Do Shut Up, Mister Simms

by Rachael Acks

For Mister Simms, it’s not so much waiting for the other shoe to drop as hoping that it kills him when it hits.

While Captain Ramos is away, Mister Simms is in charge of her crew, much to his dismay. He desperately hopes for a boring time until her return. He hopes in vain.

When one of the crew is captured, it’s boring old Simms to the rescue—if he’s equal to the task. Then a familiar face from the past shows up and offers her help: Deliah Nimowitz. Simms may not trust Deliah further than he can throw her and her inherited tiny dog Chippy, but he has little choice.

Dragging his heels the entire way, he’s drawn into Deliah’s web of deceit and trickery, and it’s up to him to find a way out before they both get their necks stretched by the hangman. But first he must answer to one important question: what does Deliah want?

The answer might just kill him if the smell doesn’t do the job first.

51 pages, ebook

First published October 30, 2013

About the author

Alex Acks (formerly known as Rachael Acks) is a writer, geologist, and sharp-dressed sir. Their debut biker gang space witch novel, Hunger Makes the Wolf, was published by Angry Robot Books under the pen name Alex Wells. They’ve had short fiction in Strange Horizons, Crossed Genres, Daily Science Fiction, Lightspeed, and more, and write movie reviews for Strange Horizons and Mothership Zeta. They’ve also written several episodes of Six to Start’s Superhero Workout game. Alex lives in Denver (where they bicycle, drink tea, and twirl their ever-so-dapper mustache) with their two furry little bastards. For more information, see http://www.alexacks.com

Reviews

[Oracleofdoom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the fifth installment in this series of novellas, generally revolving around the infamous pirate, Captain Ramos, although that character does not appear in this particular novella. If you have not read any of these, I recommend starting with Murder on the Titania.

As one might guess, this story features Mister Simms, Ramos's much grumpier sidekick. Indeed, he seems so pessimistic to start with that he was starting to remind me of Eeyore. Despite Mister Simm's tendency to expect the worst out of a given situation, the writing is quite witty and humorous. We also get to see a great deal of Deliah Nimowitz, Her appearances in the past have been brief but intriguing, so I was pleased to get to see more of her.

This story gives us a chance to get a slightly deeper understanding of both of these two characters and what motivates them. Simms more than Deliah, admittedly. In between the humorous moments are some serious thoughts from Simms on the state of the world, providing much more insight as to why he has chosen the life he leads, aside from mere gratitude toward Captain Ramos. That said, I would love to read a story about how Simms and Ramos met, one day. The references to it make me more eager to read about it.

If you've enjoyed the other novellas in this series, you're sure to enjoy this one. I highly recommend it.