Until Tender

by Sam Slupski

UNTIL TENDER, the debut poetry collection of Midwest writer Sam Slupski, invites readers to join Sam for supper. Those who delve hungrily into these poems will be met with the acidic difficulty of reflecting on a tumultuous childhood, as well as the sweet buttery balm of a queer adult celebrating the love they have found. This collection of poems, essays, and recipes offers a home-cooked medley of works for any millennial raised on frozen dinners. Slupski has written what they needed to hear--as a child, as an adult, as someone with an empty bowl starving for seconds. Each reader is served a content heart, belly, and spirit, as Slupski abundantly offers nuance to their own narrative--one day, despite the salt we are born from, we can learn to lavishly enjoy good food and better company. Learning to cook is an act of love, and Slupski has copious love to give. "In this spectacular debut, Sam sits joy and grief, nostalgia and the pain of memory, side by side at the dinner table. With a voice as honest as memoir, some poems glow with the warmth of belonging, and others claw out of a story begging to stay in the shadows--but Sam refuses to forget themself, and what a resounding gift this vivid remembering is. This collection is a search party for tenderness. It is a forgiveness song. It is a salve for the wounded child in each of us, and hallelujah for Sam's brave precision. They have written a how-to manual for those of us with a dark inheritance, a lineage of bruises. These poems reframe the self, hold it tight, and show it in the good light. Like a good knife, these poems are sharp with knowing. Sam writes their history, on their terms, from their own recipe."--Desireé Dallagiacomo, author of SINK "Upon reading UNTIL TENDER's epigraph and the first poem alone, I knew I was in for a treat. Reader, this collection and its weighty declarative statements--like 'I am failing to come in contact with myself'--mixed with its milking of a word or phrase for everything it can bring to the surface--like 'I mean I miss the idea of a mother'--is exactly what you need in order to think deeply about what you come from and heal from all that has happened. UNTIL TENDER explores family, mental health, friendship, origin stories, and significant moments in the speaker's life with rich imagery and characterization, the stuff that makes a book both hard to see and hard to put down. It is formally explorative--borrowing from things like recipes, the palinode, and the ode--while also maintaining relatability and humor, referencing evergreen phenomena like CoStar and Carly Rae Jepsen. UNTIL TENDER gave me new language for my own writings & teachings--which is to say it is a book that is sure to awaken something in you."--KB Brookins, author of Freedom House Poetry. LGBTQ+ Studies.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction

58 pages, Paperback

Published August 29, 2023

Reviews

[Maxine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed some of these poems/essays, but as a whole, this collection didn't completely pull me in as I had hoped. I'm still trying to nail down why this is. While I know this book is centered around particular themes (childhood trauma and grief, food as healing, memory, inner child work, reparenting, etc) I felt it to be too repetitive. The essays were my favorite part, so it could be that I prefer Sam's essay writing style and their poetry doesn't do it for me as much (I've enjoyed reading their newsletters)

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

perfect

[Rach · Rating 5 out of 5]

all the stars for Sam's first collection of poems, essays, and recipes. their poems are so powerful and you can feel the hurt, healing, love, and tenderness in their poems. i loved their odes to vegetables, cooking, and nourishment

[Preslie Senatore · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

What a collection. Slupski examines their relationship with cooking and how it compares to the absence of a meaningful relationship between them and their mother/father. I love the way they portrayed cooking as a form of healing an inner child who was always hungry for more, be it food or connection. A couple parts that resonated heavily:

“when I say I miss my mother
I mean I miss the idea of a mother
I miss the mother my friends tell me they have
I miss the mother my mother thinks she was”

“but I do not want to be resilient / I want to be taken care of / I had to learn what care looks like / & most days I want to share the gift that is learning how to love yourself when no one else did properly / most days / I pass down these gifts like an heirloom / but now / I make myself a meal / & grieve”

I have a really tough relationship with my mother and none with my father. I love to cook for so many reasons as does Slupski. “Until Tender” made me feel very seen. Heard. Understood. Like a mess of my own intertwined buried memories and emotions, too hard to sort on my own, were unraveled and laid out for me to examine.

[Allie Marini · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this collection for a lot of reasons. I saw the poet perform their work before I spent time with their poetry on the page -- if ever they visit your area, I cannot recommend it enough to hear the poems in their own voice, as well as the anecdotes about the creative process.

I love that the book isn't strictly poetry -- the inclusion of essays and *recipes* is a really nourishing (pun intended) addition to the poems. It gives you a much deeper understanding of the poet, their work, and how the love language Acts of Service manifests in this collection. You have poems to feed your soul, essays to feed your 'trauma-children', and recipes to feed your literal body. If you feel alone in the world, this book might make you feel less so, because it's rather like a friend visiting to hear you, tell you a story from their own life, and make you a bowl of something delicious.

I'm partial to the poems in praise of veggies, because green things deserve our appreciation.

Thank you Sam, for this book. ❤️ 🥦🥕🫑🧅

[Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel so lucky to have read Sam’s poetry. I loved Until Tender and will be gifting it to friends, which for me is a true sign of an excellent collection.

I loved every bit of Sam’s writing, especially its celebration of learning to nurture oneself, found family, found love. What a lovely meditation and reminder and lesson all in one.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the poems and essays, but it needed better editing at times.