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Monsters & Mind Games
Tentacled, brain-eating monsters called the gyle have unleashed a full-scale invasion, and humanity is helpless against their mind-control powers.
When novice elf mage, Ambrose, is commissioned by the King to halt the invasion, he thinks there must be a mistake—he’s wildly underqualified. Fortunately, he’s paired up with Kilgore the Conqueror, a brooding orcish war hero Ambrose has secretly been thirsting over for years.
Unfortunately, their mission is headed by Grist—a sociopathic gyle traitor who’s as cruel as he is clever. The manipulative gyle can read his companions’ every thought, and enjoys torturing Ambrose and Kilgore with their darkest secrets and forbidden attraction to each other. The group has only seven days to save the world, but they must learn to trust each other first.
Monsters & Mind Games is an exciting MM fantasy adventure with complex characters, swoon-worthy romance, and a wickedly funny villain that will keep you guessing right up to the happily ever after.
( This standalone novel contains extra-spicy spice, and is intended for mature readers.)
When novice elf mage, Ambrose, is commissioned by the King to halt the invasion, he thinks there must be a mistake—he’s wildly underqualified. Fortunately, he’s paired up with Kilgore the Conqueror, a brooding orcish war hero Ambrose has secretly been thirsting over for years.
Unfortunately, their mission is headed by Grist—a sociopathic gyle traitor who’s as cruel as he is clever. The manipulative gyle can read his companions’ every thought, and enjoys torturing Ambrose and Kilgore with their darkest secrets and forbidden attraction to each other. The group has only seven days to save the world, but they must learn to trust each other first.
Monsters & Mind Games is an exciting MM fantasy adventure with complex characters, swoon-worthy romance, and a wickedly funny villain that will keep you guessing right up to the happily ever after.
( This standalone novel contains extra-spicy spice, and is intended for mature readers.)
397 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 15, 2023
63 people are currently reading
1258 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
November 30, 2023
⭐️ why can’t there be more than 5 stars ⭐️
This fantasy romance deserves all the stars!
Engaging world-building, interesting and fully developed characters, action-packed and thrilling plot, and to top it all off a cute and swoony romance.
The sci-fi elements kind of threw me off at first, but in the end the alien aspect added more complexity and uniqueness to the lore. Have you ever seen aliens and orcs and elves together? Me neither, but I’m glad it now exists.
Grist the alien is such a peculiar and unique character. He felt like the comedic relief side character/ villain you kind of want to have a redemption arc.
The magic system is also extremely fascinating and thankfully pretty straight-forward since i often find high fantasy novels to be overly complex, making me lose interest almost immediately.
This book is definitely a big boi length-wise (as is Kilgor), but oh so worth it (so is Kilgor).
POV: 3rd person, only Ambrose’s POV
I received a free copy from the author and am leaving this honest review voluntarily. Thank you Emily Brandish!
CW and tropes(spoilers):
- Violence
- Grooming
- SA flashbacks on page
- Elf mage vs orc warrior
- Size difference
- Forced proximity
- Intercrural
- Strict top/bottom
This fantasy romance deserves all the stars!
Engaging world-building, interesting and fully developed characters, action-packed and thrilling plot, and to top it all off a cute and swoony romance.
The sci-fi elements kind of threw me off at first, but in the end the alien aspect added more complexity and uniqueness to the lore. Have you ever seen aliens and orcs and elves together? Me neither, but I’m glad it now exists.
Grist the alien is such a peculiar and unique character. He felt like the comedic relief side character/ villain you kind of want to have a redemption arc.
The magic system is also extremely fascinating and thankfully pretty straight-forward since i often find high fantasy novels to be overly complex, making me lose interest almost immediately.
This book is definitely a big boi length-wise (as is Kilgor), but oh so worth it (so is Kilgor).
POV: 3rd person, only Ambrose’s POV
I received a free copy from the author and am leaving this honest review voluntarily. Thank you Emily Brandish!
CW and tropes(spoilers):
- Violence
- Grooming
- SA flashbacks on page
- Elf mage vs orc warrior
- Size difference
- Forced proximity
- Intercrural
- Strict top/bottom
August 27, 2023
tw: graphic rape scenes
i neither hate nor loved monsters and mind games but i was highly entertained from start to finish. emily brandish in my opinion crafted this massive fantasy world with the just right size of complexity. we follow three unlikely heroes: ambrose, a fresh graduate elf mage; kilogre the orc war hero; and grist who is this monstrous slimy psychic turncoat of his species, the gyle. the mission of this trio was to stop the gyle invasion on earth and in order to do that they have to obviously work together. but working together means trusting one another and how can they trust grist who is also a traitor? this book was a roller coaster of events. the romance between our elf mage and the warrior may not have won me but everything else in the book did.
i neither hate nor loved monsters and mind games but i was highly entertained from start to finish. emily brandish in my opinion crafted this massive fantasy world with the just right size of complexity. we follow three unlikely heroes: ambrose, a fresh graduate elf mage; kilogre the orc war hero; and grist who is this monstrous slimy psychic turncoat of his species, the gyle. the mission of this trio was to stop the gyle invasion on earth and in order to do that they have to obviously work together. but working together means trusting one another and how can they trust grist who is also a traitor? this book was a roller coaster of events. the romance between our elf mage and the warrior may not have won me but everything else in the book did.
December 7, 2023
Epic! And I don’t do epics. When I realized the direction, and length, 427 pages, in which the book was going I was too caught up in the good writing of the romance between the beautiful young elven mage and the battle scarred and beastly orc. I think the romance could have stood on its own, but the adventure aspect of the book did give the relationship greater depth and more time to develop, along with some tense and highly emotional scenes. This is a one POV story, that of Ambrose, the new graduate of a mage academy. He is thrust out into the world under a massive threat of an alien invasion. Think ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ with gross creatures taking over human bodies. So not my reading jam, but I went along for the ride because the relationship between mage Ambrose and orc Kilgore had many of the romance tropes that I like: age difference, enemies to lovers, forced proximity, a journey together. And, I like the writing style of this author.
There is another MC who makes this duo a trio, but definitely not a romantic one. He is Grist, one of the aliens who has taken over a body and was treated so deplorably by his overlords that he has turned against them and is helping the humans and the fantasy creatures among them, like elves, to destroy a further invasion of his kind. Grist is the antithesis of noble. He is a disgusting looking humanoid, with tentacles on a decayed face and worse. I almost stopped reading for that and his manner. He can read every mind, hear every thought, watch every memory, and then use it how he wills to manipulate, humiliate, and intimidate someone. And use it he does against Kilgore and Ambrose, even while they are on this mission against the aliens. There is a great deal of interior thought and conversation between Ambrose and Grist. Kilgore is the strong and silent type. Just give him a sword and let him do his thing. Ambrose is overwrought with feelings and anxiousness. Having his thoughts and motives constantly scrutinized is challenging. The physical desire that he feels for the huge Kilgore grounds him and in the orc’s massive arms he feels protected and can relax his brain and body. Grist is a hard character to describe because he is like annoying and needling and laughs at others, but he kind of grows on them even while they hate him. He tricks and lies to Ambrose and Kilgore as they journey on horseback with some serious consequences, yet by the end of the book he has a place among them. There is a rough scene in an orc village where Grist has manipulated Ambrose into helping him to basically obliterate the inhabitants who were not a threat. He had his reasons, but I did not like this scene at all and felt it didn’t have to go that far. I am still giving the book five stars and recommending it as a read. It is far more than the somewhat silly fantasy cover. This is the author who wrote ‘For You, Sir’, which I really enjoyed. In this book I found myself saving some thoughts about love. They were profound enough to be saved. There is good writing in this one with excellent heat between the MCs. I was thinking as I read, how the author put a great deal of effort into an elaborate plot and a lot of characters. All the stars.
There is another MC who makes this duo a trio, but definitely not a romantic one. He is Grist, one of the aliens who has taken over a body and was treated so deplorably by his overlords that he has turned against them and is helping the humans and the fantasy creatures among them, like elves, to destroy a further invasion of his kind. Grist is the antithesis of noble. He is a disgusting looking humanoid, with tentacles on a decayed face and worse. I almost stopped reading for that and his manner. He can read every mind, hear every thought, watch every memory, and then use it how he wills to manipulate, humiliate, and intimidate someone. And use it he does against Kilgore and Ambrose, even while they are on this mission against the aliens. There is a great deal of interior thought and conversation between Ambrose and Grist. Kilgore is the strong and silent type. Just give him a sword and let him do his thing. Ambrose is overwrought with feelings and anxiousness. Having his thoughts and motives constantly scrutinized is challenging. The physical desire that he feels for the huge Kilgore grounds him and in the orc’s massive arms he feels protected and can relax his brain and body. Grist is a hard character to describe because he is like annoying and needling and laughs at others, but he kind of grows on them even while they hate him. He tricks and lies to Ambrose and Kilgore as they journey on horseback with some serious consequences, yet by the end of the book he has a place among them. There is a rough scene in an orc village where Grist has manipulated Ambrose into helping him to basically obliterate the inhabitants who were not a threat. He had his reasons, but I did not like this scene at all and felt it didn’t have to go that far. I am still giving the book five stars and recommending it as a read. It is far more than the somewhat silly fantasy cover. This is the author who wrote ‘For You, Sir’, which I really enjoyed. In this book I found myself saving some thoughts about love. They were profound enough to be saved. There is good writing in this one with excellent heat between the MCs. I was thinking as I read, how the author put a great deal of effort into an elaborate plot and a lot of characters. All the stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 14, 2023
4 stars
Well-crafted fantasy/sci-fi with engaging leads
Monsters & Mind Games is a very solid debut. Honestly, I'm impressed.
I was a bit hesitant when I saw the page count, but this book is well-paced and I never felt like there was any lull in the action. I did anxiously page forward a few times, but that's just because I hate surprises and I am weak.
The worldbuilding was convincing. It's not a revolutionary setting, but it was different enough for me to find it quite engaging. The world is what initially seems like a relatively traditional fantasy world with humans, elves and orcs, some magic, wars and olden-time (lack of) technology. But actually, it's more interesting than that, with the invaders and Grist actually being off-planet aliens with modern technology. I appreciated that elves were also a marginalised minority species rather than being the usual ruling classes or elite.
This status allows Ambrose and Kilgore to connect more deeply, though they still had very different lives and upbringings: Ambrose, the city-born half-elf scholar, Kilgore the "barbaric" orc-warrior. I think they made a great ragtag band, especially with the addition of Grist, a traitor from the invading species, who is so unlikeable.
Overall though, I do think this is a bit more successful as a fantasy than it is as a romance. Ambrose and Kilgore have great sexual chemistry, and I definitely think there's the foundation for more, but I didn't quite feel the emotional connection by the end of the book. They are very different people and I would've liked a bit more of a bond to fully convince me that they're well-matched, especially as this does appear to be a standalone (though there's material to continue the story if the author wishes!).
There were a few details and moments I found extraneous. The first chapter was an odd opening for me, though I suppose it does set the scene for Ambrose's sexual shame, and cement the place of the elves in the hierarchy. I also found it odd that we never find out Ambrose's mother's fate, and Grist never tells him more about his father either.
In spite of those niggles, I'd definitely recommend this to fantasy readers or romance readers who like a plot-heavy story (and size differences...), and I'll certainly be checking out the author's future releases!
I kindly received an ARC from the author. All opinions are my own.
Do check the CWs which are listed at the front of the book.
Well-crafted fantasy/sci-fi with engaging leads
Monsters & Mind Games is a very solid debut. Honestly, I'm impressed.
I was a bit hesitant when I saw the page count, but this book is well-paced and I never felt like there was any lull in the action. I did anxiously page forward a few times, but that's just because I hate surprises and I am weak.
The worldbuilding was convincing. It's not a revolutionary setting, but it was different enough for me to find it quite engaging. The world is what initially seems like a relatively traditional fantasy world with humans, elves and orcs, some magic, wars and olden-time (lack of) technology. But actually, it's more interesting than that, with the invaders and Grist actually being off-planet aliens with modern technology. I appreciated that elves were also a marginalised minority species rather than being the usual ruling classes or elite.
This status allows Ambrose and Kilgore to connect more deeply, though they still had very different lives and upbringings: Ambrose, the city-born half-elf scholar, Kilgore the "barbaric" orc-warrior. I think they made a great ragtag band, especially with the addition of Grist, a traitor from the invading species, who is so unlikeable.
Overall though, I do think this is a bit more successful as a fantasy than it is as a romance. Ambrose and Kilgore have great sexual chemistry, and I definitely think there's the foundation for more, but I didn't quite feel the emotional connection by the end of the book. They are very different people and I would've liked a bit more of a bond to fully convince me that they're well-matched, especially as this does appear to be a standalone (though there's material to continue the story if the author wishes!).
There were a few details and moments I found extraneous. The first chapter was an odd opening for me, though I suppose it does set the scene for Ambrose's sexual shame, and cement the place of the elves in the hierarchy. I also found it odd that we never find out Ambrose's mother's fate, and Grist never tells him more about his father either.
In spite of those niggles, I'd definitely recommend this to fantasy readers or romance readers who like a plot-heavy story (and size differences...), and I'll certainly be checking out the author's future releases!
I kindly received an ARC from the author. All opinions are my own.
Do check the CWs which are listed at the front of the book.
September 23, 2023
5 stars. Sci-fi meets fantasy with alien space explorers, magic, orcs, humans and elves. A wild save-the-world-adventure with a smack talking alien, a muscly misunderstood hero and a sensual bookish elf. An amazing story that is mission heavy with a sweet opposites-attract, forbidden-love romance woven in. Both the romance and the adventure were done really well, given fair space on the page and were equally entertaining and satisfying, a rare balance.
The world is interesting for sure, there are elements of olde world Earth with horse riding and cloaks, then there are aliens with super tech. Everyone’s speech is surprisingly “now” with speech patterns, contractions and 21st century earth slang and insults. Incongruent, yet surprisingly pleasant.
The beauty of this book is that you get the unexpected, no one really does as you think they should, which keeps things incredibly interesting. There are some terrific twists and turns to the plot and this book remained very interesting throughout the 400+pages. A big book that didn’t feel like it at all, flowed so well with tons of adventure and misfortune cropping up.
Forced proximity, fantasy, alien, orc, elf, adventure quest, m/m, HEA, forbidden romance.
The world is interesting for sure, there are elements of olde world Earth with horse riding and cloaks, then there are aliens with super tech. Everyone’s speech is surprisingly “now” with speech patterns, contractions and 21st century earth slang and insults. Incongruent, yet surprisingly pleasant.
The beauty of this book is that you get the unexpected, no one really does as you think they should, which keeps things incredibly interesting. There are some terrific twists and turns to the plot and this book remained very interesting throughout the 400+pages. A big book that didn’t feel like it at all, flowed so well with tons of adventure and misfortune cropping up.
Forced proximity, fantasy, alien, orc, elf, adventure quest, m/m, HEA, forbidden romance.
August 30, 2023
A Joyfully Jay review.
5 stars
I went into this book with … expectations. A twink elf, a muscular orc, and a sidekick squid monster on a road trip adventure. Instead, I ended up reading a book about how preconceptions and bias can cause someone to overlook the person beneath the masks. This is a lovely story, well written, with well thought out world building and multi-layered characters.
If you like fantasy, complex characters, snarky assholes, and adventure novels, then I strongly recommend this book. For all that the Gyle are alien to the planet, there’s not so much of a focus on the science fiction angle, but there’s enough there to add some flavor. If you give this book a try, I hope you enjoy it (and Grist) as much as I do!
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
5 stars
I went into this book with … expectations. A twink elf, a muscular orc, and a sidekick squid monster on a road trip adventure. Instead, I ended up reading a book about how preconceptions and bias can cause someone to overlook the person beneath the masks. This is a lovely story, well written, with well thought out world building and multi-layered characters.
If you like fantasy, complex characters, snarky assholes, and adventure novels, then I strongly recommend this book. For all that the Gyle are alien to the planet, there’s not so much of a focus on the science fiction angle, but there’s enough there to add some flavor. If you give this book a try, I hope you enjoy it (and Grist) as much as I do!
Read Elizabeth’s review in its entirety here.
December 3, 2023
DNF @ 36%.
The cover is absolutely gorgeous. The plot sounds amazing…. Unfortunately, the characters have no character.
In 156 pages, I would think if Ambrose were going to have any kind of personality, it would be apparent by now. Ambrose thinks that no one could want him for anything but his body because he is hollow inside, and I’m pretty inclined to agree.
The cover is absolutely gorgeous. The plot sounds amazing…. Unfortunately, the characters have no character.
In 156 pages, I would think if Ambrose were going to have any kind of personality, it would be apparent by now. Ambrose thinks that no one could want him for anything but his body because he is hollow inside, and I’m pretty inclined to agree.
January 4, 2024
Everything about this book worked for me.
August 17, 2023
3.5⭐️ rounded up
This book is a unique blend of fantasy adventure and sci-fi! An elf mage (Ambrose), an orc warrior (Kilgore), and a parasitic squid alien (Grist) with psychic powers team up to stop Grist’s people from launching a full invasion.
The adventure portion (which is the majority of the book) is exciting and interesting! It’s such a creative take on fantasy adventure and the world building is done really well.
The romance is unfortunately less successful. There’s plenty of lust (and thigh fucking if that’s your jam) but not much depth to their relationship. At one point Kilgore tells Ambrose he’s beautiful and in Ambrose’s internal dialogue he wishes Kilgore valued something else about him besides the beauty he is often coveted for. We do eventually get that but way too late for me.
This book also has plenty of triggering content so please be careful. There’s SA and flashbacks of CSA and grooming as well as some others but for me those were the most notable and difficult parts to read.
It’s a debut novel and there’s lots of promise here! I think if I hadn’t gotten it from Gay *Romance* Reviews my feelings would’ve been different. I’d still recommend it, but don’t go in expecting much more than a romantic subplot.
I received an advanced copy for review - all opinions are my own.
This book is a unique blend of fantasy adventure and sci-fi! An elf mage (Ambrose), an orc warrior (Kilgore), and a parasitic squid alien (Grist) with psychic powers team up to stop Grist’s people from launching a full invasion.
The adventure portion (which is the majority of the book) is exciting and interesting! It’s such a creative take on fantasy adventure and the world building is done really well.
The romance is unfortunately less successful. There’s plenty of lust (and thigh fucking if that’s your jam) but not much depth to their relationship. At one point Kilgore tells Ambrose he’s beautiful and in Ambrose’s internal dialogue he wishes Kilgore valued something else about him besides the beauty he is often coveted for. We do eventually get that but way too late for me.
This book also has plenty of triggering content so please be careful. There’s SA and flashbacks of CSA and grooming as well as some others but for me those were the most notable and difficult parts to read.
It’s a debut novel and there’s lots of promise here! I think if I hadn’t gotten it from Gay *Romance* Reviews my feelings would’ve been different. I’d still recommend it, but don’t go in expecting much more than a romantic subplot.
I received an advanced copy for review - all opinions are my own.
September 12, 2024
«My lover. My protector. Kilgore was his, and they satisfied each other’s bodies and souls like no one else could. Paradise on earth. As long as he was in Kilgore’s arms, he was home.»
December 1, 2024
I can't believe how good this book is, and how few ratings it has. Truly, it's a fantastic mashup of a fantasy/monster/sci-fi story, with some great world-building and some very unique character arcs and storyline. I enjoyed the whole thing, start to finish. Lots of unexpected moments and a good heaping dose of hurt/comfort, my favorite. I would love to read more in this world or in this style by the author.
February 13, 2024
This book had so much potential, but ended up falling flat. It definitely gave off “I exist for the spice only” vibes. I came really close to DNF this a few times, but I don’t know when to quit.
There was nothing about any of the characters that made me get attached, and they were also pretty flat and one-dimensional as well. Sometimes they were just straight up cringy or said something cringy. The romance between the two leads felt forced and inorganic.
The world building could have been really cool, but that fell flat as well. If the book spent more time focusing on the actual storyline and flushing out the world, not just making up spice, it would’ve made for a really interesting story. I also thought the pace in this was way too fast, especially between the two male characters. The story has good bones, it just needed to be flushed out more.
There was nothing about any of the characters that made me get attached, and they were also pretty flat and one-dimensional as well. Sometimes they were just straight up cringy or said something cringy. The romance between the two leads felt forced and inorganic.
The world building could have been really cool, but that fell flat as well. If the book spent more time focusing on the actual storyline and flushing out the world, not just making up spice, it would’ve made for a really interesting story. I also thought the pace in this was way too fast, especially between the two male characters. The story has good bones, it just needed to be flushed out more.
October 6, 2024
DNF 26% 🥱🥱
August 16, 2023
What a story! I read a lot in the MM Fantasy genre and certainly Monsters & Mind Games was one of the best.
Ambrose is such a real, relatable character, Kilgore is the sweetest orc ever, and Grist... Grist steals the show with his chaos. His duality was amazing: in some chapters, I'd be seething at him, while in others, he seemed the sanest, wisestperson sapient being in the room. He played with my feelings right to the end. I loved to follow those characters as they grew.
Also, the plot is top-notch and some of the twists blew my mind.
Disclaimer: I read this book while in beta but got no compensation for it besides the pleasure of reading it.
Ambrose is such a real, relatable character, Kilgore is the sweetest orc ever, and Grist... Grist steals the show with his chaos. His duality was amazing: in some chapters, I'd be seething at him, while in others, he seemed the sanest, wisest
Also, the plot is top-notch and some of the twists blew my mind.
Disclaimer: I read this book while in beta but got no compensation for it besides the pleasure of reading it.
September 2, 2023
Ambrose/Kilgore and a snarky Grist!
I had fun reading this book. Ambrose is a cute student mage in his last year of school. Kilgore is the hero Orc who saved the princess. Grist is the snarky alien who is a traitor to his kind.
There was a lot of great world building in the book. Grist is so funny, he is such a great character. I kind of want him to have his happy ending too but ummm maybe I don't want to read about it. He doesn't sound all that attractive. Hahahah. I love that they are going on this quest to save the human world from the alien invasion.
Too fun. Great read.
I had fun reading this book. Ambrose is a cute student mage in his last year of school. Kilgore is the hero Orc who saved the princess. Grist is the snarky alien who is a traitor to his kind.
There was a lot of great world building in the book. Grist is so funny, he is such a great character. I kind of want him to have his happy ending too but ummm maybe I don't want to read about it. He doesn't sound all that attractive. Hahahah. I love that they are going on this quest to save the human world from the alien invasion.
Too fun. Great read.
January 5, 2025
This review is a monster. Never have I used so many quotes from a book in my reviews, but you just have to see it to believe it. I hit the character limit before I even finished. I can't believe this book is rated as highly as it is, nor can I believe that none of the less glowing reviews say anything about the truly gobsmacking amount of real life racism here. Like, orc romances are classically marinated in bigotry, but this one might take the cake. The rest of this review is 100% spoilers, and consists of notes made during my nasty, nasty reading journey.
Oi vey. Here we go.
🧝♂️Fantasy realm has become Actually Catholic and elves jerk off to Saint Sebastian based based based
🧝♂️[The human was dark-skinned and taut with muscle, a stark contrast to Ambrose’s pale elvish skin] Ruh roh! Not the implications of whiteness being attributed to elves as a whole, bestie!!
🧝♂️The black human dude being a bully and sexually cruel to the lily-white protagonist is certainly a choice that was made. Usually orc romances are pretty on the nose with their racism, but this was immediately unambiguous. Real black man: bad, so ostensibly, fantasy-black man: good. Let's find out. Let's take Ibuprofen together.
🧝[“The only place most humans ever see an elf is in a brothel. You mustn’t feed into their assumptions that our people are easy or… oversexed.”] WHAT. But also, why not? If it's true, and the elf species is actually crazy horned up all the time, why not just accept it as a cultural norm? Pathologize it or something, all the kids are doing that these days. But if it's NOT true, what a bizarre stereotype. What started it? Why are most elves only found in brothels? Only time will tell.
🧝♂️When the headmaster, another elf, realizes there's sexual bullying going on, it's awesome that the perpetrator is held accountable for his actions and faces appropriate consequences.
Jk the headmaster just openly plots to fail the bully's exams on purpose. Literally why? You don't need to do underhanded shit that can easily be proven, you're the headmaster, and this dude is tormenting another student. Just expel him you fucking weirdo.
🧝♂️I'm not sure why the author is hiding behind their own names for clear Dungeons & Dragons races and terms. Just Google what is and isn't public domain, buddy, it's okay.
🧝♂️"Greenskins" white people will do anything to create more racism. We reach for it like flowers toward the sun. If I can be vulnerable with you for a moment, we probably didn't need fantasy slurs in this book where our MC has always lusted after an orc... but uses a derogatory term for orcs in his own head. And has spent his whole life training to fight orcs. I can't imagine there's gonna be weird racial fetish shit in an extra bad way. Orcs just can't catch a break. Anyway, thank you for holding space for me to share my truth.
🧝♂️Oh, it's not literal Catholicism, just Catholicism reskinned. Weird, given that we immediately hear the term capital G "God", and our protag jerked off to Saint Sebastian, but I guess in for a penny in for a pound. Adonia instead of the Christian God, gyle instead of mind-flayer, etc and so forth.
🧝♂️Interesting that this guy learns his father died in war, and he cares waaaay more about being auto-graduated by the weird headmaster. I'm not close to my dad either, so this could be based, but for some reason, I kind of doubt it.
🧝♂️A human princess can't get married because she was once abducted by orcs and thus presumed to have been "tarnished". I wonder where ideas like this could have come from. No, what am I saying, surely this book exists in a vacuum and all the things believed of orcs are entirely divorced from preconceived notions about certain races. Orcs are only ever written by the most responsible of white hands.
🧝[Was that why he’d been chosen—his open-mindedness towards greenskins?] Maybe this is satire and I'm being punked. That would be my fondest dream.
🧝♂️[As an elf who often found himself on the outside, Ambrose had more sympathy than most than a non-human creature could be good.] The misspelling of "than" instead of "that", paired with casually calling orcs "creatures"... there's never been a better combination since shrimp and white wine, and I doubt there ever will be again.
🧝♂️[This had to be Kilgore himself—no other orc in history had allied himself with humans.] NONE? EVER??? It would be nice if we discover that the protag is comically naive and stupid, a beautiful case of unreliable narration, but he's being promoted by the literal king of the land for some unknown fucking reason - he got good grades and his dad died?? - so I doubt I'll have that reprieve.
🧝♂️[Tribal orcs saw no need for horses or couldn’t manage their upkeep.] "Those savage beasts either didn't care about horses or were too fucking incompetent to care for them." I'm sooooo glad this guy is going to get with an orc. Not just One Of The Good Ones, but ostensibly the ONLY Good One.
🧝♂️[“I know I’m young, but I was top of my class,” he said.
Kilgore snorted in derision. “Class?”
Of course. Book smarts probably didn’t mean much to an orc.] I love how, instead of assuming he was being scoffed at because he's basically a kid fresh out of school and put on a dangerous mission, it must be because orcs have no respect for intelligence and knowledge. Which could mean nothing, if you're a fucking idiot.
🧝This bitch played Baldur's Gate 3, and said, "Not enough racism. I can fix that."
🧝♂️[Ambrose’s bowels turned to water just thinking about it.] I've never read SJM's books because I love myself, but I'm pretty sure I've heard other reviewers make fun of her for the "bowels turning to water" line, and I've never seen it elsewhere, which leads me to the conclusion that this racist author is a fan of the other racist author. Can you believe.
🧝♂️[“A mule,” Ambrose said. The slur was Ambrose’s preferred term; it tended to end conversations about his lineage faster when he didn’t claim any pride in it.
“A what?”
“Half-elf,” Ambrose explained. “My father was human.”] Me when I make as many fantasy slurs as possible so I can get a rush from using derogatory language without getting in trouble. (Follow-up: he calls himself a "halfie" just a couple paragraphs later)
🧝♂️Kilgore the orc is a certified baddie. Lighting a candle for him that he has to end up with a weird racist elf kid.
🧝♂️[His blond hair was the most common color for elves] holy shit we're really doing it. One more step and we're full blown Aryan elf truthers.
🧝♂️[Common stereotypes about elves included being androgynous, mysterious, and shifty. By human standards, they practiced sexual taboos and worshiped pagan gods. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, they commanded high prices in city brothels. This meant elves were also assumed to be promiscuous: wicked tempters and sexual deviants who stole virtuous husbands away from their wives. Ambrose felt guilty for living up to the oversexed cliché. No matter how often his mother and Omry lectured him about propriety, his elven blood ran hot.] So, here's the thing about that last sentence: you can't tell us it's a stereotype and then claim it as a point of fact. Do you see what I'm saying? No? This seems perfectly reasonable and hot, actually? I'll guess I'll just shut the fuck up, then
🧝♂️[Fifty years earlier, humans and elves couldn’t legally intermarry.] Fantasy apartheid is crazy.
🧝♂️I hope to god this is an expertly crafted unreliable narrator situation. The last time I held out this hope through the desperate need to DNF, I was disappointed beyond repair. Perhaps this time will be different.
🧝♂️This book is making me homophobic. I can honestly say I wish Kilgore would get with the princess.
🧝♂️We're even calling magic "the tapestry's weave". We're not beating the BG3 allegations any time soon.
🧝♂️[His bowels cramped with fear.] Get some fantasy Tums, brother, idk how to help you.
🧝♂️It takes several chapters for the protag to actually spare a thought for his dead father. Like, way too long, considering they seem to have been fairly close. And even though in the first chapter it sounded like his father had JUST died, now it kind of sounds like it happened a while ago? Like fun am I gonna go back and double check.
🧝♂️I've been playing a fun game with myself while I read this. The rules are simple: Every time the urge to compliment something about this book arises, read one more page. If there's nothing objectionable written by that time, say the nice thing.
Well, this was the most recent result of this game and my winnings (jk nobody is winning here): [Ambrose made the mistake of mentioning his fascination with Kilgore to him once, and the headmaster had ranted at length about how orcs were depraved sexual predators. He cautioned if Ambrose was ever captured as a prisoner of war, it was better to end his own life rather than die of injuries from getting raped by every orc in the tribe. The lecture was supposed to scare him straight, but through loneliness and lust, the story warped into yet another taboo kink.]
🧝♂️Okay, page 56-57 and we've got our first hint that maybe this actually will be a learning journey, and not just an unchecked racist keysmash. I'm hoping this builds on itself and I can point to the rest of this review and go, phew! I WANT to eat crow. Please feed it to me. (Spoiler: It did not get better.)
🧝♂️This dude is constantly puking and shitting. It's actually impressive how much these things come up. Less impressive: I can't stop thinking about how there's no way this twink is washing his hands. Diarrhea booty in the woods and he's horny all the time and his one nice robe has a puke stain on it. This boy belongs in a cave.
🧝♂️Alright, as per the rules of my own self-imposed game, I can finally say it: the writing in this is good. It's engaging and interesting and fun and quick. Reading this book is like swan diving off a waterfall and hitting every racist boulder on the way down.
🧝♂️[“I never felt like She was judging me for who I love. But the church says it’s wrong, so I still try to hide it.”] I genuinely have no idea if this is about him liking men or him liking orcs. At least the orc thing would make sense, but it's literally just Catholicism, so maybe it's about being gay. This is a fantasy porn novel, who fucking cares if two men are into each other.
🧝♂️[He was immediately slammed with physical discomfort: a stone in his stomach, his intestines cramping with the sudden urge to stress-shit.] Guys, it's all coming together. I think this might be the poop deli.
🧝♂️[“Evil is a fiction. Results are what matter.”] Okay, this is a slay. This belongs in a DnD diagram explaining Lawful Evil.
🧝♂️[Orc warriors flooded outside, bellowing to each other in their unfathomable tongue.] This is the most comically othering way I've seen a foreign language described. "Unfathomable tongue." Literally how I feel about the French.
🧝♂️It's so weird how when this fantasy references any god but capital G, Adonia, they are called "pagan". Frankly, it's also weird how the not-mind-flayer keeps calling Adonia fake, too. It's like listening to the most insufferable Atheist and Catholic you've ever met in real life just argue at each other in a coliseum where they're trapped until one of them is blessedly silenced by death.
🧝♂️The protag starts dry heaving at one point, which I was planning to compliment - how refreshing it was that nothing came out of either end of this twink - but then, just a few pages later: [Ambrose spat, but his mouth was so dry, he only managed to eject a speckle of phlegm onto his own chin.] For the love of Christ, get this guy a bib and a diaper. At this point, I'm reasonably sure the author has a fetish, and not one of my favorites.
Well. I guess it could just be that the author believes that bodily function shock value = realism = great writing, but I like the fetish idea better. Keeps me mean. Keeps me young.
🧝♂️Not ideal that orcs, classically compared to and modeled after racist black stereotypes, are turned into a bunch of slaves here - and they do use that word.
🧝♂️I feel so torn about the main character. I just love to hate him. I can understand why he is the shitty way he is, yet I want to beat him to death with my hands and feet. He's naive and selfish and a bigot, and I wouldn't feel so fucking crazy about it if his love interest didn't deserve better. Having such a flawed main character is GREAT. The problem is that his naivety and selfishness and bigotry is all too real, given the copy-paste Catholic church aspect and the direct link between orcs and anti-black racism. So like, a flawed character you can appreciate through experiencing their growth just becomes an intolerable Foxbrained cracker from real life who has to have a personal tie to a disenfranchised group to finally see them as people. I certainly don't root for them in real life, so why the fuck would I do it in fantasy that directly models real life? I'm rooting for him to get a fucking grip.
🧝♂️If I had known what to expect going in, I would have started a counter for a bunch of weird shit. How many times we have to read the MC calling the orc love interest "creature" would be among them.
🧝♂️[“I guess you didn’t cook much growing up?”
“Nah. That’s women’s work,” Kilgore said. “For orcs, I mean!” he added quickly.] "That's lowly work for lowly women. It doesn't apply to you and yours, my Aryan prince." Orc-misogynist yet avowed non-racist Kilgore. That's quite the feat. I'd actually love to get a black woman's take on this fun fantasy play at misogynoir, but not more than I'd hate to subject them to this book.
🧝♂️It's actually so cool and epic that the protagonist is glad his love interest's first love was brutally murdered. That level of jealousy is super justified, given that he's put this guy on a One Of The Good Ones pedestal while fetishizing him for like, his whole childhood, AND they've spent like four whole days traveling together. For two of those, his love interest was even awake! It's another fun example on the long long list of "things the protagonist feels a little bad about feeling, which makes the fact that he feels those bad things so strongly okay". Not to be a full blown thought police, but it's a bad look to be secretly reveling in your LI's misery while he weeps over his lost beloved. But maybe I'm the crazy one. God, I hope there's character development somewhere in the next couple hundred pages, for Kilgore's sake.
🧝♂️ Oh my god, it gets worse.
[Ambrose put his arms around him, stroking his back and rocking him as the orc bawled into his shoulder. Ambrose’s robe went soggy with tears. He tried to console himself that Kilgore cared for him enough to share this sacred grief. In the face of this terrifying tidal wave of emotion, he suspected it was the first time Kilgore had confided the truth to anyone. He held the great beautiful beast in his arms for a long time until the fire of Kilgore’s grief had burned down to smoldering ashes.
I can never compete with Kilgore’s great love. Especially after what I’ve done…] Consoling yourself with what this means for you while this dude is weeping over his murdered love... calling him a BEAST... moping over this competition you've put yourself in with a dead man when you've known this guy for a few days and he fucked you one (1) time... somebody come get this white baby. He needs a few more years in the oven. The author is racist by sheer virtue of siccing her twink on Kilgore.
🧝♂️[Who cared if Kilgore had some oafish orc lover in the past? It was time to show him what elvish sensuality could do.] I have to believe character growth will come. I have to.
🧝♂️["the manly scent of him."] This is nothing. Less than nothing. One of my biggest pet peeves - not just because of the usual Pointlessly Gendered reasons, but honestly, mostly because it's lazy. I'd prefer to hear he smells like bog stench rather than have to see his scent described as "manly" or "male".
🧝♂️My brother in fantasy Christ managed not to throw up when giving sloppy orc toppy made him gag. That's growth 🩷
🧝[The memories came back of orc women screaming. Squid larvae stretched taut over the faces of once-proud orc warriors. Greenskin toddlers cut down by their own fathers. And Ambrose had let it happen. Had made it happen. He grimaced. Kilgore wouldn’t comfort Ambrose if he knew the truth; he would revile him.] I mean, even if he wouldn't, I do. Can this motherfucker feel one bad thing without wallowing in self-pity or using a slur?
🧝♂️I feel like I'm going insane when I read Kilgore's dialogue. Most of the time, he talks normally, but then at random moments, he takes on an unga bunga dialect. I know he's described as being proficient, but not fluent, but it's still so bizarre. I would get it if he started speaking that way because of high stress or emotion making it more difficult to translate, but the book has not addressed that when it's happened thus far, and that feels like something the protagonist would make note of.
🧝♂️[In his heart, Ambrose knew he was a pretty-looking fruit with a rotten core. He could only expect approval for his performance—academic, military, or sexual. Cooking for Kilgore had been a nice chance to offer something tangible. If the orc looked close enough, he’d realize his lover was a hollow man, but who didn’t appreciate a good cook, a good lay?] This sentiment keeps coming up a lot. It is understandable, but regrettably, it is also intolerable. You have the power to change this, to do anything to alleviate these feelings, but you spend the whole time pitying yourself and doubling down on the lie you're building the foundation for your relationship on. I just don't care. I want to, but I don't.
🧝♂️Not to be a shrieking harpy, but one of these two characters had a thorough hot bath before engaging in sexual activity, and it's NOT the one with chronic diarrhea who's lubing his asshole up to get boned. Which could mean nothing.
🧝♂️Orcs canonically do not kiss or have anal sex. This is the most galaxy brained way I've ever seen a book twist to suit the protagonist's whims since The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Sure, Kilgore had an orc beloved once, but don't worry: they never kissed, and were never inside one another, so he wasn't "sullied by orcs".
I read up until 69% of the way through (unintentional, but kind of funny) before quitting. Kilgore forgives MC's terrible crimes without any effort. There won't be any growth, you stupid slut. There won't even be character. Who the fuck is rating this above a 3? White women. We really must be stopped.
Oi vey. Here we go.
🧝♂️Fantasy realm has become Actually Catholic and elves jerk off to Saint Sebastian based based based
🧝♂️[The human was dark-skinned and taut with muscle, a stark contrast to Ambrose’s pale elvish skin] Ruh roh! Not the implications of whiteness being attributed to elves as a whole, bestie!!
🧝♂️The black human dude being a bully and sexually cruel to the lily-white protagonist is certainly a choice that was made. Usually orc romances are pretty on the nose with their racism, but this was immediately unambiguous. Real black man: bad, so ostensibly, fantasy-black man: good. Let's find out. Let's take Ibuprofen together.
🧝[“The only place most humans ever see an elf is in a brothel. You mustn’t feed into their assumptions that our people are easy or… oversexed.”] WHAT. But also, why not? If it's true, and the elf species is actually crazy horned up all the time, why not just accept it as a cultural norm? Pathologize it or something, all the kids are doing that these days. But if it's NOT true, what a bizarre stereotype. What started it? Why are most elves only found in brothels? Only time will tell.
🧝♂️When the headmaster, another elf, realizes there's sexual bullying going on, it's awesome that the perpetrator is held accountable for his actions and faces appropriate consequences.
Jk the headmaster just openly plots to fail the bully's exams on purpose. Literally why? You don't need to do underhanded shit that can easily be proven, you're the headmaster, and this dude is tormenting another student. Just expel him you fucking weirdo.
🧝♂️I'm not sure why the author is hiding behind their own names for clear Dungeons & Dragons races and terms. Just Google what is and isn't public domain, buddy, it's okay.
🧝♂️"Greenskins" white people will do anything to create more racism. We reach for it like flowers toward the sun. If I can be vulnerable with you for a moment, we probably didn't need fantasy slurs in this book where our MC has always lusted after an orc... but uses a derogatory term for orcs in his own head. And has spent his whole life training to fight orcs. I can't imagine there's gonna be weird racial fetish shit in an extra bad way. Orcs just can't catch a break. Anyway, thank you for holding space for me to share my truth.
🧝♂️Oh, it's not literal Catholicism, just Catholicism reskinned. Weird, given that we immediately hear the term capital G "God", and our protag jerked off to Saint Sebastian, but I guess in for a penny in for a pound. Adonia instead of the Christian God, gyle instead of mind-flayer, etc and so forth.
🧝♂️Interesting that this guy learns his father died in war, and he cares waaaay more about being auto-graduated by the weird headmaster. I'm not close to my dad either, so this could be based, but for some reason, I kind of doubt it.
🧝♂️A human princess can't get married because she was once abducted by orcs and thus presumed to have been "tarnished". I wonder where ideas like this could have come from. No, what am I saying, surely this book exists in a vacuum and all the things believed of orcs are entirely divorced from preconceived notions about certain races. Orcs are only ever written by the most responsible of white hands.
🧝[Was that why he’d been chosen—his open-mindedness towards greenskins?] Maybe this is satire and I'm being punked. That would be my fondest dream.
🧝♂️[As an elf who often found himself on the outside, Ambrose had more sympathy than most than a non-human creature could be good.] The misspelling of "than" instead of "that", paired with casually calling orcs "creatures"... there's never been a better combination since shrimp and white wine, and I doubt there ever will be again.
🧝♂️[This had to be Kilgore himself—no other orc in history had allied himself with humans.] NONE? EVER??? It would be nice if we discover that the protag is comically naive and stupid, a beautiful case of unreliable narration, but he's being promoted by the literal king of the land for some unknown fucking reason - he got good grades and his dad died?? - so I doubt I'll have that reprieve.
🧝♂️[Tribal orcs saw no need for horses or couldn’t manage their upkeep.] "Those savage beasts either didn't care about horses or were too fucking incompetent to care for them." I'm sooooo glad this guy is going to get with an orc. Not just One Of The Good Ones, but ostensibly the ONLY Good One.
🧝♂️[“I know I’m young, but I was top of my class,” he said.
Kilgore snorted in derision. “Class?”
Of course. Book smarts probably didn’t mean much to an orc.] I love how, instead of assuming he was being scoffed at because he's basically a kid fresh out of school and put on a dangerous mission, it must be because orcs have no respect for intelligence and knowledge. Which could mean nothing, if you're a fucking idiot.
🧝This bitch played Baldur's Gate 3, and said, "Not enough racism. I can fix that."
🧝♂️[Ambrose’s bowels turned to water just thinking about it.] I've never read SJM's books because I love myself, but I'm pretty sure I've heard other reviewers make fun of her for the "bowels turning to water" line, and I've never seen it elsewhere, which leads me to the conclusion that this racist author is a fan of the other racist author. Can you believe.
🧝♂️[“A mule,” Ambrose said. The slur was Ambrose’s preferred term; it tended to end conversations about his lineage faster when he didn’t claim any pride in it.
“A what?”
“Half-elf,” Ambrose explained. “My father was human.”] Me when I make as many fantasy slurs as possible so I can get a rush from using derogatory language without getting in trouble. (Follow-up: he calls himself a "halfie" just a couple paragraphs later)
🧝♂️Kilgore the orc is a certified baddie. Lighting a candle for him that he has to end up with a weird racist elf kid.
🧝♂️[His blond hair was the most common color for elves] holy shit we're really doing it. One more step and we're full blown Aryan elf truthers.
🧝♂️[Common stereotypes about elves included being androgynous, mysterious, and shifty. By human standards, they practiced sexual taboos and worshiped pagan gods. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, they commanded high prices in city brothels. This meant elves were also assumed to be promiscuous: wicked tempters and sexual deviants who stole virtuous husbands away from their wives. Ambrose felt guilty for living up to the oversexed cliché. No matter how often his mother and Omry lectured him about propriety, his elven blood ran hot.] So, here's the thing about that last sentence: you can't tell us it's a stereotype and then claim it as a point of fact. Do you see what I'm saying? No? This seems perfectly reasonable and hot, actually? I'll guess I'll just shut the fuck up, then
🧝♂️[Fifty years earlier, humans and elves couldn’t legally intermarry.] Fantasy apartheid is crazy.
🧝♂️I hope to god this is an expertly crafted unreliable narrator situation. The last time I held out this hope through the desperate need to DNF, I was disappointed beyond repair. Perhaps this time will be different.
🧝♂️This book is making me homophobic. I can honestly say I wish Kilgore would get with the princess.
🧝♂️We're even calling magic "the tapestry's weave". We're not beating the BG3 allegations any time soon.
🧝♂️[His bowels cramped with fear.] Get some fantasy Tums, brother, idk how to help you.
🧝♂️It takes several chapters for the protag to actually spare a thought for his dead father. Like, way too long, considering they seem to have been fairly close. And even though in the first chapter it sounded like his father had JUST died, now it kind of sounds like it happened a while ago? Like fun am I gonna go back and double check.
🧝♂️I've been playing a fun game with myself while I read this. The rules are simple: Every time the urge to compliment something about this book arises, read one more page. If there's nothing objectionable written by that time, say the nice thing.
Well, this was the most recent result of this game and my winnings (jk nobody is winning here): [Ambrose made the mistake of mentioning his fascination with Kilgore to him once, and the headmaster had ranted at length about how orcs were depraved sexual predators. He cautioned if Ambrose was ever captured as a prisoner of war, it was better to end his own life rather than die of injuries from getting raped by every orc in the tribe. The lecture was supposed to scare him straight, but through loneliness and lust, the story warped into yet another taboo kink.]
🧝♂️Okay, page 56-57 and we've got our first hint that maybe this actually will be a learning journey, and not just an unchecked racist keysmash. I'm hoping this builds on itself and I can point to the rest of this review and go, phew! I WANT to eat crow. Please feed it to me. (Spoiler: It did not get better.)
🧝♂️This dude is constantly puking and shitting. It's actually impressive how much these things come up. Less impressive: I can't stop thinking about how there's no way this twink is washing his hands. Diarrhea booty in the woods and he's horny all the time and his one nice robe has a puke stain on it. This boy belongs in a cave.
🧝♂️Alright, as per the rules of my own self-imposed game, I can finally say it: the writing in this is good. It's engaging and interesting and fun and quick. Reading this book is like swan diving off a waterfall and hitting every racist boulder on the way down.
🧝♂️[“I never felt like She was judging me for who I love. But the church says it’s wrong, so I still try to hide it.”] I genuinely have no idea if this is about him liking men or him liking orcs. At least the orc thing would make sense, but it's literally just Catholicism, so maybe it's about being gay. This is a fantasy porn novel, who fucking cares if two men are into each other.
🧝♂️[He was immediately slammed with physical discomfort: a stone in his stomach, his intestines cramping with the sudden urge to stress-shit.] Guys, it's all coming together. I think this might be the poop deli.
🧝♂️[“Evil is a fiction. Results are what matter.”] Okay, this is a slay. This belongs in a DnD diagram explaining Lawful Evil.
🧝♂️[Orc warriors flooded outside, bellowing to each other in their unfathomable tongue.] This is the most comically othering way I've seen a foreign language described. "Unfathomable tongue." Literally how I feel about the French.
🧝♂️It's so weird how when this fantasy references any god but capital G, Adonia, they are called "pagan". Frankly, it's also weird how the not-mind-flayer keeps calling Adonia fake, too. It's like listening to the most insufferable Atheist and Catholic you've ever met in real life just argue at each other in a coliseum where they're trapped until one of them is blessedly silenced by death.
🧝♂️The protag starts dry heaving at one point, which I was planning to compliment - how refreshing it was that nothing came out of either end of this twink - but then, just a few pages later: [Ambrose spat, but his mouth was so dry, he only managed to eject a speckle of phlegm onto his own chin.] For the love of Christ, get this guy a bib and a diaper. At this point, I'm reasonably sure the author has a fetish, and not one of my favorites.
Well. I guess it could just be that the author believes that bodily function shock value = realism = great writing, but I like the fetish idea better. Keeps me mean. Keeps me young.
🧝♂️Not ideal that orcs, classically compared to and modeled after racist black stereotypes, are turned into a bunch of slaves here - and they do use that word.
🧝♂️I feel so torn about the main character. I just love to hate him. I can understand why he is the shitty way he is, yet I want to beat him to death with my hands and feet. He's naive and selfish and a bigot, and I wouldn't feel so fucking crazy about it if his love interest didn't deserve better. Having such a flawed main character is GREAT. The problem is that his naivety and selfishness and bigotry is all too real, given the copy-paste Catholic church aspect and the direct link between orcs and anti-black racism. So like, a flawed character you can appreciate through experiencing their growth just becomes an intolerable Foxbrained cracker from real life who has to have a personal tie to a disenfranchised group to finally see them as people. I certainly don't root for them in real life, so why the fuck would I do it in fantasy that directly models real life? I'm rooting for him to get a fucking grip.
🧝♂️If I had known what to expect going in, I would have started a counter for a bunch of weird shit. How many times we have to read the MC calling the orc love interest "creature" would be among them.
🧝♂️[“I guess you didn’t cook much growing up?”
“Nah. That’s women’s work,” Kilgore said. “For orcs, I mean!” he added quickly.] "That's lowly work for lowly women. It doesn't apply to you and yours, my Aryan prince." Orc-misogynist yet avowed non-racist Kilgore. That's quite the feat. I'd actually love to get a black woman's take on this fun fantasy play at misogynoir, but not more than I'd hate to subject them to this book.
🧝♂️It's actually so cool and epic that the protagonist is glad his love interest's first love was brutally murdered. That level of jealousy is super justified, given that he's put this guy on a One Of The Good Ones pedestal while fetishizing him for like, his whole childhood, AND they've spent like four whole days traveling together. For two of those, his love interest was even awake! It's another fun example on the long long list of "things the protagonist feels a little bad about feeling, which makes the fact that he feels those bad things so strongly okay". Not to be a full blown thought police, but it's a bad look to be secretly reveling in your LI's misery while he weeps over his lost beloved. But maybe I'm the crazy one. God, I hope there's character development somewhere in the next couple hundred pages, for Kilgore's sake.
🧝♂️ Oh my god, it gets worse.
[Ambrose put his arms around him, stroking his back and rocking him as the orc bawled into his shoulder. Ambrose’s robe went soggy with tears. He tried to console himself that Kilgore cared for him enough to share this sacred grief. In the face of this terrifying tidal wave of emotion, he suspected it was the first time Kilgore had confided the truth to anyone. He held the great beautiful beast in his arms for a long time until the fire of Kilgore’s grief had burned down to smoldering ashes.
I can never compete with Kilgore’s great love. Especially after what I’ve done…] Consoling yourself with what this means for you while this dude is weeping over his murdered love... calling him a BEAST... moping over this competition you've put yourself in with a dead man when you've known this guy for a few days and he fucked you one (1) time... somebody come get this white baby. He needs a few more years in the oven. The author is racist by sheer virtue of siccing her twink on Kilgore.
🧝♂️[Who cared if Kilgore had some oafish orc lover in the past? It was time to show him what elvish sensuality could do.] I have to believe character growth will come. I have to.
🧝♂️["the manly scent of him."] This is nothing. Less than nothing. One of my biggest pet peeves - not just because of the usual Pointlessly Gendered reasons, but honestly, mostly because it's lazy. I'd prefer to hear he smells like bog stench rather than have to see his scent described as "manly" or "male".
🧝♂️My brother in fantasy Christ managed not to throw up when giving sloppy orc toppy made him gag. That's growth 🩷
🧝[The memories came back of orc women screaming. Squid larvae stretched taut over the faces of once-proud orc warriors. Greenskin toddlers cut down by their own fathers. And Ambrose had let it happen. Had made it happen. He grimaced. Kilgore wouldn’t comfort Ambrose if he knew the truth; he would revile him.] I mean, even if he wouldn't, I do. Can this motherfucker feel one bad thing without wallowing in self-pity or using a slur?
🧝♂️I feel like I'm going insane when I read Kilgore's dialogue. Most of the time, he talks normally, but then at random moments, he takes on an unga bunga dialect. I know he's described as being proficient, but not fluent, but it's still so bizarre. I would get it if he started speaking that way because of high stress or emotion making it more difficult to translate, but the book has not addressed that when it's happened thus far, and that feels like something the protagonist would make note of.
🧝♂️[In his heart, Ambrose knew he was a pretty-looking fruit with a rotten core. He could only expect approval for his performance—academic, military, or sexual. Cooking for Kilgore had been a nice chance to offer something tangible. If the orc looked close enough, he’d realize his lover was a hollow man, but who didn’t appreciate a good cook, a good lay?] This sentiment keeps coming up a lot. It is understandable, but regrettably, it is also intolerable. You have the power to change this, to do anything to alleviate these feelings, but you spend the whole time pitying yourself and doubling down on the lie you're building the foundation for your relationship on. I just don't care. I want to, but I don't.
🧝♂️Not to be a shrieking harpy, but one of these two characters had a thorough hot bath before engaging in sexual activity, and it's NOT the one with chronic diarrhea who's lubing his asshole up to get boned. Which could mean nothing.
🧝♂️Orcs canonically do not kiss or have anal sex. This is the most galaxy brained way I've ever seen a book twist to suit the protagonist's whims since The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Sure, Kilgore had an orc beloved once, but don't worry: they never kissed, and were never inside one another, so he wasn't "sullied by orcs".
I read up until 69% of the way through (unintentional, but kind of funny) before quitting. Kilgore forgives MC's terrible crimes without any effort. There won't be any growth, you stupid slut. There won't even be character. Who the fuck is rating this above a 3? White women. We really must be stopped.
August 12, 2023
Great book. Good combination of smutty and plot. Loved the banter between the trio. Great job Emily!
August 27, 2023
Finally another MM Orc book! I feel like there aren’t many out and this one was definitely a home run. The author immerses you into this magical world, I love the curvy mc elf aspect (again not as many of those out there and I’m HERE for it) with a stoic warrior Orc. I loved how Ambrose already had a thing Kilgore I mean if the guy had a trading card and merch Ambrose would be an avid collector, the fact that Kilgore doesn’t know what to do with that and his awkwardness is adorable. Very creative world building, very cool introducing the Gyle, a magic world invaded by aliens 🤯🤯🤯 super great read can’t wait to see what else the author comes out with in future.
August 19, 2023
So much plot
There is an actual story with all the sex. I really liked the gyle. Grist was a fun character. It must have been fun writing him.
There is an actual story with all the sex. I really liked the gyle. Grist was a fun character. It must have been fun writing him.
October 17, 2023
As someone who loves orcs in general, I was ready for this book. I read this in tandem with a friend of mine since he's a fan of orcs AND mindflayers so this had it all for us. It was a fairly simple read and while the book was visually descriptive, it wasn't complicated or written in a way that requires heavy thought. That being said, there were some parts of the world that I don't really care for. Orcs are all painted as war-like, stupid, and somewhat rapey (one of the characters explains that anal sex is used when you conquer your foes). While I do see this sort of depiction of orcs in a lot of books, one would think that in a consensual romance book where one of the romantic partners IS an orc, things would be a little different. Nope. My only other complaint is that none of the characters change or grow except for MAYBE the mindflayer character, Grist. The main character Ambrose starts out the book as an anxious, overthinking little twink and ends the book the same way. The orc character is an open book from moment one. Even Grist doesn't necessarily change as much as he reveals the backstory that drives him. None of this is an actual problem, per se, but it does make things feel a bit stagnant. Also, as a warning, this book does touch on sexual assault and the resulting trauma, and while that part ends in a satisfying way, it's also not a healthy one. The character cries it out and then it's never touched on again. I understand that the actual plot of the book doesn't allow for them to really work out issues like that since it was a "prevent the end of the world" type thing, but I'm a little tired of using sexual assault as a passing trope that doesn't have any affect on anything else. If the character had actually changed or grown, it would be a different, but no such luck here. Despite these gripes, I did enjoy the ride of this book and the happily ever after. Like eating a snack instead of a meal, it was a mostly satisfying read.
March 12, 2024
Aliens, Ogres, and Elves - Oh My!
I really enjoyed this book! I've been finding a lot of romance lately too heavy on the romance and too light on the plot but this was a really good balance for me.
I really enjoyed this book! I've been finding a lot of romance lately too heavy on the romance and too light on the plot but this was a really good balance for me.
August 14, 2023
Not going to lie, at a bit less than halfway (37%), I was ready to delegate this book to the DNF pile. Morally gray characters are not my thing. And I felt that Grist was taking the last part of Ambrose's innocence away.
The road to a HEA was bumpy. Neither Kilgore nor Ambrose thought they were good enough for each other. But their interactions were mostly sweet. And the passion between the pair was hot, the sex rough. Size difference, enemies to lovers and betrayal. Gist kept me guessing throughout.
If there's a sequel, I'd have to think long and hard before I decided to read it. At 470 pages, this is a bit of a commitment.
The road to a HEA was bumpy. Neither Kilgore nor Ambrose thought they were good enough for each other. But their interactions were mostly sweet. And the passion between the pair was hot, the sex rough. Size difference, enemies to lovers and betrayal. Gist kept me guessing throughout.
If there's a sequel, I'd have to think long and hard before I decided to read it. At 470 pages, this is a bit of a commitment.
August 19, 2023
The setting up of the universe seemed believable. Although the scenario isn't really groundbreaking, I found it to be very interesting because of its novelty. At first glance, this planet appears to be a fairly standard fantasy setting, complete with humans, elves, and orcs, magic, warfare, and antiquated technology. However, the invaders and Grist are actually aliens from another planet, and they have cutting-edge technology. I liked how elves weren't the dominant class like most other minority races, but rather an oppressed underdog group.
This common ground helps Ambrose, a city-born half-elf scholar, and Kilgore, a "barbaric" orc-warrior, bond more closely than they otherwise would have been able to. Even with the inclusion of Grist, a traitor from the invading race, I think they created a fine ragtag band.
In the end, I think the fantastical elements work better than the romantic ones. Although I believe there is potential for more between Ambrose and Kilgore in their relationship, I didn't feel an emotional connection to them at the conclusion of the novel despite their sizzling physical chemistry. There isn't much between them, and I wanted to feel more of a connection between them as this seems to be a standalone.
A few moments and specifics were unnecessary to the story. I found the first chapter to be offbeat, but I guess it helps provide the background for Ambrose's sexual embarrassment and the elves' status in the social order. It also seemed strange that neither Ambrose nor Grist ever learned what happened to his mother or father.Those little issues aside, I will definitely be checking out the author's future works and recommending this to fantasy fans or romance readers who want a narrative with a lot of depth. I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
This common ground helps Ambrose, a city-born half-elf scholar, and Kilgore, a "barbaric" orc-warrior, bond more closely than they otherwise would have been able to. Even with the inclusion of Grist, a traitor from the invading race, I think they created a fine ragtag band.
In the end, I think the fantastical elements work better than the romantic ones. Although I believe there is potential for more between Ambrose and Kilgore in their relationship, I didn't feel an emotional connection to them at the conclusion of the novel despite their sizzling physical chemistry. There isn't much between them, and I wanted to feel more of a connection between them as this seems to be a standalone.
A few moments and specifics were unnecessary to the story. I found the first chapter to be offbeat, but I guess it helps provide the background for Ambrose's sexual embarrassment and the elves' status in the social order. It also seemed strange that neither Ambrose nor Grist ever learned what happened to his mother or father.Those little issues aside, I will definitely be checking out the author's future works and recommending this to fantasy fans or romance readers who want a narrative with a lot of depth. I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
August 19, 2023
Emily Brandish’s Monsters and Mind Games was one of those stories that had me on the fence prior to reading. The unique elements had me curious about what the story would offer, yet I was not entirely convinced I would love it. In the end, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to give it try.
I can certainly see many enjoying Monsters and Mind Games, yet it was one that did not quite work for me. There were interesting elements to the world – the fantasy and science fiction mix certainly kept me intrigued – yet I wanted so much more from the romance element of the story. In fact, this is what made it difficult for me to maintain my investment in the story. It is advertised as a romantic fantasy, which had me anticipating heavy romance. Instead, the romance part of the story felt like lust. More than that, I never felt anything for the characters and their relationship. It all felt a little too forced for me, and these elements lessened my interest in the overall story. I can see many enjoying the relationship and what it adds to the story, yet it took away from the interesting parts for me – which is not what I want from a fantasy that promises me romance.
All in all, I am putting this down as a case of ‘it is me, not the book’. I was on the edge before reading, and that feeling faded for a while but came back. By the end, it was clear the book was not ticking my boxes, yet I can certainly appreciate the unique story and the fact it will appeal to many.
I can certainly see many enjoying Monsters and Mind Games, yet it was one that did not quite work for me. There were interesting elements to the world – the fantasy and science fiction mix certainly kept me intrigued – yet I wanted so much more from the romance element of the story. In fact, this is what made it difficult for me to maintain my investment in the story. It is advertised as a romantic fantasy, which had me anticipating heavy romance. Instead, the romance part of the story felt like lust. More than that, I never felt anything for the characters and their relationship. It all felt a little too forced for me, and these elements lessened my interest in the overall story. I can see many enjoying the relationship and what it adds to the story, yet it took away from the interesting parts for me – which is not what I want from a fantasy that promises me romance.
All in all, I am putting this down as a case of ‘it is me, not the book’. I was on the edge before reading, and that feeling faded for a while but came back. By the end, it was clear the book was not ticking my boxes, yet I can certainly appreciate the unique story and the fact it will appeal to many.
August 15, 2023
I’m going to start here by giving props to the world building— I had never encountered, and did not know I needed, a story with orcs, elves, *and* aliens, but the blend of fantasy and sci-fi ended up being an interesting and immersive experience. It helps, of course, that the characters who inhabit this fictional landscape are interesting in their own rights— Ambrose and Kilgore are recognizable embodiments of their various tropes (half-elf scholar and orc warrior…these are familiar) and also deeply compelling as individuals. I liked their connection, although I would, I think, have liked a bit more of their feelings/relationship— this story shines as a fantasy, whereas I’d describe the romance elements as more of a warm glow— there, but not blindingly so, and definitely not the thing that catches your notice first. Finally, when we talk characters, we have to talk Gris, who is somehow deeply unlikable, funny, and kind of intriguing? I don’t get Gris, at all, but I found him interesting, and I think that’s the point. Overall, there are lots of fascinating elements here, and it adds up to a book that’s well worth checking out.
*I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
*I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
August 23, 2023
Epic sci-fi/fantasy adventure
My first book from this author and it definitely won't be my last.
Amazing world building and wonderful characters.
An alien force that's invading and 3 unassuming hero's.
Ambrose is a mage who's suffered horribly.
He's learned to go along to get along at the expense of his morals.
He's doesn't truly believe he's worthy of love.
Kilgore is an orc who's reviled simply for being an orc.
Grist is an alien who says he wants to help but is not to be trusted.
Neither Ambrose or Kilgore believe they're deserving of the other's love but together they help heal one another.
Grist is not truly evil but he's an exception and once he reveals his truth it's a little bit easier to understand him.
I loved the adventures they all got involved in.
There was plenty of steamy moments between Ambrose and Kilgore along with lots of laughter between them all as well.
My first book from this author and it definitely won't be my last.
Amazing world building and wonderful characters.
An alien force that's invading and 3 unassuming hero's.
Ambrose is a mage who's suffered horribly.
He's learned to go along to get along at the expense of his morals.
He's doesn't truly believe he's worthy of love.
Kilgore is an orc who's reviled simply for being an orc.
Grist is an alien who says he wants to help but is not to be trusted.
Neither Ambrose or Kilgore believe they're deserving of the other's love but together they help heal one another.
Grist is not truly evil but he's an exception and once he reveals his truth it's a little bit easier to understand him.
I loved the adventures they all got involved in.
There was plenty of steamy moments between Ambrose and Kilgore along with lots of laughter between them all as well.
August 22, 2023
Good fantasy/sci fi mix
I liked this book, but it was a LOT of book. Be aware going in and have snacks and water on hand. There’s a fantasy/sci fi crossover with an alien invasion of a fairly standard orcs, elves and humans world. There was a lot of plot and a lot of steam but for me not a whole lot of romance. I enjoyed the world building and the action, but while the lust element was well established between the main characters, I didn’t get much emotional depth to their relationship, and the romance itself was very much a subplot.
I liked the main characters on the whole, but Grist made me want to slap something. I enjoyed the story, but it would have been more to my personal tastes if it had either had more romance, or just minimised the relationship and focused on the action. I imagine it’s absolutely perfect for a lot of people, but not quite my cup of tea.
I liked this book, but it was a LOT of book. Be aware going in and have snacks and water on hand. There’s a fantasy/sci fi crossover with an alien invasion of a fairly standard orcs, elves and humans world. There was a lot of plot and a lot of steam but for me not a whole lot of romance. I enjoyed the world building and the action, but while the lust element was well established between the main characters, I didn’t get much emotional depth to their relationship, and the romance itself was very much a subplot.
I liked the main characters on the whole, but Grist made me want to slap something. I enjoyed the story, but it would have been more to my personal tastes if it had either had more romance, or just minimised the relationship and focused on the action. I imagine it’s absolutely perfect for a lot of people, but not quite my cup of tea.
December 7, 2023
I was hoping for a intriguing tale between an orc and elf- this book did not disappoint! With an invasion of otherworldly beings and the planets only hope coming in the form of a traitor of those same beings, it seems like a lost cause. Honestly I loved this. The characters were fun and you could tell they were still growing as people. With Ambrose coming to terms with his abuse and learning it wasn't and isn't right from none other than the snarky, untrustworthy Grist. Kilgore was a sweetheart-yes a typical protective type but he was good for Ambrose. Frankly I liked Grist, yes he was morally gray and an asshole but he cared in his own way. all in all I encourage you to try this book. Do note that there are some very dark themes of past sexual abuse, slavery and racism(elves and orc's aren't treated the same as humans). Ending with a HEA for everyone.
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