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When We Are Seen: How to Come Into Your Power--and Empower Others Along the Way
From one of the first and few women of color to reach the c-suite in Silicon Valley, Apple’s former chief of HR, co-creator of the Apple Store culture, and first VP of inclusion and diversity, comes a heartfelt story of growing up Black and female in a world with little regard for either and a practical road map for embodying the best in yourself and emboldening others along the way.
For her work as a co-creator of the Apple Store cultural experience, Denise Young has been deemed by leadership experts as one of the most emotionally intelligent leaders of her era. In this stirring narrative, part-memoir, part blueprint for action, she shares her vision of what it means to be truly seen at our places of work. As a “first and only” woman of color in boardrooms and leading roles across the Bay Area’s booming tech industry, Denise was a trailblazer in a business that was never built for her. The first black and female senior executive under both Steve Jobs and Tim Cook, Denise was often in “the room where it happened.” But within a white male-centric professional culture, she still had to work harder, smarter, and differently to get heard.
She speaks candidly to that experience in these pages, offering lessons to those coming up behind her. In When We Are Seen, Denise shares insights on using your own story, empathy, intuition, and more to unlock the potential in yourself and others. Her story serves as both solace and strategy for anyone who has ever felt left out, unseen, ostracized; anyone who has been an only or a first. This is a book for anyone interested in upending perpetual cycles of exclusion, and in reclaiming our individual agency in the ongoing quest to thrive and belong.
Denise argues that bringing your truest self to work—from wearing your beloved locs to sharing your artistic passion—and, in turn, holistically seeing the attributes others have to offer is not a passive experience; it is a specific skill we can and should build. And the result is a deeper understanding of what it means to be inclusive, and powerfully human on the job.
For her work as a co-creator of the Apple Store cultural experience, Denise Young has been deemed by leadership experts as one of the most emotionally intelligent leaders of her era. In this stirring narrative, part-memoir, part blueprint for action, she shares her vision of what it means to be truly seen at our places of work. As a “first and only” woman of color in boardrooms and leading roles across the Bay Area’s booming tech industry, Denise was a trailblazer in a business that was never built for her. The first black and female senior executive under both Steve Jobs and Tim Cook, Denise was often in “the room where it happened.” But within a white male-centric professional culture, she still had to work harder, smarter, and differently to get heard.
She speaks candidly to that experience in these pages, offering lessons to those coming up behind her. In When We Are Seen, Denise shares insights on using your own story, empathy, intuition, and more to unlock the potential in yourself and others. Her story serves as both solace and strategy for anyone who has ever felt left out, unseen, ostracized; anyone who has been an only or a first. This is a book for anyone interested in upending perpetual cycles of exclusion, and in reclaiming our individual agency in the ongoing quest to thrive and belong.
Denise argues that bringing your truest self to work—from wearing your beloved locs to sharing your artistic passion—and, in turn, holistically seeing the attributes others have to offer is not a passive experience; it is a specific skill we can and should build. And the result is a deeper understanding of what it means to be inclusive, and powerfully human on the job.
279 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 21, 2024
12 people are currently reading
2762 people want to read
About the author
Denise Young
10 books17 followersAfter more than a two-decade career at Apple in a series of executive roles, including the company’s first Black chief of human resources and first VP of inclusion and diversity, Denise Young then served for three years as executive-in-residence at Cornell Tech in New York City. Denise has been named a “Most Powerful Woman” by Black Enterprise, an Ebony “Power 100,” and one of the “100 Most Influential in Silicon Valley” by Business Insider, and she has been featured in Fortune’s “Most Powerful Women” issue. She currently advises organizations on culture, leadership, and inclusive environments. A practicing performing and recording artist, Denise is an advocate for artists, for living a creative life, and for the unleashing of all that can happen when we see and are seen.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
August 31, 2024
In “When We Are Seen”, Denise Young delivers a breath of fresh air, breaking free from the monotonous “just show up” mantra with a rich discussion on the power of visibility. With her eclectic background—growing up in Colorado, thriving at an HBCU in the Deep South, and making a splash at Apple—Young provides a candid and insightful take on leadership. She skillfully illustrates how her own experiences of being recognized and having a voice at the table have enriched both executive teams and employees.
If you're weary of the same old leadership platitudes, Young’s book is a much-needed change. She makes a compelling case that true visibility is all about being genuinely valued for your unique contributions and identity, not just blending into the background. Know your worth and make it count!
“When We Are Seen” is a thoughtful and empowering exploration of why real representation and staying true to yourself are crucial for impactful leadership.
A huge thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the authors for the opportunity to read this advance copy.
If you're weary of the same old leadership platitudes, Young’s book is a much-needed change. She makes a compelling case that true visibility is all about being genuinely valued for your unique contributions and identity, not just blending into the background. Know your worth and make it count!
“When We Are Seen” is a thoughtful and empowering exploration of why real representation and staying true to yourself are crucial for impactful leadership.
A huge thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the authors for the opportunity to read this advance copy.
August 26, 2024
In "When We Are Seen: How to Come Into Your Power – and Empower Others Along the Way," Denise Young delves into her personal and professional journey toward visibility, and in doing so, she sheds light on the deeper implications of representation and recognition. In 2006, Young stood on a glass staircase at the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue, a senior executive at the time, greeting celebrities on opening night. But it was a brief interaction with comedian Dave Chappelle that left a lasting impact. His acknowledgment of her challenges as a Black woman in executive leadership made her feel truly seen for the first time. This moment sparked a deep reflection on the power of visibility and the nuances of what it means to be genuinely recognized for who you are, rather than merely being present.
The concept of visibility, as explored by Young, is not just about physical presence but about being acknowledged and valued for your contributions and experiences. Despite her significant contributions to Apple's global expansion and culture, Young was only recognized as the first Black female C-level executive at Apple years later, highlighting the delay in recognizing minority achievements. For many, visibility comes too late, if at all, reinforcing systemic inequalities and perpetuating a cycle where talented individuals often feel overlooked.
The book emphasizes the transformative power of visibility when achieved authentically. Being seen for who you truly are can challenge societal norms and open doors for others. When Young was recognized by Chappelle, it wasn’t just her title that mattered; it was the acknowledgment of her unique journey and the challenges she faced. This is the essence of visibility: being seen in your fullness, having your story understood, and your contributions recognized in their entirety.
Young’s narrative also explores the subtle ways in which erasure of minorities occurs in society. It’s in the stories not told and the accomplishments overlooked, contributing to a narrative where minorities must work harder for less recognition. However, when visibility is achieved, it can be transformative, as evidenced by Young’s experiences. By being truly seen, individuals can inspire others and challenge societal expectations, ultimately contributing to a more inclusive world.
In recounting her middle school choir experience, Young touches on the power of authentic expression. She recalls a choir director who guided her away from shouting to be heard and helped her discover her true voice. This moment serves as a metaphor for life: sometimes, standing out isn’t about being louder or working harder; it’s about finding your authentic voice and letting it resonate naturally. This insight encourages readers to reflect on times when they’ve felt the need to overcompensate to be heard and the value of embracing their true selves instead.
Young's journey also highlights the role of personal bias in self-erasure. During a brief hiatus from Apple, she joined a startup where she found herself retreating in the presence of a new CEO, whose reputation had preceded him. Despite her accomplishments, Young became subdued, letting her assumptions about the CEO influence her behavior. This self-erasure, driven by her own biases, demonstrates how we can sometimes contribute to our invisibility. By projecting her fears and assumptions, Young inadvertently limited her own potential, a lesson that encourages readers to recognize and challenge their biases for personal growth and connection.
The importance of bringing your whole self to your work is a recurring theme in Young’s story. One memorable moment occurred during a live broadcast of an Apple product launch when Young, recognizing the cultural significance of a gospel song used in the commercial, danced with excitement. Her colleagues, however, did not share her enthusiasm. This experience underscores the value of diverse perspectives in decision-making roles. Young recognized the potential of the ad to connect with an underrepresented community, illustrating how representation in leadership can drive innovation and expand a company's reach. Her willingness to share her insights with Apple’s leadership led to new opportunities, reinforcing the idea that true representation isn’t just about being present; it’s about contributing your unique perspective to influence outcomes.
In another significant moment, Young met Barry, a classical voice coach, at an Apple Store. This chance encounter reignited her passion for music and reminded her of the importance of bringing her whole self to the table. Young’s decision to pursue her musical interests alongside her corporate career challenges the notion that we must choose between our passions and professions. By integrating different aspects of her identity, she found deeper fulfillment and contributed more meaningfully to her work.
Young’s story serves as a powerful reminder that representation is not just about filling quotas or achieving visible diversity. It’s about creating a culture where everyone feels empowered to bring their full selves to the table, integrating their unique experiences and perspectives into their work. For allies and leaders, this means fostering environments where diverse voices are not only heard but valued and encouraged.
In conclusion, "When We Are Seen" is a compelling exploration of the power of visibility, authenticity, and representation. Young’s journey highlights the importance of being seen and valued for your entire story, rather than just the parts that fit a convenient narrative. Her insights encourage readers to embrace their authentic voices, recognize and challenge their biases, and bring their whole selves to their work and personal lives. Ultimately, the book advocates for a future of representation that goes beyond visible diversity to create truly inclusive environments where everyone can thrive.
The concept of visibility, as explored by Young, is not just about physical presence but about being acknowledged and valued for your contributions and experiences. Despite her significant contributions to Apple's global expansion and culture, Young was only recognized as the first Black female C-level executive at Apple years later, highlighting the delay in recognizing minority achievements. For many, visibility comes too late, if at all, reinforcing systemic inequalities and perpetuating a cycle where talented individuals often feel overlooked.
The book emphasizes the transformative power of visibility when achieved authentically. Being seen for who you truly are can challenge societal norms and open doors for others. When Young was recognized by Chappelle, it wasn’t just her title that mattered; it was the acknowledgment of her unique journey and the challenges she faced. This is the essence of visibility: being seen in your fullness, having your story understood, and your contributions recognized in their entirety.
Young’s narrative also explores the subtle ways in which erasure of minorities occurs in society. It’s in the stories not told and the accomplishments overlooked, contributing to a narrative where minorities must work harder for less recognition. However, when visibility is achieved, it can be transformative, as evidenced by Young’s experiences. By being truly seen, individuals can inspire others and challenge societal expectations, ultimately contributing to a more inclusive world.
In recounting her middle school choir experience, Young touches on the power of authentic expression. She recalls a choir director who guided her away from shouting to be heard and helped her discover her true voice. This moment serves as a metaphor for life: sometimes, standing out isn’t about being louder or working harder; it’s about finding your authentic voice and letting it resonate naturally. This insight encourages readers to reflect on times when they’ve felt the need to overcompensate to be heard and the value of embracing their true selves instead.
Young's journey also highlights the role of personal bias in self-erasure. During a brief hiatus from Apple, she joined a startup where she found herself retreating in the presence of a new CEO, whose reputation had preceded him. Despite her accomplishments, Young became subdued, letting her assumptions about the CEO influence her behavior. This self-erasure, driven by her own biases, demonstrates how we can sometimes contribute to our invisibility. By projecting her fears and assumptions, Young inadvertently limited her own potential, a lesson that encourages readers to recognize and challenge their biases for personal growth and connection.
The importance of bringing your whole self to your work is a recurring theme in Young’s story. One memorable moment occurred during a live broadcast of an Apple product launch when Young, recognizing the cultural significance of a gospel song used in the commercial, danced with excitement. Her colleagues, however, did not share her enthusiasm. This experience underscores the value of diverse perspectives in decision-making roles. Young recognized the potential of the ad to connect with an underrepresented community, illustrating how representation in leadership can drive innovation and expand a company's reach. Her willingness to share her insights with Apple’s leadership led to new opportunities, reinforcing the idea that true representation isn’t just about being present; it’s about contributing your unique perspective to influence outcomes.
In another significant moment, Young met Barry, a classical voice coach, at an Apple Store. This chance encounter reignited her passion for music and reminded her of the importance of bringing her whole self to the table. Young’s decision to pursue her musical interests alongside her corporate career challenges the notion that we must choose between our passions and professions. By integrating different aspects of her identity, she found deeper fulfillment and contributed more meaningfully to her work.
Young’s story serves as a powerful reminder that representation is not just about filling quotas or achieving visible diversity. It’s about creating a culture where everyone feels empowered to bring their full selves to the table, integrating their unique experiences and perspectives into their work. For allies and leaders, this means fostering environments where diverse voices are not only heard but valued and encouraged.
In conclusion, "When We Are Seen" is a compelling exploration of the power of visibility, authenticity, and representation. Young’s journey highlights the importance of being seen and valued for your entire story, rather than just the parts that fit a convenient narrative. Her insights encourage readers to embrace their authentic voices, recognize and challenge their biases, and bring their whole selves to their work and personal lives. Ultimately, the book advocates for a future of representation that goes beyond visible diversity to create truly inclusive environments where everyone can thrive.
November 23, 2024
I listened to the author read her own work, and I could listen to Denise Young talk to me every day.
No matter how many books I read, or keynote addresses I hear, or through the lived experience of my Black women colleagues - will I ever truly know what it means to be them in this country at this moment. So I will continue to listen, learn, and understand.
There were so many surprises and "Aha" moments in this book. There are many relatable things I have in common with Denise Young and so many I do not. People do not comment on my hair.
I highly recommend this book. It will put you outside your comfort zone and for many of us that is the whole point of reading. I understood the "belonging gap" before I heard her give it a name. Her observations about internship programs and two-way learning are things I have believed for such a long time. She tells the stories that support the theories.
I highly recommend this book. We don't know what we don't know and we won't solve that conundrum without stretching ourselves. We have to live our values and we need our values to be reality based and widely inclusive. This book is worth your time.
No matter how many books I read, or keynote addresses I hear, or through the lived experience of my Black women colleagues - will I ever truly know what it means to be them in this country at this moment. So I will continue to listen, learn, and understand.
There were so many surprises and "Aha" moments in this book. There are many relatable things I have in common with Denise Young and so many I do not. People do not comment on my hair.
I highly recommend this book. It will put you outside your comfort zone and for many of us that is the whole point of reading. I understood the "belonging gap" before I heard her give it a name. Her observations about internship programs and two-way learning are things I have believed for such a long time. She tells the stories that support the theories.
I highly recommend this book. We don't know what we don't know and we won't solve that conundrum without stretching ourselves. We have to live our values and we need our values to be reality based and widely inclusive. This book is worth your time.
August 26, 2024
Summary:
True visibility isn't just about being present; it's about being fully seen, understood, and valued for your entire journey and contributions. Your authentic voice, when used confidently, resonates more powerfully than any forced attempt to stand out or be heard.
Personal biases can lead to self-erasure, and recognizing and challenging these biases is crucial for genuine connection and growth. On top of this, bringing your whole self to your work and life — including your diverse experiences, passions, and perspectives — enriches not only your own journey but also creates more inclusive and innovative environments for everyone. The future of representation lies not in merely filling quotas, but in creating cultures where everyone feels empowered to contribute their unique voice and experiences.
True visibility isn't just about being present; it's about being fully seen, understood, and valued for your entire journey and contributions. Your authentic voice, when used confidently, resonates more powerfully than any forced attempt to stand out or be heard.
Personal biases can lead to self-erasure, and recognizing and challenging these biases is crucial for genuine connection and growth. On top of this, bringing your whole self to your work and life — including your diverse experiences, passions, and perspectives — enriches not only your own journey but also creates more inclusive and innovative environments for everyone. The future of representation lies not in merely filling quotas, but in creating cultures where everyone feels empowered to contribute their unique voice and experiences.
Currently reading
August 26, 2024TBA BT stuff? 4/5?
Young's journey from that glass staircase to a broader understanding of erasure and inclusion offers insights that challenge how we see ourselves and others in society. Her story invites us to look closer, think deeper, and act boldly to create a world where everyone is truly seen.
Visibility isn't just about being present. It's about being truly seen, acknowledged, and valued for your full contributions. For many minorities in contemporary society, this recognition often comes too late, if at all.
Notes:
- how important it is to acknowledge the unique challenges others must face to help others feel and be seen
- Imagine working tirelessly for nearly two decades leading global teams and revolutionizing how people interact with technology. Then, after all that time and effort, you're suddenly hailed as a “new voice”. This was Denise Young's experience when Fortune magazine featured her in 2014.
- The power of visibility lies in its ability to inspire, validate, and create change. When you see someone who looks like you in a position of influence, it expands your sense of what's possible. It challenges societal norms and breaks down barriers.
- The erasure of minorities in society often happens subtly. It's in the stories not told, the achievements overlooked, and the experiences dismissed as unimportant. It's in being labeled "new" when you've been present and contributing all along.
- This erasure has real consequences. It perpetuates stereotypes, limits opportunities, and reinforces systemic inequalities. It tells talented individuals that their contributions don't matter, or that they must work twice as hard for half the recognition. On the other hand, when visibility really is achieved, it can be transformative.
- It's about having your entire story recognized, not just the parts that fit a convenient narrative.
What hurt:
Back when Young was in middle school, she sang in a choir. She was giving it her all, but one day a new choir director pulled her aside and told her that she was shouting over everyone else, trying to be heard. At first, his words stung, bringing tears to her eyes. But what followed was a moment of profound recognition and guidance that would shape her life. You might recognize times when you've tried to make yourself heard by speaking louder, working harder, or pushing beyond your natural abilities. Like Young in the choir, you might think this is the only way to stand out or be recognized. But often, this approach can drown out your true voice. Sometimes, the key to being heard isn't about shouting louder, but about finding the right key.
- Consider times when you've made similar assumptions about others. Have you ever held back or changed your behavior based on what you thought someone might think, rather than their actual actions?
- The future of representation lies in bringing your whole self to the table, integrating different aspects of your identity and experiences.
Young's journey from that glass staircase to a broader understanding of erasure and inclusion offers insights that challenge how we see ourselves and others in society. Her story invites us to look closer, think deeper, and act boldly to create a world where everyone is truly seen.
Visibility isn't just about being present. It's about being truly seen, acknowledged, and valued for your full contributions. For many minorities in contemporary society, this recognition often comes too late, if at all.
Notes:
- how important it is to acknowledge the unique challenges others must face to help others feel and be seen
- Imagine working tirelessly for nearly two decades leading global teams and revolutionizing how people interact with technology. Then, after all that time and effort, you're suddenly hailed as a “new voice”. This was Denise Young's experience when Fortune magazine featured her in 2014.
- The power of visibility lies in its ability to inspire, validate, and create change. When you see someone who looks like you in a position of influence, it expands your sense of what's possible. It challenges societal norms and breaks down barriers.
- The erasure of minorities in society often happens subtly. It's in the stories not told, the achievements overlooked, and the experiences dismissed as unimportant. It's in being labeled "new" when you've been present and contributing all along.
- This erasure has real consequences. It perpetuates stereotypes, limits opportunities, and reinforces systemic inequalities. It tells talented individuals that their contributions don't matter, or that they must work twice as hard for half the recognition. On the other hand, when visibility really is achieved, it can be transformative.
- It's about having your entire story recognized, not just the parts that fit a convenient narrative.
What hurt:
Back when Young was in middle school, she sang in a choir. She was giving it her all, but one day a new choir director pulled her aside and told her that she was shouting over everyone else, trying to be heard. At first, his words stung, bringing tears to her eyes. But what followed was a moment of profound recognition and guidance that would shape her life. You might recognize times when you've tried to make yourself heard by speaking louder, working harder, or pushing beyond your natural abilities. Like Young in the choir, you might think this is the only way to stand out or be recognized. But often, this approach can drown out your true voice. Sometimes, the key to being heard isn't about shouting louder, but about finding the right key.
- Consider times when you've made similar assumptions about others. Have you ever held back or changed your behavior based on what you thought someone might think, rather than their actual actions?
- The future of representation lies in bringing your whole self to the table, integrating different aspects of your identity and experiences.
August 27, 2024
So happy this was the Blinkist choice of the day as I prepare to head back to school this Wednesday in my 17th year of teaching.
TAKEAWAYS:
“True visibility isn't just about being present; it's about being fully seen, understood, and valued for your entire journey and contributions. Your authentic voice, when used confidently, resonates more powerfully than any forced attempt to stand out or be heard. “
Personal biases can lead to self-erasure, and recognizing and challenging these biases is crucial for genuine connection and growth. On top of this, bringing your whole self to your work and life — including your diverse experiences, passions, and perspectives — enriches not only your own journey but also creates more inclusive and innovative environments for everyone. The future of representation lies not in merely filling quotas, but in creating cultures where everyone feels empowered to contribute their unique voice and experiences.
TAKEAWAYS:
“True visibility isn't just about being present; it's about being fully seen, understood, and valued for your entire journey and contributions. Your authentic voice, when used confidently, resonates more powerfully than any forced attempt to stand out or be heard. “
Personal biases can lead to self-erasure, and recognizing and challenging these biases is crucial for genuine connection and growth. On top of this, bringing your whole self to your work and life — including your diverse experiences, passions, and perspectives — enriches not only your own journey but also creates more inclusive and innovative environments for everyone. The future of representation lies not in merely filling quotas, but in creating cultures where everyone feels empowered to contribute their unique voice and experiences.
August 26, 2024
Read on 81inklist.
At first I thought: "This is another book about people of colour who are disadvantaged.”. Yet another person who has made it to the top despite all the adversity.
Fortunately, my prejudices were disappointed.
Yes, someone has managed to climb the ladder despite the odds. But the book carries you with it. It shows us that each of us also has obstacles and how we can deal with them. And that we erect barriers for ourselves, usually unconsciously.
Very interesting, enlightening and compelling. I'd love to read more of this.
At first I thought: "This is another book about people of colour who are disadvantaged.”. Yet another person who has made it to the top despite all the adversity.
Fortunately, my prejudices were disappointed.
Yes, someone has managed to climb the ladder despite the odds. But the book carries you with it. It shows us that each of us also has obstacles and how we can deal with them. And that we erect barriers for ourselves, usually unconsciously.
Very interesting, enlightening and compelling. I'd love to read more of this.
February 1, 2025
“True visibility isn't just about being present; it's about being fully seen, understood, and valued for your entire journey and contributions. Your authentic voice, when used confidently, resonates more powerfully than any forced attempt to stand out or be heard."
Listened to this as an audiobook while at work. Denise definitely had some good points and a unique perspective to provide on the requests of a black leader in HR and the (questionable) genuineness of organizations.
Listened to this as an audiobook while at work. Denise definitely had some good points and a unique perspective to provide on the requests of a black leader in HR and the (questionable) genuineness of organizations.
April 5, 2025
used both hardcopy (won) and kindle (library) versions. didn't matter either way, not my cup of tea.
April 5, 2025
used both hardcopy (won) and kindle (library) versions. didn't matter either way, not my cup of tea.
August 2, 2025
Denise book is eye opening and confirming about what it means to be “seen”
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews