The Girl Who Survived Her Mother

by Moshitadi Lehlomela

Moshitadi is a mother wound recovery coach. In The Girl Who Survived Her Mother, she details the years of her torturous relationship with her mother, maps the intergenerational nature of the trauma in her family, and reveals how she was finally able to begin her journey of healing. Today she helps clients around the world face their most shameful question -- how do I love myself when the person who carried me and gave birth to me cannot?

166 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 4, 2023

Reviews

[Mamello · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book written in the perfect season.

There is a shift in the atmosphere, this long neglected/avoided topic is coming to the surface and what a perfect book to add to the conversation and healing. Vulnerable, transparent and authentic. The author is an eloquent storyteller and this is not just about her story but also gems of knowledge about how the Mother wound affects children, their development and how their adult lives are affected along with all other areas of one’s life, specifically the complex relationship between mothers and their daughters.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, I totally relate and it was a great addition to my healing journey.

[Leticia · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a relatable book touching on a subject that’s deemed taboo especially in Africa, however I feel like the author could have gone much deeper in her narration. The emotions feel surface level, some of the concepts she introduced don’t have an end point and I found myself wondering what happened to her younger brother for example. I wish she had explored the broken cycle of motherhood deeper, especially that of her mother and her grandmother. I’m curious to know what shaped their lives and made them that way. She may have touched on it but the reasoning lacked depth.

[Thato Mapule · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amidst much high praise for mother wound related literature (Arundathi Roy’s ‘Mother Mary Comes to Me’) Moshitadi shares a moving account of her mother wound trauma located in South Africa. I have no doubt that the writing of this book was a cathartic experience for her and by sharing it, she acknowledges a painful reality, humanises survivors and offers a path to healing for many. We need more stories like hers that expose and explore mother wounding and parentification in African culture. Easy to read while being emotionally heavy, Moshitadi writes a brave and necessary contribution.

[Júlia Castro · Rating 5 out of 5]

The writing is beautiful, raw and honest in every way, but most of all, it’s brave. If everyone could face their childhood traumas like Moshitadi, the world would be a better place.

“These are the tragic stories of daughters born to mothers who had nothing left to give
because their childhoods took it”

[Shantalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I sense that it was therapeutic for the author to write this book. She clearly had a horrific childhood, and it is good that she has worked through the issues caused by her toxic mother. However, I felt she was influenced too much by the 78 self-help/psychology books she'd read and was regurgitating therapist language and applying it to her own story. There are some interesting insights about growing up in the rural parts of SA and the downsides of 'black tax' but ultimately, it is the author dissecting her own childhood from a therapist's point of view, so it lacks a personal/human touch of sorts.

[Sanelisiwe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I totally related to every chapter of this book! Worth every cent!! Definitely going to read it again.