Speaking the Truth in Love: How To Be an Assertive Christian

by Ruth N. Koch, Kenneth C. Haugk

This book talks about how to balance being loving and supportive while not being fearful of having biblical principles. It also offers tips on how to be more assertive without being needlessly insensitive or mousy.

Genres: Christianity, Christian

199 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1992

Reviews

[carol · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope

[Pamela Hawley · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's an interesting concept, the assertive Christian. This is where the assertive Christian chooses to stand up for themselves in purity and takes a stand for God's values in their life. It lifts up human challenges into a more spiritual realm, rather than feeling guilty, taking blame, and looking it only on a human level. It is clear-minded, God-minded thinking. They emphasize acting on the answer to prayer that often communication can be very short and not long, finding out what God's will is rather than being pushed into saying yes just because it's a Christian or a good endeavor, speaking about tone, which must be Godly at all times. I think this is an essential point. We can say many nice things, but if the tone is not right, then it doesn't work.

Much of the book focuses on your decisions, your speech, when you say things, how you say it, and watching what you are good at and where you need to learn. It makes you study yourself and God. It hones you into Christian action and thinking.

This book is also meant for people who feel like they have gotten walked on or steamrolled into doing good things or into doing things that seem right but really aren't right in their Godly journey. It allows us to take a stand in a loving, firm way, and truly follow God's plan. There is a plan, there is a plan for everyone, and not all good things are a part of that plan. Those "good things" might be right for someone else's plan.

[Liza Lehman · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a little gem of serendipity!

I purchased this book at a library sale because the title caught my attention, but I almost didn't read it after more careful inspection. When I realized it focuses on assertiveness, I thought, "Oh boy, I don't need help with that. I'm way too assertive already!"

I'm happy to say, though, that it was an incredibly helpful book full of Scripture, examples from Jesus' life, and practical application. I greatly appreciated the chapters dedicated to understanding passive, assertive, aggressive, and even passive aggressive behaviors and the motivations behind each one as well as appropriate times to assertively choose either passive or aggressive behaviors.

I highly recommend it!

[Jessica Harcarik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting concept to a book that I would never think of. This provides such light on how to communicate well and how the expression of communication is highly important. By not being an assertive communicator a lot of people misunderstand the situation, events or current reality. Many people, especially in western culture tend to be more passive or aggressive when communicating. To be more like Jesus knowing how to communicate how he did, through love in assertiveness it is another way of walking more like Jesus.

[Annie Riggins · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5) This is a lot like Boundaries - though I prefer this over Boundaries because it’s less abstract of a concept, more straightforward. Where “having boundaries” can tend to morph into a personality type these days, this book presents the simple idea that you can live effectively and lovingly by being response-able in the large and small things.

It’s no work of literature, but neither are most books in this category, unfortunately!

[Ron Jaeger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wish I had read this book years ago. Great resource to understand how to share truth in love. To understand how to use your responses to grow, bless and honor God in all relationships. How to honor and respect those you are in relationships with. Jesus’ role model is exemplified,
Thanks Ruth Koch and Kenneth Hangk for this blessing!

[Patti Victorson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! It gives many practical ideas. It is a good read for those involved in caregiving. I bought this book for my daughter because I wanted her to be assertive in a loving way and help her maintain healthy relationships.

[Jeff Noble · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very practically helpful and for the most part, solid biblically. I had never read a treatment of assertive behavior versus passive or aggressive behavior. It was helpful.

[Christine Correnty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book. I read it out of order. But it had some good tips.