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Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood
A radical new examination of the transition into motherhood and how it affects the mind, brain and body
During pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood, women undergo a far-reaching physiological, psychological and social metamorphosis. Other than during adolescence, there is no other time in a human's life with such dramatic change, yet science, medicine, and philosophy have neglected this life-altering transition. Its seismic effects go largely unrepresented across literature and the arts. Speaking about motherhood as anything other than a pastel-hued dream remains, for the most part, taboo.
In this ground-breaking, deeply personal investigation, acclaimed journalist and author Lucy Jones brings to light the emerging concept of 'matrescence'. Drawing on new research across various fields—neuroscience and evolutionary biology; psychoanalysis and existential therapy; sociology, economics and ecology—Jones shows how the changes in the maternal mind, brain, and body are far more profound, wild, and enduring than we have been led to believe. She reveals the dangerous consequences of our neglect of the maternal experience, and interrogates the patriarchal and capitalist systems that have created the untenable situation mothers face today.
Here is an urgent examination of the modern institution of motherhood that seeks to unshackle all parents from oppressive social norms. As it deepens our understanding of matrescence, it raises vital questions about motherhood and femininity; interdependence and individual identity; and our relationships with each other and the world.
During pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood, women undergo a far-reaching physiological, psychological and social metamorphosis. Other than during adolescence, there is no other time in a human's life with such dramatic change, yet science, medicine, and philosophy have neglected this life-altering transition. Its seismic effects go largely unrepresented across literature and the arts. Speaking about motherhood as anything other than a pastel-hued dream remains, for the most part, taboo.
In this ground-breaking, deeply personal investigation, acclaimed journalist and author Lucy Jones brings to light the emerging concept of 'matrescence'. Drawing on new research across various fields—neuroscience and evolutionary biology; psychoanalysis and existential therapy; sociology, economics and ecology—Jones shows how the changes in the maternal mind, brain, and body are far more profound, wild, and enduring than we have been led to believe. She reveals the dangerous consequences of our neglect of the maternal experience, and interrogates the patriarchal and capitalist systems that have created the untenable situation mothers face today.
Here is an urgent examination of the modern institution of motherhood that seeks to unshackle all parents from oppressive social norms. As it deepens our understanding of matrescence, it raises vital questions about motherhood and femininity; interdependence and individual identity; and our relationships with each other and the world.
388 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 22, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,194 reviews
June 18, 2023
If you are a mom. If you want to be a mom. If you have a mom. If you want to support a mom. If you don’t mind a little non-fiction. Give this book some of your time.
It has animal and earth science, political and economical discussion, and a whole lot of truth and guidance for understanding matrescence (and even patrescence).
This book will stay with me more than any other I’ve ever read. And not just because I am in matrescence but because I have a mother, I know many mothers, and I could have been a much better friend and supporter if I would have been taught this stuff 10 years ago.
A part of me deeply aches that almost every facet of western society is designed to erase and sweep childbirth under the carpet. If you don’t believe this, then do yourself and the rest of society a favour and read this book. If you do already understand this, then reading it will be an ointment. Thank you Lucy Jones, you’re vulnerability and knowledge will change the world.
It has animal and earth science, political and economical discussion, and a whole lot of truth and guidance for understanding matrescence (and even patrescence).
This book will stay with me more than any other I’ve ever read. And not just because I am in matrescence but because I have a mother, I know many mothers, and I could have been a much better friend and supporter if I would have been taught this stuff 10 years ago.
A part of me deeply aches that almost every facet of western society is designed to erase and sweep childbirth under the carpet. If you don’t believe this, then do yourself and the rest of society a favour and read this book. If you do already understand this, then reading it will be an ointment. Thank you Lucy Jones, you’re vulnerability and knowledge will change the world.
July 3, 2023
Beautifully written book that truly feels like it was written as a response to every single question, emotion and thought I've had since becoming a mother. The only piece of writing I've found that ties together all the strands of motherhood: feminism, capitalism, biology, trauma, parenting, neuroscience.... An incredible book.
January 25, 2024
Matrescence, a word coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s, is the process of becoming a mother. It’s a transition period, like adolescence, that involves radical physical and mental changes and has lasting effects.
Like Jones’s previous book, Losing Eden, about climate breakdown and the human need for nature, Matrescence is a potent blend of scientific research and stories from the frontline. She has synthesized a huge amount of information into a tight 260-some pages that are structured thematically but also proceed roughly chronologically through her own matrescence. Not long into her pregnancy with her first child, a daughter, she realised the extent to which outdated and sexist expectations still govern motherhood: concepts like “natural childbirth” and “maternal instinct,” the judgemental requirement for exclusive breastfeeding, the idea that a parent should “enjoy every minute” of their offspring’s babyhood rather than admitting depression or overwhelm. After the cataclysm of birth, loneliness set in. “Matrescence was another country, another planet. I didn’t know how to talk about the existential crisis I was facing, or the confronting, encompassing relationship I was now in.”
Jones is now a mother of three. You might think delivery would get easier each time, but in fact the birth of her second son was worst, physically: she had to go into immediate surgery for a fourth-degree anal sphincter tear. In reflecting on her own experiences, and speaking with experts, she has become passionate about fostering open discussion about the pain and risk of childbirth, and how to mitigate them. Women who aren’t informed about what they might go through suffer more because of the shock and isolation. There’s the medical side, but also the equally important social implications: new mothers need so much more practical and mental health support, and their unpaid care work must be properly valued by society. “Yet the focus remains on individual responsibility, maintaining the illusion that we are impermeable, impenetrable machines, disconnected from the world around us.”
The hybrid nature of the book is its genius. A purely scientific approach might have been dry; a social history well-trod and worthy; a memoir too inward-looking to make wider points. Instead it’s equally committed to all three purposes. I appreciated the laser focus on her own physical and emotional development, but the statistical and theoretical context gives a sense of the universal. The literary touches – lists and word clouds, verse-like meditations and flash vignettes about natural phenomena – are not always successful, but there is a thrill to seeing Jones experimenting. Like Leah Hazard’s Womb, this is by no means a book that’s just for mothers; it’s for anyone who’s ever had a mother.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
Like Jones’s previous book, Losing Eden, about climate breakdown and the human need for nature, Matrescence is a potent blend of scientific research and stories from the frontline. She has synthesized a huge amount of information into a tight 260-some pages that are structured thematically but also proceed roughly chronologically through her own matrescence. Not long into her pregnancy with her first child, a daughter, she realised the extent to which outdated and sexist expectations still govern motherhood: concepts like “natural childbirth” and “maternal instinct,” the judgemental requirement for exclusive breastfeeding, the idea that a parent should “enjoy every minute” of their offspring’s babyhood rather than admitting depression or overwhelm. After the cataclysm of birth, loneliness set in. “Matrescence was another country, another planet. I didn’t know how to talk about the existential crisis I was facing, or the confronting, encompassing relationship I was now in.”
Jones is now a mother of three. You might think delivery would get easier each time, but in fact the birth of her second son was worst, physically: she had to go into immediate surgery for a fourth-degree anal sphincter tear. In reflecting on her own experiences, and speaking with experts, she has become passionate about fostering open discussion about the pain and risk of childbirth, and how to mitigate them. Women who aren’t informed about what they might go through suffer more because of the shock and isolation. There’s the medical side, but also the equally important social implications: new mothers need so much more practical and mental health support, and their unpaid care work must be properly valued by society. “Yet the focus remains on individual responsibility, maintaining the illusion that we are impermeable, impenetrable machines, disconnected from the world around us.”
The hybrid nature of the book is its genius. A purely scientific approach might have been dry; a social history well-trod and worthy; a memoir too inward-looking to make wider points. Instead it’s equally committed to all three purposes. I appreciated the laser focus on her own physical and emotional development, but the statistical and theoretical context gives a sense of the universal. The literary touches – lists and word clouds, verse-like meditations and flash vignettes about natural phenomena – are not always successful, but there is a thrill to seeing Jones experimenting. Like Leah Hazard’s Womb, this is by no means a book that’s just for mothers; it’s for anyone who’s ever had a mother.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
June 24, 2024
Hot take on this highly rated book apparently: I wouldn't recommend it to expectant mothers like myself.
I was looking for an honest and scientific take on things, but around 80% of this was a bit too subjective with the author's personal rocky experiences and perspectives (which are very valid!). Several times I had to take break periods away from it to refill my optimism meters and remember that I do not share the author's circumstances nor outlook.
I think it confirms my biggest takeaway from this journey infact. Listen but only take in what is useful- filter out what doesn't benefit!
I was looking for an honest and scientific take on things, but around 80% of this was a bit too subjective with the author's personal rocky experiences and perspectives (which are very valid!). Several times I had to take break periods away from it to refill my optimism meters and remember that I do not share the author's circumstances nor outlook.
I think it confirms my biggest takeaway from this journey infact. Listen but only take in what is useful- filter out what doesn't benefit!
August 25, 2023
This is the first time I’ve written a review but this book provoked strong feelings as a mother deep into matrescence. I absolutely related to lots of the book, and really tried to take the first few chapters from an objective point of view because I did not have the same experiences when it came to child birth and breastfeeding, but I do completely understand that the emphasis was on the pressure that the ‘natural mother’ rhetoric puts on women. I do however wish there had been more focus on the difference support can make to this journey and having the support there. I think had I read this whilst pregnant it would have made me feel rather fearful of early motherhood, whereas I think if you do have a fantastic support network around you, you are able to focus on the more joyous elements of mothering. Absolutely agree we need to value mothers more as a society and I found lots of the scientific information extremely interesting. A worthwhile read, however frustrating at times.
June 12, 2024
I really enjoyed the first half of this book. I found it incredibly insightful and eye-opening, as I’m preparing for my first baby. Understanding how my body and mind were changing during my first-trimester was reassuring because I felt this dramatic shift in my body, my sense of self, even my personality. However I did not have the biological and psychological knowledge to make sense of it.
Despite this, I found the second half to be a bit anxiety inducing. I didn’t feel it was a balanced perception of motherhood but just all the tough parts. I guess she was trying to cover the stuff that is seen as taboo in the mothering world and isn’t talked about, but it momentarily took away a lot of the excitement I was feeling and left me feeling anxious. I appreciated that she was giving an honest account of her experience and recognising how society fails mothers. However, I felt that the focus could have been more on how to allow mothers to have a more empowering and enjoyable experience of motherhood rather than all the ways that it can be shit for us. An enlightening read but a bit too negative at times for me!
Despite this, I found the second half to be a bit anxiety inducing. I didn’t feel it was a balanced perception of motherhood but just all the tough parts. I guess she was trying to cover the stuff that is seen as taboo in the mothering world and isn’t talked about, but it momentarily took away a lot of the excitement I was feeling and left me feeling anxious. I appreciated that she was giving an honest account of her experience and recognising how society fails mothers. However, I felt that the focus could have been more on how to allow mothers to have a more empowering and enjoyable experience of motherhood rather than all the ways that it can be shit for us. An enlightening read but a bit too negative at times for me!
September 9, 2025
The book has very little to do with the term matrescence and is not a reliable source for learning about it. Instead, it is a sad and often very angry story of one unlucky mother, who is whining in her book. It offers very little relevant scientific information about matrescence but contains plenty of unrelated details about bugs and plants.
I absolutely don’t recommend this book to anyone planning to become a mother or who has just become one. Most likely, it will make you feel even more depressed, as it did for me. The book is filled with highly subjective opinions, and it’s important to remember that your motherhood experience won’t necessarily be as dark as the author’s.
Listening to it on Audible, with the author narrating it herself, makes the experience even worse – she sounds so angry. I rarely abandon books, but I couldn’t bring myself to finish this one.
I absolutely don’t recommend this book to anyone planning to become a mother or who has just become one. Most likely, it will make you feel even more depressed, as it did for me. The book is filled with highly subjective opinions, and it’s important to remember that your motherhood experience won’t necessarily be as dark as the author’s.
Listening to it on Audible, with the author narrating it herself, makes the experience even worse – she sounds so angry. I rarely abandon books, but I couldn’t bring myself to finish this one.
September 11, 2024
Dnf. This book needs a trigger warning for anyone on the journey to motherhood.
March 19, 2024
Not going to lie: was drawn to this book by the beautiful cover.
I knew from the outset that this might be a masochistic (cathartic?) read with which I would struggle. But I did feel open to the text. There were certainly useful and interesting insights, findings and perspectives. But I did struggle with the author's seeming lack of self-awareness and world-awareness. Really: you didn't think care work was hard until you became a mother??
There were also sweeping statements about how motherhood is specifically lonely - I wished the author would have taken a more high-level, open-minded approach of acknowledging that all humans experience periods of profound loneliness, these just occur for us at different times and in different circumstances depending on our lives. For example, she says compares matrescence to adolescence but says about the latter "at least we weren't alone." She clearly didn't experience being a teenager without a friend group.
Not to say it's not a useful book, I just think it is aimed at quite a specific group.
I knew from the outset that this might be a masochistic (cathartic?) read with which I would struggle. But I did feel open to the text. There were certainly useful and interesting insights, findings and perspectives. But I did struggle with the author's seeming lack of self-awareness and world-awareness. Really: you didn't think care work was hard until you became a mother??
There were also sweeping statements about how motherhood is specifically lonely - I wished the author would have taken a more high-level, open-minded approach of acknowledging that all humans experience periods of profound loneliness, these just occur for us at different times and in different circumstances depending on our lives. For example, she says compares matrescence to adolescence but says about the latter "at least we weren't alone." She clearly didn't experience being a teenager without a friend group.
Not to say it's not a useful book, I just think it is aimed at quite a specific group.
November 13, 2024
I was hoping for a lot more science and a lot less anecdotal experiences from this book. I’m disappointed on behalf of the author for how little balanced information on pregnancy, birth, and motherhood she was given. I could only relate with her on a few points, and while it sounds like her experiences with this stage of life was a fair bit more intense than mine, I can’t help but think that the balanced, honest women I know, and education I received is what kept me centered. I appreciated her acknowledgment of how feminism has devalued mothering, alongside of her criticisms of patriarchy. Throughout the book there is also an undercurrent of resentment towards Christianity, which I thought was sad too, since that is where I found myself to be the most supported, valued, and cared for throughout this massive transition. She looks to the government to change society, I look to myself to be an agent of positive change, and to my community to join me in educating and caring for each other.
December 27, 2024
This book needed the firm hand of a ruthless editor. The subject matter was interesting, but the execution left a lot to be desired.
I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve spent my entire career in neuroscience, so admittedly this might be an idiosyncratic pet hatred of mine, but the constant popular science fan-girling (smearing her sweat on slides—why would anyone do this? It’s just so strange) and “crunchiness” had me rolling my eyes more times than I can count. The vignettes felt incredibly pretentious and completely disrupted the flow of the book. The scientific exploration here is hopelessly surface-level, and she offers no counterpoints or systematic reviews to give her arguments any meaningful scientific weight.
She raised some reasonable points, and I would have loved for her to explore those further. Incredibly, the last 10–20 pages of the book were the most dense with salient ideas that she could have developed throughout the entire text. Instead, it felt like a self-absorbed chronology of her own experience which, while occasionally interesting, was mostly quite boring.
I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve spent my entire career in neuroscience, so admittedly this might be an idiosyncratic pet hatred of mine, but the constant popular science fan-girling (smearing her sweat on slides—why would anyone do this? It’s just so strange) and “crunchiness” had me rolling my eyes more times than I can count. The vignettes felt incredibly pretentious and completely disrupted the flow of the book. The scientific exploration here is hopelessly surface-level, and she offers no counterpoints or systematic reviews to give her arguments any meaningful scientific weight.
She raised some reasonable points, and I would have loved for her to explore those further. Incredibly, the last 10–20 pages of the book were the most dense with salient ideas that she could have developed throughout the entire text. Instead, it felt like a self-absorbed chronology of her own experience which, while occasionally interesting, was mostly quite boring.
Read
March 19, 2024NB: I don't rate non fiction.
Absolutely fascinating and insightful look into the life altering transition into Motherhood, from pregnancy and birth to the sleep deprived early years and beyond. At times deeply personal, Lucy Jones speaks with passion about a period so many of us have gone through yet still dont talk about openly. So many times I was nodding my head along to Lucy's words as she spoke so candidly about her struggles with labour, the trauma from pain and tears (which I also had and drew so many parallels with) to bonding with your children, feelings of inadequacy and how the body is irreversibly altered. Motherhood, for me, was this odd juxtaposition of joy and abject despair. It was the societal struggle to breastfeed, not realising that so many babies are combination and bottle fed, to the overall lack of sleep while trying to keep this small person alive that had me constantly treading water. I'm five years out from having a newborn, and yet my memories of that time are still incredibly raw, and nothing can prepare you for how mind and body altering a process matrescence is. I will forever be greatful for this book in getting me to acknowledge that my experiences were valid, and shared.
Recommend for anyone who has gone through matrescence or is about to become a parent. Don't ever think you're alone in your journey.
Absolutely fascinating and insightful look into the life altering transition into Motherhood, from pregnancy and birth to the sleep deprived early years and beyond. At times deeply personal, Lucy Jones speaks with passion about a period so many of us have gone through yet still dont talk about openly. So many times I was nodding my head along to Lucy's words as she spoke so candidly about her struggles with labour, the trauma from pain and tears (which I also had and drew so many parallels with) to bonding with your children, feelings of inadequacy and how the body is irreversibly altered. Motherhood, for me, was this odd juxtaposition of joy and abject despair. It was the societal struggle to breastfeed, not realising that so many babies are combination and bottle fed, to the overall lack of sleep while trying to keep this small person alive that had me constantly treading water. I'm five years out from having a newborn, and yet my memories of that time are still incredibly raw, and nothing can prepare you for how mind and body altering a process matrescence is. I will forever be greatful for this book in getting me to acknowledge that my experiences were valid, and shared.
Recommend for anyone who has gone through matrescence or is about to become a parent. Don't ever think you're alone in your journey.
August 5, 2024
4.25 stars.
This was an incredible read, and one that felt both terrifying and comforting. Part of me wishes I'd had this when I was either pregnant or newly postpartum, but the other part of me thinks this would have scared me a lot, so I'm not sure what the sweet spot is for reading this book. What I will say is that Lucy Jones (through a mixture of research and personal experience) isn't scared to voice a lot of the more taboo topics that come along with the journey that is matrescence, the things mothers are often scared to voice. The feeding chapter in particular really spoke to me, and I felt very seen by her words. While I would say that this book can border a little on being too much of Jones's own experience, and her personal struggles truly colour a lot of the content, I think that at the end of the day there is enough value in here that people should take elements with a pinch of salt while at the same time taking a lot of comfort in this. And it will make you feel angry, particularly the later chapters. For a society that places so much emphasis on childbearing and childrearing, there sure isn't a lot of support for people who have less than optimal experiences. Anyway, I'd highly recommend this.
This was an incredible read, and one that felt both terrifying and comforting. Part of me wishes I'd had this when I was either pregnant or newly postpartum, but the other part of me thinks this would have scared me a lot, so I'm not sure what the sweet spot is for reading this book. What I will say is that Lucy Jones (through a mixture of research and personal experience) isn't scared to voice a lot of the more taboo topics that come along with the journey that is matrescence, the things mothers are often scared to voice. The feeding chapter in particular really spoke to me, and I felt very seen by her words. While I would say that this book can border a little on being too much of Jones's own experience, and her personal struggles truly colour a lot of the content, I think that at the end of the day there is enough value in here that people should take elements with a pinch of salt while at the same time taking a lot of comfort in this. And it will make you feel angry, particularly the later chapters. For a society that places so much emphasis on childbearing and childrearing, there sure isn't a lot of support for people who have less than optimal experiences. Anyway, I'd highly recommend this.
November 29, 2023
This is the book I’ve been needing since becoming a mother. It helped me make sense of many of my own experiences. It’s therapy in a book but it’s also so much more as it blends genres: social critic, memoir, science report and even poetry. It’s absolutely brilliant.
January 20, 2025
As someone in matrescence, this book was deeply valuable to me, but I know it would be even if I was not. This is about our society’s support (or a lack thereof) for those going through their pregnancy, birth & parenthood journeys. It is also filled with nature writing that relates back to the chapter— The author has a background in ecology as well. I’d consider this an examination & a critique really of the way the modern world fails us when it comes to matters of reproductive support. From the limited access to a proper care team who will value your wants in pregnancy & birth to the lack of maternal mental health support, the laughable “leave” time slots parents are given, the absence of proper care for mothers postpartum & SO much more… This book examined it all.
.
It was both deeply fascinating & depressing. It made me feel seen & it also made me feel flabbergasted. Jones definitely included all the nitty gritty along with lots of shocking statistics & I will say… Some of it was difficult to read. That being said, it was also absolutely beautiful at times & put into words exactly how I feel as a mother. I read this over the course of many months (when my baby was 4-8 months old) & one day, my IBCLC came over for a home visit & saw this book on my bedside table. She said “Oh! You’re reading Matrescence! A bit depressing isn’t it?” 😂
.
I think most readers would agree they want proper care for all parents regardless of socioeconomic background, race, gender, etc. but it was hard to read these statistics & maintain hope that all of society feels that way. Child-rearing can be bleak in many ways, but it’s especially bleak for Black & Brown parents, parents in abusive households, those experiencing poverty, etc. I would like to say this book inspired something profound in me, but quite honestly the end made it seem like we will have to completely remake society if we want change in the ways we are supported.
.
SO! That leads me to the conclusion that I simply must just do my best with what I have in my area. I will build the community I want myself as a mother to live in & my children to thrive in. I will surround myself with the support I need & crave. I will talk to my children & loved ones about how to show up for those who are pregnant, trying to be, or those postpartum. I will reach out to my friends going through the massive physical & hormonal storm of parenthood & most importantly, I will give myself a very big hug.
.
It was both deeply fascinating & depressing. It made me feel seen & it also made me feel flabbergasted. Jones definitely included all the nitty gritty along with lots of shocking statistics & I will say… Some of it was difficult to read. That being said, it was also absolutely beautiful at times & put into words exactly how I feel as a mother. I read this over the course of many months (when my baby was 4-8 months old) & one day, my IBCLC came over for a home visit & saw this book on my bedside table. She said “Oh! You’re reading Matrescence! A bit depressing isn’t it?” 😂
.
I think most readers would agree they want proper care for all parents regardless of socioeconomic background, race, gender, etc. but it was hard to read these statistics & maintain hope that all of society feels that way. Child-rearing can be bleak in many ways, but it’s especially bleak for Black & Brown parents, parents in abusive households, those experiencing poverty, etc. I would like to say this book inspired something profound in me, but quite honestly the end made it seem like we will have to completely remake society if we want change in the ways we are supported.
.
SO! That leads me to the conclusion that I simply must just do my best with what I have in my area. I will build the community I want myself as a mother to live in & my children to thrive in. I will surround myself with the support I need & crave. I will talk to my children & loved ones about how to show up for those who are pregnant, trying to be, or those postpartum. I will reach out to my friends going through the massive physical & hormonal storm of parenthood & most importantly, I will give myself a very big hug.
December 27, 2024
This book is one of many I've started and finished from the new age of women feminists/philosophers/scientists and I'm not into it. I get it. We live in a tough world. There are bad things that happen. Bad things happened to this woman which are inexcusable and the system totally failed her. That sucks. I'm glad she wrote a book that helped her to process all the really horrible stuff that she had to go through.
I was expecting a science book and I got a memoir. I wanted a science book.
This title should read: One woman's metamorphosis through pregnancy, childbirth, and delivery.
She spends fully 99% of this book making you want to kill yourself or someone or maybe sterilize all women or fire all doctors/midwives, or I don't know. It's awful and I wouldn't recommend it to parents.
The big message I would have for this author, if I met her is: You believe your experience is all women's experience. You believe that your feelings are all women's feelings. NOT ALL WOMEN FEEL AS YOU DO. NOT ALL WOMEN EXPERIENCED LIFE THE WAY YOU DID.
I had some very hard situations as a mother. My friends and family did as well. It's hard to move through LIFE and not have staggeringly hard situations involving the transition to parenthood. But we do it. That's why we ROCK.
Own your toughness. Embrace the messiness of motherhood. And most of all, don't write a book on your personal experience and call it science. Now that you've worked through the angst of what happened to you, go out and figure out a way to make it better. Join a volunteer group as a peer counselor. Start a parent/mom group and help other women deal with their feelings. Write your congressperson (or whoever they have in Britain) about the importance of after birth care. Use your writing savvy to pen some articles about how to improve things for women.
The last 1% of this book was the author trying to reel back the horror from the first 99% of the book. Too little too late. I did like the sciencey bits.
I was expecting a science book and I got a memoir. I wanted a science book.
This title should read: One woman's metamorphosis through pregnancy, childbirth, and delivery.
She spends fully 99% of this book making you want to kill yourself or someone or maybe sterilize all women or fire all doctors/midwives, or I don't know. It's awful and I wouldn't recommend it to parents.
The big message I would have for this author, if I met her is: You believe your experience is all women's experience. You believe that your feelings are all women's feelings. NOT ALL WOMEN FEEL AS YOU DO. NOT ALL WOMEN EXPERIENCED LIFE THE WAY YOU DID.
I had some very hard situations as a mother. My friends and family did as well. It's hard to move through LIFE and not have staggeringly hard situations involving the transition to parenthood. But we do it. That's why we ROCK.
Own your toughness. Embrace the messiness of motherhood. And most of all, don't write a book on your personal experience and call it science. Now that you've worked through the angst of what happened to you, go out and figure out a way to make it better. Join a volunteer group as a peer counselor. Start a parent/mom group and help other women deal with their feelings. Write your congressperson (or whoever they have in Britain) about the importance of after birth care. Use your writing savvy to pen some articles about how to improve things for women.
The last 1% of this book was the author trying to reel back the horror from the first 99% of the book. Too little too late. I did like the sciencey bits.
June 18, 2024
I like to ask mothers to share how the work of parenting compares to traditional career work pre-children, and how their own satisfaction in/enjoyment of the two compare. I've never met a mom who is able to articulate her feelings about the different modes of labor/existence. This book goes farther than anything else I've encountered to explain what profound changes occur in the life of a woman who becomes a mother: bodily, mentally, chemically, emotionally, societally.
I think this book makes an excellent counterpoint to Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, the only other book on pregnancy I've read. But where Guide to Childbirth zooms in on the actual delivery of a child, Matrescence focuses on the whole project of motherhood, from conception to the mothering of a born child.
Jones's wonder in nature, science, and what they can teach us is reminiscent of Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, though Jones has a distinct voice. Her scientific explorations and descriptions of the changes that take place in a woman who becomes a mother were consistent with what I've witnessed in friends who've undergone that transition. Her book addressed topics and questions that the mainstream has avoided, like difficulties with breast feeding, the prevalence of postpartum depression, and ways modern western society can impede or make more painful the transition to motherhood.
I think this book makes an excellent counterpoint to Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, the only other book on pregnancy I've read. But where Guide to Childbirth zooms in on the actual delivery of a child, Matrescence focuses on the whole project of motherhood, from conception to the mothering of a born child.
Jones's wonder in nature, science, and what they can teach us is reminiscent of Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, though Jones has a distinct voice. Her scientific explorations and descriptions of the changes that take place in a woman who becomes a mother were consistent with what I've witnessed in friends who've undergone that transition. Her book addressed topics and questions that the mainstream has avoided, like difficulties with breast feeding, the prevalence of postpartum depression, and ways modern western society can impede or make more painful the transition to motherhood.
January 5, 2025
This book was supposed to be about Motherhood but instead is just her political manifesto spouting the prevailing politically correct hatred’s of the day.
There are multiple errors.
There are multiple errors.
March 31, 2025
Stunning. Magnificent. Wonderful. Moving. Impactful. ALL THE THINGS.
This should be required reading for every human, but especially for mothers, parents, people who love someone who has given birth, people who want to have children (birthing or otherwise). I felt as if everything Jones wrote was plucked from my own mind and given words I have been unable to articulate.
I listened to this on audiobook and I think that was the perfect medium for consumption. 10/10 audio, 10/10 book. My husband is now listening to this and I will be evangelizing it for the rest of forever.
This should be required reading for every human, but especially for mothers, parents, people who love someone who has given birth, people who want to have children (birthing or otherwise). I felt as if everything Jones wrote was plucked from my own mind and given words I have been unable to articulate.
I listened to this on audiobook and I think that was the perfect medium for consumption. 10/10 audio, 10/10 book. My husband is now listening to this and I will be evangelizing it for the rest of forever.
June 21, 2024
In asking questions about motherhood or even thinking about motherhood, it seems like so often womens’ experiences are painted over with some weird sparkly vocabulary— “it’s hard but it’s worth it” type stuff. Whether mothers do this so as not to scare other women or just give an impression of being okay, I’m not sure, but it feels really hard to know what an accurate “matrescence” even looks like.
Lucy Jones to the rescue! There are parts of Jones’ own story and research that genuinely scared me regarding having a baby. She spares no detail, but while it was really scary, I also felt relief and deep appreciation that she was even discussing her own experience at all.
Jones is extremely well researched—I really appreciated all of the studies she referenced. She discusses how motherhood physically and chemically changes your brain to be more attuned to the baby, etc.
There seems to be a pretty major lack of support for mothers, and I wonder how much of this could be helped by the church. Perhaps the church is doing a lot, and I just don’t see it because I’m not in a season of matrescence right now.
Overall, this book has given me a whole new appreciation and admiration for the mothers I know, particularly my own mother. There is so much sacrifice that we (children of mothers) don’t even know about.
Go hug your mom and all of your friends who are moms!
Lucy Jones to the rescue! There are parts of Jones’ own story and research that genuinely scared me regarding having a baby. She spares no detail, but while it was really scary, I also felt relief and deep appreciation that she was even discussing her own experience at all.
Jones is extremely well researched—I really appreciated all of the studies she referenced. She discusses how motherhood physically and chemically changes your brain to be more attuned to the baby, etc.
There seems to be a pretty major lack of support for mothers, and I wonder how much of this could be helped by the church. Perhaps the church is doing a lot, and I just don’t see it because I’m not in a season of matrescence right now.
Overall, this book has given me a whole new appreciation and admiration for the mothers I know, particularly my own mother. There is so much sacrifice that we (children of mothers) don’t even know about.
Go hug your mom and all of your friends who are moms!
November 8, 2024
I think moms need to read more books like this. We know to read “What to Expect” and various baby and parenting books, but the focus in all of these is the baby and its development. Women go through significant brain, body, and hormone changes which remain altered permanently. Reducing it to merely “mom brain” is so condescending. Having books like this to put names and explanations to the experience of motherhood is so important.
My favourite chapter was the one on maternal ambivalence. You can love being a mother without loving motherhood.
My favourite chapter was the one on maternal ambivalence. You can love being a mother without loving motherhood.
September 6, 2024
I feel seen. I feel heard. I feel validated as a mother after reading this brilliant and groundbreaking piece of nonfiction literature. Jones’s beautifully written prose and research on motherhood and its place in the modern world is exactly what I needed while navigating the world and all its complexities four months after giving birth to my second baby. This is a must read for all mothers and fathers and really anybody because we all have/had a mother.
February 4, 2025
Absolutely fascinating. While I think it's important to remember that this is one woman's story, and not representative of all mothers' experiences, it was shocking and a bit scarring to read about Lucy Jones' first pregnancy and birth of her first child. BUT I am also thankful to have read it, because it seems like there's so much that women without children don't know about the process of matrescence. Like, did you know that when a woman becomes pregnant, cells from the child remain in her body forever?? Scientists aren't yet sure whether this is a good, bad, or neutral thing, but it's wild that women are literally changed on a cellular level through this unique process.
I don't think this book was meant to answer all questions - I am certainly left with a lot of uncertainty about things like "natural" birth vs a hospital birth - but primarily to make us aware of how difficult and utterly transformative becoming a mother can be. While reading, I thought about my own mom frequently, wondering how this process changed her and affected her. I already knew that raising children was a sacrifice, but had never thought about how pregnancy and birth are enormous sacrifices in their own right!
In some reviews, Jones is criticized for not being aware that care work is so difficult - for not even acknowledging that being a parent was a real job before she had kids. Idk, I feel like I understand this. In my 20s, I was a very self absorbed person, barely aware of the lives of people around me. I'm still self absorbed, but I'm also learning. I just want to point out that everyone's in a different spot, and it takes engagement with others - or going through something hard yourself - to more fully understand what it's like to live in someone else's shoes.
Jones calls for societal and cultural changes to ease and normalize the process of matrescence. She herself found solace in community and in nature. As a Christian, I can't help but think of the church and the important role that it MUST play here. New mothers need community, physical assistance, emotional support, and more, and the Bible absolutely commands the church to be the hands and feet of Jesus to people with these needs. While waiting for society to make significant improvements, I hope local churches can fill the gaps and sacrificially care for new mothers and their children, reflecting the heart of God towards the weak and the discouraged.
Anyway, this was a really good book and a good starting point for someone who's curious about what being a mother actually entails. Again, it will not answer every question but it might help you to formulate the right questions to ask. The honesty was refreshing, the writing was quite good, and I really enjoyed the way Jones meshed nature with her biological, mental, and emotional experiences. (Annie Dillard vibes for sure!) Two of my friends read this before me and I'm glad I finally got around to seeing what their hype was about!!
I don't think this book was meant to answer all questions - I am certainly left with a lot of uncertainty about things like "natural" birth vs a hospital birth - but primarily to make us aware of how difficult and utterly transformative becoming a mother can be. While reading, I thought about my own mom frequently, wondering how this process changed her and affected her. I already knew that raising children was a sacrifice, but had never thought about how pregnancy and birth are enormous sacrifices in their own right!
In some reviews, Jones is criticized for not being aware that care work is so difficult - for not even acknowledging that being a parent was a real job before she had kids. Idk, I feel like I understand this. In my 20s, I was a very self absorbed person, barely aware of the lives of people around me. I'm still self absorbed, but I'm also learning. I just want to point out that everyone's in a different spot, and it takes engagement with others - or going through something hard yourself - to more fully understand what it's like to live in someone else's shoes.
Jones calls for societal and cultural changes to ease and normalize the process of matrescence. She herself found solace in community and in nature. As a Christian, I can't help but think of the church and the important role that it MUST play here. New mothers need community, physical assistance, emotional support, and more, and the Bible absolutely commands the church to be the hands and feet of Jesus to people with these needs. While waiting for society to make significant improvements, I hope local churches can fill the gaps and sacrificially care for new mothers and their children, reflecting the heart of God towards the weak and the discouraged.
Anyway, this was a really good book and a good starting point for someone who's curious about what being a mother actually entails. Again, it will not answer every question but it might help you to formulate the right questions to ask. The honesty was refreshing, the writing was quite good, and I really enjoyed the way Jones meshed nature with her biological, mental, and emotional experiences. (Annie Dillard vibes for sure!) Two of my friends read this before me and I'm glad I finally got around to seeing what their hype was about!!
May 25, 2025
"It is found that the impact of pregnancy on the brain is as significant as the impact of adolescence"
No tõesti nii hea kui kiidetakse. Mulle tundub, et ajastus sai ka hea; st keegi andis mulle vahetult ette märku, mida mu aju/füüsis läbi tegema hakkab, aga mitte selline emaks saanud sõbranna ütleb sulle koogi ja kohvi kõrvale, kuidas saab olema, vaid mõnus kompott kogemusest ja akadeemilistest teadmistest läbi ajastute. Parem teada ja osata märgata, eksole!! ja ennast seeläbi juba ette hoida. Tulevastele emadele, ERITI isadele (: igatahes priima teejuht!!!
No tõesti nii hea kui kiidetakse. Mulle tundub, et ajastus sai ka hea; st keegi andis mulle vahetult ette märku, mida mu aju/füüsis läbi tegema hakkab, aga mitte selline emaks saanud sõbranna ütleb sulle koogi ja kohvi kõrvale, kuidas saab olema, vaid mõnus kompott kogemusest ja akadeemilistest teadmistest läbi ajastute. Parem teada ja osata märgata, eksole!! ja ennast seeläbi juba ette hoida. Tulevastele emadele, ERITI isadele (: igatahes priima teejuht!!!
April 25, 2024
This book is one I picked up on the recommendation of a friend as the author is due to come to our library soon for an event. The book instantly sounded interesting, as I am a mother and therefore in matrescence. I have a 2.5year old, and have gone through many of the things Lucy referred to in this book, and yet I also didn’t know so many of the things which she described and which she looks into. Truly there’s a whole world of knowledge within this short title which I think would be invaluable to know pre-pregnancy and as a mother now.
The author writes this in a very approachable way so that the science is woven with her personal account and also with the history and culturally-relevant information to prove the points. Life in Western society has driven a wedge between motherhood and the natural, social way we’ve parented in the past, the days of tribes and groups raising a baby, and working together to take the load off of new mothers is in our past. What we see here is an examination of how and why this has happened along with advice and insight into the changes wrought by pregnancy and matrescence.
Truly, I think this might be a must-read for many many people who intend to be pregnant or to be a primary caregiver to a child. The world of matrescence was new to me before this, but I feel as though many of the things I learned in this book will stay with me. 4.5*s
The author writes this in a very approachable way so that the science is woven with her personal account and also with the history and culturally-relevant information to prove the points. Life in Western society has driven a wedge between motherhood and the natural, social way we’ve parented in the past, the days of tribes and groups raising a baby, and working together to take the load off of new mothers is in our past. What we see here is an examination of how and why this has happened along with advice and insight into the changes wrought by pregnancy and matrescence.
Truly, I think this might be a must-read for many many people who intend to be pregnant or to be a primary caregiver to a child. The world of matrescence was new to me before this, but I feel as though many of the things I learned in this book will stay with me. 4.5*s
October 9, 2024
I'm having a hard time giving this book a star rating. It almost feels like I've been reading a completely different book than some of the rave reviews I've seen.
On one hand, there were some parts of it that were amazing and kept me reading, which were all the researched, nonfiction elements. Despite having read my fair share of similar books on motherhood, I did still find some interesting facts that I did not know. The shifting ideologies around labour and breastfeeding were particularly well-written.
Howe, some parts where I rolled my eyes or was just not feeling the overly flowery writing - the nature metaphors just really didn't do it for me and it really took me out of the book. In addition to this, there were too many pretentious descriptions littered throughout the book. Yes, I understand that the author had a more sensitive nose throughout her pregnancy, I don't need it detailed with paragraphs of examples for several pages - and that's just one example of many, many obnoxious descriptions I had to endure for the sections I was most interested in reading.
Overall I don't think I would recommend people read this book, I've found that both the personal stories and academic information are better handled in other books I've read.
On one hand, there were some parts of it that were amazing and kept me reading, which were all the researched, nonfiction elements. Despite having read my fair share of similar books on motherhood, I did still find some interesting facts that I did not know. The shifting ideologies around labour and breastfeeding were particularly well-written.
Howe, some parts where I rolled my eyes or was just not feeling the overly flowery writing - the nature metaphors just really didn't do it for me and it really took me out of the book. In addition to this, there were too many pretentious descriptions littered throughout the book. Yes, I understand that the author had a more sensitive nose throughout her pregnancy, I don't need it detailed with paragraphs of examples for several pages - and that's just one example of many, many obnoxious descriptions I had to endure for the sections I was most interested in reading.
Overall I don't think I would recommend people read this book, I've found that both the personal stories and academic information are better handled in other books I've read.
May 21, 2025
I expected a beautiful book about the incredible changes that occur in our bodies, brains, and selves with the transition to motherhood. Because, HELLOOO, Matrescence is an absolutely incredible process!!!!!
Instead I suffered through a book written by a woman who hated her entire transition into motherhood, and admittedly hates womanhood, complaining that society didn’t prepare her like she wanted, that nobody saved her from her struggle, that her government doesn’t do enough to make it “easy” to do the job she chose. She did not enter motherhood with any confidence in her own self, went with the flow of what she believed that others expected she was “supposed” to do, and expected the professionals to give her what she needed and then was upset that they simply told her the generic advice, which is all you’ll get from government employees or doctors most often. She blamed society for HER not preparing herself or trusting her own intuition. And not once is self reflective enough to consider that she knew what was best for herself and her babies all along.
It was written clinging to the toxicity of current wave feminism, with all the bitterness towards femininity that you’d expect from an SJW. Truly the most terrible, negative, unhelpful book I have ever read on the topic.
Instead I suffered through a book written by a woman who hated her entire transition into motherhood, and admittedly hates womanhood, complaining that society didn’t prepare her like she wanted, that nobody saved her from her struggle, that her government doesn’t do enough to make it “easy” to do the job she chose. She did not enter motherhood with any confidence in her own self, went with the flow of what she believed that others expected she was “supposed” to do, and expected the professionals to give her what she needed and then was upset that they simply told her the generic advice, which is all you’ll get from government employees or doctors most often. She blamed society for HER not preparing herself or trusting her own intuition. And not once is self reflective enough to consider that she knew what was best for herself and her babies all along.
It was written clinging to the toxicity of current wave feminism, with all the bitterness towards femininity that you’d expect from an SJW. Truly the most terrible, negative, unhelpful book I have ever read on the topic.
December 5, 2024
Wow. Im at a loss for words. How is any of this not common sense or taught in high school (looking at you, patriarchy).
An ABSOLUTE must read.
An ABSOLUTE must read.
December 4, 2025
Was ein Buch. Eye-opening. Brutal. Wunderschön. Ich habe lange nicht mehr so viel wow wow wow gedacht und so viel gestaunt (im Guten wie im Schlechten). Ein umfassender Blick darauf, was es bedeutet Mutter zu werden, biologisch, ökonomisch, sozial, philosophisch. Ich habe wahrscheinlich über kein Buch diesen Sommer so viel geyapped wie über dieses. Fand die erste Hälfte des Buches insgesamt wahrscheinlich stärker als die Zweite, aber ingesamt trotzdem ein top read. Falls ihr überlegt mal Mutter zu werden oder eine Mutter kennt oder eine Mutter habt, solltet ihr dieses Buch lesen. ;)
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