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I Make Envy on Your Disco

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Winner of the Barbara DiBernard Prize in Fiction

"A love letter to Berlin, to travel, and to saying yes to life.”—Alan Cumming
"A funny and moving debut."—The Washington Post
“Uniquely beautiful. Fun, fresh, and surprisingly hopeful.” —The Advocate

It’s the new millennium and the anxiety of midlife is creeping up on Sam Singer, a thirty-seven-year-old art advisor. Fed up with his partner and his life in New York, Sam flies to Berlin to attend a gallery opening. There he finds a once-divided city facing an identity crisis of its own. In Berlin the past is everywhere: the graffiti-stained streets, the candlelit cafés and techno clubs, the astonishing mash-up of architecture, monuments, and memorials.

A trip that begins in isolation evolves into one of deep connection and possibility. In an intensely concentrated series of days, Sam finds himself awash in the city, stretched in limbo between his own past and future—in nightclubs with Jeremy, a lonely wannabe DJ; navigating a flirtation with Kaspar, an East Berlin artist he meets at a café; and engaged in a budding relationship with Magda, the enigmatic and icy manager of Sam’s hotel, whom Sam finds himself drawn to, and determined to thaw. I Make Envy on Your Disco is at once a tribute to Berlin, a novel of longing and connection, and a coming-of-middle-age story about confronting the person you were and becoming the person you want to be.

296 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2024

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5801 people want to read

About the author

Eric Schnall

1 book61 followers
Eric has worked on and off Broadway as a producer and marketing director for more than twenty-five years. He won a Tony Award for the Broadway revival of Hedwig and the Angry Inch and a Lucille Lortel Award for Fleabag. He has also written about techno and electronic music for Billboard and Revolution, profiling DJs and musicians from around the world. Eric lives in New York City with his partner and his dog. I MAKE ENVY ON YOUR DISCO—winner of the Barbara DiBernard Prize in Fiction—is his first novel.

Instagram: @ericschnall

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5 stars
562 (45%)
4 stars
459 (37%)
3 stars
170 (13%)
2 stars
30 (2%)
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9 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 237 reviews
Profile Image for Anne Cadigan.
3 reviews7 followers
May 6, 2024
This was a wonderful and surprising gem of a novel, and possibly the best book I’ve read this year. Great characters, and a deep sense of place. It’s the kind of book that I’d like to give as a gift to friends. It’s a good choice for anyone who has ever taken their wounded selves to Europe, or dreamed of doing so, and gotten lost or found in the process. I read it very quickly until the last 40 pages, which I then parceled out because I wanted to stay in Berlin longer. Five stars. Loved it.
Profile Image for ivy.
643 reviews367 followers
February 21, 2025
One of the best reading experiences I’ve had in a while. One of those books that will make you rethink your high ratings on other books.

All I knew going into it was that it was about a 30 something year old art advisor, who goes to Berlin and his experience. You should go into it with only that same knowledge.
As soon as I finished I went back and skimmed parts of it I wanted to re-read again. Characters and dialogue so real you will forget this is fiction. Such great writing. HIGHLY recommend.


“I can’t figure out what to wear. Berlin seems so determinedly casual yet effortlessly chic. It’s a tricky combination. I’m not as fashion savvy, or nearly as daring, as I was when I was young, when I’d go dancing in a vest, army boots, and a kilt. One morning after I left a club, a car pulled up beside me and a man leaned out the window. “Two hundred,”he said. “For what?” I asked. “For you.” He rolled his eyes and sped away. It’s sort of nice, that someone wanted to buy me once.”
Profile Image for Emma Roper.
45 reviews25 followers
May 26, 2024
Quite possibly one of my favourite books of all time. I LOVED IT!! Really didn’t want it to end, I feel like it will stay with me forever. Read on kindle! Purchased physical copy for my library!! I have now also added Berlin to my travel list..

Art dealer and life long New Yorker who can’t figure out his life jumps on a plane to Berlin. The trip begins in isolation but evolves into one of deep connection and possibility.

If it was possible I could give it more stars I would!! A must read!!
Profile Image for Kyle C.
681 reviews109 followers
May 7, 2025
The opening pages of this novel are exquisitely wrought, presenting—both lyrically and whimsically—Berlin as a confounding mystery. Sam is a private art consultant from New York and has just arrived in Berlin for a brief stay to attend an opening exhibition and visit some galleries. Everything in Berlin is an anthropological curiosity. The windows open differently and the toilet is operated by a pedal. As he realizes, the word "bitte" can mean anything from "please" to "you're welcome" to "may I help you?" He is staying between Grosse Präsidentenstrasse and Oranienburger Strasse, and as he adds wryly, "that's two streets and sixteen syllables". Sam has come to Berlin to see an exhibit Ostalgie at the Zukunftsgallerie. It's a riddle for Berlin itself: Ostalgie is a portmanteau of "Ost" (meaning "east") and "nostalgia" and it refers to the wistful memories of East Berlin, not of its oppressive regime but of the quotidian things—as simple as a discontinued brand of orange juice—that were once ubiquitous in the meager communist markets but then instantly disappeared when the Wall fell. So, ironically, as its opening avant-garde piece, the Zukunftsgallerie (or in English, The Future Gallery) looks backwards. The press materials on the exhibit just muddy the temporalities more: the program notes of the Future Gallery retitle the exhibit as "Immediate/Present", explaining the collection of artefacts as an attempt to remember and understand the irretrievable past in order to arrive at the present. It distills the spirit of Berlin: trendy and trend-busting but also retrospective and romanticizing, a place of constant rebuilding and ephemeral graffiti but also omnipresent monuments and commemorations—past, present, future all folded into one.

Behind all his wide-eyed wonder, Sam is also trying to hide from the problems in his relationship. He and his boyfriend, Daniel, are at a crossroads in their own presents and futures; their relationship has fizzled and they disagree about whether to adopt a child and what to do with their lives. Berlin offers Sam an escapist fantasy: ecstasy, discotheks, rave parties, new people. He befriends an expat from New York, Jeremy, who, in some ways like him, left New York to remake his life and who, also like him, is desperately alone. Sam meets a younger, lithe and attractive, man named Kaspar (who is often simply referred to as K—like some mysterious protagonist of a Kafka novel); Sam becomes infatuated with Magda, the hotel manager, who is urbane and alluring, matronly but seductive, the embodiment of European cool. Sam is a passive figure—much like Christopher in Isherwood's Goodbye To Berlin. He is a tourist to Berlin, in love with the city, orbiting around the bigger personalities that inhabit it, observing their foibles, offering repartee but never really making decisions, a creature of wanderlust. For similar reasons, Sam reminded me of Damon Galgut's In a Strange Room, about a gay hiker in South Africa half in love with his fellow travelers, seeking out new places and recording the world around him. In its bantering dialogue and light comic touch, the novel has a lot in common with Andrew Sean Greer's Less, a similar story of a gay man with a hopeless love life setting out on an Odyssean book-tour for a refreshing change of scenery.

I liked it overall. It's a sentimentalizing portrait of a city which has its own unique kind of queer temporality. Sam is now thirty-seven-years old but, unlike his straight friends, he cannot so easily have children (and, set in the early 2000s in the Bush presidency, there is no same-sex marriage). His life lacks the conventional rituals of adulthood: marriage, children, family. He doesn't own a car; he rides the subway alone. His body is middle-aged but, like many gay men, he still feels unmoored and adolescent. Berlin mirrors his own fractured sense of self and twisted timelines—a city with painful histories and constant novelty, a city haunted by its 20th-century past but hosting a 24-hour party schedule. In Berlin, Sam deludedly hopes he can escape his past, relive his twenties and reimagine a new future.
Profile Image for Lotts White.
32 reviews
June 26, 2025
One of the most beautifully written books that I have read in a long time. The sense of place and being torn between two selves is both intense and subtle.

A book to relate to, to enjoy and to take comfort in.

I laughed and I loved with every page.
Profile Image for Dennis Holland.
299 reviews161 followers
March 18, 2025
I envy this book—the prose, the people, the place, the possibilities.
Profile Image for Daniel Sheen.
Author 2 books27 followers
February 25, 2025
4.5 🌟 but I might well round it up to 5 if it continues to haunt me.

This is one of those books where you can hardly believe it was a debut because the writing was so assured it was effortless. Everything about this book was effortless. The fantastically embodied characters, the deeply felt sense of place, the super smart emotional arcs, even with the side characters, and only in the space of a few short days. And the dialogue, oh my God, I've rarely encountered such effortlessly realistic dialogue - honestly, it read like a transcript of a documentary or a travelogue or something. If you just want to study good dialogue, then this is the book for you! Essentially, this is a story about growing older and feeling lost (particularly as a gay man) but then finding yourself again in the most surprising of places. But honestly, you should just go into it knowing as little as possible and let the gorgeous prose carry you. It's also the perfect length, with the perfect ending, although by the end I was so involved I could've easily handled another 300 pages of Sam, Magda and Jeremy just wandering around Berlin, looking at art, eating in restaurants and shit talking each other. A truly stunning slice-of-life story that made me burst into surprised tears several times near the end. Warm, witty, introspective, heartfelt and powerful.
Profile Image for Alli Lavely.
81 reviews19 followers
August 26, 2025
This was so wonderful, I was SO sad to be done with it. I just want to read about Sam, Magda, and Jeremy on and on until I’m 100% positive that they all have the happy ending they deserve.
54 reviews6 followers
July 31, 2025
Loved this. Charmingly written and captures what it’s like to experience both New York and Berlin so well. Has slight Intermezzo vibes. Definitely left me full of Nostalgie. If I randomly up and move to Berlin, this book is the reason why.
Profile Image for Ryan James.
66 reviews3 followers
October 18, 2025
Just the loveliest gem of a book. This is for all of us who’ve found ourselves jet lagged in a foreign city feeling a little lost and overwhelmed but also excited by the idea of the unknown. I didn’t want this to end. Highly recommend for anyone who loves exploring cities and cherishes the randomness of life.
Profile Image for bryce.
37 reviews
June 30, 2024
I loved this book! A total delight. Loved the characters and no doubt middle-aged NYer having midlife crisis in Berlin was easy to identify with lol.
Profile Image for David.
756 reviews12 followers
January 26, 2025
A character-driven story of one man's early midlife crisis, with the two best dramatis personae being Magda and the Berlin of 20 years ago. While both feature prominently, the reader is with protagonist Sam Singer from start to finish. Don't get me wrong: I found him endearing. His overwhelming uncertainties, though, - the cyclic angst of not knowing who you are or what you want - grew tiresome in the final third. My response may also have had something to do with the rise to prominence of Jeremy as a foil for Sam's existential musings. He edged towards insufferable at certain points.

3.5 stars
Profile Image for Matt Pedretti.
163 reviews3 followers
July 20, 2025
10/10 DEVOURED THIS!!!! Finally picked up ahead of Berlin on Wednesday and couldn’t have been happier with my reading experience.

Classic fish out of water but really utilized the city and its characters to tell a story about living with ghosts - both physical and psychological - and how the dance floor and glimmering lights can be the perfect place to process.

A MUCH better version of Less for the girls in the know. Absolutely loved the ending and has me wanting more (like any book/city does)!!!
Profile Image for Todd.
101 reviews5 followers
August 24, 2025
Perspective is one of the most foundational factors in writing a good story. I Make Envy of Your Disco has a clear, distinct perspective: a late-thirties gay man struggling with his long-term relationship and searching for meaning in a new city. I appreciated this because I cannot think of many books written from this point of view. As someone who is in my early 30s, this made me consider the different emotions of aging.

I thought it was interesting that Daniel, Sam's partner, is a character in the story but only heard from via flashback. The supporting characters in this book are memorable and the author gives them enough depth to feel human.

Another beautiful slice-of-life story for 2024. I really had fun with this one. It reminded me of In Tongues from earlier this year. This was just the type of read that I needed at the moment. This story really makes me want to visit Berlin. I hope this book gets more press because it deserves some recognition.
Profile Image for Serhiy.
321 reviews13 followers
December 27, 2024
Why did Sam come to Berlin? For work? For love? For the night clubs? For the art? For the history? Or, for the nostalgia of 80's New York? Join him as he discovers a new city, meets interesting characters, and broods on his life before turning forty.

This is a wonderful book for armchair travel and in my own opinion, provides the reader with an experience of a lifetime. Berlin is a place where "couples kiss each other like they are starving, where ghosts roam on every corner, where it's as cold as borscht, and where the night begins at eleven."
Profile Image for Mark Ward.
Author 31 books46 followers
September 28, 2025
One of the best novels I've read in years. Detailed, well-drawn, funny, and with gorgeous prose, this tale of an American, Sam, in Berlin and his supporting cast talks profoundly about growing up and maybe, just maybe, starting over.
Profile Image for Care.
600 reviews148 followers
December 7, 2024
Wow. Totally absorbing, part travelogue, part mid-life crisis; unexpectedly heartfelt, prickly and witty, such wonderful characters. Enjoyed ever so much. Sehr gut! Wunderbar.
Profile Image for Derek Fleming.
131 reviews4 followers
October 3, 2025
Everything about this novel worked for me! and now I'm even more excited for an upcoming trip to Berlin! (I've already booked my reservation at Henne!!)
Profile Image for Tell.
217 reviews1,105 followers
July 2, 2024
A fascinating travelogue about a gay man finding himself in Berlin, I really enjoyed the quiet introspection of the protagonist. I expected partying and queer debauchery but instead I got a very adult novel about a man at a crossroads, desperate for connection and yearning for meaning. I love reading about people in their late thirties trying to make sense of the lives they've built for themselves. I also just really want to go to Berlin now.

Dialogue heavy but the last half (once the characters gel) really worked for me. I wish we had gotten more of the mc's mother as well.
Profile Image for Andrew L.
47 reviews
August 9, 2025
I may come back and expand on this but the most important top-line note is that this was just a truly enjoyable reading experience and I was not ready for it to end. Blessed by a cast of interesting, fun characters with depth and an immense amount to say.

—-

"As we say: die Kirschen in Nachbars Garten schmecken immer ein bisschen süßer."
"Wow. What does that all mean?"
"I do not know if it is the same expression for you. It means the cherries in the neighbor's garden always taste a bit sweeter."
"Oh, yes. We say, 'The grass is always greener."
Profile Image for Thomas.
38 reviews19 followers
April 27, 2025
Intriguing, relatable characters. Vivid sense of place. Really enjoyed this book. It was the perfect little trip away from everything that I needed right now.
Profile Image for c f.
2 reviews2 followers
May 13, 2025
i have never felt so seen by a book. wie schön.
Profile Image for Sophie.
8 reviews
October 13, 2025
I’m genuinely sad that this reading experience is over and I will miss living in it. It was real and honest and funny. Beautifully written, full of heart and fleeting connections that stay with you.
Profile Image for Jessica.
286 reviews28 followers
August 5, 2025
I found this audiobook quite affecting. Ostalgie, nostalgia, a theme of the book and how it made me feel. Lovely. Amazing narration. 

Editing my review because I'm still thinking about this book and the narration. I'm having a hard time picturing reading it, not listening. In fact, I'd like to listen again, preferably on an overnight train somewhere in Europe.
Profile Image for William Miles.
213 reviews2 followers
August 6, 2025
Wow

Wow

Wow

Brilliant novel. And now I want to revisit Berlin.

To paraphrase another reviewer, I’m wondering why I’ve given five stars to so many other novels that are not quite as deserving
Profile Image for Gus.
28 reviews3 followers
January 3, 2026
A mopey gay man arrives in Berlin on a haphazard solo sojourn during the Bush administration (which is crazy what a different world that seems now), barely fifteen years after the fall of the Wall. The book kind of follows the pacing of a trip: he starts disoriented, casting off rote generalizations of the place and then he eventually finds his fitting, his specific slice of his new environs, and eventually comes to some truth in why he wanted to run away in the first place.

This book had some of my favorite side characters I've encountered this year! I love how it was kind of picaresque but then we kept returning to the side stories. I felt very close to the narrator, as well, so I am wondering who this book plays for someone who is not a mopey gay guy who has been to Berlin. But it should really resonate with anyone that's wanted a transformation from a trip.

Schanll writes, “I begin to have that feeling, the one you get, quite suddenly, when you realize that a trip has been good, perhaps even great, and that it’s about to end. You experience a mixture of homesickness and angst and the anticipatory anxiety of reentering the life you left behind. Nostalgia begins to envelop moments as they are happening” (257)
-- and I felt that about this book! I was excited to come home and keep reading the book, and I was so sad to exit the world! The final scene reminded me of Before Sunset, I could just feel the time slowly leaving me and felt butterflies rising from my stomach to my chest. Where's my Magda??!?!?

Some other choice quotes:

“When I finally reach the Ishtar Gate on the other side of the museum, I’m shrined out. I sit on a bench in front of some Islamic water jugs and notice the bulge in my pants. I get hard-ons in the weirdest places. When I moved in with Daniel, I’d get erections in Pottery Barn and Bed Bath & Beyond. I felt so suffused with possibility, looking at all the side tables, sheets, and espresso machines. One day, while shopping at Crate & Barrel, I went into the men’s room and jerked off. It took only two minutes, I was so turned on by all the plates and furniture” (29).

“I’ve lost touch with everything, even the weather. In New York, I live a life of no surprises, all carefully orchestrated. I check the weather forecast five times a day. A storm practically needs written permission from me before it can pass through" (75).

“‘The past is fact, Samuel. Nostalgia is just a fuzzy dream in your head. Nostalgia is memory with a really good director’” (158).
Profile Image for Gabriella.
12 reviews10 followers
April 21, 2025
The characters in this book feel so real that I kept forgetting it was fiction. I am an American living in Berlin, and this book reminded me why I first fell in love with the city.
313 reviews3 followers
July 26, 2025
I really enjoyed this book. I don’t think I’ve read anything that better describes the joy and possibility of international travel, especially alone. Highly recommend.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 237 reviews

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