Vengeance of Segennya

Birthright Secrets #1

by Tiffany Cherney

Segennya is no stranger to wars of power and bloodshed. It is a fact that Liz, a hired blade living in Ravenwood's Lower Quarter, is all too familiar with as well. For a while it seems the cycle has been broken; a sense of normal has been established through the current group's blind eye to everything but their own desires. Liz has her own normal, working for her Lord and is simply content with that. Until one night...

One night Liz's entire world crashes down, her code of honor shatters and she is sent fleeing from a burning city. Questions need answer but first Liz must reunite her family that survived and decide what lies ahead. As things become clear in regards to what happened the full plan is made- those responsible must pay.

Setting out to parts unknown Liz finds herself the rallying point to something much larger. Threads are being cast all over Segennya entwining strangers as allies. The success of their mission hinges on Liz's answer to one question. A question that has a right answer, but it is one that Liz must choose between need and personal comfort to give.

338 pages, Paperback

First published December 20, 2013

About the author

Tiffany is born and raised in Michigan where she lives with her husband and son and two furred kids of the puppy variety. She is a lifelong lover of books and has been writing for over ten years, though Vengeance of Segennya is her first published book.

In addition to writing she holds an undergraduate degree in International Relations and is pursuing a Masters in Political Science. She also enjoys gaming, traveling and spending time with her family.

Reviews

[L.K. Evans · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really do hate giving low ratings. I am, after all, no expert reviewer nor am I an expert on the art of writing an incredible book (if I were, I’d be famous and living in a different state that can actually grow trees). I can only give my opinion and, hopefully, a sensible reason why I felt the way I did about the book.

First of all, Tiffany Cherney was generous and gave me a free copy of her book in exchange for an honest review.

I’ll start with what I did like:

The love story!! Wait...what?!?! Yeah, I typed it correctly and you read it correctly. I was okay with the love story in this book. It did not contain a relationship that resulted in marriage after only a week of knowing each other. The two characters who shared each other’s company had done so for a decent amount of time. It did not feel rushed, faked, or forced. It was actually very natural.

I think Liz is a strong female heroine. I didn’t mind her at all and she kept her kick ass attitude throughout the book, which was wonderful.

What I didn’t like:

For me, personally, I could not understand the actual writing itself. I spent entirely too much time trying to figure out what was being conveyed that I totally lost what enjoyment I might have had for the book. Some sentences were long and convoluted to the point I couldn’t decipher them. If these were sprinkled here and there, I would have been fine, but I was wading through odd wording and typos throughout the book. I think there was a great story in there, I really do. I, however, lack any form of patience (unless it’s with my dogs and cats; they’re just too cute). With that said, another person who is a slower reader and is willing to put in a little effort might be happily rewarded. There are 2 five star ratings for this book, so obviously there were 2 people who did not encounter the same problem I did. However, I recommend reading the prologue and first chapter on Amazon before committing. If you enjoy it, pick it up.

There you have it. My ramblings are finally done.

[Noel Coughlan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Let’s deal with the prologue first. It is in present tense. Ninety percent of the rest of the book is in past tense, till the story reaches where the prologue left off. The book then goes back to present tense. We know from the prologue that two of the main characters are hale and hearty ‘in the present’ so no need to worry about their fate for ninety percent of the book.

The rest of the book reads like a good first draft. The writing is very clunky, and it is hard to make sense of some sentences. The story is under-baked, full of contradictions and continuity slips. You can see where the author has changed her mind or tossed in a new idea without properly integrating it into the story.

For example, take Kellin. Druj appoints him as the captain of Durj’s army at one stage. Later this title changes to commander. Even though the captain of Durj’s army would be a position of responsibility, Kellin seems completely detached from Durj’s schemes. Durj doesn’t display any need for him, so why appoint him? Durj shows Kellin written proof of Liz’s treachery but later says that Kellin can’t read.

There is a strange dissonance in the main character, Liz. She is far too likeable for someone who is a ruthless killer. And she is ruthless—she admits it herself. She says that she’d kill anyone who got in her way on one of her boss’s missions.

She is the centre of her friends’ attention to an almost psychotic degree. For example, each of her comrades has very personal reasons to hate Durj, but, except for Cat, it is Durj’s betrayal of Liz that is their sole focus. Liz’s violent past (for which she never displays the least guilt) doesn’t matter. She is nice and (too) loyal, and that is all that matters.

The least thing Liz does is met with vociferous praise. Leadership of the rebellion is thrust upon her by other people, for no logical reason. Even she cannot understand it. Admittedly, the training she gives might be useful, but does that really qualify her to be a leader of a coalition of peoples? If you were a Lord, would your natural choice for leader be someone who was once your biggest enemy’s most loyal assassin?

I am sorry, but these issues killed my enjoyment of the book.

[K. Chrisbacher · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received an ebook in exchange for an honest review

I had high hopes for this book based on its premise; however, it fell significantly short. The amount of groan-worthy lampshading overwhelmed any potential for a clever plot. Sad, too, because I really wanted to root for the heroine, but she quickly turned into a character so unbelievable that I ended up not liking her. She was the "be-all/end-all" in every scenario. There was no arc, she was perfect, which in itself is unbelievable when dealing with a trained assassin who's apparently killed hundreds of people.

That aside, the book is in need of serious professional editing. To the extent that this became the focus and I could not enjoy the story at all. The strain of trying to understand what the author was attempting to say became too much to maneuver through. The run-ons, comma splicing, endless grammar faux pas,the strange sentence structures, and incorrect use of words became a grueling task. The majority of the plot was lost due to these issues. In one chapter I counted the use of "it" nearly seventy times. I lost track of what/who the author was referencing by the fifth use of "it" and just gave up.

I found the story jolting how the author constantly switched tenses, and I became dizzy from all the POV jumps in a single scene. I'm not sure if this is due to novice writing, or the author's style.

I found the dialogue between the characters trite. And, to me, the story "jumped the shark" early on, making the rest drag. The action scenes didn't live up to the hype, mostly because I wasn't able to understand these scenes due to the all of the above mentioned issues (no sense in rehashing), plus the unbelievable inner monologuing, where the character, in essence, narrated to the reader what the writing failed to point out, caused cringe-worthy eye-rolls.

I am genuinely sad that I couldn't give this story a better rating. I always cheer for stories with strong female leads; However, I found Liz (the main protagonist) and her friends: Cat, Terra, and Kai to be too unlikable to care about.

[Emma Jaye · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a work of significant length, and follows a well loved premise of a mysterious poor foundling who become the hope of a world. Unusual twists include the addition of other races, including four armed warriors and some interesting little purple floating people half way through peaked my interest.
It was about that point that the somewhat irritating style, particularly the reliance on dialogue and including inner dialogue and awkward faded away, and I started to enjoy the story a little more.
Although I struggled for the first part of the book, it did get better, although there were a few plot holes that had me scratching my head. Such as way other ‘Lords’ fell into line behind a hired assassin, a former prostitute, a fisher girl and the sister of a poor quarter lord. Liz is a good killer, but a leader? Another such moment occurred when the group is informed the baddies are within hours of their hiding place, a tavern, and they all toddle off to bed, rather than making a break for it.
Most of the characters were rather two dimensional, but there were moments of real feeling, particularly a scene involving the leading man (Kellin) when he has no choice but to stand by during an execution.
Overall, I suggest a read of the ‘look inside’ before purchasing to see if you like the author’s style. I found it fascinating to see the author’s ability grow during the book, if she carries on improving at the same rate, I’ll be looking out for more of her work.

[Zrinka Jelic · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a hard time wading through the book and I'm finding reviewing it even harder. Does the book have issues mentioned in the prior reviews? Yes, and then some. But there really is no reason to tear this author’s dream apart and turn it to shame. Because we cannot see the reviewer, the ability to gauge body language doesn't exist. There are no emotions attached to the review so the writer has no idea the spirit in which a remark is intended. Unless I find the book distasteful, I always try to review it in a diplomatic manner. Comments can be hurtful and often ask yourself how would you take it if you were on the receiving end? But many times reviewers are simply offering opinions and those opinions aren't always objective. Writing is a profession where one must learn to take what is in the opinion and use it to craft a better story.
As I read along, many questions raised and answers that were important at that point in the narrative came much later. Which is like telling an editor, don't bother reading until the first five chapters because the action doesn't start until chapter six.

Writing is communication. We are attempting to make a reader understand something. If someone doesn't understand what we meant, we didn't do our job as a writers. An author can't go up to an editor or reader and say, "I meant to say this . . ." That understanding must be on the page.
A writer must keep an open mind. Readers have likes and dislikes. Some of the best comments can come from someone who doesn't generally read this particular type of story. They may be able to see more clearly problems because they are not trying to overcome their own natural bias for or against the subject material.
Readers of the commercial fiction will accept anything that strains the practical boundaries of their lives, as long as the believable is made believable. Make every word count. Be clear, concise and vivid. Don't assume the reader will figure it out. Show, don't tell.
Taking criticism is difficult. Accept what's being offered -- it’s the chance to make your manuscript the best it can be.

[Kel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was provided a copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review.

Vengeance of Segennya by Tiffany Cherney: I love the idea of this book. A woman who can’t remember her past works for a corrupt man who has his sights on the crown and will use any person in his way to achieve that goal. After a fall-out of sorts, that young woman goes into hiding and finds others that are willing to stand and fight with her. Along the way she falls for a guy, finds out about her past and is aided by her friends. The idea rocks, it’s in the delivery is where I got stuck.

I’ve read one other review of this book and they were right, the actual writing is a tad hard to understand and follow. I feel that this book would have benefited from a good read through and few beta readers. The characters were fun, Liz was amazing and strong, Durj was such a snake and my favorite was the grouping of Liz’s friends. Cat, Terra, and Kai were so much fun. I wish there were more good things I could say about Vengeance of Segennya, but I really can’t and that hurts.

[Tiffany Cherney]

Revisions complete and back live.