Invisible Loss: Recognizing and Healing the Unacknowledged Heartbreak of Everyday Grief

by Christina Rasmussen

From an acclaimed grief educator and the author of Second Firsts and Where Did You Go? comes a road map to recognize and heal the unspoken, often misunderstood experience of everyday loss, so you can finally reenter and live your life in full.

“Compared to most, my problems are small. I should be happy with what I’ve got.” Our inner judge often tells us grief is “allowed” for big losses, but that we should tough out everyday heartbreak. The loss of a loved one and a devastating divorce are likely to be accepted as grief events. But what about moments when we feel overlooked, disregarded, or misunderstood? This could look like rejection in the workplace, lack of intimacy in a relationship, being overlooked by friends, or working in a position that’s not a dream job. “These are losses society doesn’t recognize, mirror back to us, or validate,” says acclaimed grief educator Christina Rasmussen. “As a result, we don’t recognize or validate them either.”

This unacknowledged type of grief―invisible losses that are often labeled as not worthy of recognition―can be hard to define and may surface as feelings of anxiety, depression, angst, or restlessness. These are the moments when we shift perception of ourselves and can end up living in continuous survival mode, without really recognizing or understanding why.

In Invisible Loss, Rasmussen shines a light on this unrecognized form of grief. Because we avoid invisible loss, we don’t process it; instead, we seek the protection of an endless “waiting room” in the hope that time will heal our wounds. Here, Rasmussen helps you meet your loss, free from shame or guilt, to

• The origin of your invisible loss and how you’ve coped along the way
• The five life reentry phases based on the Life Reentry® Model
• Exercises to help you find your way out of the waiting room
• Guidance in reframing your thoughts toward your original self

“The entire world is silently grieving, attempting to process a form of heartbreak unlike anything we’ve ever experienced. We need a new language and road map for our invisible losses,” says Rasmussen. This guide gives you the tools you need in order to heal, move forward, and embrace the life you were meant to lead.

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief

216 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2024

About the author

Christina Rasmussen is an acclaimed grief educator and bestselling author of Second Firsts (Hay House,
2013), Where Did You Go? (Harper One, 2018), and Invisible Loss (Sounds True, 2024). In 2010, four
years after her thirty-five-year-old spouse passed away from Stage 4 colon cancer, she created the Life
Reentry process, which launched her on a mission to bring compassion, grace, and validation to
thousands, while simultaneously establishing an exit from what she termed the Waiting Room. Christina
holds a master’s degree in guidance and counseling (University of Durham). She is currently finishing her
master of fine arts degree in painting and drawing (Academy of Art). Her grief work has been featured on
ABC News, Psychology Today, in Women’s World, the Washington Post, and the White House Blog.

Reviews

[Jessie Arthur]

I didn't finish this book.

The concept is interesting, and I may give it another try someday. However, I found it difficult to connect with because it often felt less like a self-help book and more like a sales pitch for the author's real-life program.

There may be value in the approach for some readers.

[Allison]

This book wasn’t about the invisible loss I was expecting - but a helpful resource in figuring out the survivor part that we all probably have. More useful to work through slowly and thoughtfully vs my speedy audiobook style.

[Heath]

This is a decent framework/approach to dealing with grief in life. Specifically “invisible losses” or those griefs that are likely to go unnoticed.

The author identifies the survivor, the watcher, and the thriver as various parts of ourselves that operate to hold us back from or help us to engage with life.

The big takeaway for me is to listen to the fears that come up in my life each day and examine them to see where they came from and how they might be keeping me back from a fuller life.

[Paula]

Invisible Loss by Christina Rasmussen is a book that you need to be mentally and emotionally ready for. It is not a sit-down and read-and-be-done book. The reader really needs to take the time and be prepared to dive deep to unpack emotions that may have been long buried.

While some of the stuff discussed seemed a bit complicated to understand, there are examples to help the reader along.

In Invisible Loss, the author highlights unrecognized forms of grief. She states that because we avoid invisible loss, we don’t process it; instead, we seek the protection of an endless “waiting room” in the hope that time will heal our wounds. The author discusses the origin of invisible loss and how we have coped along the way, the five life reentry phases based on the Life Reentry® Model she developed, and exercises to help the reader find a way out of the waiting room.

This is a good book to have for anyone dealing with loss of any kind.

#InvisibleLoss #NetGalley @soundstrue

[Hannah]

The underlying idea is very good, but I found the execution was too vague and places and sometimes gave advice which might lead people into childhood trauma triggers. I felt that some of the ideas might lead you into a situation in which family reacts badly towards you, which would further put you back in the waiting room instead of helping you to get out of it.

[AMAO]

We all need a reminder that a yard stick should not be used for comparison of the bigger trauma, situation or issue. Our nervous system and genetic history dont take time to compare loss in measurements. We all need to share and give compassion to ourselves and others without judgement. More books and conversation needs to be shared and read by all.

[Shelby Somers]

A deep and thought-provoking book about everyday loss, grieving unmet expectations, disappointments, dreams, or hidden losses. Also talks about healing childhood wounds and reconnecting with yourself. Lots of exercises and homework throughout the book to help readers process, let go, and move forward.

[Mia Caven]

The most beautiful book that found me mid-ptsd diagnosis. I cant explain how much this helped me.

[Laura]

good concept, sooo much jargon.