Andrew Humington has delivered a book that delivers profound ideas and profound implications. I was mesmerized, having practiced gratitude, mindfulness, meditation, and so on, for many years. But still trying to work through why I get caught in negative thoughts. I guess we all do. But I understand why the author explains that focusing on gratitude lists, things we are gratitude grateful for, can lead to an invalidation of our own emotions. Why? You're working hard to feel grateful about this, that, or the other thing, but all the time you still feel awful. Neuroscience shows that this kind of gratitude gives us a temporary boost in dopamine or serotonin, but it doesn't last. So then you feel like a failure at being grateful!
For me the profound learning from this book is that it's the gratitude we receive, rather than the gratitude we give, that creates long-term changes to our brain and to our life.
This book is beautifully written, well laid out, extremely well-referenced. He backs up every single thing he says with a study, or more than one study. The field of neuroscience has been uncovering this truth for quite a few years, and I'm grateful that Andrew Humington laid it out for us in such an easy-to-absorb fashion, with concrete methods for employing these ideas.
As you work with these concepts it actually changes the structure of your brain, raises your intelligence, raises your empathy, reduces stress, makes you happier, more content, and more peaceful.
Focusing on the gratitude you received from other people makes you feel really good. It validates you. And although the author didn't point it out (because he's not preachy at all in this book, which I appreciate), the idea that feeling good from being thanked by other people might lead us to do more good deeds for other people. What a concept!
Excellent excellent book. Thank you Andrew Humington.