What Would Machiavelli Do?: The Ends Justify the Meanness – A Pithy, Vicious Guide to Corporate Warfare and Power

by Stanley Bing

What Would Machiavelli Do?

He would feast on other people's discord He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control He would use other people's opinions to sell his book!

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Humor, Politics, Philosophy, Audiobook, Psychology

176 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 8, 1999

About the author

Gil Schwartz, known by his pen name Stanley Bing, was an American business humorist and novelist. He wrote a column for Fortune magazine for more than twenty years after a decade at Esquire magazine. He was the author of thirteen books, including What Would Machiavelli Do? and The Curriculum, a satirical textbook for a business school that also offers lessons on the web. Schwartz was senior executive vice president of corporate communications and Chief Communications Officer for CBS.

Reviews

[Jon]

I find it amazing that many reviewers cannot see good sarcasm when it hits them in their head. I have read many reviews of this book that mistake it for being actual advice on how to run your business. Some skeptics even suggest that Mr. Bing ought to have put out a disclaimer stating "this is a work of sarcasm".

This book is very funny and I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions.

The book is basically a recipe of what to do if you plan on being a totally self-centered asshole with total disregard of other people.

The scary things are the many examples from real corporate life that Bing brings up. CEOs and and prominent leaders are actually doing many of the things described in this book. That's scary stuff.

[Ramy]

اول كتاب تعاليم برجماتية ..كان كتاب
الأمير
و الذى كتبه نيقولا ميكيافيللي ل سيده و ولي نعمته الميديتشي
هو كتاب يجمع خلاصة السياسة و السيادة و كيف يتصرف الامير ليظل أميراً
....تُرجم ل محمد علي و قُرء عليه
ليمل منه بعد عدة ايام و يقول انه يفعل ما هو في الكتاب و اكثر...كان داهية بحق

فى
عصرنا الحديث كتب روبرت جرين تحفته البراجماتية - و التي يسميها الكثيرون لا اخلاقية -
قواعد السطوة
هو منهج رائع للتدرج من منصب التابع الى منصب السيد "الامير"

اما الكتاب محل الريفيو
فهو شديد التلخيص ...شديد القباحة ..شديد السفالة ...فعلا هناك الفاظ غير مناسب للآنسات و السيدات
"وجب التنبيه"

هو غير اخلاقي - كالكتابين المذكورين بالأعلي- بافتراض ان تفضيل مصلحتك على مصلحة الاخرين و ان كان هدف غير معلن الا انه يظل حقيقي
حتى ان حاولت ادعاء العكس ...عن نفسي لا ادعي العكس بتاتا بلا و اصرح به ..فهي الحقيقة المجردة ...

الكتاب محل الريفيو يمكن اعتباره نسخة حديثة "تخصص المؤسسات و البيزنس" من كتاب الامير....لم يعد هناك امارات و انما مؤسسات دولية كبرى عابرة للقارات ...ميزانياتها تقارب ميزانيات دول صغيرة ....

لم يعد هناك امراء و انما CEOs
و Executive managers
..الامر لم يفرق كثيرا
فى كتاب
الأسوأ لم يأت بعد
بيقول المؤلف ان المؤسسات و الشركات الدولية
تختار ال CEO
و ال executive officers "managers"
بعد اختبارات شخصية و نفسية ...من ينجح فيها ليس الاكثر "خيرية" و انما الاكثر "جشع و دموية و خبث و سيطرة و جنون عظمة "
...نفس السمات النفسية للـ psychopaths'
السيكوباتيين
...الفئة النفسية التى يندرج تحتها القتلة المتسلسلين .... و السفاحين ... و المجرمين العتاة و الديكتاتورين و ... و ال CEOs


لم يعد هناك خلاف او حروب على حدود او اتفاقات و انما الخلاف و الحرب تنشب الان على المصلحة على المكاسب

الامر ببساطة انك ان لم تكن لك خطة و هدف ...ستجد من يوظفك للعمل على هدفه و حلمه ...
ان لم تكن سيد - لنفسك على الاقل - فستكون - لن نقول عبدا - و انما تابع لسيد آخر

ان كان كتاب قواعد السطوة
هو منهج او بداية الطريق لصعود طريق الامارة و السيادة الصاعد ....
ف كاتبيّ الأمير و
ماذا سيفعل ميكيافيلي ؟ (ebook)
هما عن البقاء على قمة جبل السيادة و الامارة ...

لمن لم يعجبه كتاب قواعد السطوة احب اقول له انه كتاب "مؤدب" ب لنسبة للكتاب دا ....
الكتاب دا مركز ف "اللااخلاقية" و "الجشع" و السباب"

هو مجموعة من المقالات المجمعة عن ال CEOs و كيف كان سيتصرف ميكيافيللي ان كان مكان ال CEOs للمؤسسات و الشركات العملاقة حاليا...



ملخص ال 44 مقال عما كان سيفعله ميكيافيلي يمكنك ان تقرؤه هنا

سوف يستغل نفسه أكثر مما يستغل غيره، وتكون تصرفات ه غير متوقعة!
وينال الفضل ويكونُ راضيا بمصيره. مهووس بجنون العظمة. في حال ة
نُكران وحرب دائم، ويزرع في طريقه بعض الأعداء الذين يحبهم، سيكون
لديه صديقين حميمين، يتخذُ أحدهما جارا ويعتقد أنه أكبر وأقرب منه.
يتقدم مثل سمكة قرش كبيرة ، يأكل يمينا ويقض م شمالا.. كان يقتل ا لنا س
إذا شعر بالرضا عن نفسه، سوف يطرد والدته إذا لزم الأمر. يصنع
الفضيلة من البغض، ويتفاءل بالطري ق مُستكملا ! لا يرُضي إلا نفسه ،
ويعاملها الصواب. كان ينظر إلى جنسه على أنه الأصل والمسؤولية.
يستخدم ما لديه ويعانقُ جنونه وقسوته، ويميل لما يملي عليه قلبه. أيه ا
الأحمق، كان يقول كل ما يسري على طر ف لسانه ، ويفوض المهام
القبيحة باستثناء التي يستمتع بها. لا يسعى لرفقة النساء الغبيات أو
يطلب القُبلات منهن، ولا يرفضهن إذ ا ما خرج ن عن سيطرته. لا يحب
أن تنتقده، ويحمل الضغينة في قلبه إذا ما اختفى الصرصور في بيته.
كان كذابا عندما يضطر. يفتخر بقسوته وينظر إليها أنها قوة. يركل
المؤخرات ويأخذ أسماءها. سوف يشل الذين يخيبون أمله . كان يعذب
الناس حتى تغمره م السعاد ة فيدمرون أنفسهم. كا ن يتغذى عل ى الفتنة
بين الآخرين. سيجعلك تخاف على حياتك، يكون مخلصا للأشخاص
الذين يتحملون ضراوته وقساوته. لم يكن ذا صَبْر على أي امرء
]منيوك[. يفسد عطلة نهاية الأسبوع وحفلات الزفاف وجراحة القل ب
المفتوح.. وإنه لَواضع هذا الخراء كله في وجهك. كان مُدركا أن ح ب
نفسك يعني ألا تقول "أنا آسف". ليس لديه ضمير حتى يتكلم عنه ،
كان يصرخ في وجوه الناس. يؤسس ويحافظ على أعلى مستويات
السطوة الذهانية. إنه تابع للمال ويسعى إليه. يا عزيزي: لن يخاف من
قذف هذا الخراء في وجهك. يأكل ليقتل، لا يتقاعد أبدا، سوف
يستمتع في الخاتمة.

و مقال واحد عما لن يفعله ميكيافيلي ..ملخصه .. لن يكون احمقا غبيا

و اخيرا ...الكتاب ظريف فى محتواه ... واقعي جدا....ان لم تكن لديك مشكلة مع الالفاظ الفجة و الشتائم فيه فأقرؤه...
...مفيد "لمن هو سيد و امير ب الفعل" ....
ان كنت لا تزال تسعى للسيادة فاقرا اولا [book: قواعد السطوة]
و طبقه بحذافيره

الكتاب القادم : The Compound Effect

[James]

The basic joke is good for a little while, but not enough to sustain a whole book, and it's been rendered less humorous by the events of the Bush years. The basic theme is that the author is, tongue in cheek, advocating the adoption of total ruthlessness, abusiveness, and amorality as an interpersonal style. The problem for me is that after all the corporate and political scandals of the last eight years, after the Iraq war, it's not very funny anymore, and I can't read this without seeing the faces of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzales, Delay, and a lot of the business people with whom they were in bed, and those people aren't funny at all.

[Kamal]

كتاب غشيم وغبي، حرفيًا متآمر وأهبل.

[Lavinia]

I'm a long, long way from the corporate world, and I'm all in favour of downshifting and simple living, so the applicability of the Machiavellian advice is far from happening. But, hey, I do enjoy humour and business anecdotes!

[luna🌙]

I read this book thinking it would be a modern "Prince", and I was pretty disappointed. I don't think this book teaches you anything new. It has only one narrative: "CEO's are bad", and that's a lazy and common narrative. At the beginning, i was actually enjoying the writing style; it was sassy and satirical, which I found entertaining. However, it is so overused that it gets boring really fast. Overall, this was a reading I regret AND only finished because of how short this book is. I give this a 2 out of 5, not because of the author's ideas, but his use of quotes.

[.]

Много смешна и вярна книга

[Maria LeBerre]

Meh, I liked his other stuff better. Sort of entertaining but not really worth it.

[Seemy]

This started of promising, and to some extent amusing/entertaining...but I didn't realise the tone and style of book (amusing ..and perhaps bemusing even) will be consistent all the way through...I had an audio version and being honest there were problems with the audio file at times which muted some audio at times, but everytime it would fix itself didn't motivate me to keep listening and catch my enthusiasm again

I'd highly recommend Rpbert Greene's work like 48 laws of power etc which is 100% good 'shit' compared to this (in my humble opinion( poor mans "what would machiavelli do?'

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Seemy
www.Waseem.tv/Blog

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[Max Correia]

This book is about business practices in the way Machiavelli might do them. From how to handle your employees to handling your superiors, it teaches unconventional business practices that the author claims works. The book itself uses strong language in a lot of areas. It teaches about grudges, paranoia, and even poor response to criticism as a way of management. "If they feel like there's something you need to know about your behavior or performance, so be it. Let them talk. But make them pay." "There are as many ways to get rid of [problems] as there are people to exploit." These quotes show the kind of person the author has become due to following these practices. Some people might want to be like the author, but many will be turned off.

[Grey]

As a tongue-in-cheek tour of bad behavior and its obvious disbenefits, the book is fun. The good writing and humor rescue it from uselessness. Only piece of advice I found worth remembering: [in the text of the need to be ultra-paranoid:] "And for goodness sake, don't forget to leave at least 90 percent of your paranoia at the office! it's a great way to manage your professional life, but as a personal strategy, it stinks!" OK, so it's not really so great professionally, either, but it's a reminder to leave work at work. Reminded me that there are way too many exclamation points in this book. And Machiavelli definitely would not have said, "for goodness sake."

[Philip]

I picked up this book for the first time when it was initially released many years ago. I've always enjoyed Machiavelli- Florentine Renaissance internecine politics is a good subject to study early in one's career, but I've learned, being MEAN just get's people mad. I reformed my ways, and now, reading this book again many years later- it just makes me ill. I'm revising my rating and downgrading it with the following quote from another favorite author:

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Algonquin Wits

[Eric Montag]

The book is a fake how-to manual for people who are looking to climb the corporate ladder. It might be the funniest non-fiction book that I have ever read. The author's stories about real Machiavellian managers running companies make the book great. Although, I will admit that if you are a person who actually has to answer to a terrible manager in real life, you may not see the humor in some of these stories.

[Jim Rossi]

Terrific short book, laugh-out-loud funny - even more so because it hits on many uncomfortable truths about work, careers, and power. It's been a major inspiration & resource for life, a frequent gift I give, and helped to inspire my own first book, "Cleantech Con Artists: A True Vegas Tale."

[Miguel Pais]

This is a fantastic, really funny book on how evil can help get where you want to, and I loved reading it. I wouldn't recommend it unless you have an open mind, though!

[Lawrence Roth]

This was a simple, quick, fun, and funny read, so this review will also be just as short. Stanley Bing has compiled an entertaining and casually sociopathic guide on how to be more like Machiavelli in the modern day particularly if you work in business. Along the way, he references well known figures in late 90s- early 2000s business and culture. The book was published in 2002 so younger readers (myself included) might not know many of the people mentioned but there are certainly a few that definitely stand out as prime examples of Machiavellian Princes. Oh how I wish I could know what Bing's reaction was to witnessing the Trump and Giuliani of 2020s as opposed to the ones he knew in the 1990s.

A recommend from me if you want some insight into why some of your coworkers and especially your bosses seem so goddamn cutthroat sometimes. Or if you wanna become more of a sociopath. Or if you need a cynical laugh or two in your life.

[Les]

Firstly, when I saw this on the shelf at the library amongst the other books about leadership, I said, aloud, "Just read 'The Prince!'" Machiavelli literally tells you what he would do in that book.

However, this is a satirical account of Machiavellian values as applicable to business, and thus should not be taken seriously. Interestingly, Bing mentions Trump and Weinstein in this book, doing neither any favours with his writing, and it makes for a different reading experience in 2018 than I presume it would in 2000 when it was published. Context is of course key when assessing this text, but I found it only mildly humourous and not as pithy as I'd have liked.

Cute. But in a much more real sense, not cute at all.

[Ernesto Orozco]

This book in the wrong hands could (and probably has) lead to some pretty toxic ideas forming in people’s minds.

My friend gave it to me in high school and said it seemed like something I would like. Took me a few years, but after reading, I’m not sure if I should be taking great offense to this gift.

The book is funny and satirical and I’m curious if he knew that at the time of gifting it to me. I hope so. Otherwise, I have a lot to work on.

Awkward to read on a plane?
6.1/10
What is the likelihood of the average person knowing who Machiavelli is? Whatever it is, that’s how awkward it is on the plane.

[Noelle Rowan]

This book is absolutely hysterical!!! More so because of the reviews that actually presumed there would be legitimate solid advice waiting for them. LOL. It’s over the top, blunt, witty, satirical, unapologetic theme is exactly what I needed to read while my planes were delayed over and over again at the airport. A real gut-buster I tell you. Pay no attention to the bozos trying to deter you away from a belly full of laughter. Read this gem.

[Cullen Haynes]

What would Machiavelli Do? Bing’s book is remarkably amusing when applying this satirical question to this our modern day.
Think of it as a tongue in cheek how to, for those who usually think only of others and want to follow in the footsteps of the master of hedonism.
A funny read, one not to be taken too seriously, however human nuances are quite intriguing when viewed from the aside.
If you loved Greene’s ‘48 Laws of Power’ and ‘Mastery’, you will appreciate Bing’s “guide”.

[Randy]

If you ever wanted a clear insight to be an @sshole for a boss, or what drives a person to be one, this is a good book to learn all about that. lol

A lot of what is in here would not be taught in Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, but this will help get you on track for a life of being Ebenezer Scrooge.

There are those that you may know where you can just refer to them as Machiavelli now.

[Safa laggoun]

الأن أنت تخبرني أن أستغل الناس بدون ضمير و أهينهم وأن أمثل أمامهم وأصبح منافقة فقط لأن الغاية تبرر الوسيلة حتى إذا كانت هذه الوسيل غير صحية بتاتا لا لي ولا لغيري
كما أنك تواصل في الأمري وتقول لي أنني إذا لم أعمل بغبث في هذا العالم الفاسد وأن أزيده فسادا فيجب أن أموت ؟؟؟
*أنا لا أمزح هذا حرفيا ما قاله الكتاب*
لا شكرا سوف أحذف ال40% مما قرأت وأواصل حياتي بسلام

[Carla Isabel]

De estilo demasiado sarcástico.
Nadie podría tomárselo demasido enserio o rotundo, aunque me sorprende que algunos lo hagan .
Si bien, sólo con ciertas certezas en gr algunas situaciones remarcables.

[Vinay]

Ruthlessly written about the master strategist or Chanakya of Italy.

But yes, sometimes being nice will impede your way, so be more result oriented regardless of how others feel. Some good tips and one can learn the ways or observe when someone else is doing the same.

[Mihdi Paiman]

a perfect book, it talks about how to controll your mind by using this book and it talks about Machiavelli who is basically a character in this book which is really rich and shows in this book how he started his business.

[Elle]

(DNF - pg40)

[Dylan]

Not impressed by this book. Doesn't appear to have been edited properly, no excuse for spelling errors in a book.

The book is humorous at times but most of it falls flat.

[Andrew Markos]

I get that it's a joke, it's just that it's not actually that funny and became tiresome after the first few pages

[Robert]

Witty and brief. Best read in short periods so the tone does not diminish your enjoyment.

[Sean]

More satire than real advice, it's amusing to see how many of examples he's listed have turned out twenty years later. But for a better translation of Machiavelli, look elsewhere.