Transformative Friendships: 7 Questions to Deepen Any Relationship

by Brad Hambrick

Transformative Friendships shares seven simple questions that will help you be intentional with your relationships and offers a springboard to deepening and strengthening friendships that will enrich your life. Building meaningful friendships is not as easy as we wish it was. A culture that is lonelier and more disconnected than ever proves how hard it can be. In Transformative Friendships , counselor Brad Hambrick encourages readers to develop new rhythms, habits, and lifestyles that will shape and grow their relationships, both with casual acquaintances and closer friends. The goal is not to develop perfect friendships, but rather learn to how to cultivate deep connections that grow steadily over time through conversations based on simple questions and common interactions. Hambrick’s biblical vision for friendship calls Christians to engage with one another in the transformational way God intended.

Genres: Counselling, Christian Living, Spirituality, Christian

160 pages, Paperback

Published March 18, 2024

Reviews

[D.J. Skipps · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book posed some great questions, but I found the system and structure a bit confusing. The author’s writing style didn’t quite resonate with me, and I often found myself feeling lost. However, the content is scripturally sound and relevant, particularly challenging for men. I would recommend this book to anyone looking to deepen friendships, though it’s not the kind of book you simply read through. It would be best suited for a group setting, with participants who are willing to engage deeply and work through the exercises and questions posed. Overall, I see myself referring back to the questions, but I likely wouldn’t read the entire book again.

[Joshua Morgan]

This will certainly be in my top 3 books of the year, if not number 1 when all is said and done (read?). Transformative Friendships is profound on so many levels, but mostly because it is so practical - as evidenced by the 150+ examples of questions to ask to deepen your friendships. There are no wasted words and his insights on the biblical nature of friendship are so simple and helpful. I will be buying copies of this book for all of our small group leaders in preparation for this coming year as we focus on friendship and hospitality.

[Joshua Chatman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This resource is exceptional. It’s biblical and practical. To ask and answer these questions requires intentionality and vulnerability. Yet, there’s potential to experience the blessing of being known and loved, encouraged and supported, challenged and strengthened in the faith. I took so many notes while reading this.

The Lord made us for relationships, with himself and one another. He uses meaningful friendships where there’s relational depth to build us up in the faith. This resource helps readers cultivate meaningful relationships. I certainly plan to put to practice what I’ve learned.

I HIGHLY recommend this resource.

[Debbie Channell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most helpful book on friendships that I have ever read.

[Wayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The value of this book is that it models a way for friendships to intentionally nudge from shallower to deeper. Hambrick’s questions are useful at each depth. This is a book to pick up and read with a friend (or a spouse). You’ll be well rewarded.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a unique and thought-provoking way to look at how to grow friendships deeper. This is more than a list of questions (though questions are included), but an approach. Very helpful!

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent little book. There is a lot here I would like to come back and revisit as I look to deepen friendships. The questions are great suggestions for meaningful conversations that can lead to growth and change.

My only confusion, and this was very small, is that sometimes the questions were to be asked of a friend while others are to be asked of yourself. A little explanation of that would have helped me track a bit better.

[Blessing Bloodworth (naptimereaders) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christians are created for connection - first with Christ, and then with His body, the Church. Those important connections with the body of Christ take place in the form of Biblical friendships. But too many of us have felt the strain of developing those meaningful relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. If you’ve felt that strain, pick up this book and step into the freedom of cultivating friendships in an intentional & biblical way that leads to meaningful & transformative friendships.

If you read this book, you’re not given a manual on how to have perfect friendships. Rather, you’re equipped with tools and practical concepts that are the springboard for deep connections.
Friendship is like a garden, taking time and intentionally to cultivate and flourish. This book provides you with the gardening tools, in the form of questions & conversations, that will help you grow your friendships steadily over time as you faithfully invest in the lives of other people. The questions are simple and they take place in the context of common interactions, so friendships grow and deepen in a meaningful & authentic way.

[Andrew Krom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hambrick's book on friend is excellent and helpful to intentionally think about friendship. The book is broken down into 7 main questions (or "levels" of friendship). The 7 questions are, "What's Your Story", "What's Good", "What's Hard", "What's Bad", "What's Fun", "What's Stuck", and "What's Next". Hambrick breaks down each of these questions in 5 sections (or depths of friendship). The first section is usually something you may get to over coffee. The final depth is something that you will likely only have with a few people across a lifetime.
I really enjoyed this book. The most helpful part for me was after each question and the following 5 sections on that question, Hambrick included a "Summative Exercise". These exercises were extremely practical and I have already used a few of them. These exercises alone are worth the read of this book.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever wished that your friendships were deeper? That you were able to share more honestly with each other, both the joys and the challenges that you each face?Hambrick provides a simple yet effective guide to deeper friendships - through the use of seven questions: What’s your story? What’s good? Hard? Bad? Fun? Stuck? Next?

Each is broken down further into five depths of growth. The breadth of questions and the various depths to which they are explored is quite extensive. It is designed for mutual friendships, where both are committed to deepening the relationship. He also cautions - not every friendship will move to the deepest level. It’s appropriate to have numerous friends, all at different levels.

There is no overarching theological framework of friendship and how it could look. It assumes you are a Christian who wants to deepen your friendships with other Christians and dives in at that point. This keeps the book short (150 pages) and easy to read, with each mini chapter being only about 3 pages. Of course, enacting it will take much longer with considerably more effort!

Hambrick’s goal however is to produce friendships “that enrich our lives a little more each day”. You could implement it by sharing a bit more and allowing space for a friend them to do the same, or you could read it with a friend and intentionally plan to utilise it together. However you use it, this book will give lots of prompts and encouragements to invest in good, supportive, honest friendships.

For a more detailed review, see https://musingsinadelaide.blogspot.co...

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having a good friend is powerful but cultivating such a friendship may be difficult. Hambrick suggests seven questions to help develop meaningful engagement. Each of those seven questions has five levels and Hambrick gives questions to ask to stimulate movement through each deeper level.

My favorite part of the book dealt with the question about what is hard. While there is much a friend can do, Hambrick clarifies that a friend cannot be a substitute for God's perfect compassion. His section on what's bad is thought provoking in that we must be willing to talk about sin. That is challenging.

We are reminded that transparency may be the most “powerful, yet most neglected, tool for character formation. (995/2072) “In friendship, we must take the risk of being known if we are going to know the joy of being loved.” (1887/2072)

Friendships are so important and I really appreciate Hambrick's suggestions for developing transformative ones, ones that help us become more the people God wants us to be. I found this book to also be valuable for personal learning and development. I recommend this book to those willing to take a journey of self-awareness and friendship intentionality.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

[Martin Toomajian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great framework of seven questions to explore in order to deepen friendships. The author is clearly a fine counselor and this book has nice nuggets of wisdom. The book creates a structure of five levels of depth for each question, with a chapter for each depth level for each question. It creates too many artificial boundaries in the chapter, where seven longer chapters would have worked fine. That said, I’m going to regularly return to these questions when I’m with friends:
What’s your story?
What’s good?
What’s bad?
What’s hard?
What’s fun?
What’s stuck?
What’s next?

[Maria Liu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting framework and helpful questions for friendships! The systematic approach and distinctions between levels of friendship didn’t always resonate with me, but still contained lots of nuggets of wisdom. The topic of this book could be for anyone, but I almost feel this approach would resonate with men slightly more.

[Samm Ellingson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm never impressed by questions but I loved and was impressed with all of the questions in this book. i cant wait to deepen my friendships and encourage others to do the same through these principles and shooting for the 35 level friendships

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, wise help to deepen your friendships...if you do it!

[Mark Santana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book with practical advice to develop biblical friendships that go much deeper than just surface level.

[Paytron Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5. Good simple book on theologically and practically thinking through what it looks like to develop lasting and God glorifying friendships.

[Darren Maxfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book. This has some really good questions and things to think about as we engage with our friends. Ways to take them deeper and more meaningful.

[Letitia Kwan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good framework for how you can intentionally grow friendships at different depths