How (Not) to Have an Arranged Marriage

by Dr Amir Khan

He’s the perfect catch (according to his mother).

Yousef is the golden child to his strict Pakistani parents, overshadowing his younger sister, Rehana. As he finishes his medical degree in London, Yousef’s life appears to be mapped out for become a doctor, marry a suitable girl of his parents’ choosing and, above all, make his family proud. Then Yousef meets Jess.

A fellow medical student, Jess presents a complication to the plan. Suddenly, Yousef finds himself torn between two worlds – keeping each a secret from the other.

Then, as graduation day looms, Yousef’s mother informs him that she’s started looking for his wife . . .

How (Not) To Have an Arranged Marriage is a timely, heartfelt novel which looks at all aspects of modern arranged marriages.

Praise for How (Not) to Have an Arranged

'Heartwarming, hilarious and incredibly insightful. Writing with poignant honesty about the messy nature of life, Dr. Amir Khan is definitely an author I’ll be looking out for in the future.' - J F Murray, author of Fling

Genres: Audiobook

480 pages, Hardcover

Published June 4, 2024

Reviews

[Stephen · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was an easy going read was quite enjoyable and funny in parts, was different to thought it would be originally

[Paperback Mo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened in audio.
Absolutely LOVED this banger.
Rehana is repping ALL the aunties and she's my favourite character. Diva energy.
The ending was kinda unimaginable (for me) but can appreciate why the author may have chose this route.
5 stars!

[Lorna Mole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable read. Nice short chapters and each chapter centred on one character at a time.
I felt really invested in each character and it was nice to be able to follow their own stories.
I learned a lot about different cultures which I love.
I won’t spoil it but I liked the ending also.

[MetLineReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book with minimal expectations… and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Great characters - though a little selfish at times - that portray the difficulties faced in South Asian communities when modern British ways clash with cultural norms such as arranged marriages.

This book really opened my eyes to the cultural traditions in the Hindu and Muslim communities. Although I have friends in both communities, I hadn’t appreciated the detailed thinking or social norms that govern how the young people behave when matched.

I loved the descriptions of the events and the relationships between the main characters… but I wanted more. More description of locations, physical appearance and the vibrancy of the events. That said I still loved the book, but just wanted a little more colour.

Can’t stop thinking about the different characters and how the arranged marriages helped them in one way or another. No spoilers but sometimes you need a little help… and sometimes you don’t!!
5* a thumbs up from me.

[Suzanne Thomson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read.

[Lindsey Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a brilliant debut novel! How (Not) To Have An Arranged Marriage centers on Yousef who has met the love of his life, Jess, but is expected to marry a Pakistani girl. This book is a fascinating glimpse into modern arranged marriages told from several different perspectives. I found some of the characters frustrating in places and it was quite a predictable read but I couldn't put it down. It's an amusing and easy book that opened my eyes to a tradition that I didn't know much about. 9/10 rounded up

[Hasina Begum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to admit, I’m not really into love romance novels but the synopsis and title had me interested and I was so happy to be able to read and review Amir Khan’s first novel.

The storyline follows a Muslim Pakistani doctor called Yousef who falls in love with a non Muslim Pakistani girl and his trials and tribulations of telling his very traditional Pakistani mother. Will he be brave enough to tell her and marry the girl of his dreams or will he continue to make his mothers dreams come true?

The story also follows Rehana, his younger sister and her journey on being second best in the family because she is the girl. As a Bangladeshi Muslim girl myself with an older brother, I could relate to Rehena in so many ways and I was constantly routing for her to find her happily ever after. It is amazing to see how similar the Pakistani and Bangladeshi cultures are and the mindset of the older generation.

Rohit, Yousef’s Hindu best friend from uni also tries to find love and comes to the conclusion that he will never be able to experience love and marriage after many failed attempts of speeding dating, online dating etc- can an arranged marriage help him or will he forever be the guy attending everyone else’s weddings.

The characters all worked so well throughout the book and I loved how Amir captured each character’s individual personality. A laugh out loud read!

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been looking forward to this for ages. Even before I really knew what it was going to be. I loved Dr Amir’s memoir and when he said he was writing again I knew I would want to read it!

This book was fabulous. The writing was incredible and the story or should I say stories were exceptional. This book was so many peoples story. I am absolutely exhausted and I only read it. I can’t imagine living life with these kind of expectations. This book made me cry and it made me laugh. It taught me things. It made me be thankful for what I have and appreciate some things I’ve previously taken for granted.

This book has chapters from so many different perspectives but it didn’t once feel confusing and only enhanced the story. There are some absolutely stunning descriptions of ceremonies in this book. I felt as though I got to attend them without worrying about what to wear or how to appropriately conduct myself.

There are so many characters in this book and they all experienced so much growth. They learnt so much about themselves and each other. What a journey this book was. Events happened I expected, while others didn’t. And so many beautiful things happened I couldn’t possibly have thought of. I loved every moment of this wonderful book.

[faaizahsclubofbooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yousef is an ideal child in the eyes of his strict Pakistani parents, outshadowing his sister Rehana. His mother has already mapped out his life after he completes his medical degree at university; she will find him a suitable girl and make his family proud. But then he meets Jess, a fellow medical student. As graduation approaches, he finds himself torn between two worlds, struggling to balance a new career, family expectations, and an everlasting love that his family will never approve. Will Yousef finally have his happily ever after?

This book must be adapted into a film because it was light-hearted, funny, witty, and heartfelt. This book is based on a typical Asian family and reminded me of the movie East is East and the Citizen Khan series--and it lived up to that expectation with its pestering parents, secrets, banter, friendship, relationships, love, honesty, and banter. The storyline was gripping thanks to the beautiful writing style, and it was definitely addictive--I couldn't put the book down, which I loved. It's likely that if I say too much, I'll ruin the story. I highly recommend that you read this book; you will not be disappointed.

[Sally Cowling · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! The reader gets a glimpse into the life of many Asian families in the UK, where parents try to hold on to traditional values and preserve their culture but their children are unsure whether it still relates to them.

The storyline centres around the pros and cons of arranged marriages and considers whether love before marriage is important.

We meet Yousef, who falls in love with Jessica at University, but knows his parents won't approve. His mum is very proud of him and his Medicine studies and pushes him to become a surgeon and settle down with a nice Muslim girl, but are her intentions really for his own benefit?  His sister Rehana has also done well at uni with a 1st in English, but always seems to be second best to her brother. If only she could find someone to marry, she might finally have her parents'attention.

A fab book written by tv's Amir Khan. I look forward to reading more from him!

[Clare Brack · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the 1st book written by Dr Amir but that was a total different read I really enjoyed this meeting the characters and exploring different cultures. Telling the story of Yousef and his sister Rehana who are both treated so differently by their mum Feroza. Showing their lives and choices they make for their own happiness as well as trying to please their parents. A well written book and was lovely seeing Bradford getting a mention!

[Romayne Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a big fan of Dr Amir’s and enjoyed his autobiographical first book. This book is written by someone with a first hand experience of relationships in Asian culture. It is humorous and the characters are endearing. The chapters focus on a different character’s perspective contributing to it being a fast paced , easy read.

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is dire. I wish there was the option of giving zero stars because that's the rating I'd have given. The writing is just so clumsy. I often write stories myself but never think that my writing is good enough to ever get anything published. Well, my writing is much more alive and interesting than Amir Khan's, goodness knows how this got published.

[Tami · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book as it was easy to be invested in each character. Short chapters that focused on each one. I like learning about other cultures and this was a nice intro to understanding arranged marriage without giving it a fully negative review (which was what I was expecting!). I’ve read his other book and it was easy to read too. Will keep an eye out for future books by him!

[Amy Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel was so interesting as it gives a perspective into modern day arranged marriages. I’ve never read a book like this before and I absolutely loved this love story! It was heart warming, emotional at times and had me laughing out loud! Really enjoyed the audible version with Dr Amir Khan 💚🩷

[Katy S · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed (a majority of) this book and felt the characters and their individual stories were flushed out. However, I grew to despise Yousef due to his pattern of self-victimization, periods of woe, and entitlement.

[DianaAitch · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a lovely story! Quite romantic.. and I learnt a lot about Pakistani culture.

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read, great to read about other cultures.

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

[Antonella Gramola-Sands · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really great book. Enjoyable and educational. Interesting clash of cultures.
Wonderful characters. Humorous and engaging. Read it very quickly.

[Lisa Gisèle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a complimentary copy of this book via Netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are my own opinions.

I picked How (Not) to have an Arranged Marriage due to my urge to learn about different cultures through fiction stories. I was in love with this story by the beginning of the third chapter. Having every chapter of this novel from the viewpoint of a different character was a brilliant idea. Great book, highly recommend

[Sherin Nagib · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice ✌️

[Vicky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book, though it probably could have been a little shorter.

[Mary T Weston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This opened my eyes to what life is like when your family are from one culture and set of values, and you are born and raised in a completely different one.

[Sabina Belim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the book, summarises south Asian culture to the T, absolutely hilarious in parts !!

[MMP · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mid….very predictable…not that much character development/ growth from the main character until very end

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading Dr Amir Khans first book, I was looking forward to reading this. I didn't realise it was fiction though, although I enjoyed it. The characters were great. A very good read.

[Sophia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Predictable, relatable, easy read.

[Karen Reynolds · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy read. Story flowed. Not too much thinking required. Now for a heavier book.

[Sabina Begum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the book and read it so quickly. it was so relateable, I'm Bengali but could still relate! Loved everything about this book! You are very talented, Dr Amir Khan!

[Louise Galluzzo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this, light hearted despite being an emotive (and controversial) subject.

I didn’t know a lot about arranged marriages other than those with negative outcomes in the press, so this opened my eyes to the process. I’m sure this isn’t the only way they’re done, but I could see that some (the majority I hope), actually come about after a lot of thought and effort from the whole family and community

It is heartbreaking to know the pressure put on those expected to have an arranged marriage when they’ve already met someone they love but the family don’t approve of and relationships are hidden, or the fear the family won’t be happy about it so it’s hidden even when these worries are unfounded, that the parents just want their offspring to be happy.

Well worth a read, or listen, I listened to the audiobook which was read by the author and I found his voice very clear and calming, so much so that I then listened to Dr Khan’s other book about his experiences as a GP.