How to be a French Girl

by Rose Cleary

If you no longer want to be you, be careful who you become.

She’s from Southend. She wanted to be an artist and ended up at the best art school in the country. But that didn't work out.

Now she works as a receptionist in an IT firm, where her only creative outlet is arranging the sandwiches she’s ordered in for other people’s meetings. And she still lives in Southend.

Outside work, soulless sex has become a symptom of her boredom.

Then Gustav appears: older, perceptive, attentive. And French.

He’s her way out, she thinks. But more than that, a chance to be creative again: to become someone new.

How to be a French Girl is a fierce, disturbing and funny debut novel about desire, art and what we’ll risk to change ourselves.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction

250 pages, Paperback

Published August 23, 2023

Reviews

[Paul Fulcher · Rating 3 out of 5]

At face value this is something of a Fatal Attraction for the social-media generation. I coincidentally read this in parallel with Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, and the main character here seems to have fully adopted James Clear's precept that "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become", in her case becoming a French girl (and one who is the partner of a married Parisian man with whom she shared a brief, unconsumated, encounter):

In the shower the next morning she shaves everything. Moisturizes her entire body. She puts on the crisp white shirt. The tailored black culottes. The Converse trainers — a risk with office dress code, an anxiety she allays with the fact that Parisians don't ploy by sartorial rules. The shirt collar frames her neck elegantly. The material is cold. French women don't feel the need to expose their cleavage. The appeal is in the mystery, the sensuality. She adjusts her bra. She sprays perfume behind her ears, then into the air. The white and black feel stark. Noticeable. She is ready to jump over the edge, no longer invisible.

She selects a Charlotte Gainsbourg playlist on Spotify before placing her phone in the bathroom sink: a tip she read somewhere online, something about the shape of the basin enhancing the volume. It does. How to get that casual, everyday French girl look. That minimal but glowing and oh-so-chic look. French girls don't have time to spend three hours making sure their face is perfect! She stares. Skin and eye bags grey. Acne scars extra pink. French women invest in skincare instead of wearing make-up to cover issues. She applies serums: an exfoliant, niacinamide, vitamin C. Her face glistens with product. She decides to add two layers of her new face cream which cost thirty pounds, pressing it into her skin as she saw on a TikTok tutorial tided Why French girls never look tired.

However, beneath this the novel has much to say on social mobility and impostor syndrome in the arts.

3.5 stars

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is dark, witty and fully immersive. It pulled me right in from the beginning and I just couldn’t put it down. It’s a literary thriller about obsession and losing yourself, like if Meg Mason wrote Fatal Attraction!
It is full of razor sharp writing but it’s perfectly balanced with compelling characters and a propulsive plot that keeps you guessing right up to the end.
I can’t wait to read whatever the author writes next but I do have my fingers crossed for a sequel….!

[Alan (the Lone Librarian rides again) Teder · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to Try to Catch a French Man
Review of the Weatherglass Books paperback edition (August 2023)

What keeps the French girl so interesting and appealing to her lover? She has a life of her own! You will not find her sitting at home scrolling on her phone, waiting around for him. Mais non! The French girl is out rubbing shoulders in the hottest spots in town. Perhaps she is telling bawdy jokes and philosophizing at an elegant dinner party. Or perhaps she is with her other lover in another city...

[3.5 rounded up]
Novels with women as stalkers are not my genre, but I was relieved that How to be a French Girl went down a more humorous path than Sheena Patel's I'm a Fan (2022), where everyone was an unlikeable character. I had much more sympathy for the unnamed art-school graduate working in IT reception who crushes on a visiting French business man and resolves to make herself over into the type of woman that would attract him. Things don't quite work out the way she expected, but thankfully this did not go down the bunny-boiling route, which became my fear at the midpoint when she follows her target to France and begins to interact with his actual family. It even ends with some hope for the future.

I also liked the cover design with its self-effacing face blockout which reminded me of the Estonian novel (also somewhat stalkerish, although it involves an older woman and a younger woman as the object of desire) Tüdrukune (2019) (Estonian: Girlie) by Eia Uus, with a similar idea as can be seen here . They are symbolic of someone who has not yet found their identify and is searching (perhaps in the wrong place) for something to associate with or someone to be.

I read How to be a French Girl through my subscription to independent publisher Weatherglass Books UK.

Trivia and Link
The main character's search for French girl or woman style tips via google is not fictional. Surprisingly there are many such sites online such as 23 Ways to Live Like a French Woman.

This is the first novel by author Rose Cleary and you can read more about her at her website here.

[Mikha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Set in London, our unnamed narrator maintains a tedious daily routine, seeking solace by engaging in casual relationships through dating apps. The bold manner in which she establishes her control over men has genuinely captured my interest right from the start.

Having graduated from a prestigious art school, she finds herself unable to pursue her artistic aspirations and reluctantly becomes a receptionist at an IT firm.

Her colorless life changed when a French man, Gustave, visited the company she works for. Captivated by his confident nature, our MC delves into discovering more about France. She looks for tips on “what appeals to French men,” meticulously studying articles and videos to capture Gustave’s attention and become a true French woman herself. Over time, she follows more guides on embracing French customs.

Her fascination with Gustave evolves into an obsession, which she covers up as love at first sight, leading her to daydream incessantly about him. Eventually, her fixation compels her to follow him to Paris, making her do unsettling things that invade his personal space. Our protagonist constantly struggles to understand how effortlessly a man can show interest, yet just as easily lose it.

On a literal level, the book provides advice on adopting a French persona. Our MC dedicates significant thought to imitating the behavior of French women, often pondering, "Is this something a French girl would do?" in her quest to mirror their actions. It's also worth mentioning that the initial interactions between the protagonist and Gustave are full of tension and attraction, a feeling that Cleary skillfully portrays for readers. This somehow helped me grasp the reasons behind the MC’s profound fixation towards Gustave.

At its essence, Rose Cleary’s How To Be A French Girl offers guidance on embracing a new persona while exploring the complexities of human connection and desire. The book somehow blends elements from Sirens & Muses by Antonia Angress, The New Me by Halle Butler, and A Novel Obsession by Caitlin Barasch.

Thank you to FMCM, Weatherglass Books, and the author for sending me an ARC!

Review first posted on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/CwFs8DELM...

[Saoirse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not going to be able to read this again because the tension won’t be there but omg I was upset when it ended cause YOU CANT END THAT ON A CLIFFHANGER HELLO???? I’m not even going to bother writing out a fancy shmancy review because words will not describe the emotional curveball this novel put me through.
All I can say is that it has been a WHILE since I’ve read a 10/10 book that made me actually squeamish and jittering to pick up and continue with. I always judge books by their covers (guilty) and I’m honestly glad I did or else I probably wouldn’t have been as tempted to buy it (call me shallow see if I care)
In saying that the unnamed protagonist (which I only realised after reading reviews that not ONCE was her name ever mentioned) was a figure that I could originally identify with in subtle ways but as the story proceeded and her facade began to crack I, in turn, because frighted of who she was, more so because it was someone that I had previously connected with and was possibly ashamed that I was able to? The majority of the things she did were downright heinous but also her character arc is a heightened portrayal of womanhood and the fear of being alone??? Im sorry that my 18 year old self can relate to this predicament but also it sort of stands as a warning to the dangers of hookup culture and infatuation with men

[Rhys Edwards · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started off slow, office monotony was a boring read. A lot more enjoyable when she went off on her stalky adventure. The more the depression and desperation for love became apparent, the more I could relate. Crazy girl. Wish her all the best.

[Jane · Rating 2 out of 5]

Instructions not clear, I didn’t become a French girl :(
Read this surprisingly quickly considering I didn’t enjoy it that much. The start was pretty boring and slow, the weird stalkery parts made the book fairly interesting but I just didn’t feel connected to the story.

[Caitlin Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh I love unhinged women.

[amsel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Die Geschichte hat mich richtig in den Bann gezogen, so ein gutes Buch mit einer sehr interessanten Protagonistin!

- This is the book I want to read in public so people think I’m mysterious. -

[kirstyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

this felt like a better version of ‘I’m a Fan’ by sheena patel. I DNF’d that one but couldn’t put this one down. it’s not marketed as a thriller, but damn it had me feeling like one at times. thoroughly enjoyed it.

I don’t care what anyone says, 4.5!!!

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn’t put it down. Cleary nailed the unhinged narrator perfectly, I was cringing in the best way. Can’t wait to read more of her work.

[Lara Abrahams · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was much more than what I thought it would be. By the end of it, I hated her.
Her: she has no name, no real identity. She seeks for one in the perpetual act of dreading everything that surrounds her. Absence as creative energy, finding rebirth in what is lost.

The spark of change in the desperate element of dependence, succumbing force to security. This clear image of an unknown girl making her so real yet so fragile.

How to live, survive, how to make money, how to find love, how to love what you do, how to be an artist, how to sell your art, how to look nice, how to get your hair in a messy bun... After all, how to be a French girl.

Rose Cleary writes of the internal struggle to be real, physically standing, present. And how is this possible when you don't have a name? A definition, a category, a box where to fit your soul. How can this happen when the struggle might now be worth it? These questions fall into deep wells of continuation, they don't stop the process, they enhance it. Life multiplies needs.

[ejones · Rating 1 out of 5]

I truly don’t understand what people see in this book. It’s both predictable and uninteresting. I’m absolutely shocked this was less than 300 pages because it felt like it lasted forever. If this were a movie, it would be on at 3am on channel 5

[Benplouviez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Both hilariously funny and heartbreaking, the story of a woman whose attempts to remake her world seem always to risk destroying herself and others. Like TikTok videos, scene follows queasy scene unstoppably and irresistibly. Loved it.

[Linda Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

The girl wants her life to change.

Brimming with ennui that is pitch perfect, the atmosphere in How to be a French Girl is mesmerising as Rose Cleary illustrates the modern condition of loneliness and the need to be someone – anyone – with razor sharp accuracy.

This is a kind of road crash of a book you want to read through your fingers as the protagonist spirals into more desperate and mad behaviour. I found myself exclaiming aloud, begging her not to take whatever action she was about to do. The image of her prosaic working life is astonishingly depicted. She is a small, nameless nobody in a huge corporation whom Rose Cleary ironically sees with total focus and wry humour.

There’s a riveting sense that any one of us could descend into the madness of the girl in this story that makes reading How to be a French Girl hugely entertaining and not a little terrifying. This sensation is compounded by the fact the protagonist is never named. She is just a young woman, any young woman or an everywoman. There’s very much the sense that, if we were brave enough, or desperate enough, all of us could behave as she does.

How to be a French Girl is written with such insight and skill. The lack of speech marks enhances the concept that the girl has no real place in society, as if she is not fully formed because even what she says is unformed. Similarly the lack of such punctuation gives the sensation of a lack of control; the concept that the girl could spin beyond the confines of convention at any moment. Add in her rash casual sexual liaisons, her stifled creative talent, her poverty and even her rotting tooth and throughout there is a tension as well as a dry, sardonic humour, suggesting that something is going to give.

I really enjoyed How to be a French Girl. It has both universality and individuality in a nuanced blend of convention and anarchy. I think it might divide readers, but I can’t envisage any reader not having an opinion as a result of Rose Cleary’s clever narrative. Try it for yourself!

[Abia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love how Rose Cleary captures the current reality of most women in their 20's: dating app hopping and how chore-like it can be at times, the constant need to curate a image that fits the aesthetic of a dream life that always starts off as a physical change in the hopes that the rest of our being will then follow. As someone who always has a Pinterest tab open on their work computer it was quite funny seeing our main character read and believe these blogs that derive entire personalities, morals and daily rituals based on a image of a random slim woman with red lipstick!
Then there is the loneliness which is another current issue facing young adults. Her daily routine is one experienced by many her age: commute, work (where she is largely ignored), home (where she lives alone) there is no mention of close familial relationships or friendships (apart from Jenny who she only seems to tolerates) and finally the dampened flame of ambition from high school still dwindling faintly amongst it all.

[Angie Annetts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding!!
Suspend disbelief. Buckle in. And enjoy the ride!
Appalling (unnamed) female protagonist gets besotted with an older French guy....and things spiral out of control.
Class and obsession. Envy and lust. Boredom and buried dreams.
This is an outstanding debut novel. I felt bereft when reading the final, clever words and wished I had another few hundred pages to savour.
Cannot wait to see what this amazing author will produce next.
As long as it isn't an egg...
10/10 Highly recommended.
Buy it. Love it. Tell everyone.

[Julie anderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not knowing anything about this book I had no preconceptions about what this was going to be like or about. I like the cover and I like the title! Also, it seems shorter than other books and I was looking for something to read after a long book.

Right from the beginning, I found the style of writing and the character (narrator) dislikable. The short clips sentences and the depressing, self-centred immature character of the narrator. The only thing which compelled me to keep going was the fact I think we’ve all been in that space when you first start work and feel isolated and strange in a job just to get a foot on the ladder. also the feeling of not being in the right place at the right time.

In the end I couldn’t stop reading it, so it must’ve held something for me. I found the whole ending weird and it felt unfinished to me, but maybe I’m a bit old-fashioned as I like a middle/beginning and an end, and the end of this was unsatisfactory in my mind as it left too much for the imagination (Initially I thought there was a glitch with my kindle!)

There may be a lot in here that appeals to younger people and it explains well how grim life can be when your expectations at university have been glorified and then you are set a drift in the ocean without much help and just have to survive the great sea that is life. I wouldn’t really recommend this book, because it’s so depressing, and I think there’s so much more out there to read which is more exciting, more dynamic and more joyful!

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

The narrator of Rose Cleary’s How to be a French Girl is an artist who is earning money by temping. What she really wants, though is a relationship has she tends to overly rely on dating apps, leading to a lot of one night stands.

As her office is establishing a deal with a global company she comes across Frenchman Gustave who she is instantly infatuated by and he shows signs of interest, even leading her on. This then develops into a mania on the narrator’s part, which leads her to make quite a few decisions which impact her and those around her.

How to be a French Girl is a study on obsession, the narrator of this book tries to act like she’s French, only to have her stereotypical views to be destroyed by Gustave constantly. Then her drive to be near Gustave involves some actions which will make the reader judge her.

The book also does jab at internet behaviour, especially in the dating scene and how the ‘swipe’ culture is killing the dynamics of meeting somebody.

Like all novels from Weatherglass Press, HTBAFG is plot heavy, well written and has layers. It’s a good solid read which points out our foibles and also manages to get a quiet laugh in as well.

[Nadia Faydh · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are looking for a book with a conventional plot line then look elsewhere. This is not the book for you.
I am not sure if the author is aware, but I can see the influence of the modernist writing of the early 20 c. The protagonist, thinks and behaves like a profrukian character going through a mental journey while doing monotonous work of a receptionist! Day dreaming most of the time to be somewhere else , but doesn't know where. The complexity of her does make the book a page turner. However, I live in Southend and communite most of the week to my job in London. It is not bleak or depressing the way it is described in the book. I don't relate at all of her description of how the commute feels nor what it means to live in Southend.

That being said, I stand by my word. The book is worth reading and I hope the writer continues to write similar out of the box characters.

[Hana · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first third was good, the middle third was a bit slow, but the final 50 or so pages were FASCINATING. I can't say I finished the book with any real clarity on the main character and why she was so "unhinged", but actually that was part of the beauty of it. Would definitely recommend to fans of the "morally grey female protagonist" trope!

[Gabrielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a 4.5 for sure… another unhinged female protagonist that you want to climb inside the head of and see what she does next.
The more I read, the more I wanted to shout, “STOP” to all of her decisions. And that’s what I loved about it!

The only thing missing for me is a bit more of the protagonist’s backstory but still a really good read.

[Clare Russell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can see how this is clever, making fun of the instagram French girl idolisation (which I can be guilty of) but the unnamed protagonist is so vile and annoying I just wanted the whole thing to be over

[star · Rating 3 out of 5]

“nobody could know more than her if they did not know what she knew”

a fascinating exploration of fixation and a desperate need to control how one is perceived at the expense of any true semblance of self. obsession leading to insanity, uncomfortable and deliberate.

3.5 ⭐️

[nelly :) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Frances Wakefield · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an incredible story of obsession and art. I absolutely loved Clarey’s writing style. I would buy anything she writes in a heartbeat.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm slowly learning that books about obsession are not my jam but this book was still great and the ending!! so fucked up but amazing!!

[Hayley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was more interesting in the second half but overall this was only okay for me.
With 'unhinged women' narratives I have to feel some connection to the voice and with this one I didn't.

[May Dinneen · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is ASTONISHING and i cannot believe it’s a debut novel! i flew through it, one of my fav reads of 2023!!

[Tristan Gines Wozniak]

very well documented case of sexually induced delusion