Why Can't I Get It Together?: Kick Unrealistic Expectations to the Curb and Rest in God's Truth

by Jamie Ivey

We’re trying to “get it together” in areas we have no control over. We keep trying, but we’ll never move the needle to a better future because it has nothing to do with us or anything we can do. 

You don’t always have to give in to what the world, your family, or your own self declares is the way things are “supposed” to be. God desires goodness and joy for us. God, Jesus, and the Spirit went to great lengths to offer you and me the best good news ever. 

In Why Can’t I Get It Together?, Jamie Ivey, host of The Happy Hour podcast, shares how to 

Define the reality of your current circumstancesPonder the areas of your life that are out of controlStop self-shameCreate better expectations for yourselfMove forward in an effort to chase holiness Jamie guides us through six areas of our lives that are affecting our perception of God’s love in our realities. Dig deep into God’s Word to see what it says about why we keep sinning, how to stop, and what God feels about us in the midst of it all. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Self Help, Christian Non Fiction, Faith, Christian Living, Religion

209 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 13, 2024

Reviews

[Kathleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although this book is a quick read, I found myself struggling to continue reading it.

I really tried to keep an open mind while reading this book but really could not connect with it.

Much of the language used in the book didn’t resonate with me and felt kind of disingenuous.

Not for me but may be for you.

Thank you to W Publishing Group and Goodreads, as I won this book in a Goodreads Giveaway.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author is currently parenting four teenagers. But although she doesn't go into personal details about her own kids, everything she says about the existence of teenagers is about how difficult they are. How they think they know everything. How they're annoying and hard to manage. How everyone old enough to look back dislikes their teenage self. (I do not, in fact, dislike my teenage self. Teenage me wasn't perfect, but she was doing her best, and she was doing a pretty great job.)

In the last chapter, she mentions how she's trying not to wish away her children's teenage years because she knows she'll miss them even though parenting is hard right now. This is a valid sentiment, but it rang rather hollow. I don't know anything she'll miss about her teenagers.

Looking down on teenagers is (unfortunately) a social norm, and I suspect this came out of an attempt to be relatable rather than malice. This was far from my only - or biggest - problem with this book, but it stuck out and made me sad. If any of the author's kids ever read her book, I wonder how this will make them feel.

[Brianna Smith Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful read of how the Lord can break into our unhealthy thought patterns about how we should “have it all together.” I feel like Jamie and I have very similar thought lives as I could relate to many of her examples! It has helpful questions and space for journaling at the end of each chapter.

[Kristen Moura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books I’ll probably read every year. It felt so pointed to my current season of life and I just know that, because it’s FULL of scripture backed truths and encouragements that it will never get old. So thankful for Jamie and the way she teaches so well.

[Kirsten Mueller · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a little nervous about reading this book, but a friend loved it so much I had to give it a shot. See in 2020 I walked away from my faith and am just now trying to dip my toe back into it, so books that are heavy on God and scripture I stay away from. This book was well written and really got me thinking about life in general. I could not relate to the mom stories but felt comfort in some of the things she spoke about like our desires and the way we live our lives. Looking forward to checking out her podcast soon.

[Rachel Kissel · Rating 5 out of 5]

It isn’t often that I read a book and it feels like the author is talking directly TO me. Wow. Jamie’s words feels so much like a dear friend’s and is carefully woven to embrace and encourage you in whatever season of life you’re in. I can’t count the times I cried while she spoke right into my heart. Thank you for this one Jamie🧡

[Sheridan Flemings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook version and loved it so much!!

[Katie Morrison · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been a fan of Jamie for about 8 years because of her podcast. I’ve always appreciated the authenticity and vulnerability in her writing and all of the other spaces she participates publicly. I was so glad to read her latest book and be a little tiny piece of support in such a raw vulnerable season. I’ve always loved the way the lord speaks through her experience, encouragement, and community and that is true for this book as well. ❤️

[Taryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good and helpful perspective on unrealistic expectations.

[Sarah Standen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is eye-opening and offers an honest look at the pressure to have life perfectly organized. It reassures readers that they’re not alone in their struggles and provides practical steps to find peace amid the chaos. The writing is relatable, encouraging, and full of grace, making it a great read for anyone feeling overwhelmed. While I enjoyed it, I didn’t feel like I learned much from it. So it was just ok for me. However, it did help me feel less alone in life’s struggles, which I appreciated. I would recommend this book to anyone who is feeling the weight of life’s pressures.

[Astrid Eastman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Jamie's podcast, The Happy Hour, and feel like this book is an great extension of her. Jamie talks about her own struggles in wondering why she can't "get it together" but also offers insight on giving yourself more grace, looking at your own situations honestly, seeing where you need to adjust your calendar and more importantly your expectations. And I always love books where there are some exercises/journal prompts to help you development those insights!

[Andi Wernke · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could put this book in the hands of every woman, I would. I read this at a time when I desperately needed it. Jamie gives us practical steps and godly truth to help us discover why we feel we can’t get it together and how to have right responses to our circumstances. The book includes journal prompts and space to work through our realities in real time. Incredibly helpful and humbly, honestly written.

[Shantel lazrovich · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved Jamie ivy ! Her teaching and sharing with us as she navigated the mundane and we can all relate , loved the insights ad a mom a daughter and a wife all the roles God has given me . To embrace them and give myself grace invite Jesus through the mundane give Grace to others through the seasons how things don’t look perfect. It’s OK how to get your act together when we feel like we’ve lost it or not good enough but to hang on and keep going Jesus God gots us and He says He is with us !!

[Hanna Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine. I do think she accurately shared the Gospel, but I also think this phrase “get it together” is personally meaningful and to her but didn’t really make a cohesive book. It felt more like an extended journal entry/memoir in some ways and something that was more for herself than for publication.

[Leslie Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know what I fully expected from this book before I read it, but this was an incredible book that really helped me move through things and help change my outlook in everyday life. Will probably reread it yearly.

[Elizabeth H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jamie Ivey is extremely real and authentic in this book, sharing the challenging and vulnerable parts of her life while always pointing us back to God and His steadfast faithfulness through the rollercoaster of life. This is a big comfort book, one that I’ll surely return to.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!! Such a powerful book!! May need to look into getting myself a copy; good reflections and things to ponder as I continue on my faith journey.

“The opportunities and gifts God has given you are unique in to you…”

[Katie Norris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always appreciate Jamie’s honesty and encouragement in her books. I liked the little footnotes sprinkled throughout.

One of my favorite quotes from the book:
“Part of getting it together is being confident about your choices even when they aren’t what someone else would choose.”

[Abby VandenAkker · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took me a long time to read… I had a hard time wanting to pick it up. One thing for sure is that Jamie is always pointing the readers back to Jesus and incorporates lots of relevant Scripture.

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was well written. What is so incredibly sad is that just before the book was to go on sale, the news of her husband's scandal was exposed. So she had to cancel her book tour to deal with the fallout and to take care of her kids. I hope the author and her children continue to find healing.

[Alexandra Macgregor · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very timely and helpful book that I will certainly return to again. As always, Jamie delivers her highly relatable message with honesty, compassion and the perfect amount of humour.

[Cee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Will definitely use this to go back to as a reference when needed.

[Sharon Swayze garcia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a little bit of a hard time with this one.

[Katy D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very uplifting and encouraging. Highly reccomend.

[Taryn magnusson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened

[Beth Ann Hubert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very vulnerable, real life, and helpful. A good dose of scripture incorporated throughout and nice recaps at the end of chapters. It was a pretty slow read (listened to this one) for me.

[Whitney Hopperton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed the recaps, prompts, and prayers at the end of each chapter.
Overall was an okay book. It was a good book, vulnerable stories, and sprinkled with scripture and biblical truth.

[Becca Brandner · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few good nuggets throughout this one!

[Kayla Edwards · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a great read on drawing closer to Jesus! Highly recommend.

[Tina Serna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s alright.