[Amelia Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an unusual book that tells the story of an extremely wealthy and worldly family who experience a full range of mental health and unhealthy family dynamics despite their outward advantages. It is written in exposition-heavy prose that feels slightly awkward but is strangely compelling like peeking into a diary. Some readers will bounce off the language, emo fashion details, or unrelatable wealth of the protagonists, but those who connect with it will be given insight into how struggles with mental health can affect a family in ripples and in crashing waves. This will be particularly powerful for readers who relate to aspects of it and have not seem themselves reflected so bluntly in a book before

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an educational and inspiring book with an encouraging ending. If Lina had communicated and her mother not been selfish and deceitful, Lina would have turned into an adult to be admired. Her sister was a compassionate person who, like her father, reasoned mainly with logic and not feelings like most women do. Her father never gave up on his family, especially on the one who gave them so much heartache and headache, Lina. Mental illness was the cause of her behavior, plus the bad influence from her mother. I didn’t want the last chapter to end.

[Lourdes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a fictional memoir based on the author's daughter. It follows the mind and mental health spiral of Lina as she grows from adolescence to young adulthood. Through Lina’s heart-wrenching words, the reader steps into her broken inner world to experience first-hand the obsessions, irrationality, angst, and ruthlessness of teenage borderline personality disorder. A little bit hard to read myself, and when you have these personalities can affect you also even as an adult.
Thank you to Netgalley for an Arc in exchange for an honest review!