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Desperately Seeking Something: A Memoir About Movies, Mothers, and Material Girls
The funny and insightful first-person story of the trailblazing movie director of the 80s and 90s whose fearless punk drama, “Smithereens” became the first American indie film to compete at Cannes, and smash hit "Desperately Seeking Susan" led to a four-decade career in film. Starting out in the mid-70s, a time when few women were directing movies, Susan was determined to become a filmmaker. She longed to tell stories about the unrepresented characters she wanted to see on unconventional women in unusual circumstances, needing to express themselves and maintain their autonomy. Her genre-blending films reflect a passion for classic Hollywood storytelling, mixed with a playful New Wave spirit, informed by her years living in downtown NYC. Seidelman continued to shape American pop culture well into the nineties, directing the pilot of the iconic TV series “Sex And The City,” focusing her sharp lens on the changing place of women in American society and helping to fundamentally reshape our self-image in ways that are still felt today.BOOK in the safe cocoon of 1960s suburbia, Susan Seidelman wasn’t a misfit, an oddball, or an outlier. She was a “good-girl” with a little bit of “bad” hidden inside. A restless teenager, she dreamed of escape and reinvention, a theme that would play out in her films as well as in her own life. Because she loved stories, a high school guidance counselor suggested she become a librarian, but she had her sights set further afield. In 1973, she left the Philly suburbs, enrolled at NYU’s burgeoning graduate film school and moved to NYC’s Lower East Side. There, she found herself in the right place at the right time. New York City was falling apart, but out of that chaos came a burst of creative energy whose effects are still felt in American pop culture today. Downtown became a vibrant playground where film, music, performance and graffiti art cross-pollinated and where Seidelman chronicled the lives of the colorful misfits, oddballs, dreamers and schemers she met there.It’s all in DESPERATELY SEEKING SOMETHING. Seidelman not only has a keen perspective on the times she’s lived through -- from her Twiggy-obsessed girlhood, through the Women’s Lib movement of the early 70s, the punk scene of the late 70s, Madonna-mania of the 80s, to the dot-com “greed is good” 90s, and beyond--she tells great stories.
368 pages, Hardcover
Published June 18, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews
April 6, 2025
Desperately Seeking Susan
Sex and the City
She Devil
Remember these iconic movies and tv series from the ‘80s and 90’s? They were all directed by one of the first female directors in the business, Susan Seidelman. Who is this pioneer? Seidelman is an ordinary Jewish woman from the suburbs of Philadelphia who persisted in a male dominated profession to make the kind of movies she wanted to make.
“Can you be ordinary and still have something extraordinary to say? Do memoirs have to involve death, drugs, war, dysfunctional parents, sexual abuse, or mental illness?”
Unfortunately in this case, yes they do.
I listened to the audiobook which is NOT read by the author. Instead, Jaime Lamchick provides a competent narration, pronouncing all of the Hebrew and Yiddish words correctly. However, I still felt hyper aware of the fact that this was not the author speaking about her personal life.
Each chapter is cleverly titled with a song that helps express the content of the section. I really appreciated this element of the book, which helped elevate my reading experience. The book is peppered with Seidelman’s wry sense of humor, which I also enjoyed.
However, I quickly became bored with the chronological telling of events. I eventually felt a bit disconnected and bored, speeding up the audiobook significantly so that I could hurry up and finish it.
Two random surprising facts I learned about Rosanna Arquette:
Toto’s song “Rosanna” and Peter Gabriel’s song “In Your Eyes” were written about her, as she dated the lead singers. 😳
3.5/5 stars rounded down
Sex and the City
She Devil
Remember these iconic movies and tv series from the ‘80s and 90’s? They were all directed by one of the first female directors in the business, Susan Seidelman. Who is this pioneer? Seidelman is an ordinary Jewish woman from the suburbs of Philadelphia who persisted in a male dominated profession to make the kind of movies she wanted to make.
“Can you be ordinary and still have something extraordinary to say? Do memoirs have to involve death, drugs, war, dysfunctional parents, sexual abuse, or mental illness?”
Unfortunately in this case, yes they do.
I listened to the audiobook which is NOT read by the author. Instead, Jaime Lamchick provides a competent narration, pronouncing all of the Hebrew and Yiddish words correctly. However, I still felt hyper aware of the fact that this was not the author speaking about her personal life.
Each chapter is cleverly titled with a song that helps express the content of the section. I really appreciated this element of the book, which helped elevate my reading experience. The book is peppered with Seidelman’s wry sense of humor, which I also enjoyed.
However, I quickly became bored with the chronological telling of events. I eventually felt a bit disconnected and bored, speeding up the audiobook significantly so that I could hurry up and finish it.
Two random surprising facts I learned about Rosanna Arquette:
Toto’s song “Rosanna” and Peter Gabriel’s song “In Your Eyes” were written about her, as she dated the lead singers. 😳
3.5/5 stars rounded down
June 12, 2024
Susan Seidelman paved the way for female directors. While even now it’s still a male-dominated field, imagine how much more of challenge it was for her back in the late 70s and early 80s at the start of her career. Her “I’ll show them” attitude and sheer talent have been assets as she navigated the tough showbiz industry. Desperately Seeking Susan, which featured Madonna in her first film role, is the movie that really put Susan on the map with the general viewing public. (Her previous film, Smithereens, was screened at the prestigious Cannes film festival.) Susan continued to direct feature films as well as a few episodes of Sex and the City, including the pilot. A well-written memoir about the life and career of a trailblazer.
I won a free advance copy in a Goodreads giveaway. All thoughts expressed are my honest opinion.
I won a free advance copy in a Goodreads giveaway. All thoughts expressed are my honest opinion.
July 25, 2024
Wow! I really enjoyed that. It was thoughtful and engaging; Seidelman can set a scene and tell a story. I love Desperately Seeking Susan and Smithereens, her first two feature-length movies; I’m curious now to see some of her other movies. There was a good balance of personal life and professional life, as well as how she thinks about directing.
June 13, 2024
Desperately Seeking Something by Susan Seidelman
Story and Content: A-
Writing: A-
Narration: A Read by the Author
Best Aspect: Covered movies I have loved and I learned a lot about those and the authors life.
Worst Aspect: A tad long in parts.
Recommend: Yes.
Story and Content: A-
Writing: A-
Narration: A Read by the Author
Best Aspect: Covered movies I have loved and I learned a lot about those and the authors life.
Worst Aspect: A tad long in parts.
Recommend: Yes.
November 3, 2024
It was sometime last summer that I became fully aware of Susan Seidelman, award winning movie and TV director. I was listening to The Jessica Shaw Show on Sirius XM radio in which Seidelman was being interviewed about her life and career. I was enthralled and made a check with my local library to see if Seidelman's new memoir was available (it was). And so I borrowed the book. But with other books I then had on a higher rung of my TBR List, it was only within the last 2 weeks that I took up the book and read it.
I became absorbed in Seidelman's life, from her formative years in the suburbs of Philadelphia during the 1960s and early 1970s as the oldest of 3 children; her life in New York after her college graduation and subsequent admission into and graduation from NYU Film School; her early attempts to be taken seriously by a movie industry during the late 1970s and early 1980s in which women directors were rarer than hens' teeth; her first successes with the movies "Smithereens" (1982) and "Suddenly Seeking Susan" (1985) which helped solidify the flourishing of 'Madonna-mania" which went on to sweep the world (I was then in college and remember that very well - then I thought Madonna would peak after the success of her song Material Girl and disappear - how wrong I was! Kudos to Madonna); and the sheer richness and diversity of Susan Seidelman's life and career from the 1980s to today. She certainly knows how to tell an engrossing and captivating story.
For anyone who enjoys reading well-told, engaging memoirs, look no further. DESPERATELY SEEKING SOMETHING is the ticket.
I became absorbed in Seidelman's life, from her formative years in the suburbs of Philadelphia during the 1960s and early 1970s as the oldest of 3 children; her life in New York after her college graduation and subsequent admission into and graduation from NYU Film School; her early attempts to be taken seriously by a movie industry during the late 1970s and early 1980s in which women directors were rarer than hens' teeth; her first successes with the movies "Smithereens" (1982) and "Suddenly Seeking Susan" (1985) which helped solidify the flourishing of 'Madonna-mania" which went on to sweep the world (I was then in college and remember that very well - then I thought Madonna would peak after the success of her song Material Girl and disappear - how wrong I was! Kudos to Madonna); and the sheer richness and diversity of Susan Seidelman's life and career from the 1980s to today. She certainly knows how to tell an engrossing and captivating story.
For anyone who enjoys reading well-told, engaging memoirs, look no further. DESPERATELY SEEKING SOMETHING is the ticket.
November 30, 2023
Is Susan Seidelman a household name?
Probably not. She should be.
Starting out in the 70s, Seidelman was determined to become a filmmaker at a time when the industry was still dominated by men. When her student film was nominated for a Student Academy Award, it became readily apparent that Seidelman was immensely talented. She followed that up with "Smithereens," a 1982 film that was the first American indie to compete at Cannes. She would solidify her place in Hollywood history three years later with "Desperately Seeking Susan," a Rosanna Arquette/Madonna starring film that became a smash hit and paved the way for Seidelman's 40-year filmmaking career.
"Desperately Seeking Something: A Memoir About Movies, Mothers, and Material Girls" is quintessential Seidelman - hilarious, brash, brutally honest, insightful, and surprisingly playful. "Desperately Seeking Something" isn't simply a rehashing of Seidelman's films - it's a journey through Seidelman's life from childhood "through the Women’s Lib movement of the early 70s, the punk scene of the late 70s, Madonna-mania of the 80s, to the dot-com “greed is good” 90s, and beyond."
Seidelman is fiercely honest, unafraid to call out the bad experiences and rave about the good ones. Unsurprisingly, her biggest successes get the most print but she also shares the challenging times with films that didn't quite hit like "Cookie," "Making Mr. Right," and "She-Devil," the latter featuring the glorious teaming of Meryl Streep and Roseanne.
Seidelman is also a glorious storyteller, enlightening us with everything from Hollywood insights to her long-time relationship with Jonathan Brett to motherhood to 9/11.
Fun facts about Seidelman that you may not realize:
She shared an Oscar nomination with Brett for the live-action short film "The Dutch Master."
In 2013, she directed "Musical Chairs," a film featuring a cast of non-disabled and disabled actors.
Seidelman directed the very first episode of "Sex and the City."
There's so much more. An engaging and entertaining memoir that goes outside the usual biography/memoir box, "Desperately Seeking Something" is a must-read for fans of movie history and for those who want to celebrate the growing presence of female filmmakers and the early pioneers who paved the way.
Probably not. She should be.
Starting out in the 70s, Seidelman was determined to become a filmmaker at a time when the industry was still dominated by men. When her student film was nominated for a Student Academy Award, it became readily apparent that Seidelman was immensely talented. She followed that up with "Smithereens," a 1982 film that was the first American indie to compete at Cannes. She would solidify her place in Hollywood history three years later with "Desperately Seeking Susan," a Rosanna Arquette/Madonna starring film that became a smash hit and paved the way for Seidelman's 40-year filmmaking career.
"Desperately Seeking Something: A Memoir About Movies, Mothers, and Material Girls" is quintessential Seidelman - hilarious, brash, brutally honest, insightful, and surprisingly playful. "Desperately Seeking Something" isn't simply a rehashing of Seidelman's films - it's a journey through Seidelman's life from childhood "through the Women’s Lib movement of the early 70s, the punk scene of the late 70s, Madonna-mania of the 80s, to the dot-com “greed is good” 90s, and beyond."
Seidelman is fiercely honest, unafraid to call out the bad experiences and rave about the good ones. Unsurprisingly, her biggest successes get the most print but she also shares the challenging times with films that didn't quite hit like "Cookie," "Making Mr. Right," and "She-Devil," the latter featuring the glorious teaming of Meryl Streep and Roseanne.
Seidelman is also a glorious storyteller, enlightening us with everything from Hollywood insights to her long-time relationship with Jonathan Brett to motherhood to 9/11.
Fun facts about Seidelman that you may not realize:
She shared an Oscar nomination with Brett for the live-action short film "The Dutch Master."
In 2013, she directed "Musical Chairs," a film featuring a cast of non-disabled and disabled actors.
Seidelman directed the very first episode of "Sex and the City."
There's so much more. An engaging and entertaining memoir that goes outside the usual biography/memoir box, "Desperately Seeking Something" is a must-read for fans of movie history and for those who want to celebrate the growing presence of female filmmakers and the early pioneers who paved the way.
July 6, 2024
Generally speaking I would rather gouge out my own eyes than read a Hollywood memoir, but I was happy to make an exception for Susan Seidelman and she didn’t disappoint.
No trauma dumping or self-sainting here, just the sharp and self-deprecating Seidelman telling great stories and celebrating successes. She makes for a great narrator with whom you’ll gladly go along for the ride, focusing mostly on her work and not on sharing personal secrets. The stories she does tell that are personal or relate to her family and friends are charming and worthy of inclusion.
I liked the first half of this better than the second half, but that’s largely because it’s where we get Seidelman’s experience being young and trying to make it in New York, as well as all the terrific background on Smithereens and Desperately Seeking Susan.
In all, Seidelman is a joy to spend time with.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange in exchange with honest review.*
No trauma dumping or self-sainting here, just the sharp and self-deprecating Seidelman telling great stories and celebrating successes. She makes for a great narrator with whom you’ll gladly go along for the ride, focusing mostly on her work and not on sharing personal secrets. The stories she does tell that are personal or relate to her family and friends are charming and worthy of inclusion.
I liked the first half of this better than the second half, but that’s largely because it’s where we get Seidelman’s experience being young and trying to make it in New York, as well as all the terrific background on Smithereens and Desperately Seeking Susan.
In all, Seidelman is a joy to spend time with.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange in exchange with honest review.*
August 9, 2024
4.5 stars If you like Memoirs by interesting women of lives well lived, this one is for you. I really enjoyed this.
April 29, 2025
Read for library movie series. Pretty good Hollywood memoir. Shines a light on women creators in film.
June 1, 2024
As a fan of Seidelman’s films, I was eager to dive into this - while career retrospective memoirs like this can be pretty hit or miss, I am delighted to report that I found this tremendously charming and consistently entertaining. It has its flaws - I found the chapter-title songs silly and a little too cute at times, and there are points where the chronology gets a bit confusing, often in service of what feels like over-explaining a point or providing context that might’ve been better left on the cutting room floor. But those sins are so, so minor - this is delightful, and Seidelman’s voice shines through the whole time. What a career! New York in the ‘70s and ‘80s seemed like a helluva place to be.
My sincere thanks to NetGalley and MacMillan Audio for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
My sincere thanks to NetGalley and MacMillan Audio for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
June 4, 2024
Susan triumphs again! Desperately Seeking Something is a MUST READ. This book is a page turner; filled with Susan's personal stories and insights about movie making, celebs, motherhood and just growing up in the crazy, fun and confusing times of the 60s to the 90s - and beyond. Susan tells it all with wit, truth and humble charm.
July 12, 2024
Sweeping generalities, memory issues, neurosis, feminist filtering, extremely short chapters, ridiculous song-title framing devices, and some surprising factual errors combine with a few great stories about filmmaking in this unsatisfying memoir.
Seidelman thinks very highly of herself and propagates her warped view of the world--a Jewish material girl raised in Philly before she became a longtime New Yorker, she seems clueless about middle America, average citizens outside her culture, or anything beyond the coasts. At one point as a young adult when she flew off to Europe she admitted she had never been west of Pennsylvania!
Her very narrow perspective on everything she encounters makes for a book filled with stereotypes, judgmental statements, and inaccurate conclusions. Mix that with some interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits about her famous movies and you have about one-fourth to one-third of a book worth reading. There are many sections that could have been cut and I wish she would have left out the cold-hearted defense of her abortion, claiming she wanted the baby but it "wasn't the right time or the right partner" after a one-night stand just before Desperately Seeking Susan started filming. The male-bashing also gets really old, blaming guys for anything she perceives as mistreatment.
She divides her stories into almost 70 small chapters, from 2 to 8 pages. Her annoying chapter titles all refer to songs and artists. Why? I have no idea. It detracts from the autobiography. Sometimes the chapter titles have nothing to do with the content and are more interesting than what she writes.
The errors are difficult to overlook, though she excuses everything away by repeatedly saying she has a bad memory for details. Um, isn't a film director supposed to be good at juggling multiple details and concerned about minutia? She even says it herself on the pages: "God is in the details. Details may seem small and insignificant, but they can speak volumes about character." And on the next page, "If you're not good at multitasking, directing is not the right job for you." Maybe writing a memoir isn't then, either, Susan Seidelman.
Some of the fact checking readers will need to do includes: "It was 1967, before the advent of cable TV." Nope, cable started around 1950 and I personally had it growing up long before 1967. SHE may not have had cable, but this just proves her ignorance about the rest of the country, which she repeats again later in the book when she gets to Sex and the City claims that "It was now 1997, the early days of pay cable, and HBO was primarily known for broadcasting movies that had played in movie theaters." Look it up--HBO had been around for 25 years by that point and I counted 62 original TV series that had been on HBO by 1997. This woman doesn't know what she's talking about despite helming one of HBO's greatest all time hits.
Another: "Rona Gail had been a child actress" that the author says she befriended in high school, mentioned a few times in the book. It's too bad she didn't do a quick online search to find that the woman's name was Rona Gale (not Gail).
Seidelman tells Madonna to pattern her Susan character after movie "screwball comedies of the 1930s and 1940s (like) Judy Holliday in Born Yesterday." That movie was released in 1950. The author also moved into a NYC apartment that was owned by a "man that had been a child actor--one of the gang in an early TV series called The Little Rascals, later renamed Spanky and Our Gang." Of course if you know film history you are aware that the Our Gang name came first from the 20s to the 40s, it was not an original TV show but a movie series. Repeats were repackaged years later for both theaters and television under the name The Little Rascals.
Her know-it-all attitude forces one to point out the errors and makes you want to push back at her snarky obnoxiousness. For a writer so worried about "truth" and "telling women's stories," it's difficult to believe anything she has written when she admits serious memory issues and can't take a few minutes to look some of the basics up online.
She also admits to refusing to print certain stories. When she and her live-in partner argue over her moving to L.A. for her to direct a movie, "I've left out what might make you hate me." Really? So this is the GOOD version of your life story?
Then in the most eye-rolling moment, she admits that she finally gets pregnant (again) but doesn't realize it until she is five months along. Huh? This elitist NYC director making lots of money DOESN'T KNOW SHE IS PREGNANT after missing all of those periods? She admits we should scoff at her. "How could I, a well-educated woman with an MFA from NYU who had just helmed a $20 million motion picture, not realize I was pregnant until my fifth month?" That alone should make you skeptical of her--then she goes on and on about her pregnancy days and childbirth. Boring! A sure sign that she has little significant to talk about during the last 30 years of her life.
She waits until the final pages to reveal "an event I've avoided talking about because I worried it might color this story in an unwanted way." The author vaguely describes a rape in the water by a scuba instructor 45 years earlier, something "I blocked out this memory for many, many, many years." The point of the story appears to be that it gave her reason to reconnect with her original young lover that was on the diving vacation with her, who she didn't tell when the rape originally happened. But sadly it just makes her sound less forthcoming, a bit unsympathetic, and not the female-empowerment feminist she claims to be.
I admire her for early in the book admitting as a wild teen that "the only trouble I had in my life was the trouble I was creating for myself." At least she isn't the typical memoirist that in her rebellion blame-shifts scapegoats, but later in the text she certainly had no problem claiming that men (typically Hollywood executives) are the cause of most of her problems. So what is it, Susan? Did it ever occur to you that your disgruntled, self-centered attitude may have triggered negative reactions from the guys you worked for, supporting your original claim that you created the trouble for yourself? I'm desperately seeking some answers that are not all found here.
Seidelman thinks very highly of herself and propagates her warped view of the world--a Jewish material girl raised in Philly before she became a longtime New Yorker, she seems clueless about middle America, average citizens outside her culture, or anything beyond the coasts. At one point as a young adult when she flew off to Europe she admitted she had never been west of Pennsylvania!
Her very narrow perspective on everything she encounters makes for a book filled with stereotypes, judgmental statements, and inaccurate conclusions. Mix that with some interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits about her famous movies and you have about one-fourth to one-third of a book worth reading. There are many sections that could have been cut and I wish she would have left out the cold-hearted defense of her abortion, claiming she wanted the baby but it "wasn't the right time or the right partner" after a one-night stand just before Desperately Seeking Susan started filming. The male-bashing also gets really old, blaming guys for anything she perceives as mistreatment.
She divides her stories into almost 70 small chapters, from 2 to 8 pages. Her annoying chapter titles all refer to songs and artists. Why? I have no idea. It detracts from the autobiography. Sometimes the chapter titles have nothing to do with the content and are more interesting than what she writes.
The errors are difficult to overlook, though she excuses everything away by repeatedly saying she has a bad memory for details. Um, isn't a film director supposed to be good at juggling multiple details and concerned about minutia? She even says it herself on the pages: "God is in the details. Details may seem small and insignificant, but they can speak volumes about character." And on the next page, "If you're not good at multitasking, directing is not the right job for you." Maybe writing a memoir isn't then, either, Susan Seidelman.
Some of the fact checking readers will need to do includes: "It was 1967, before the advent of cable TV." Nope, cable started around 1950 and I personally had it growing up long before 1967. SHE may not have had cable, but this just proves her ignorance about the rest of the country, which she repeats again later in the book when she gets to Sex and the City claims that "It was now 1997, the early days of pay cable, and HBO was primarily known for broadcasting movies that had played in movie theaters." Look it up--HBO had been around for 25 years by that point and I counted 62 original TV series that had been on HBO by 1997. This woman doesn't know what she's talking about despite helming one of HBO's greatest all time hits.
Another: "Rona Gail had been a child actress" that the author says she befriended in high school, mentioned a few times in the book. It's too bad she didn't do a quick online search to find that the woman's name was Rona Gale (not Gail).
Seidelman tells Madonna to pattern her Susan character after movie "screwball comedies of the 1930s and 1940s (like) Judy Holliday in Born Yesterday." That movie was released in 1950. The author also moved into a NYC apartment that was owned by a "man that had been a child actor--one of the gang in an early TV series called The Little Rascals, later renamed Spanky and Our Gang." Of course if you know film history you are aware that the Our Gang name came first from the 20s to the 40s, it was not an original TV show but a movie series. Repeats were repackaged years later for both theaters and television under the name The Little Rascals.
Her know-it-all attitude forces one to point out the errors and makes you want to push back at her snarky obnoxiousness. For a writer so worried about "truth" and "telling women's stories," it's difficult to believe anything she has written when she admits serious memory issues and can't take a few minutes to look some of the basics up online.
She also admits to refusing to print certain stories. When she and her live-in partner argue over her moving to L.A. for her to direct a movie, "I've left out what might make you hate me." Really? So this is the GOOD version of your life story?
Then in the most eye-rolling moment, she admits that she finally gets pregnant (again) but doesn't realize it until she is five months along. Huh? This elitist NYC director making lots of money DOESN'T KNOW SHE IS PREGNANT after missing all of those periods? She admits we should scoff at her. "How could I, a well-educated woman with an MFA from NYU who had just helmed a $20 million motion picture, not realize I was pregnant until my fifth month?" That alone should make you skeptical of her--then she goes on and on about her pregnancy days and childbirth. Boring! A sure sign that she has little significant to talk about during the last 30 years of her life.
She waits until the final pages to reveal "an event I've avoided talking about because I worried it might color this story in an unwanted way." The author vaguely describes a rape in the water by a scuba instructor 45 years earlier, something "I blocked out this memory for many, many, many years." The point of the story appears to be that it gave her reason to reconnect with her original young lover that was on the diving vacation with her, who she didn't tell when the rape originally happened. But sadly it just makes her sound less forthcoming, a bit unsympathetic, and not the female-empowerment feminist she claims to be.
I admire her for early in the book admitting as a wild teen that "the only trouble I had in my life was the trouble I was creating for myself." At least she isn't the typical memoirist that in her rebellion blame-shifts scapegoats, but later in the text she certainly had no problem claiming that men (typically Hollywood executives) are the cause of most of her problems. So what is it, Susan? Did it ever occur to you that your disgruntled, self-centered attitude may have triggered negative reactions from the guys you worked for, supporting your original claim that you created the trouble for yourself? I'm desperately seeking some answers that are not all found here.
August 23, 2024
Now this was just joyous. Not only is this memoir from a woman who deserves many accolades, it is also full of wit, wisdom, empathy & keen observations about growing up in the tumultuous, changing years of the 70s to the 90s. It's as much a cultural observation about change in America (particularly NY and LA) as it is about the obstacles for a young woman deep inside the male-dominated world of film making. It's extraordinary and wonderful, but it never quite takes itself too seriously...and it managed to make me laugh out loud on more than one occasion. A splendid reading experience.
May 11, 2025
Engaging, funny, with reminiscences of the era of New York that she arrived in as a young woman that are endlessly entertaining and wonderful details about her inspiring career. One reads this book and feels by the end that Seidelman is a close, personal, delightful friend.
April 29, 2025
I liked this more than I thought I would, especially when Susan Seidelman focused on NYC of the 1970s and 1980s. I hope more people read this but I fear this may get lost on a "hidden gems" list, and appeal more to a select audience interested in film, punk, and nostalgia. Or, in my case, an interest in Madonna and her first film.
June 26, 2024
I knew absolutely nothing about Susan Seidelman prior to reading her memoir. To the best of my recollection, I've never seen any of her work except for the Sex and the City pilot. These are my favorite kinds of memoirs, because it doesn't matter if you end up liking the subject or not. You can just listen and be entertained. I enjoyed hearing Susan Seidelman's story very much. Jaime Lamchick did a lovely job narrating. I did not expect to learn so much about so many topics, either. I learned about everything from tools used for editing film to why SoHo is called SoHo.
This was a great memoir to read right after finishing Miss May Does Not Exist: The Life and Work of Elaine May, Hollywood’s Hidden Genius. Susan Seidelman actually references Elaine May at a couple of different times. I've never thought much about the glass ceiling in the entertainment industry. I can't help but wonder how differently Susan Seidelman's career would've turned out had she been Steven Seidelman. Would the executives have passed on She Drives Me Crazy? Would She Devil have been released the same weekend as The War of the Roses?
In sum, I found Desperately Seeking Something: A Memoir About Movies, Mothers, and Material Girls to be entertaining and enlightening. I would really like to go back and watch so many of these works, and I'm glad that, while she may never have been a 1% A-lister, Susan Seidelman has been allowed to have a long and steady career, respected by her peers, in the industry she loves. I'm so happy that she decided to share her story with the rest of us.
I would like to thank Macmillan Audio for allowing me to experience this NetGalley audiobook.
This was a great memoir to read right after finishing Miss May Does Not Exist: The Life and Work of Elaine May, Hollywood’s Hidden Genius. Susan Seidelman actually references Elaine May at a couple of different times. I've never thought much about the glass ceiling in the entertainment industry. I can't help but wonder how differently Susan Seidelman's career would've turned out had she been Steven Seidelman. Would the executives have passed on She Drives Me Crazy? Would She Devil have been released the same weekend as The War of the Roses?
In sum, I found Desperately Seeking Something: A Memoir About Movies, Mothers, and Material Girls to be entertaining and enlightening. I would really like to go back and watch so many of these works, and I'm glad that, while she may never have been a 1% A-lister, Susan Seidelman has been allowed to have a long and steady career, respected by her peers, in the industry she loves. I'm so happy that she decided to share her story with the rest of us.
I would like to thank Macmillan Audio for allowing me to experience this NetGalley audiobook.
February 12, 2024
I said this to my friend and he laughed at me, but reading the stories about her younger days made me feel like we were so similar. We are both short! Both got into films when we were older instead of as kids, the way iconic (male) directors like Spielberg. Both want to be in New York an in the indie scene. There's a part where she talks about how she used to search for women in the film industry to see that it was possible, and I do that all the time, always reading interviews and looking for books like this one.
Even though so many strides have been made for female directors, I feel like there aren't that many revered in the public consciousness (maybe because film is flopping), so we don't know their process or their story or the journey, with the exception of, like, Sofia Coppola or Greta Gerwig. It's always nice to hear the story of a relatively normal woman who was able to be so successful just because she tries to hard to. It makes it feel more possible!
Reading this feels like I finally got the chance to meet up with Susan Seidelman and ask her about her career and her thoughts on the film industry and what it was like to be a mom while directing! I just felt like I was soaking so much up and marking so many pages. I don't know! For a woman who wants to be in film, it felt so helpful.
The ending got a little sad, though. As her career progressed, it got harder and harder to make films, which I think happens to almost every female filmmaker. It sucks -- she came up in the same time as people like Scorsese or Spielberg, but she and other women like her aren't getting any of the same opportunities. Her reflection on how things have changed is also depressing -- the Soho she moved to 35 years ago doesn't exist, and neither does the city. And the film industry is completely different, too. All of these things feel like they've changed for the worst. It's a somber note to end on.
But I still want to recommend this to all the women I know who want to be in film.
Even though so many strides have been made for female directors, I feel like there aren't that many revered in the public consciousness (maybe because film is flopping), so we don't know their process or their story or the journey, with the exception of, like, Sofia Coppola or Greta Gerwig. It's always nice to hear the story of a relatively normal woman who was able to be so successful just because she tries to hard to. It makes it feel more possible!
Reading this feels like I finally got the chance to meet up with Susan Seidelman and ask her about her career and her thoughts on the film industry and what it was like to be a mom while directing! I just felt like I was soaking so much up and marking so many pages. I don't know! For a woman who wants to be in film, it felt so helpful.
The ending got a little sad, though. As her career progressed, it got harder and harder to make films, which I think happens to almost every female filmmaker. It sucks -- she came up in the same time as people like Scorsese or Spielberg, but she and other women like her aren't getting any of the same opportunities. Her reflection on how things have changed is also depressing -- the Soho she moved to 35 years ago doesn't exist, and neither does the city. And the film industry is completely different, too. All of these things feel like they've changed for the worst. It's a somber note to end on.
But I still want to recommend this to all the women I know who want to be in film.
August 3, 2024
Actually 3.5 stars. This is a fun read, with awesome photos and cool anecdotes. But I think it does not do all a memoir can, especially one by the woman who made Desperately Seeking Susan.
Seidelman illustrates my main issue with memoirs for generally satisfied, content (privileged) people. We don't have much to say. Our learning journeys have been fairly easy, and we were raised and equipped with the mental tools to handle problems. It is refreshing to see a female narrator with so much confidence, but her "I'll show them!" attitude comes from a place of safety that so many people have to fight to achieve. And the answer to the main question I always have when reading sucessful women's biographies -- what was their big break? -- is pretty privileged, too.
Seidelman was also privileged to be in NYC in the early 1980s, right after the federal government basically told the city to drop dead. That to me is the story I want to hear. I would have loved if this book focused on how art leads a society forward, especially since early 80s NYC is now an artistically iconic time. Example: my 30-year-old neighbor has a Keith Haring doormat. She was not around when his art hit the mainstream (for me, this was with the art for A Very Special Christmas in 1987). Also example: Vampire Weekend. There are many more.
I do recommend this book!! Do not worry about my semi-disappointment -- I grew up in the 80s so I am used to it.
Seidelman illustrates my main issue with memoirs for generally satisfied, content (privileged) people. We don't have much to say. Our learning journeys have been fairly easy, and we were raised and equipped with the mental tools to handle problems. It is refreshing to see a female narrator with so much confidence, but her "I'll show them!" attitude comes from a place of safety that so many people have to fight to achieve. And the answer to the main question I always have when reading sucessful women's biographies -- what was their big break? -- is pretty privileged, too.
Seidelman was also privileged to be in NYC in the early 1980s, right after the federal government basically told the city to drop dead. That to me is the story I want to hear. I would have loved if this book focused on how art leads a society forward, especially since early 80s NYC is now an artistically iconic time. Example: my 30-year-old neighbor has a Keith Haring doormat. She was not around when his art hit the mainstream (for me, this was with the art for A Very Special Christmas in 1987). Also example: Vampire Weekend. There are many more.
I do recommend this book!! Do not worry about my semi-disappointment -- I grew up in the 80s so I am used to it.
June 2, 2024
I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
VERY enjoyable! I've seen a third to half of the author's movies, and while reading this I had to watch a couple again. I even had to rent "Cookie" since our library didn't have it, and it's no where to stream. Well written, almost like listening to a friend.
Do yourself a favor, and read this!
VERY enjoyable! I've seen a third to half of the author's movies, and while reading this I had to watch a couple again. I even had to rent "Cookie" since our library didn't have it, and it's no where to stream. Well written, almost like listening to a friend.
Do yourself a favor, and read this!
July 13, 2024
Whenever I start reading a book, I remove the dust cover. With "Desperately Seeking Something," I was immediately enveloped with a warmth that radiates throughout the pages of this funny, honest, and insightful biography by film director Susan Seidelman.
To enhance the experience, I asked Alexa to play the music corresponding to each chapter title, starting with "Season of the Witch" by Donovan to "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell.
With the music playing softly in the background, I devoured the book, often pondering how optimism, whether from nature or nurture, is truly a gift.
As I read, I found many connections, especially when the book focused on Soho and the Lower East Side during the seventies and eighties. You don’t need to be a former NYC film student or industry member to enjoy this book, but if you were, certain chapters will transport you back to the empty, cobblestoned warehouse streets of Soho, cavernous artist lofts, the Carnegie Hall Cinema, and Bleecker Street Cinema where I saw countless films. The clubs, including the 21st Street Danceteria where I cleaned kitchen grease but also got to play in the video lounge, and stores like Love Saves The Day, which I frequently visited, especially after (or before) enjoying apple pancakes at Kiev or catching a movie at the St. Marks Cinema. The Brill Building, which I visited often while working at a 49th Street editing suite from 1984-88, also features prominently, and mutual friends throughout.
"Desperately Seeking Something" offers much more, particularly in illustrating Seidelman’s ability to succeed in a traditionally misogynistic industry while maintaining close bonds with family and friends.
The passage of time, filled with its ups and downs, is portrayed with an optimism that can only be described as glowing with the golden and amber hues of sunshine.
To enhance the experience, I asked Alexa to play the music corresponding to each chapter title, starting with "Season of the Witch" by Donovan to "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell.
With the music playing softly in the background, I devoured the book, often pondering how optimism, whether from nature or nurture, is truly a gift.
As I read, I found many connections, especially when the book focused on Soho and the Lower East Side during the seventies and eighties. You don’t need to be a former NYC film student or industry member to enjoy this book, but if you were, certain chapters will transport you back to the empty, cobblestoned warehouse streets of Soho, cavernous artist lofts, the Carnegie Hall Cinema, and Bleecker Street Cinema where I saw countless films. The clubs, including the 21st Street Danceteria where I cleaned kitchen grease but also got to play in the video lounge, and stores like Love Saves The Day, which I frequently visited, especially after (or before) enjoying apple pancakes at Kiev or catching a movie at the St. Marks Cinema. The Brill Building, which I visited often while working at a 49th Street editing suite from 1984-88, also features prominently, and mutual friends throughout.
"Desperately Seeking Something" offers much more, particularly in illustrating Seidelman’s ability to succeed in a traditionally misogynistic industry while maintaining close bonds with family and friends.
The passage of time, filled with its ups and downs, is portrayed with an optimism that can only be described as glowing with the golden and amber hues of sunshine.
August 11, 2024
Seidelman was (& remains) a key film (& television) director of the last half century. Although I don't typically care for celebrity memoirs that shamelessly namedrop, the tactic works here because she has worked with so many huge stars (who most definitely were not when she made the astute decisions to cast them early in their careers). She is more important than she has been given credit for.
This is her story.
This is her story.
May 15, 2025
Incredibly fascinating story. WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN FILM!!
March 23, 2025
Though there were aspects of this book I didn’t like (the chapters organized by songs (?) vs through movies, the “foreshadowing” that I find unnecessary in non-fiction, the overly conversational tone), I ended up enjoying this memoir! Seidelman’s personality really shines through in this book; she seems kind, thoughtful, and funny. This taught me a lot about the movie industry, and I’d recommend it to anyone interested in film in any capacity.
July 7, 2024
I could snark that this book should have been titled "Desperately Seeking Content: a Memoir About One Great Movie and a Bunch of Other Stuff," but I'm not that mean. Recommended only if your raison d'etre is building an exhaustive knowledge of female film directors.
July 20, 2024
It’s simply the best book I’ve ever read.
It deserves a 5 star rating because you can’t give 6 stars.
It deserves a 5 star rating because you can’t give 6 stars.
July 27, 2024
I loved this book! And I loved Susan and the fact that she gave all of us Susans born in the 40s and 50s a major shout-out in the beginning of the book. Since she is just 2 years older than me (almost to the day), there were so many things that I could related to. We had similar experiences throughout our childhoods and high school years. There were times when I laughed out loud because her way of writing is so good and so amusing. Now I am going to look for her first movie which I never saw for some strange reason!
July 3, 2024
I was immediately captivated by Susan Seidelman’s story telling. From her early relationship with her family, to the significance of making Smithereens and her trials and tribulations of being a female director in an highly competitive male dominated profession.I enjoyed following Sue’s life’s journey with the ups and downs of a creator and as a Mom, daughter and a lover.
Sue Seidelman takes you with her on her wild ride of life!
Sue Seidelman takes you with her on her wild ride of life!
June 25, 2024
Autobiography of film director Susan Seidleman, best known for directing the Madonna and Rosanna Arquette movie Desperately Seeking Susan. I love that movie, and this was a really enjoyable audio book to listen to. Susan grew up Jewish in the 1950's and 1960's in Suburban Philadelphia, encouraged by supportive parents, and went on to film school and got her degree and moved to New York City. She managed success in the film world which was mostly dominated by men. Her tales of directing films and living in New York City, sometimes in LA and traveling in Europe are delightful. She is a feminist, an optimistic person with an "I'll show you" attitude and has led an interesting and entertaining life. I wish her the best and I will have to go back and watch some of her movies that I have not seen, or not seen in years. Highly Recommended.
June 22, 2024
Desperately Seeking Susan is one of my go-to films when I am in a mood and need to feel something else. I picked this up thinking I'd hear some interesting stories about the film, its making, and its stars. It certainly delivers on that.
But, that wasn't my favorite thing about the book. Learning about Seidelman and her drive, how she helped change the shape of Hollywood making way for female directors of all kinds, and listening to stories of her tenacity was a delight.
I enjoyed the book and think film lovers can all find something to love in Seidelman's work.
But, that wasn't my favorite thing about the book. Learning about Seidelman and her drive, how she helped change the shape of Hollywood making way for female directors of all kinds, and listening to stories of her tenacity was a delight.
I enjoyed the book and think film lovers can all find something to love in Seidelman's work.
June 9, 2024
Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the digital eBook and audiobook. I was pleased to be able to read along as I listened to the audiobook.
Why isn’t Susan Seidelman a household name like other big-name directors? Probably, in part, because she’s a woman. This memoir, which has song titles as the chapter headings, is not just for film buffs. It’s really about a female growing up in American during a certain time period and the abject misogyny she faced, and still faces today in the boys’ club of film directing. The childhood stories were great and kept me engaged as I hoped to hear more about her professional life.
What I loved about this book is that while Seidelman talks about her projects, she never trashes anyone she’s worked with. This is not a tell-all about various big-name personalities. It’s about HER experiences, and she’s got a sense of humor about all the crap she’s gone through.
Even though I am of an age to be the target audience, I have not seen Desperately Seeking Susan, starring Rosanna Arquette and Madonna, but my friends loved the film. Now, I think I’ll find it on some streaming service or borrow it from the library.
Highly recommended for film buffs!
Why isn’t Susan Seidelman a household name like other big-name directors? Probably, in part, because she’s a woman. This memoir, which has song titles as the chapter headings, is not just for film buffs. It’s really about a female growing up in American during a certain time period and the abject misogyny she faced, and still faces today in the boys’ club of film directing. The childhood stories were great and kept me engaged as I hoped to hear more about her professional life.
What I loved about this book is that while Seidelman talks about her projects, she never trashes anyone she’s worked with. This is not a tell-all about various big-name personalities. It’s about HER experiences, and she’s got a sense of humor about all the crap she’s gone through.
Even though I am of an age to be the target audience, I have not seen Desperately Seeking Susan, starring Rosanna Arquette and Madonna, but my friends loved the film. Now, I think I’ll find it on some streaming service or borrow it from the library.
Highly recommended for film buffs!
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