Me' Her' Us

by Yen-Rong Wong

Memoir-essays from an award-winning writer, exploring race, sex, familial expectation and identity. Raised by strict, religious, Malaysian Chinese parents in Brisbane's southern suburbs, Yen-Rong Wong internalised an idealised image of a Chinese-presenting girl at a young age. As she grew into young adulthood, she began to bristle against the weight of these expectations and the pressure to conform to cultural notions of family and future. However, she couldn't find any stories to help her forge her own path – so she decided to write one for herself. In this compelling collection of essays, Wong blends memoir and cultural criticism to interrogate perceptions around sex, racism, and familial dynamics. Laying bare her own life, she examines the joys and difficulties that lie at the intersections of her identity. Brave, unflinching, and with a dash of wry humour, Me, Her, Us is a provocative book for our times.

Genres: Nonfiction

218 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 29, 2023

Reviews

[Alexandra Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a privilege to know someone with such unbearable talent! This reads like a conversational piece, but of course with the ongoing thread of Yen-rong’s impeccable manipulation of the English language and her mind boggling attention to detail in research. The natural - and enjoyable - flow of this book can be attributed to dutiful editing in conjunction with the immeasurable care taken in laying out the cohesion. It also has the remarkable ability to present complex, and emotionally-charged (as they should be) topics in a way that encased Yen-rong’s experience in such a way that cannot be belittled by even the most virulently "I'm not a racist but" critics. No doubt they'll try, but … well. Read it and see :)

[Liam Fitzgerald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wong is incredibly intelligent yet makes her writing accessible and engaging. It’s a vital perspective that I’m so glad has been published. I found the discussions on the Chinese language, racial stereotypes and the idea of being a race traitor particularly nuanced and interesting. Thank you to my lovely friend Hayley for buying this for me!

[Amanda Mergler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic book. An engaging mix of research and memoir that is illuminating.

I am always impressed by authors who share so much of themselves on the page, particularly when discussing intimate, identity-shaping areas. This book is very honest and full of courage.

I recommend this book to any human who wants to understand the range of ways peoples lives are impacted by the 'isms' that surround us.

An intelligent and powerful read.

[Kim Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is simultaneously a deeply personal memoir and socioculturally important text. A text that I occasionally felt suitably uncomfortable reading and that I imagine I will be reflecting on in years to come. As a white Australian who works predominately in Southeast Asia, I still have much to learn. I am indebted to Yen-Rong for her courage in starting these conversations and hope that other young women will find in these essays the role modelling and visibility that she herself needed as she was growing up.

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Nell Glynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book really opened my eyes to perspective I hadn't fully considered.
It was personal and put it all out there.

[Chris Seymour · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book, which is very frank and open, especially about her personal life. Her love/hate relationship with her mother rang many bells with me. The generalised criticism of white men is a bit hard to take. We are a large group and like most large groups have a wide variety of characters. Also, she is somewhat inconsistent. In one chapter she complains that there are very few Asian women porno stars and later complains that white men see Asian women as sex objects. She bangs on a lot that Asian women in Australia are weak and powerless. She seems not to have noticed that Penny Wong, who shares her Malaysian Chinese ethnicity, is Foreign Minister. How much more powerful can you get? Likewise, she never mentions Shemara Wikramanayake, CEO of Macquarie Bank Group, or Dr. Mehreen Faruqi, deputy leader of the Greens in the Senate, now holding the balance of power. If she had examined powerful women instead of pushing the victimhood line, she might have asked why powerful women seem to not like other women. Penny Wong has appointed very few female ambassadors or High Commissioners. Margaret Thatcher preferred weak men to strong women in her cabinet. And in the US, Kamala Harris had the pick of talented women, but chose an anodyne white guy as her running mate.

[T. Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

How terrible and lovely it is to pick up a book in West End and find someone who has lived my life, right down to crying on the Coronation Dr commute.

Me, Her, Us is a peek into what it means to be raised as christian chinese diaspora, the way the world views the sexual maturing of asian woman, and the interal shcism it spawns within. Wong's reflections on self-disgust, sexualisation, guilt, and the struggle for connection across generational and cultural expectations is comfortingly real and realatable. Some sections venture from personal memoir into cultural commentary, which I found rushed or oversimplified in some places, but that's sort of the nature of these things.

I almost expected Wong to conclude with her secret to total body and image autonomy, but she instead leaves us with the knowledge of how the world reacts to asian woman, and asks instead how each of us may change the way we move through the world in light of that.

I would have killed for a book like this when I was younger, but I'm glad to have found it now.

[1dalltheway5432 · Rating 3 out of 5]

i acc enjoyed reading this book it was a very easy read and referenced some important political and colonial resources to aid in explaining how fucked up white people can make a woman of colour feel. reading her story, there were many points that were relatable as a second gen immigrant daughter. i think the colonial notion of categories and its implementation throughout the colonies and society at large would have been a great talking point in relation to the othering of east asian women through objectification and categorisation. this is a great read for young women who are terrified of being separate from their culture but also terrified of fully assimilating in western culture and ideals.

[Steve MinOn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: I know Yen-Rong Wong. But I didn't know this about her. She is fearless and generous about sharing so much of herself. It's a privilege to be given such an insight into someone's personal life. The writing is not heavy, it's funny in places and though the brain is clearly engaged in her intellectual exploration of modern, POC feminist theory, there is heart being flayed here. It feels like being invited to progressive therapy sessions, where the relationship between Yen-Rong and her mother is being explored in real time, chapter by chapter. These are essays, but really it's a character study of someone you may never have met if you hadn't read this and allowed her to open up to you this way. There is much to relate to here.

[Beanie Beelze · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. It had been a hot minute since the last novel I have read start to finish and when I picked this up I couldn't put it down. The author comes from a fiction back ground and I found her writing in this non fiction piece read so well and fluidly. I found it funny, interesting and informative as well as helped provide a new perspective on the differences of growing up as a P.O.C in white Australia. Highly recommend.

[Courtney Holt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was beautifully written, well researched and easy to consume whilst making me reflect on my own internal biases

The only thing I kept thinking was ‘this is reading more like an essay than a novel’… turns out it is a collection of essays and I didn’t read the blurb properly 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Tong Kosong · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished reading it cover to cover, but only after 2 or three years. It lacked continuous narrative. Feels more like an in between of a gender studies literature review and a first person account. Would have preferred either one or the other and to go full on in one direction.

[Madeline Prebble · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very engaging mix of memoir and research, particularly connected with the ‘me’ section, and found the information throughout poignant and insightful

[Hayden Wong · Rating 3 out of 5]

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