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Where Did You Sleep Last Night?: A Personal History
From the author of the bestselling Caucasia , a sad, revealing memoir of the mixed-race marriage of her parents, and the very different American origins that brought them together and pulled them apart.
When Danzy Senna's parents got married in 1968, they seemed poised to defy history. They were two brilliant young American writers from wildly divergent backgrounds—a white woman with a blue-blood Bostonian lineage and a black man, the son of a struggling single mother and an unknown father. They married in a year that seemed to separate the past from the present; together, these two would snub the histories that divided them and embrace a radical future. When their marriage disintegrated eight years later, it was, as one friend put it, "the ugliest divorce in Boston's history"—a violent, traumatic war that felt all the more heartrending given the hopeful symbolism of their union.
Decades later, Senna looks back not only at her parents' divorce but beyond it, to the opposing American histories that her parents had tried so hard to overcome. On her mother's side of the family she finds—in carefully preserved documents—the chronicle of a white America both illustrious and shameful. On her father's she discovers, through fragments and shreds of evidence, a no less remarkable history. As she digs deeper into this unwritten half of the story, she reconstructs a long buried family mystery that illuminates her own childhood. In the process, she begins to understand her difficult father, the power and failure of her parents' union, and, finally, the forces of history.
Where Did You Sleep Last Night? is at once a potent statement of personal identity, a challenging look at the murky waters of American ancestry, and an exploration of narratives—the narratives we create and those we forget. Senna has given us an unforgettable testimony to the paradoxes—the pain and the pride—embedded in history, family, and race.
When Danzy Senna's parents got married in 1968, they seemed poised to defy history. They were two brilliant young American writers from wildly divergent backgrounds—a white woman with a blue-blood Bostonian lineage and a black man, the son of a struggling single mother and an unknown father. They married in a year that seemed to separate the past from the present; together, these two would snub the histories that divided them and embrace a radical future. When their marriage disintegrated eight years later, it was, as one friend put it, "the ugliest divorce in Boston's history"—a violent, traumatic war that felt all the more heartrending given the hopeful symbolism of their union.
Decades later, Senna looks back not only at her parents' divorce but beyond it, to the opposing American histories that her parents had tried so hard to overcome. On her mother's side of the family she finds—in carefully preserved documents—the chronicle of a white America both illustrious and shameful. On her father's she discovers, through fragments and shreds of evidence, a no less remarkable history. As she digs deeper into this unwritten half of the story, she reconstructs a long buried family mystery that illuminates her own childhood. In the process, she begins to understand her difficult father, the power and failure of her parents' union, and, finally, the forces of history.
Where Did You Sleep Last Night? is at once a potent statement of personal identity, a challenging look at the murky waters of American ancestry, and an exploration of narratives—the narratives we create and those we forget. Senna has given us an unforgettable testimony to the paradoxes—the pain and the pride—embedded in history, family, and race.
208 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 12, 2009
30 people are currently reading
1340 people want to read
About the author
Danzy Senna
12 books1,060 followersDanzy Senna is an American novelist, born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts in 1970. Her parents, Carl Senna, an Afro-Mexican poet and author, and Fanny Howe, who is Irish-American writer, were also civil rights activists.
She attended Stanford University and received an MFA from the University of California at Irvine. There, she received several creative writing awards.
Her debut novel, Caucasia (later republished as From Caucasia With Love), was well received and won several awards including the Book-Of-The-Month Stephen Crane Award for First Fiction, and the Alex Award from the American Library Association.
Her second novel, Symptomatic, was also well received. Both books feature a biracial protagonist and offer a unique view on life from their perspective.
Senna has also contributed to anthologies such as Gumbo.
In 2002, Senna received the Whiting Writers Award and in 2004 was named a Fellow for the New York Public Library's Cullman Center for Scholars and Writers.
Danzy Senna is married to fellow writer Percival Everett and they have a son, Henry together. Their residences have included Los Angeles and New York City.
She attended Stanford University and received an MFA from the University of California at Irvine. There, she received several creative writing awards.
Her debut novel, Caucasia (later republished as From Caucasia With Love), was well received and won several awards including the Book-Of-The-Month Stephen Crane Award for First Fiction, and the Alex Award from the American Library Association.
Her second novel, Symptomatic, was also well received. Both books feature a biracial protagonist and offer a unique view on life from their perspective.
Senna has also contributed to anthologies such as Gumbo.
In 2002, Senna received the Whiting Writers Award and in 2004 was named a Fellow for the New York Public Library's Cullman Center for Scholars and Writers.
Danzy Senna is married to fellow writer Percival Everett and they have a son, Henry together. Their residences have included Los Angeles and New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 92 reviews
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August 3, 2011I'm not sure what I think of "Where Did You Sleep Last Night?" as a book. I'm not even sure it is a book. It's more of a loosely woven tapestry of thoughts, recollections, feelings, musings and theories. Which is fine by me because this is a truly disturbing, interesting, beautiful, ugly American family saga. The likes of which is written about more often than it is examined. Senna does a good job of showing the futility of applying sociological analysis to real-life situations. When I went to see her speak about this book, she told a story of how a reader asked her how she could write such a negative portrayal of a black man. Her response was something along the lines of this is no 'black man." This is my father. This is what really happened. That very powerful, painful truth is what made kept me riveted throughout the book. Definitely worth reading. And discussing.
July 7, 2011
Danzy Senna's books, "Where did you sleep last night? A personal Memoir" has a beautifully woven, beautifully written and deeply emotional prose. I found the writing style entrancing, albeit choppy and all over the place. I felt as if she subjectively trying to look from the outside in. She was trying to put all the pieces of her history together, which shows through the lack of cohesiveness in the narrative. In this book, Senna tries to find, regroup and recount her search for her family's roots. More than a memoir, or a search for her family history (mostly paternal), this was more of a vehicle which made her feel close to her father. She explores and comes to terms with her relationship with her father, which is a troubled one.
It is ironic that she writes about her maternal side of the family: "This side of my family was above all else interested in their own narrative...They were invested in remaining the protagonist of the story." By definition, a memoir, is a book where you narrate your own story.
Danzy Senna is born to writers: Carl Senna, a black southerner with a troubled, mysterious and interesting childhood, whose origins are murky at best; and Fanny Howe, a white Bostonian whose ancestor line is full of writers and historical figures. Her parents divorced while she was still young and she narrates her troubled and disappointing relationship with her father. This book shows the childhood anger and resentment she still seems to foster toward her father. Yet, she clings to his roots as more than an integral part of her own identity, as well as her memories of their shared experiences (whether happy or disappointing memories).
She writes of her father, perhaps mirroring her own feelings about herself, "Every descriptive statement you could make about my father could be contradicted by the sentence that followed. He was half of everything and half of nothing." She searches fervently for her father's roots and retells her experiences through her expedition all over the south with great and telling emotion. It is as if she is finding a missing part herself.
Her maternal history is full of literary and history figures, it is a rich history indeed. Yet, she drily describes that she went to a public library to do research about her maternal side of the family. There is very little emotion, chapters involving her maternal side of the family are written in a prose that is observational and detached. She writes about her mother that:
"She was a Bostonian...She was a blue-blooded white Anglo-Saxon Protestant whose roots on one side linked her to the founders of this country, and on the other side to the most elite of the Anglo-Irish literary establishment. She had an identity so solid and so gilded that she was able to discard it, stomp on it, and endlessly make fun of it-and finally to renounce it in her marriage to my father."
This is a telling paragraph, I believe, because it presents us with a side of Senna where she is proud, yet tired of this heritage. Throughout the book she seems to yearns for a deeper connection to her father's roots, whose she seems prove to be a critical part of her own identity. It could have been more cohesive, but it was enjoyable and easy to read.
Frankly, I am surprised that this book is dedicated to Percival, her husband, when it is clearly a book written to explore her relationship with her father and her paternal roots. This is a great book. It is choppy and all over the place: the telling signs of a book that was difficult to write and experience. It could have been more cohesive, but it was still enjoyable and easy to read.
It is ironic that she writes about her maternal side of the family: "This side of my family was above all else interested in their own narrative...They were invested in remaining the protagonist of the story." By definition, a memoir, is a book where you narrate your own story.
Danzy Senna is born to writers: Carl Senna, a black southerner with a troubled, mysterious and interesting childhood, whose origins are murky at best; and Fanny Howe, a white Bostonian whose ancestor line is full of writers and historical figures. Her parents divorced while she was still young and she narrates her troubled and disappointing relationship with her father. This book shows the childhood anger and resentment she still seems to foster toward her father. Yet, she clings to his roots as more than an integral part of her own identity, as well as her memories of their shared experiences (whether happy or disappointing memories).
She writes of her father, perhaps mirroring her own feelings about herself, "Every descriptive statement you could make about my father could be contradicted by the sentence that followed. He was half of everything and half of nothing." She searches fervently for her father's roots and retells her experiences through her expedition all over the south with great and telling emotion. It is as if she is finding a missing part herself.
Her maternal history is full of literary and history figures, it is a rich history indeed. Yet, she drily describes that she went to a public library to do research about her maternal side of the family. There is very little emotion, chapters involving her maternal side of the family are written in a prose that is observational and detached. She writes about her mother that:
"She was a Bostonian...She was a blue-blooded white Anglo-Saxon Protestant whose roots on one side linked her to the founders of this country, and on the other side to the most elite of the Anglo-Irish literary establishment. She had an identity so solid and so gilded that she was able to discard it, stomp on it, and endlessly make fun of it-and finally to renounce it in her marriage to my father."
This is a telling paragraph, I believe, because it presents us with a side of Senna where she is proud, yet tired of this heritage. Throughout the book she seems to yearns for a deeper connection to her father's roots, whose she seems prove to be a critical part of her own identity. It could have been more cohesive, but it was enjoyable and easy to read.
Frankly, I am surprised that this book is dedicated to Percival, her husband, when it is clearly a book written to explore her relationship with her father and her paternal roots. This is a great book. It is choppy and all over the place: the telling signs of a book that was difficult to write and experience. It could have been more cohesive, but it was still enjoyable and easy to read.
February 8, 2024
a thoughtful look at family, identity, and the stories we tell about ourselves and others. didn't love this one quite as much i loved caucasia, but it was still a solid read and interesting to see how she drew from her own upbringing in her fiction
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April 14, 2021as i have famously said 8 million times before it takes me forever to read non fic, but i liked this book - it was slow at times to me, however Senna does an amazing job parsing her father’s past and trying to relate it to her childhood and their current relationship - a painful, real portrayal of how race and history effect a family
June 17, 2009
Read this in one gulp this weekend after hearing DS read from it at the Mixed Roots Literary & Film Festival in LA. She was hilariously funny and the writing is SO GOOD. I love stories about secrets, uncovering hidden pasts, etc so this was right up my alley.
Interesting to read an article when I returned about her father and sister suing her for what she wrote. It doesn't change my opinion of the book but it did make me think, about the repercussions of memoir writing, etc.
Interesting to read an article when I returned about her father and sister suing her for what she wrote. It doesn't change my opinion of the book but it did make me think, about the repercussions of memoir writing, etc.
December 17, 2011
In one sense, reading memoirs is a bit like peaking through the curtains into someone's home under a shroud of darkness. In another sense, memoirs offer insight into how others deal with challenges that everyone invariably experiences in one way or another within our own families. This deeply personal story is the author's attempt to come to terms with her own history, which is, by extension, deeply connected to American history. The issue of "race" is complexly woven into the fabric of both.
I found Where Did You Sleep Last Night well-written, enlightening and disturbing. The marriage of her parents brought together a mother (poet/novelist Fanny Quincy Howe) who is the descendant of New England's elite, and whose wealth has its roots in American slave-trading, and a father (author/editor Carl Senna) who is the mixed-race son of an African American mother and an unknown father who may have been a Mexican boxer. She grew up surrounded by Boston privilege. He grew up in poverty in the South. Their marriage held the promise of overcoming history. It's ugly disintegration eight years later left trauma in its wake.
Danzy Senna weaves a compelling tale; one that is always engaging. It is also controversial. Her sister, Lucien Quincy Senna, claims that "this account of her family smacks less of history than character assassination of her father" and posted a press statement about the defamation lawsuit that Carl Senna filed against Danzy Senna and her publisher on her blog in January 2011.
One of the tragedies of so many fractured families is that each member has a story that she or he stands fully behind as "the truth" no matter that others from the same family have diametrically opposite versions of the same story. I doubt whether there is one "truth" in such Rashoman-like situations; only deep wounds that remain unhealed (much like our unhealed American wounds).
I must also disclose that in addition to my interest in memoirs, and that my own first book fits largely into that category, my interest in this book also springs from the fact that I am distantly related to Danzy Senna through her mother. Though I've never met either of them, we are related to the same slave-trading dynasty I wrote about in Inheriting the Trade . I met Danzy's father Carl during the first week of filming the documentary Traces of the Trade in Bristol, Rhode Island in late June, 2001.
I have no first-hand knowledge with which to measure the veracity of Danzy Senna's story or of her sister's and father's objections to it. When I finished the book I was left with feelings of sadness at the brokenness that each member of their family must surely feel. I was also left with feelings of hope - at least for one member of this family - in connection with Danzy's commitment to confront her pain through writing this book, and building a family of her own. Ultimately, it is this latter feeling that rises up at the conclusion of Danzy's memoir, and, I believe, offers hope for the future healing of our nation.
Make no mistake. This story is a tragedy. Do her family members each have a chance at healing? Does our nation? God, I hope so.
I found Where Did You Sleep Last Night well-written, enlightening and disturbing. The marriage of her parents brought together a mother (poet/novelist Fanny Quincy Howe) who is the descendant of New England's elite, and whose wealth has its roots in American slave-trading, and a father (author/editor Carl Senna) who is the mixed-race son of an African American mother and an unknown father who may have been a Mexican boxer. She grew up surrounded by Boston privilege. He grew up in poverty in the South. Their marriage held the promise of overcoming history. It's ugly disintegration eight years later left trauma in its wake.
Danzy Senna weaves a compelling tale; one that is always engaging. It is also controversial. Her sister, Lucien Quincy Senna, claims that "this account of her family smacks less of history than character assassination of her father" and posted a press statement about the defamation lawsuit that Carl Senna filed against Danzy Senna and her publisher on her blog in January 2011.
One of the tragedies of so many fractured families is that each member has a story that she or he stands fully behind as "the truth" no matter that others from the same family have diametrically opposite versions of the same story. I doubt whether there is one "truth" in such Rashoman-like situations; only deep wounds that remain unhealed (much like our unhealed American wounds).
I must also disclose that in addition to my interest in memoirs, and that my own first book fits largely into that category, my interest in this book also springs from the fact that I am distantly related to Danzy Senna through her mother. Though I've never met either of them, we are related to the same slave-trading dynasty I wrote about in Inheriting the Trade . I met Danzy's father Carl during the first week of filming the documentary Traces of the Trade in Bristol, Rhode Island in late June, 2001.
I have no first-hand knowledge with which to measure the veracity of Danzy Senna's story or of her sister's and father's objections to it. When I finished the book I was left with feelings of sadness at the brokenness that each member of their family must surely feel. I was also left with feelings of hope - at least for one member of this family - in connection with Danzy's commitment to confront her pain through writing this book, and building a family of her own. Ultimately, it is this latter feeling that rises up at the conclusion of Danzy's memoir, and, I believe, offers hope for the future healing of our nation.
Make no mistake. This story is a tragedy. Do her family members each have a chance at healing? Does our nation? God, I hope so.
Read
September 9, 2022I devoured this. Senna has a strength for an associative story-telling that loses none of the immediacy and momentum of scene-based "and then" plotting. This and New People put me in a similar mind-state. Impressed by, among other things, the efficient effective characterization of secondary characters.
January 21, 2025
I read this because I became interested in Percival Everett. The writing is engaging; I read it from start to finish in a couple of hours. Very interesting and looking forward to reading more of her work.
November 2, 2023
Note to author at the end, in the event she reads this.
This book is a memoir.
Amazing, intuitive writer. If someone wanted to improve their craft of writing or get lost in a good piece - I highly recommend Danzy Senna. She's honest to the point she seems cold at times - like all humans can be but are afraid to admit, only highlighting the moments and feelings that show them shining like a hero.
I respect her determination in life even beyond her search for her family history. I will save this book or at least recommend it to my 7 yr old niece when she grows up in the event she's twisted between her Sicilian American and Jamaican sides. She will read this and in comparison appreciate how easy her journey was and how loved and fulfilled she was by both sides of her families, even if it wasn't always roses.
I grew up in such a mixed community . In high school I was one of the few white girls and I dated outside my race so I experienced racism and the absence of it from a different perspective.
If you're interested in reading about the differences between black and white cultures as one, from a mixed girls eyes, it's interesting. I find it interesting either way. She composes it like an orchestra. Much love!
The reason why I didn't give it five stars is, from a reader's perspective, it's more factual than edge of your seat taunting but still very interesting. She doesn't leave you on a cliff waiting for the outcome and that was intentional so it's not a lack of talent. But I just wanted to give it an honest rating with that in mind for those that are looking for that kind of story. Her talent is definitely top scale. If the climaxes lasted a little longer or were built into the stories it may have gotten a five. But a four in my book is pretty close.
Although I'm going to contradict myself by saying I appreciated that I didn't have to wait for the outcomes because I was reading more for knowledge and understanding.
Danzy,
This is just a word of invasive advice from a stranger that means well. I hope to be able to help in the healing of your resentment for your father with my words. I promise I have good intentions and no evilness in it. I just hope that it can reach you. Or maybe my words will at least touch someone else.
I know you wish for your father to provide you with answers and apologies on account of your childhood but given how he has grown up - I'm sure that he sees that "just being there" counts for a lot. Your father didn't desert you totally although he was deserted and he was there, existing, for your childhood. From his perspective I can only imagine that he gave all or more than he could muster.
Also if it helps, think about the fact that he was able to forgive his mother after she gave him up and denied him the full knowledge he seeked about his true father. Only supplied a picture with no information withholding his siblings from the real truth. He even forgave the fact that she wasn't around for his childhood. I just hope that you don't realize things when it's too late and you have no other alternatives.
Your grandmother too was an orphan so I'm not trying to put the blame on her but it's just a vicious cycle that you seem strong enough to break. Hopefully you can find some strength in your heart to forgive him as well. Would you be more forgiving if he was a mystery that ran out on you and your siblings? He didn't feel that way was right so hopefully you give him some credit. Our nation has grown as well .. became better. Back in those days it was actually legal, not right, but legal to beat your wife so the perspective on everything was just different.
That doesn't excuse your father from doing so but I'm sure he wasn't happy about having it out in public. I'm sure he has some animosity himself so hopefully you both can talk about everything and clear up your misunderstandings while you have him here. I hope I'm not out of line. I truly believe that you would respect my opinion / advice because you're such a perceptive person that's always thinking about how others view you and your family from the outside. I hope this doesn't offend you. I truly just wanted you to hear the outside perspective from somebody that wasn't so close to it that wasn't able to see those things.
Keep up your amazing work. Thank you. ❤
This book is a memoir.
Amazing, intuitive writer. If someone wanted to improve their craft of writing or get lost in a good piece - I highly recommend Danzy Senna. She's honest to the point she seems cold at times - like all humans can be but are afraid to admit, only highlighting the moments and feelings that show them shining like a hero.
I respect her determination in life even beyond her search for her family history. I will save this book or at least recommend it to my 7 yr old niece when she grows up in the event she's twisted between her Sicilian American and Jamaican sides. She will read this and in comparison appreciate how easy her journey was and how loved and fulfilled she was by both sides of her families, even if it wasn't always roses.
I grew up in such a mixed community . In high school I was one of the few white girls and I dated outside my race so I experienced racism and the absence of it from a different perspective.
If you're interested in reading about the differences between black and white cultures as one, from a mixed girls eyes, it's interesting. I find it interesting either way. She composes it like an orchestra. Much love!
The reason why I didn't give it five stars is, from a reader's perspective, it's more factual than edge of your seat taunting but still very interesting. She doesn't leave you on a cliff waiting for the outcome and that was intentional so it's not a lack of talent. But I just wanted to give it an honest rating with that in mind for those that are looking for that kind of story. Her talent is definitely top scale. If the climaxes lasted a little longer or were built into the stories it may have gotten a five. But a four in my book is pretty close.
Although I'm going to contradict myself by saying I appreciated that I didn't have to wait for the outcomes because I was reading more for knowledge and understanding.
Danzy,
This is just a word of invasive advice from a stranger that means well. I hope to be able to help in the healing of your resentment for your father with my words. I promise I have good intentions and no evilness in it. I just hope that it can reach you. Or maybe my words will at least touch someone else.
I know you wish for your father to provide you with answers and apologies on account of your childhood but given how he has grown up - I'm sure that he sees that "just being there" counts for a lot. Your father didn't desert you totally although he was deserted and he was there, existing, for your childhood. From his perspective I can only imagine that he gave all or more than he could muster.
Also if it helps, think about the fact that he was able to forgive his mother after she gave him up and denied him the full knowledge he seeked about his true father. Only supplied a picture with no information withholding his siblings from the real truth. He even forgave the fact that she wasn't around for his childhood. I just hope that you don't realize things when it's too late and you have no other alternatives.
Your grandmother too was an orphan so I'm not trying to put the blame on her but it's just a vicious cycle that you seem strong enough to break. Hopefully you can find some strength in your heart to forgive him as well. Would you be more forgiving if he was a mystery that ran out on you and your siblings? He didn't feel that way was right so hopefully you give him some credit. Our nation has grown as well .. became better. Back in those days it was actually legal, not right, but legal to beat your wife so the perspective on everything was just different.
That doesn't excuse your father from doing so but I'm sure he wasn't happy about having it out in public. I'm sure he has some animosity himself so hopefully you both can talk about everything and clear up your misunderstandings while you have him here. I hope I'm not out of line. I truly believe that you would respect my opinion / advice because you're such a perceptive person that's always thinking about how others view you and your family from the outside. I hope this doesn't offend you. I truly just wanted you to hear the outside perspective from somebody that wasn't so close to it that wasn't able to see those things.
Keep up your amazing work. Thank you. ❤
December 15, 2016
In this compelling memoir, Danzy Senna recounts her parents' troubled marriage - her mother, a blue-blooded white Bostonian tracing her lineage back to the Mayflower and her father, a gifted black intellectual who came from, seemingly, nowhere. Senna speaks of the promise her parents' union represented - that of a future post-racial America - and its reality: her father's alcoholism, abusive behaviour, failure to provide any kind of support (including the financial), rejection, and plain old unreliability. Senna's disappointment and empathy towards her father make this memoir the compelling, brilliant and compassionate read it is, with her deciding fairly early on that her mother's ancestral history is so known it functions better as a foil against her father's family history: lost, like that of so many other black families whose lives have never been deemed worthy of historical record, to the mists of time and family hearsay. Senna also writes about what it's like to know that black families have never been a given or whole construct, have been brutalised for centuries, are as they exist the direct product of a legacy of slavery and forced separation, and juxtaposes that against how it feels to have a deadbeat black dad who knows all this, too, and throws it back in your face when you're trying to bring him to account for his horrible behaviour.
The story of Senna's search for her father's family and the truth of his ancestral history unfolds not unlike a mystery, with red herrings, revelations, and twists aplenty. Senna brings plenty of her own smart observations to the fore, which by the end of the book you come to understand as a function of her subject position within America's racial hierarchy and as the child of ugly divorce - observant, wise, with a cynical twist in her eyes:
If there was one thing I would take away from this memoir, it's this perfect insight, this wonderfully crafted line:
Should be required reading for high schoolers.
The story of Senna's search for her father's family and the truth of his ancestral history unfolds not unlike a mystery, with red herrings, revelations, and twists aplenty. Senna brings plenty of her own smart observations to the fore, which by the end of the book you come to understand as a function of her subject position within America's racial hierarchy and as the child of ugly divorce - observant, wise, with a cynical twist in her eyes:
Not long ago I met a woman, a poet and a scholar, about the same age as my mother. She recalled meeting my newly wed parents in the late sixties at a dinner party in Cambridge. She told me her impressions of them: they were radical, and looked down on the other dinner guests, who were not radical enough. And this too: "It was obvious they adored each other."
If there was one thing I would take away from this memoir, it's this perfect insight, this wonderfully crafted line:
We learn in school that the civil rights movement was about overcoming segregation. But as my father has pointed out to me, what an oddly neutral word - segregation to describe what was happening in this country. We prefer it to more blunt descriptions of that social arrangement: subjugation, oppression. And perhaps, also, we don't want to acknowledge the ways in which we were not segregated at all, the ways in which the lives of black and white people have always been intertwined at the most intimate level. Slavery was intimate. Oppression is so often an act of intimacy.
Should be required reading for high schoolers.
July 24, 2011
A great story of discovery of the author's paternal roots with her father in tow through the poor sections of South.
It struck me very personally as I'm in a similar quandary: much is known (even cherished) about my Mother's side of the family but I know very little of my Father's family history.
As Ms. Senna digs deeper and deeper, she uncovers a startlingly different history of what her family really knows about her father, his relatives and her father's and his parent's hidden past "re-written" to be socially acceptable.
She tackles the challenge of overcoming hatred of her father (due to the claimed "ugliest divorce in Boston's history") and rediscovers love and appreciation of him.
In this work, she offers a stunningly rendered personal heritage that mirrors the complexities of race, class, and ethnicity in the U.S.
It struck me very personally as I'm in a similar quandary: much is known (even cherished) about my Mother's side of the family but I know very little of my Father's family history.
As Ms. Senna digs deeper and deeper, she uncovers a startlingly different history of what her family really knows about her father, his relatives and her father's and his parent's hidden past "re-written" to be socially acceptable.
She tackles the challenge of overcoming hatred of her father (due to the claimed "ugliest divorce in Boston's history") and rediscovers love and appreciation of him.
In this work, she offers a stunningly rendered personal heritage that mirrors the complexities of race, class, and ethnicity in the U.S.
February 5, 2010
This memoir succeeds because of all of the rich details that Senna provides about her terse relationship with her father, and her family. She weaves these details in and out of her search of her familial history, and as a result, I was wholly involved in the narrative. I wanted to find the answers just as she did. I agree with other reviewers that there is a "detective" type element to the work. By the end, I also wanted to embark on a similar journey to uncover the unsaid and hidden parts of my ancestry and family. This book kept me thinking and pondering long after I read it. An awesome read for those interested in the intersection of personal, racial, and familial identity formation and discovery.
January 17, 2011
Danzy Senna is being touted as the belles lettres of the mulatto nation. She is currently being sued for libel by her father for the lies and the defamation within this book. It is a hatchet job against a man who suffered his entire life. Her mother's background and life except for her white privelege is a mystery. She lumps all her family members into groups. It is an infantile character assassination and I do not understand its appeal at all except to people who are obsessed with the United States' racial past. She does not look black and therefore has never experienced the discrimination of those of us who do. She should be ashamed of herself. Her father is retired and she wants this to be the way that he ends his days when he has many publications to his credit. Shame on her.
January 18, 2018
Interesting, and often difficult (lots of abuse and neglect) read but I didn't care for the writing style at all. It was often hard to follow the story that was being told and seemed to jump all over the place then randomly pick up a thread from earlier in the book and hobble on. It often seems like a long rant about her father and the tumultuous relationship between him and just about every other person in his life. I did enjoy being on the journey with the author when investigating her family, and wished the book was a bit more put together like in that part of the story. It read like a bunch of post its and journal entries put together quickly to meet a deadline. I would definitely have given more stars otherwise.
June 28, 2009
I think I picked up & put this book back on the shelf 3 times before I checked it out from the library - and I'm glad I finally decided to go with it. Most likely because it has a Boston connection & I loved living there.
It's a quick read (less than a day) but there's a quote somewhere about all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way (Tolstoy, maybe?) and this book gives me inside into the own dysfunction I grew up with.
I find it interesting to see how others process their experiences and develop understanding from what they live through. Although our experiences are quite different, I could also relate to the similarities.
It's a quick read (less than a day) but there's a quote somewhere about all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way (Tolstoy, maybe?) and this book gives me inside into the own dysfunction I grew up with.
I find it interesting to see how others process their experiences and develop understanding from what they live through. Although our experiences are quite different, I could also relate to the similarities.
April 8, 2019
Danzy Senna's "Where Did You Sleep Last Night?" uses the personal memoir as a vehicle for mediating on race beyond binaries in America. Senna's family history stemming from both master and slave, oppressor and oppressed would be rich and fascinating on its own as mere narrative, but her commitment to looking beyond structure, to the nuances of what identity can mean because of and in spite of racial identification, is not only admirable, but far ahead of the curve when it comes to the way we talk about racial mixing.
October 5, 2019
"On my walk home that day, I saw the strangest thing: a giant beehive, the size of a bed pillow, had formed in the corner of a scaffolding, where hundreds of bees buzzed around it. A homeless woman high on drugs stood a few feet away pointing at it and shaking her head, saying, “That shit is crazy,” over and over again. And indeed it did seem crazy that on the edges of skid row a hive would form, nature’s symbol of industry and resourcefulness thriving in the urban ruin where no blossoms could be found, nothing could pollinate."
August 6, 2009
This book was too moving for me to easily sum up the experience of reading it, especially after having read the fictionalized version of her story in Caucasia. Deeply moving and thoughtfully written.
June 19, 2011
Gripping and sometimes painful exploration of how to be an adult when you have a complicated childhood. Senna's honesty and clarity are enviable and inspiring.
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March 15, 2025I had adopted my father’s way of thinking—to read everyone as a representative of a group, as proof of their group characteristics, rather than seeing this couple as two individuals who had somehow, through luck and through will, pulled off a successful marriage, no mean feat for anybody in their generation, regardless of race. Instead I wanted to be able to categorize them, to analyze them using the tools of race and sociology.
Years later I tried to leave the country. I lived in London, where my friends were black people from around the world. I remember noticing that they lacked the black American bitterness—and more importantly, that quintessentially American obsession with race. They told me they didn’t understand why we—black Americans—were so hung up on it, why we saw it everywhere, in everything. They were right: like those religious fanatics who see Jesus’ face in clouds and window fog and rock formations, we did see it everywhere. I remember feeling so lonely in the presence of these seemingly enlightened, unfettered foreign black people, and realizing that at the end of the day I felt at home only in the prison of America. Only there did I make sense.
He said the idea of family he grew up with was more fluid than it was in the white world. Black Americans—in the midst of Jim Crow, on the heels of slavery, where family units were decimated by that so-called benevolent patriarchy—had to invent a more creative definition of family. Segregation, the American racial caste system, set black people up to consider one another “brothers and sisters” whether or not theirs was a truly biological relation.
My father, in one of our many recent conversations about his childhood, told me that he thought the biggest casualty of slavery was the black family. He said the violence against that institution created damage the effects of which have persisted long after slavery was eradicated. “But the saving grace was the way people turned to each other electively,” my father told me over the phone one night. “They embraced each other despite the proof of blood linkage. We were denied what white families had, the dignity of knowing our antecedents, of knowing who our mother and father were, so it was love that brought us together in the end and made us hold on to one another.”
There is a true story about my father and me that I’ve been trying to turn into fiction for years. I’ve written drafts of short stories that are versions of this tale, but hard as I try, I am never satisfied with the results. Perhaps I am too attached to the real story, unwilling to depart from the truth of what happened in order to turn it into satisfying fiction. Perhaps I am too afraid of transforming the details, somehow resistant to getting that necessary distance, afraid the real will be swallowed into the imagined. Or perhaps it is because what I am remembering is already fiction, the way all memories become fiction over time.
People see my baby, and in the face of his racial ambiguity their own past hurts, desires, fears, and fantasies rise to the surface. He—the baby—becomes the Rorschach inkblot upon which all of their own projections come to the surface.
They supplied us with a language for what we were before we could talk, so we had no hope of defining ourselves outside such definitions, no hope of feeling free of such a world of labels. We were there for the world’s taking.
We learn in school that the civil rights movement was about overcoming segregation. But as my father has pointed out to me, what an oddly neutral word—segregation—to describe what was happening in this country. We prefer it to more blunt descriptions of that social arrangement: subjugation, oppression. And perhaps, also, we don’t want to acknowledge the ways in which we were not segregated at all, the ways in which the lives of black and white people have always been intertwined at the most intimate level. Slavery was intimate. Oppression is so often an act of intimacy.
Years later I tried to leave the country. I lived in London, where my friends were black people from around the world. I remember noticing that they lacked the black American bitterness—and more importantly, that quintessentially American obsession with race. They told me they didn’t understand why we—black Americans—were so hung up on it, why we saw it everywhere, in everything. They were right: like those religious fanatics who see Jesus’ face in clouds and window fog and rock formations, we did see it everywhere. I remember feeling so lonely in the presence of these seemingly enlightened, unfettered foreign black people, and realizing that at the end of the day I felt at home only in the prison of America. Only there did I make sense.
He said the idea of family he grew up with was more fluid than it was in the white world. Black Americans—in the midst of Jim Crow, on the heels of slavery, where family units were decimated by that so-called benevolent patriarchy—had to invent a more creative definition of family. Segregation, the American racial caste system, set black people up to consider one another “brothers and sisters” whether or not theirs was a truly biological relation.
My father, in one of our many recent conversations about his childhood, told me that he thought the biggest casualty of slavery was the black family. He said the violence against that institution created damage the effects of which have persisted long after slavery was eradicated. “But the saving grace was the way people turned to each other electively,” my father told me over the phone one night. “They embraced each other despite the proof of blood linkage. We were denied what white families had, the dignity of knowing our antecedents, of knowing who our mother and father were, so it was love that brought us together in the end and made us hold on to one another.”
There is a true story about my father and me that I’ve been trying to turn into fiction for years. I’ve written drafts of short stories that are versions of this tale, but hard as I try, I am never satisfied with the results. Perhaps I am too attached to the real story, unwilling to depart from the truth of what happened in order to turn it into satisfying fiction. Perhaps I am too afraid of transforming the details, somehow resistant to getting that necessary distance, afraid the real will be swallowed into the imagined. Or perhaps it is because what I am remembering is already fiction, the way all memories become fiction over time.
People see my baby, and in the face of his racial ambiguity their own past hurts, desires, fears, and fantasies rise to the surface. He—the baby—becomes the Rorschach inkblot upon which all of their own projections come to the surface.
They supplied us with a language for what we were before we could talk, so we had no hope of defining ourselves outside such definitions, no hope of feeling free of such a world of labels. We were there for the world’s taking.
We learn in school that the civil rights movement was about overcoming segregation. But as my father has pointed out to me, what an oddly neutral word—segregation—to describe what was happening in this country. We prefer it to more blunt descriptions of that social arrangement: subjugation, oppression. And perhaps, also, we don’t want to acknowledge the ways in which we were not segregated at all, the ways in which the lives of black and white people have always been intertwined at the most intimate level. Slavery was intimate. Oppression is so often an act of intimacy.
April 28, 2018
I am reading all of the published work by this author in order of publication date. I’m surprised that she is not more popular given her concept of multiracialism and her employee of the concept, “new people” which also serves as the title for Senna’s most recent work.
This autobiography unfolds mostly on a journey which Senna travels with her father to the many homes of his prior origin. The journey is bracketed between Senna moving her life to a committed relationship on the front end and the birth of her first child, a son on the back end.
During the narrative Senna carefully unfolds details of her father’s scattered origin revealing some surprises which might raise a devoted parishioners’ brow as she unearth’s unfortunate secrets protected by the Catholic Church. As she defines her paternal racial origin she lightly catalogues her maternal history deeply entrenched in old New England landed gentry. Senna was honest in her Caucasian side’s relationship to the slave trade and/or Jim Crow but it reads as mention and not detailed generational influences.
Senna admits to maternal biases in her rediscovery of her family and it’s impact upon her. Her eyes are clear and her heart reads as guided as she ushers a new life into racial binary world as being white and other. She takes us to her her holiday table jam packed with too many family members from multicultural walks of life and walking into new ones. We see her growth and witness the beginning of her peace.
This autobiography unfolds mostly on a journey which Senna travels with her father to the many homes of his prior origin. The journey is bracketed between Senna moving her life to a committed relationship on the front end and the birth of her first child, a son on the back end.
During the narrative Senna carefully unfolds details of her father’s scattered origin revealing some surprises which might raise a devoted parishioners’ brow as she unearth’s unfortunate secrets protected by the Catholic Church. As she defines her paternal racial origin she lightly catalogues her maternal history deeply entrenched in old New England landed gentry. Senna was honest in her Caucasian side’s relationship to the slave trade and/or Jim Crow but it reads as mention and not detailed generational influences.
Senna admits to maternal biases in her rediscovery of her family and it’s impact upon her. Her eyes are clear and her heart reads as guided as she ushers a new life into racial binary world as being white and other. She takes us to her her holiday table jam packed with too many family members from multicultural walks of life and walking into new ones. We see her growth and witness the beginning of her peace.
September 7, 2024
From Booklist
*Starred Review* When her parents married in 1968, they merged two complicated strains of American heritage: Boston blue blood traceable to the Mayflower and Southern African American with a cross strain of Mexican–Native American. Senna recalls growing up in a violent home until her parents divorced and she and her siblings were jockied between households, listening to complaints about the worst in each parent. She sided with her mother and found severe fault in her father’s alcoholism and neglect, while listening to his diatribes about race. As an adult, looking more white than black, she wrestled with her own complex feelings about race until she felt the need to critically examine the histories of both sides of her family. Traveling south with her father, Senna untangles long-held secrets—the brief orphanage of her father and his siblings, the complicated compromises made by her black grandmother, an accomplished musician forced to live a humble life. On her mother’s side, she found old wealth, some of it secured from slave trading, whittled down to more modest gentility but continued privilege. Starting her own family, Senna tackled the challenge of overcoming hatred of her father and an acceptance and appreciation of what he had given her. Senna, author of Caucasia and Symptomatic, offers a stunningly rendered personal heritage that mirrors the complexities of race, class, and ethnicity in the U.S. --Vanessa Bush
*Starred Review* When her parents married in 1968, they merged two complicated strains of American heritage: Boston blue blood traceable to the Mayflower and Southern African American with a cross strain of Mexican–Native American. Senna recalls growing up in a violent home until her parents divorced and she and her siblings were jockied between households, listening to complaints about the worst in each parent. She sided with her mother and found severe fault in her father’s alcoholism and neglect, while listening to his diatribes about race. As an adult, looking more white than black, she wrestled with her own complex feelings about race until she felt the need to critically examine the histories of both sides of her family. Traveling south with her father, Senna untangles long-held secrets—the brief orphanage of her father and his siblings, the complicated compromises made by her black grandmother, an accomplished musician forced to live a humble life. On her mother’s side, she found old wealth, some of it secured from slave trading, whittled down to more modest gentility but continued privilege. Starting her own family, Senna tackled the challenge of overcoming hatred of her father and an acceptance and appreciation of what he had given her. Senna, author of Caucasia and Symptomatic, offers a stunningly rendered personal heritage that mirrors the complexities of race, class, and ethnicity in the U.S. --Vanessa Bush
September 6, 2024
My daughter, an adult with children of her own, recently acquired a T-shirt that says “you exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.“ Many of us, for many reasons, do not know the context of those who came before us. I was adopted directly following my birth and not until my 50s had the good fortune to finally meet my extended biological family. At least in part because of my own search for personal history, I was deeply touched by Senna’s willingness to tell of hers and of what a messy, complicated, incredible, confusing, and wondrous search that can be. I have two amazing “mixed-race“ granddaughters, who I expect will grow into equally amazing women, and I hope the paths of their lives are less fraught in the 21st-century than they would have been in earlier centuries. And in many ways, I find myself sandwiched between my adoptive & biological parents & ancestors and my own children & grandchildren. Like Senna’s parents, as an adult I drug my children through divorces and marriages, and times of near-poverty and near-success, and family trees that look like an untended tangled garden. Senna’s “personal history” hit me hard in all of my tenderest spots.
January 19, 2025
This was an interesting book and I think not in a way that the author meant it to be. Have you ever been talking with a friend, especially late at night, and especially after a glass or two of wine, and they finally start telling you their history? It's rambling and disjointed and goes on lots of rabbit trails and your friend will start to tell you one part and then realize they have to tell you a whole different part before they can get to the meat of the original part. This book felt like that. It bounces all around (not in a bad way) and tells the story of her father in a deeply intimate and personal sort of way. I do think that it is a little misleading, it is definitely not about the parents marriage, but about Danzy coming to terms with who her father is and why he is the way he is. It was a very interesting read, and I'm glad that I read it, however it was definitely not what I thought it was going to be about.
January 22, 2025
I was curious about why this book identified itself as a personal history and how that differed from memoir. Listening to this book made me understand. Senna grew up struck by the difference between how much information was available from her mother's (white) family history, as opposed to the extremely limited and unclear knowledge she had from her father's (Black-and-Latinex) family history. While we do get plenty of anecdotes about what each of her parents brings to her life, I would say her dive into discovering what she could about her ancestry on her father's side of the family is perhaps given the most space. I listened to this book and found it very interesting and engaging. One thing I listened carefully for but never figured out is how the title relates to the story. If anyone I know reads or listens to this book and figures it out, please let me know!
April 11, 2025
I just discovered Denzy Senna and found her lineage fascinating. This books reads like a detective page turner as Denzy steadfastly pursues the unknown history of her Black father who is married to her heavily documented DAR(daughters of the American Revolution), Brahmin, John Quincy relayed, blue blood Bostonian mother. I loved this story that crosses through so much of my life time and comments on the myriad messiness of race, identity, and family. Written in 2009, it challenges and dissects identify politics, but never uses that term.
Senna crafts the book with beautiful writing and the perfect amount of suspense. She gifts us with her raw honesty of growing up in a mixed race family with a divorced, brilliant, and abusive father.
I just read her book Caucasia and plan to read all of her books.
Senna crafts the book with beautiful writing and the perfect amount of suspense. She gifts us with her raw honesty of growing up in a mixed race family with a divorced, brilliant, and abusive father.
I just read her book Caucasia and plan to read all of her books.
August 27, 2017
Interesting memoir. Author was daughter of a white aristocracy mother and a mixed-race father who faced poverty. They were both highly intelligent and had 3 children together before divorcing. So the kids went back and forth, facing different experiences in their growing up years. The author had mixed feelings about each parent but especially with her father. She does a lot of genealogy, meeting various family members she didn't know existed. Her dad had quite an upbringing with a lot of stories about his mother and father - who they were, where they came from. She does a good job writing. Both her mother and father wrote, too, with various degrees of success. Like every other family, there are a lot of ups and downs, but, basically, she comes to terms with it all.
January 23, 2025
I read this in two days. I'm hoping my cousin reads it so we can discuss it. Her writing is top shelf, pulls you in and makes you forget dishes, eating, to brush your teeth. I did just brush my teeth and I'm here. It's a brave memoir and it's deep and thorough and it took a hell of a lot of energy and time and stamina to bring it to it's form. It's about self-identity, who are we, where do we come from, who are we made of? It's about relationships and choices and self-preservation and a deep quest to understand her parent's histories. I'd not heard of this author before. Three cheers for libraries, three big cheers for libraries.
Happy New Year (belatedly) and happy page turning and all the good wishes,
Pam/Fishgirl
Happy New Year (belatedly) and happy page turning and all the good wishes,
Pam/Fishgirl
May 31, 2025
I’m not sure how you assign a rating to someone’s memoir but I found this one magnificent. It reads like a work of fiction and the writing is impeccable. I decided to read it after finishing two of Senna’s novels and desiring to know more about her as a person. Reading this directly after Caucasia and seeing how much of Senna’s personal experience she put into the novel was very satisfying. After reading this I find myself thinking of my own ancestry, the two worlds that collided to create my own life. What a gift this was to bear witness to.
October 10, 2017
Engaging and very sad. Senna has so many important things to say about race. Most importantly, she shares what it's like to grow up in her unique family, to look white but be black, to have two flawed parents who make a lot of mistakes, to discover what her Dad's history is and in turn her own.
This book is compulsively readable. I was lulled by it and I appreciate it. I am also sad for all the suffering documented in this personal history.
This book is compulsively readable. I was lulled by it and I appreciate it. I am also sad for all the suffering documented in this personal history.
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