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Stop Being Shy: A Guide On How To Talk To Anyone
Stop Being Shy
is the approachable, science-based, hands-on guide to feeling at home in your skin wherever you are, whether it’s a social gathering, a presentation at work, a romantic date, or needing to assert your boundaries.
From today onward, you no longer have to walk into a room and feel awkward, nervous, or tense. Become a more confident version of yourself!
This quick 10-chapter read, including breathing, affirmation, and visualization exercises, will bring immense relief to anyone struggling with social anxiety and shyness. According to research, 60% of people in Eastern cultures and 40% of those in Western cultures are afflicted by shyness. This means that you are not alone.
Live life more authentically, free from the exhaustion of hiding, overthinking and catastrophizing, and feeling ashamed in situations that don’t seem to affect those around you.
Building a strong sense of self will expand your horizons, allow you to be vulnerable and develop connects, expand your social circle, become a more prominent and well-known member of staff, and gain endless other mental health and well-being benefits.
Inside Stop Being Shy, to identify what triggers your shynessThe power of self-talk and affirmationsHow to step outside of your comfort zone and continue to expand itThe value of mindfulness and self-awarenessThe importance of active listening and building connectionsHow to maintain your boundariesHow to feel confident and comfortable with yourself
Use compassionate, time-tested, science-based techniques to dismantle your shame and anxiety and start living the life you were meant to have.
From today onward, you no longer have to walk into a room and feel awkward, nervous, or tense. Become a more confident version of yourself!
This quick 10-chapter read, including breathing, affirmation, and visualization exercises, will bring immense relief to anyone struggling with social anxiety and shyness. According to research, 60% of people in Eastern cultures and 40% of those in Western cultures are afflicted by shyness. This means that you are not alone.
Live life more authentically, free from the exhaustion of hiding, overthinking and catastrophizing, and feeling ashamed in situations that don’t seem to affect those around you.
Building a strong sense of self will expand your horizons, allow you to be vulnerable and develop connects, expand your social circle, become a more prominent and well-known member of staff, and gain endless other mental health and well-being benefits.
Inside Stop Being Shy, to identify what triggers your shynessThe power of self-talk and affirmationsHow to step outside of your comfort zone and continue to expand itThe value of mindfulness and self-awarenessThe importance of active listening and building connectionsHow to maintain your boundariesHow to feel confident and comfortable with yourself
Use compassionate, time-tested, science-based techniques to dismantle your shame and anxiety and start living the life you were meant to have.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
133 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 30, 2023
37 people are currently reading
1624 people want to read
About the author
Monica Lynn
2 books27 followersMonica Lynn is the must-read author of, “Stop Being Shy” and “Girl! Pick Yourself UP”. She lives in Texas with her amazing army husband, and their two cats Samson and Ahsoka. She loves to spend time reading everything from self-help, romance, and books on herbalism. Her passion for writing came at a later time in life but she plans on creating much more than self-help books.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
June 1, 2024
This book was one of my first Goodreads giveaways I ever won so I’m excited about that and I also feel obligated to write my first review ever. I wish I could be a more positive review.
This book was only a little over 100 pages and yet it took me almost 3 months to read. It just didn’t grab my attention and kind of rambled so much that I thought there was a lot of filler. I also don’t think this book had an editor because there were what seemed autocorrect typos all over this book which took a bit to figure out what the author really meant to say. I’m not normally the one out of my friends to catch bad writing/typos in books but these ones were very obvious.
The author liked talking about how they were shy and the techniques they used. Some of them I didn’t understand how they would be used to overcome shyness or what it had to do with shyness. I think it would’ve been nice to have examples of how to use certain techniques or how conversations would go with other people but in the few parts this did happen, it was pretty vague on what the outcome would be. For example, the author talked about how to start a conversation with someone at a work conference and then at the end said you should suggest collaborating with the person on a work item. Based on most conferences I’ve been to, that doesn’t really make any sense to me so it would have been nice to have a real world example of how this plays out with someone who is shy.
The more I read this book, the more I think I might not be the target audience for it. I gave it two stars because I think maybe some of the suggestions might be helpful to someone who is on the extreme side of the shyness scale and not someone like me who is “situationally shy.”
This book was only a little over 100 pages and yet it took me almost 3 months to read. It just didn’t grab my attention and kind of rambled so much that I thought there was a lot of filler. I also don’t think this book had an editor because there were what seemed autocorrect typos all over this book which took a bit to figure out what the author really meant to say. I’m not normally the one out of my friends to catch bad writing/typos in books but these ones were very obvious.
The author liked talking about how they were shy and the techniques they used. Some of them I didn’t understand how they would be used to overcome shyness or what it had to do with shyness. I think it would’ve been nice to have examples of how to use certain techniques or how conversations would go with other people but in the few parts this did happen, it was pretty vague on what the outcome would be. For example, the author talked about how to start a conversation with someone at a work conference and then at the end said you should suggest collaborating with the person on a work item. Based on most conferences I’ve been to, that doesn’t really make any sense to me so it would have been nice to have a real world example of how this plays out with someone who is shy.
The more I read this book, the more I think I might not be the target audience for it. I gave it two stars because I think maybe some of the suggestions might be helpful to someone who is on the extreme side of the shyness scale and not someone like me who is “situationally shy.”
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February 29, 2024Personal notes:
- Practice Deep Breathing: Remember to take slow, deep breaths to calm nerves in social situations.
- Positive Affirmations: Remind yourself of your worth and motivate yourself regularly.
- Visualization: Imagining positive scenarios or outcomes to uplift mood.
- Expanding Comfort Zone: Push yourself gently outside your comfort zone to grow.
- Self-awareness and Mindfulness: Stay present, be calm, and avoid overthinking.
- Active Listening: Practice mindfulness in social interactions by truly listening to others.
- Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially in moments of struggle.
- Empathy: Understand and empathize with others’ feelings and experiences.
- Seek Treatment: If social anxiety is severe, seek professional help without hesitation.
- Differentiate Anxiety: Recognize normal anxiety from social anxiety to address it effectively.
- Networking: Acknowledge the importance of networking for personal and professional growth.
- Face-to-Face Interactions: Prioritize real-life interactions over digital ones whenever possible.
- Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries aligned with personal values to protect your well-being.
- Assertiveness: Be assertive yet humble in expressing your thoughts and needs.
- Emotional Intelligence: Respond to situations with emotional intelligence and empathy.
- Detachment from Opinions: Don’t dwell on others’ opinions or fear rejection excessively.
- Practice Deep Breathing: Remember to take slow, deep breaths to calm nerves in social situations.
- Positive Affirmations: Remind yourself of your worth and motivate yourself regularly.
- Visualization: Imagining positive scenarios or outcomes to uplift mood.
- Expanding Comfort Zone: Push yourself gently outside your comfort zone to grow.
- Self-awareness and Mindfulness: Stay present, be calm, and avoid overthinking.
- Active Listening: Practice mindfulness in social interactions by truly listening to others.
- Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially in moments of struggle.
- Empathy: Understand and empathize with others’ feelings and experiences.
- Seek Treatment: If social anxiety is severe, seek professional help without hesitation.
- Differentiate Anxiety: Recognize normal anxiety from social anxiety to address it effectively.
- Networking: Acknowledge the importance of networking for personal and professional growth.
- Face-to-Face Interactions: Prioritize real-life interactions over digital ones whenever possible.
- Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries aligned with personal values to protect your well-being.
- Assertiveness: Be assertive yet humble in expressing your thoughts and needs.
- Emotional Intelligence: Respond to situations with emotional intelligence and empathy.
- Detachment from Opinions: Don’t dwell on others’ opinions or fear rejection excessively.
October 28, 2023
Stop Being Shy by author Monica Lynn is a good general introduction to the concept of how shyness affects our daily lives in most aspects. It uses solid professional references from peer reviewed studies to illustrate its various points, which give it credibility.
I made a number of highlights because some of the chapters were more useful to me than others. The steps and guides on cultivating relationships and addressing shyness within myself were the most useful. Less so were the chapters in the latter half of the book on career impacts. These career chapters sounded very much like professional advice you'd hear at a corporate seminar. Which means that its probably accurate, but these parts kind of repelled me, as I'm anti-corporate and I feel that being authentic, which the book recommends, is directly at odds with the career advice portion.
Now, onto the sections I liked. The book comes to a close with the quote: "You are a masterpiece in progress and you should be celebrated as such." This was revelatory for me, as I've never considered myself as anything but a mess. But the book encourages me to reframe this view I have of myself and encourages me to examine how authentic I'm being in daily interactions and in my attempts to find friends. It offers very interesting perspectives and advice on how to handle rejection and how much you should let it affect you. Part of this involves addressing how we view vulnerability, which the book advises is not a weakness, which again, I found fascinating. I won't spoil the insights the author delivers, but suffice it to say that I really opened my mind.
If you're suffering from shyness and find that it's limiting your life, Lynn's book is a solid choice for learning more about where and why these feelings occur, as well as how to address them.
I made a number of highlights because some of the chapters were more useful to me than others. The steps and guides on cultivating relationships and addressing shyness within myself were the most useful. Less so were the chapters in the latter half of the book on career impacts. These career chapters sounded very much like professional advice you'd hear at a corporate seminar. Which means that its probably accurate, but these parts kind of repelled me, as I'm anti-corporate and I feel that being authentic, which the book recommends, is directly at odds with the career advice portion.
Now, onto the sections I liked. The book comes to a close with the quote: "You are a masterpiece in progress and you should be celebrated as such." This was revelatory for me, as I've never considered myself as anything but a mess. But the book encourages me to reframe this view I have of myself and encourages me to examine how authentic I'm being in daily interactions and in my attempts to find friends. It offers very interesting perspectives and advice on how to handle rejection and how much you should let it affect you. Part of this involves addressing how we view vulnerability, which the book advises is not a weakness, which again, I found fascinating. I won't spoil the insights the author delivers, but suffice it to say that I really opened my mind.
If you're suffering from shyness and find that it's limiting your life, Lynn's book is a solid choice for learning more about where and why these feelings occur, as well as how to address them.
October 3, 2023
Monica Lynn has written an informative and likely helpful book for individuals who are shy and perhaps anxious. She begins by pointing out what sparks shy feelings and how to overcome them. Then she gets into areas that include the importance of positivity and expanding our ever-loved comfort zone, as well as how to visualize and keep a journal, how to live in the present, and how to listen with earnestness.
Much of that material encompasses advice I’ve read quite a bit from other self-help authors. The value of Stop Being Shy for many folks ages 30 and over might start in chapter eight, where Lynn writes about the value of socializing both virtually and in person. Her thoughts on this digital age we live in are nuanced, balanced, and sensible.
The book closes out by covering assertiveness (something I sometimes struggle with) and the importance of being vulnerable and authentic. These are all aspects of people’s personalities that we could learn more about, and Lynn offers sound advice with references at the end to back them up.
Lynn herself has had to deal with shyness, so her effort to help others is admirable and heartfelt. There is a well-meaning tone throughout the book, mixed with just the right amount of semi-tough love to get people going.
A small complaint: Many of the paragraphs run way too long and should have been broken up for an easier-on-the-eyes reading experience.
Much of that material encompasses advice I’ve read quite a bit from other self-help authors. The value of Stop Being Shy for many folks ages 30 and over might start in chapter eight, where Lynn writes about the value of socializing both virtually and in person. Her thoughts on this digital age we live in are nuanced, balanced, and sensible.
The book closes out by covering assertiveness (something I sometimes struggle with) and the importance of being vulnerable and authentic. These are all aspects of people’s personalities that we could learn more about, and Lynn offers sound advice with references at the end to back them up.
Lynn herself has had to deal with shyness, so her effort to help others is admirable and heartfelt. There is a well-meaning tone throughout the book, mixed with just the right amount of semi-tough love to get people going.
A small complaint: Many of the paragraphs run way too long and should have been broken up for an easier-on-the-eyes reading experience.
September 8, 2023
“Stop Being Shy: A Guide on How to Talk to Anyone,” by Monica Lynn, caught my eye because I have been shy for most of my life. In the introduction, Lynn assures readers that, according to studies, many of us are shy: 60% of people in Eastern cultures are shy, while 40% of people in western cultures are shy.
Lynn says she is a former shy person who overcame that tendency. She asserts that by following the tips and strategies in her book, you will be equipped to identify your triggers (the social/interpersonal situations that are most apt to make you feel discomfort) and negative patterns. She recommends the use of empowering self-talk, visualization, and affirmations to build self-confidence. Lynn warns that there will be uncomfortable moments in this process, as you put yourself out of your habitual comfort zone. To deal with this, Lynn recommends the reader learn to be mindful and self-aware of the benefits to be gained. Ultimately, the goal is to eliminate the discomfort that shy people experience in social settings. She offers techniques for overcoming triggers, such as meditation and deep breathing. She also offers strategies of expanding your comfort zones. This is a quick read, 109 pages in the ebook, but it is full of information that I believe shy people could find very helpful!
Lynn says she is a former shy person who overcame that tendency. She asserts that by following the tips and strategies in her book, you will be equipped to identify your triggers (the social/interpersonal situations that are most apt to make you feel discomfort) and negative patterns. She recommends the use of empowering self-talk, visualization, and affirmations to build self-confidence. Lynn warns that there will be uncomfortable moments in this process, as you put yourself out of your habitual comfort zone. To deal with this, Lynn recommends the reader learn to be mindful and self-aware of the benefits to be gained. Ultimately, the goal is to eliminate the discomfort that shy people experience in social settings. She offers techniques for overcoming triggers, such as meditation and deep breathing. She also offers strategies of expanding your comfort zones. This is a quick read, 109 pages in the ebook, but it is full of information that I believe shy people could find very helpful!
December 14, 2023
Embracing Life At Its Fullest Potential
I read this book because my husband considers himself a shy person and I wanted to understand him and see how I can empathize and support.
"Since shyness occurs due to feelings of anxiety, self-consciousness, and fear of rejection, the comfort zone becomes a safe haven for those who are shy as they can predict what will happen thus minimizing levels of stress and anxiety."
What really helped me is to understand that shyness is a type of anxiety. That is something I know well.
Another thing that really helped is to find out his comfort zones. He is a man of growth so knowing his comfort zones and slowly expanding them together has been very promising.
"You have to gently coax yourself out of your comfort zone, one task at a time. The first step to take is to set small achievable goals that are designed to have you do things that your shyness usually would stop you from doing."
All in all, this book has really supported both of us in expanding our thoughts and letting of the shyness/anxiety and embracing life at its fullest potential.
I read this book because my husband considers himself a shy person and I wanted to understand him and see how I can empathize and support.
"Since shyness occurs due to feelings of anxiety, self-consciousness, and fear of rejection, the comfort zone becomes a safe haven for those who are shy as they can predict what will happen thus minimizing levels of stress and anxiety."
What really helped me is to understand that shyness is a type of anxiety. That is something I know well.
Another thing that really helped is to find out his comfort zones. He is a man of growth so knowing his comfort zones and slowly expanding them together has been very promising.
"You have to gently coax yourself out of your comfort zone, one task at a time. The first step to take is to set small achievable goals that are designed to have you do things that your shyness usually would stop you from doing."
All in all, this book has really supported both of us in expanding our thoughts and letting of the shyness/anxiety and embracing life at its fullest potential.
April 12, 2024
I listened to a digital audio version of the book. One thing I liked right away was that it took under 3 hours to listen to. The cover of the book drew me to the book it stands out.
One thing that I remember about Stop being so shy is self talk. I am sure that is one area that I need to work on. I am hard on myself. I would never talk to anyone else the way I talk to myself. I tell myself I could not handle if it such and such happened, I will never be able to do do such and such, why can't I ever do anything right. So I will work on more positive self talk.
And another thing that I remember about the book is visualization. That is another thing I struggle with. I always visualize the worst that could happen. And I am sure that makes me anxious. I want to switch that a visualize myself succeeding at least some of the time.
Another thing about the book that I remember is that she talks about online relationships. Though I was not that interested in that part because I don't use the internet for relationships.
So I thought Stop being so shy talked about some interesting things that I hope I will remember in the future.
One thing that I remember about Stop being so shy is self talk. I am sure that is one area that I need to work on. I am hard on myself. I would never talk to anyone else the way I talk to myself. I tell myself I could not handle if it such and such happened, I will never be able to do do such and such, why can't I ever do anything right. So I will work on more positive self talk.
And another thing that I remember about the book is visualization. That is another thing I struggle with. I always visualize the worst that could happen. And I am sure that makes me anxious. I want to switch that a visualize myself succeeding at least some of the time.
Another thing about the book that I remember is that she talks about online relationships. Though I was not that interested in that part because I don't use the internet for relationships.
So I thought Stop being so shy talked about some interesting things that I hope I will remember in the future.
December 23, 2023
Readers of Stop Being Shy: A Guide On How To Talk To Anyone, by Monica Lynn can gain a better understanding of what causes shyness and also learn strategies for overcoming it. Many of the chapters, like Networking and Building Professional Relationships, Socializing in a Digital Age, and Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity share suggestions that are helpful to everyone not just those who are shy.
While I enjoyed this comprehensive read, I would have liked more anecdotes that illustrated the suggestions being made. Still, Lynn provides a comprehensive analysis, helpful suggestions and lots of encouragement. Having been shy herself and having overcome much of her shyness, Lynn has first-hand knowledge of the experience and she shares the steps she took to learn to talk to anyone. As someone who gets nervous speaking in front of crowds and awkward and anxious in certain social gatherings, I found comfort in learning of Lynn’s experiences and noted next steps to take to suffer less discomfort.
While I enjoyed this comprehensive read, I would have liked more anecdotes that illustrated the suggestions being made. Still, Lynn provides a comprehensive analysis, helpful suggestions and lots of encouragement. Having been shy herself and having overcome much of her shyness, Lynn has first-hand knowledge of the experience and she shares the steps she took to learn to talk to anyone. As someone who gets nervous speaking in front of crowds and awkward and anxious in certain social gatherings, I found comfort in learning of Lynn’s experiences and noted next steps to take to suffer less discomfort.
December 24, 2023
Shyness impacts about 40% of American adults. The author self-identifies as having suffered from shyness, which is nice that the writer has personal knowledge on the subject. This book providers normalization and empowerment for people that are shy. Reading this book will help to increase self-compassion/acceptance.
The book also provides helpful skills (e.g., visualization, mindfulness practice, and active listening skills) to overcome innate shyness. The author also discusses social anxiety especially in the digital age and ways to overcome it.
I agree with other raters that there was a bit of redundancy, which I think some is good but too much detracts. The suggested behavioral changes are helpful, but it doesn’t really talk enough about pushing through the extreme discomfort to create a new pattern. Insight does not equal behavioral change.
All in all, I thought it was a helpful resource but should be used in conjunction with a greater support group or therapy.
The book also provides helpful skills (e.g., visualization, mindfulness practice, and active listening skills) to overcome innate shyness. The author also discusses social anxiety especially in the digital age and ways to overcome it.
I agree with other raters that there was a bit of redundancy, which I think some is good but too much detracts. The suggested behavioral changes are helpful, but it doesn’t really talk enough about pushing through the extreme discomfort to create a new pattern. Insight does not equal behavioral change.
All in all, I thought it was a helpful resource but should be used in conjunction with a greater support group or therapy.
September 24, 2023
Highly recommended
I used to be very shy and nervous around people, especially strangers. I would avoid social situations and miss out on opportunities to make new friends and connections. This book, "Stop Being Shy", can change your life. This book reminded me of how I overcame my shyness and become more confident in myself. It gives practical tips and exercises to improve self-talk, mindfulness, and listening skills. It also helps expand your comfort zone and challenge yourself to talk to anyone, no matter who they are or what the situation is. I enjoy socializing and meeting new people, and I feel more fulfilled and happy. If you are looking for a book that can help you overcome your shyness and become more confident, I highly recommend "Stop Being Shy". It is a game-changer!
I used to be very shy and nervous around people, especially strangers. I would avoid social situations and miss out on opportunities to make new friends and connections. This book, "Stop Being Shy", can change your life. This book reminded me of how I overcame my shyness and become more confident in myself. It gives practical tips and exercises to improve self-talk, mindfulness, and listening skills. It also helps expand your comfort zone and challenge yourself to talk to anyone, no matter who they are or what the situation is. I enjoy socializing and meeting new people, and I feel more fulfilled and happy. If you are looking for a book that can help you overcome your shyness and become more confident, I highly recommend "Stop Being Shy". It is a game-changer!
September 29, 2023
I was very interested in this book, as I consider myself a shy person, although those closest to me don't seem to perceive me as shy.
This was a very interesting read, and I felt it gave me a lot to think about. I would be interested in trying out some of the exercises in this book, and felt like I could take something away from reading it. If you're looking to build your confidence when talking to others, this is definitely worth a look.
Thank you to Booksprout and the author for a free copy to review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
This was a very interesting read, and I felt it gave me a lot to think about. I would be interested in trying out some of the exercises in this book, and felt like I could take something away from reading it. If you're looking to build your confidence when talking to others, this is definitely worth a look.
Thank you to Booksprout and the author for a free copy to review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 1, 2024
I won this ebook in a Goodreads giveaway so a review is a must.
To be honest, the vast majority of everything went in one ear and out the other. I feel that I couldn’t apply myself to it bc I’m younger than the target audience. A lot of workplace and career stuff was mentioned and I don’t experience that, therefore I wasn’t applied.
I did notice a few typos but that’s okay because the book is self published I believe. I also think that the writing could have been structured better.
However with all of this being said, I do recommend this book to anyone and I would reread it anytime! I enjoyed it and I do believe that there is a good message and loads of good tips and tricks.
To be honest, the vast majority of everything went in one ear and out the other. I feel that I couldn’t apply myself to it bc I’m younger than the target audience. A lot of workplace and career stuff was mentioned and I don’t experience that, therefore I wasn’t applied.
I did notice a few typos but that’s okay because the book is self published I believe. I also think that the writing could have been structured better.
However with all of this being said, I do recommend this book to anyone and I would reread it anytime! I enjoyed it and I do believe that there is a good message and loads of good tips and tricks.
March 20, 2024
useful information
I've always struggled with shyness, so picking up this book felt like a step in the right direction. It's been a game changer for me, honestly. The way it unpacks the reasons behind shyness and lays out clear, doable strategies for overcoming it really resonated with me. I was particularly drawn to the idea of preparation as a means to calm my nerves and feel more in control in social situations. Reading this, I felt understood and empowered to make a change.
I've always struggled with shyness, so picking up this book felt like a step in the right direction. It's been a game changer for me, honestly. The way it unpacks the reasons behind shyness and lays out clear, doable strategies for overcoming it really resonated with me. I was particularly drawn to the idea of preparation as a means to calm my nerves and feel more in control in social situations. Reading this, I felt understood and empowered to make a change.
January 18, 2024
Practical tips for overcoming shyness
I have been shy since childhood, and have learned to avoid situations that make me feel uncomfortable. However, this book shares good strategies for overcoming versus avoiding. For instance, using attentive listening and curiosity, and overcoming fear of being judged even when it makes me feel vulnerable.
I have been shy since childhood, and have learned to avoid situations that make me feel uncomfortable. However, this book shares good strategies for overcoming versus avoiding. For instance, using attentive listening and curiosity, and overcoming fear of being judged even when it makes me feel vulnerable.
May 24, 2024
This book is an incredible guide for anyone looking to overcome shyness and understand its roots. Packed with practical advice and real-life strategies, it shows you how to start building powerful networks and take control of your path to success. Whether you're looking to boost your confidence or expand your connections, this concise and empowering read will set you on the right track.
October 11, 2023
This book is "stop being shy". It is a really good read discussing how to stop being so shy. Chapter 6 "overcoming social anxiety" was a very helpful chapter. I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 8, 2024
I won this book in a goodreads giveaway! This book gave me a lot of tools and techniques to help overcome shyness! From this book I was able to learn deep breathing, affirmations, visualization, and mindfulness are some tools to help myself overcome shyness!
March 8, 2024
Helpful tools and strategies to get out of your comfort zone and even be a little outgoing if you choose.
February 25, 2025
Meditation, positive self-talk, etc. There was nothing new that was introduced. If you know about those tools then this book would be repetitive but if you don't? It's a good book to read.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews