My Right Hand to Goodness: The Life and Times of Crazy Dale Varnam

by Lynn Cook Betz

Most wonder how Dale Varnam stayed alive. Dale wonders why.

Back in the eighties, the quaint fishing village of Varnamtown, North Carolina—full of zany Southern characters—got rich, and so did town clown Dale Varnam, who perfected his own brand of crazy. Dale rose to the top of the heap in the drug smuggling biz, helping the town’s livelihood of shrimping go to pot. Although it’s not big enough to be on most maps, Varnamtown became the second busiest port of entry for illegal drugs on the Eastern Seaboard.

Dale Varnam’s misfit persona contradicts any preconceived notions of an international drug smuggler. His “good ol’ southern redneck persona” belies his past…and oh, what a past! During the 1980s, Dale Varnam was newspaper fodder. He was depicted as a “show-off,” “hot dog,” and “homicidal nut case,” until “armed career criminal” became the headline. The prankster extraordinaire now lives in a junkyard morphing into a grandiose roadside attraction of sorts called Ft. Apache, where a sign reads “A crazy place blessed by God’s Grace.” How did Dale get here from what he was?

It took two Dales—not just one. “New Dale” dusts off “Old Dale,” who danced with the devil for over twenty years. Between the Dales were ten years he considers a “vacation.” As an informant, he helped bring more than one hundred and fifty of those involved to grand juries resulting in over eighty indictments.

Many in Varnamtown succumbed to smuggling. This story does not leave them out; secrets are replaced by revelations, forgiveness, and healing. Forever changed, these God-fearing southern folks got caught up in crime, then caught, before eventually returning to their lives. The widespread corruption of law enforcement and politicians unfurls its tentacles through Dale’s tales.

From courting Manuel Noriega and Pablo Escobar to selling cocaine to Disney characters, from Playboy Bunnies mowing his yard to jungle labs where preserved tongues rested in jars, jaw-dropping events punctuate Dale’s story from beginning to end.

Genres: Audiobook, Nonfiction

382 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 12, 2024

Reviews

[Jeremie Varnam]

I will start that I may have a bias here, just look at my last name. This book made me laugh, made me cry, made me gasp, made me cuss…it just hit a number of emotions for me that no book or author has done in a while. I knew some stories about Dale from those in the community (Varnamtown) I grew up in and some from Dale himself. However, I was not prepared for the craziness and journey that Lynn Betz would take me on. The work and effort she put into this book is evident and captured this story like no other could. It brought back some childhood memories and the story of redemption not only of Dale but thoughts about redemption stories I witnessed from others that made sure I stayed on the straight and narrow despite their past. Well done, Mrs. Betz!

[Suzy Goodwin]

So, I live in the area this book takes place.

It was recommended to me by a friend who grew up in the area and now I’m recommending to all my local pals 💯

The stories are WILD and put this “sleepy beach town” in a new light 🔥🔥

As I was reading, I got multiple confirmations from folks in this area about the crazier details of the 80s and 90s (bales of marijuana at the dump, cocaine smuggling in the REO Speedwagon plane at the Azalea Festival).

Lots of NC political ties as well; even if you don’t live in Brunswick county, you know the people on these stories if you’ve voted in the last 20 years.

Don’t overlook the changing work of Jesus on Dale’s heart. The Holy Spirit works when it’s predestined to do so- for some, it’s later in life after MANY wild times 🫶🏻

[Janalyn, the blind reviewer]

In My Right Hand To Goodness, the life and Times of Dale Varnum. We learn about Dale Varnum the character who lives in Varnum town South Carolina and today it seems he is a friend to everyone and entertainer to all but back in the day there was a different side to Dale although still charismatic and congenial he turned Varnamtown into a drug inport and export area. Dale is the unofficial mayor and tourist guide you cannot meet anyone in town that doesn’t have a story to tell about Dale and it’s not anything he wouldn’t tell you himself this is a great book and a TrulyOriginal book about Crime and a couple who moved to the area met Ddale and felt compelled to write his story this is a great book and one I definitely recommend I am not big on biographies but this is almost like biography adjacent and it is a really good read! Some of the story sound too crazy to be true in one day I do believe people will even doubt that Dale Barnum even existed. I want to thank the publisher and NetGalley for my free arc copy please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.

[Luke Mike]

We have been vacationing at Holden Beach for over 10 years and I remember driving past Ft. Apache on our first trip down and wondering what the story behind that place was. Turns out that story was crazier than anyone could have predicted. I tend to agree with Kyle MacLachlan’s take on the Varnamtown Podcast that Dale is a story teller. I do not doubt that Dale was involved in the drug business, he obviously was, but I do doubt some of his claims, mainly his meetings with Pablo Escobar and Manuel Noriega. Either way this story is a wild ride that gets crazier has it goes.

[Elsie]

Thoroughly enjoyed reading this book especially after attending the session at the Shallotte Library with the author and Dale. What an interesting man Dale is and Lynn Cook Betz did an outstanding job on the research for the book. Amazed at the crime, corruption and drug trafficking that was prevalent in Brunswick County.

[Lee Magnani]

My Right Hand to Goodness


Excellent story of the life Crazy Dale Varnam.A must read of history
of a special location regarding drugs and various other happens in North Carolina shoreline..A.must read for all. Lee

[Steve Whitworth]

Interesting story about an interesting man.

[Sarahbel]

Cool to learn the story behind the wild place we always pass at the beach. Hoping it will be open when we go this year so we can visit!

Would have been better with a different narrator.

[zina Sutton]

hope

Thie is a book about personal change in the face of challenges and giving hope to those of us struggling.

[Michelle Arostegui]

Amazon review: Back in the eighties, the quaint fishing village of Varnamtown, North Carolina—full of zany Southern characters—got rich, and so did town clown Dale Varnam, who perfected his own brand of crazy. Dale rose to the top of the heap in the drug smuggling biz, helping the town’s livelihood of shrimping go to pot. Although it’s not big enough to be on most maps, Varnamtown became the second busiest port of entry for illegal drugs on the Eastern Seaboard.

Dale Varnam’s misfit persona contradicts any preconceived notions of an international drug smuggler. His “good ol’ southern redneck persona” belies his past…and oh, what a past! During the 1980s, Dale Varnam was newspaper fodder. He was depicted as a “show-off,” “hot dog,” and “homicidal nut case,” until “armed career criminal” became the headline. The prankster extraordinaire now lives in a junkyard morphing into a grandiose roadside attraction of sorts called Ft. Apache, where a sign reads “A crazy place blessed by God’s Grace.” How did Dale get here from what he was?

It took two Dales—not just one. “New Dale” dusts off “Old Dale,” who danced with the devil for over twenty years. Between the Dales were ten years he considers a “vacation.” As an informant, he helped bring more than one hundred and fifty of those involved to grand juries resulting in over eighty indictments.

Many in Varnamtown succumbed to smuggling. This story does not leave them out; secrets are replaced by revelations, forgiveness, and healing. Forever changed, these God-fearing southern folks got caught up in crime, then caught, before eventually returning to their lives. The widespread corruption of law enforcement and politicians unfurls its tentacles through Dale’s tales.

From courting Manuel Noriega and Pablo Escobar to selling cocaine to Disney characters, from Playboy Bunnies mowing his yard to jungle labs where preserved tongues rested in jars, jaw-dropping events punctuate Dale’s story from beginning to end.

[Lisa Mulzoff]

Lynn Cook Betz delivers a compelling account of Dale Varnam’s remarkable life, tracing his journey from small-town troublemaker to notorious drug smuggler and, ultimately, a man seeking redemption. Rich in local history and personal detail, the book offers an engaging look at crime, consequences, and second chances.

While some sections contain extensive background information that can slow the pace, the story remains captivating because of its colorful subject and authentic sense of place. Readers interested in true crime, North Carolina history, or stories of personal transformation will find much to appreciate.

[Marilyn]

At first, I found this book somewhat interesting because it happens to be near where I live. Then the book became slow and boring; this author seems to sensationalize this man's life. It read as if he created everything from sliced bread to the universe; he was nothing but a drug hustler.