United States Publication: May 7, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for this advanced reader's copy. In exchange, I am providing an honest review.
The views and expectations of women and motherhood have been shaped by many things, one of which is literature. Throughout literature women and mothers have been discussed; bad ones, good ones, mediocre ones. What to do, what not to do, what to look like, what not to look like, etc. I say "etc" because the list of ideas, demands, and expectations is endless. Our unique cultures inform motherhood but literature crosses oceans and highways and introduces ideas of one culture into another because literature is, as author Stephen King is charged with saying, "....a uniquely portable magic." Because of this magic, one cultural view on motherhood can infiltrate another, and suddenly a mish-mash of views, expectations, and opinions are present for women to sift through and decide how they will, if they will, subscribe.
Upon becoming a mother and entering the proverbial rat race of motherhood, Mullins became interested in how literature, specifically, has contributed to our ideas about mothering and how, perhaps, we can use those same books to reshape the current views on motherhood. She chose 15 books that she felt had opinions and views on mothering that she could explore and share widely. Some of the titles are well-known, others not so much (at least to this reader). It's almost the perfect list to form a book club around, one that once exhausting Mullins list could continue on with the countless other books from past into present that exist and serve up opinions on women and motherhood.
Mullins, in each chapter, focuses on a specific idea about motherhood and takes the opportunity to trace the history of that idea and how it appears in the present, giving some background on the author and what they were being influenced by at the time they authored the book, and discussing how it can look in today's world. She gives no solid answers, she presents the information as she sees it and leaves it up to the reader to consider for themselves. That's a piece of motherhood that has gotten lost - someone says, "This is THE way to do it, and any other way is wrong," and so those who cannot do it that way feel less than. The truth is there are many ways to accomplish something, as humans have varying needs and ways they take in information. Those who are trying to force everyone into a box have got it wrong, so why - WHY - have we given them so much real estate in our minds, in our lives? Why are we, for example, taking in anything a man has to say about being a woman and/or mother?
While this is a book about mothers and motherhood in literature, I felt there were many things to consider as a woman, regardless of whether she is a mother or not. Yes, mothering is a main focus, but before mothers were mothers, they were, and still are, women and some of these insights are universal to women. Perhaps all of them are universal as women are expected, whether they have children in their care or not, to be mothers. I really enjoyed this book; I feel there are a lot of good insights and things to consider. As a mom, who now has young adult children, I found myself wishing - while reading this - that I had understood some of the messages I was operating within when raising my littles so I could have done things differently. But you only know what you know, and when you know better, then you can do better. Are you a woman? A woman who is a mom? I highly recommend giving this book some space and the insights within it some consideration so that you know more and can do better.