Dogs Never Lie About Love: Why Your Dog Will Always Love You More Than Anyone Else

by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson

How well do you know your dog?

Did you know that dogs have dreams and fears? That they do see colour, that they smell electric storms, and feel scent as an emotion?

Jeffrey Masson takes us into the world of the dog, a world created by a sense of smell one hundred million times more acute than ours, and reintroduces us to man's best friend - loyal, honest, straightforward, spontaneous and almost unbelievably forgiving.

Drawing on observations of his own three dogs, as well as true stories of dogs' friendship, heroism and loyalty, Masson makes us laugh, cry and think again about our canine companions, who, unlike humans, will never lie about love.

Genres: Nonfiction, Animals, Dogs, Nature, Psychology, Science

368 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 12, 1991

About the author

He has written several books books critical of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy and psychiatry as well as books on animals, their emotions and their rights.

He currently lives in New Zealand with his wife, two sons, three cats and three rats.

Reviews

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read other books by Masson and enjoyed them. And I enjoyed this one too, published in 1997. He discusses the emotions of dogs and when the book came out there was a lot of opposition to the idea of animals feeling emotions. I think the idea is much more accepted now (?). For me, nothing very new but I enjoyed the anecdotes related in the book. Masson writes about his experiences with his dogs and also many other stories from other people. He covers the emotions of love ( The Master Emotion of Dogs), loyalty and heroism, gratitude, fear and loneliness, disappointment and others. In one of the most interesting chapters, he compares wolves and dogs. And he tries to answer the question: Why do we cherish dogs? I can't imagine my life without dogs--or a world without our canine companions.

[Stephen Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Someone I talked to recently mentioned that they don't read too many dog books as they all start sounding the same. I agree that books often cover the same themes relating to the great qualities about dogs, but I never get tired of another love song of words in relation to dogs. This book covers the theme of love from dogs so well, I have added it to my shelf for 'best' dog books.

I did like the first half of the book more than the topics in the second half, but it is all good information. I also didn't mind the author plucking choice information from other books and studies to put into this book. There are other what I refer to as 'dog psychology' books I have read that seemed to get bogged down with too much description, but I didn't find that with this book.

As common in my reviews, I would like to share some of my favorite excerpts I found in the book:

'According to Hediger, no other animal stands in such intimate psychological union with us; only the dog seems capable of reading our thoughts and “reacting to our faintest changes of expression or mood.” German dog trainers use the term Gefühlsinn (a feeling for feelings) to talk about the fact that a dog can sense our moods.'

'Humans have a tendency to immerse themselves in their own narcissistic concerns, losing awareness of the world around them. Not only pity for the self, but self-concerns of many varieties, preoccupy us. Perhaps one central reason for loving dogs is that they take us away from this obsession with ourselves. When our thoughts start to go in circles, and we seem unable to break away, wondering what horrible event the future holds for us, the dog opens a window into the delight of the moment. To walk with a dog is to enter the world of the immediate. Our dog stares up into a tree, watching a squirrel—she is there and nowhere else.'

'I have watched the faces of my three dogs freeze with intense interest; whatever the task at hand is, they bring such focused intensity to it. They turn to watch which way I will go at a fork in the road, They are so interested. It is extraordinary how much interest they can invest in the most ordinary thing. I find it entirely humbling. That concentrated, full, complete, undisturbed interest is what everybody wants from their own human companion.'

'They are never paralyzed by the need to judge and to compare. They are never gloomy at the thought that this walk was not as nice as yesterday’s walk, this forest not nearly as interesting as last week’s forest. Each walk is new, unique, and uniquely interesting, with its own set of smells and delights. I keep looking for my dogs’ favorite walks, but the truth is, they have no favorite walks; only I do. They love all walks. They love walking. They love being wherever they are. The reason, and it is a great lesson, is no doubt that they are perfectly content to be who they are, without torturing themselves with alternatives: They love being dogs.'

'Marjorie Garber speculates that dogs allow us to fantasize about spontaneity, emotional generosity, and togetherness. This is right, partly I think because dogs “are strangers to cynicism.”!” Dogs are not worried about how they will be perceived by other dogs. They do not have to hide their joie de vivre for fear of appearing naïve, and they do not need to feign boredom when they are in fact interested for fear of appearing unsophisticated. Dogs never stand around at parties wondering what to say, or why they came, or how pitiful they might seem to more elegant or more amusing or more important guests. They do not struggle to be witty, getting right to the point, going straight for the source. Yet they manage to come away with a greater and more accurate fund of information than humans do at their parties.'

'Dogs register no need to theorize about love (or about anything else for that matter), they just show it, And show it and show it and show it. | am continually amazed at the dog’s ability to love so unconditionally and without ambivalence. Indeed, many people will have heard at one time or another of a cruel or neglectful owner whom the dog loves regardless of how he or she is treated. The capacity for love in the dog is so pronounced, so developed that it is almost like another sense of another organ. It might well be termed hyperlove, and it is bestowed upon all humans who live closely with a dog.'

'Newfies often tow boats that have got into trouble to shore. They are capable of pulling upward of three thousand pounds. Their caretakers report that they always look so proud afterward, as if they know precisely what they have accomplished. Is the pride connected to knowledge that a life has been saved or is it merely pride in a game well played? Nobody can know for certain, but inasmuch as dogs are heroic in such varied situations which require what in humans we call “insight,” we can be certain that far more than “training” is involved.'

'Dogs love to be forgiven. They bear no grudge and are happy when they see that you don't harbor any ill will either.'

'If we are the “parents” of a dog, what are our teaching responsibilities? How much should we attempt to make a dog fit into the human world, and how much can we allow a dog to be a dog? For some people who own dogs (own is the operative word here), training is the raison d'étre for having a dog. There are others (those who would shudder at the implications of “own”) who feel just as strongly on the other side: It is a distortion of the nature of a dog to train a dog. I can see, and have felt the justice of, both of these positions. Neither, though, strikes me as completely correct.'

From the chapter on Dogs and Wolves:
'There are many things a wolf does that a dog does not do. Asked what they were, Peter told me that wolves are more serious than dogs. They give you the feeling that they have a sense of purpose, They walk unwavering down a path, where a dog will flit off to the side oy become easily distracted. A wolf, to survive, needs to know many things, Dogs just need to know us. The wolf has a relationship to the landscape that is far more profound than anything seen in a dog. For a dog, we are their landscape. What they need, they get from us. The wolf must be studious and stay focused. Where the dog learns, obeys, and copies, a wolf has insight. A wolf is attuned to all kinds of signals—to the song of birds and the subtle scents of plant and animal drifting on the wind—and these signals tell the wolf where to look for prey or competing predators.'

'The love of a dog is so often freely given that some people refuse to accept it; others have trouble even believing it. So they say they are “cat” people, because they think the cat is more discriminating, or they call the love something else, like slavish dependency.'

There is a lot of good stuff in this book.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read! I liked when he mentioned his dog looking at him with a "long, rueful gaze," and when he wrote that "dogs return love so fiercely, so openly, so unambivalently" (that it's hard not to return the sentiment). I've seen lot's of emotion in dogs, I feel like sometimes they are more emotional than humans. However he claims that "to dogs, smelling and feeling are essentially the same. and to smell is to feel an emotion." Instead of the 5 million olfactory cells that humans have, dogs have 200 million, so therefore their experience of smelling is more like an emotion than a sense. I'm glad I will be able to relate to my dog because I have often thought that if I had to give up a sense I would give up taste not smell. I really like smell. Weird I know. Most people I talk to would give up smell.

I liked this quote too: "Dogs don't lie to you about how they feel because they cannot lie about their feelings. A dog is utter sincere. It cannot pretend. Not an ounce of deceit."

Super psyched for this many-year dream of becoming a dog owner to come true in a few weeks!

[Ninya · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book of knowledge about the feelings and love of dogs! The best dog book I've read! Perhaps the best book Jeffrey Masson has ever written! Dog-owners should read this and also those that do not appreciate dogs as pets or as important as they should really be. I love my dogs much more now since I appreciate all that they do and I know their deep thoughts, feelings, and anxieties! Dogs don't think like humans, but they do not think like "real" animals.

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." - Josh Billings

[LizG · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciate that the author set out to explore the emotional, higher consciousness of dogs in defiance of the traditional, rather cold-hearted "mere beast" stance science typically takes, but he waxes overly sentimental about his own pack. His position is that when you live with and really observe them, you recognize a deeper relationship with dogs. Then he dismisses cats the way he accuses typical scientists of dismissing dogs!

I lived with two cats for 12 years. They were communicative, social, affectionate, sensitive to my emotions, and expressive of their own. I have countless stories with which I won't bore you, but I can unequivocally state the cats are not independent and aloof, and neither are their owners.

One particularly offensive comment by the author, that "cat people" are unable to accept the unconditional love of dogs, implies that anyone who does not love dogs is somehow flawed. Personally, I've always wondered if men love dogs so dearly because their dogs will adore them no matter how poorly they treat the human beings around them.

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers

"The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who cannot afford a yes-man." - Robertson Davies

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The best friend a man has in the world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son or daughter that he had reared with loving care may become ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and our good name, may become traitors to their faith. The money that a man has he may lose. It flies away from him when he may need it most. Man's reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees and do us honor when success is with us may be the first to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its cloud upon our head. The only absolutely unselfish friend a man may have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous is his dog." - Senator George Graham Vest

That quote alone could sum up this book. Masson beautifully crafts a detailed, reasonable, and scientific explanation as to why dogs never lie about love. He attempts to prove the point that dogs do, in fact, love, although several scientists and researchers state otherwise. I mean, how can they not? They feel, don't they? It goes for any being that has breath in its lungs. The depth of love and trust within the eyes of our four-legged canines when they gaze up at us is undeniable up until the last moment they have on earth. Perhaps that is why they don't have long lives as we do. They already know how to live and love life to the fullest, so they spend the short time they are given with us, teaching us how to revel in a walk in the countryside as they run around with a stick in their mouth like it is the greatest treasure on earth, how to sit and be still as they watch the sunset on the cool grass, and how to feel the joy of seeing a loved one they remember and trust with all their soul. I think Masson says it best when he states, "...in short, to love the other for its own sake. If any species on earth shares this miraculous ability with us (and perhaps there are many more we do not yet know about), it is the dog, for the dog truly loves us sometimes beyond expectation, beyond measure, beyond what we deserve, more, indeed than we love ourselves."

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

In his book, The Outermost House...

"We need another & a wiser & perhaps a more mystical concept of animals. Remote from universal Nature, & living by complicated artifice, Man in civilization surveys the creature through the glass of his knowledge & sees thereby a feather magnified & the whole image in distortion.

We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, & greatly err. For the Animal shall not be measured by Man.

In a World older & more complete than ours they move finished & complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.

They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other Nations, caught with ourselves in the net of Life & Time, fellow prisoners of the splendour & travail of the Earth."

- Henry Beston, 1928

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read. I picked up this book because, well, I love dogs and have grown up with them :)
I enjoyed reading it at times but it was quite easy to put down. What I liked about it, is that I could relate because I saw my dog in some of the dogs the author wrote about.

[Brittany · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a very interesting book. I read it on the heels of Elizabeth Marshall Thomas's The Hidden Life of Dogs, which Masson cited on one of the very first pages of the book. I actually started this one first, but then when I hit that reference, read Thomas's book first. In general, I think Thomas was more successful than Masson, perhaps because she attempted less. A former psychoanalyst, with a long list of liberal arts accomplishments, Masson tries to interpret perhaps a bit too much. While Thomas stuck fairly close to her observations, Masson goes deeper, which weakens the book.

While he occasionally provides useful insights into what a dog might be thinking, and always cautions us that we can never know for sure, he is also prone to sweeping, dramatic statements such as "Dogs don't just feel love, dogs are love." These sentences actually weaken his argument, because the reader doesn't know what he actually means by them, and because they're unnecessary to make his argument.

He also tends to denigrate the field of science, and scientists, for their insistence on "facts" and "data" in order to draw conclusions. While it's true that some scientists ignore intuition and many animal-based experiments were and are heartless, ignorant, and pointless, it is certainly not true that science is therefore worthless. Anecdotal evidence, personal experience, and intuition are all important, but science can often help us see through a cloud of impressions to the verifiable fact. And while, yes, we shouldn't always assume that Morgan's Canon always applies, it's good not to let yourself get lost in fancy, explaining away anything you disagree with as "ignorant." He also seems to believe anecdotes that agree with him, without offering outside verification, and dismiss anecdotes that would discount his theories.

Despite those two caveats, this was an enjoyable book, and presented some thought-provoking ideas and enlightening anecdotes.

[Kelley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started reading this in high school, I need to go back and start over

2/2/21 - I can see why I didn't finish this in high school, quite tedious, especially the first half. At this point, 20+ years later, there's even more research and even more books about this subject. As I read this I almost approached it more historical than current. Also, having 3 super behaved Shelties, which were the dogs we owned, that were loving family pets that I grew up with, I didn't yet have the perspective I have now, which is a lot more. Having now owned and trained 2 Australian Shepherds through multiple agility championships and having to deal with a reactivity issue, this book was probably more appreciated after these life experiences.

Books like these tend to be quite philosophical while going back and looking at experiments and of the remarkable stories people have written about dogs. Also, mentions of various animal experiments from the last few centuries are also hard to read, and yes on dogs, not just rodents and traditional lab animals as we think of today. With that said, I found the massive amounts of quotes, stories, etc a bit distracting, and one point I disagree with is the mention that tail didn't serve a purpose. Because later he says the tail is the dog's smile, which is true, but owning dogs with no tails, there's a lot more research about balance and tails serving as rudders, the likely cause of one of my Aussie's serious pain issues resulting in a beloved agility career cut short and tons of PT and maintenance and a TPLO surgery.

So in short (or long) this book was hit and miss at times, but at the end, dogs are remarkable, and those that don't understand dogs, don't like dogs, or don't want to own one will likely not read this book, so this is for a true dog lover, and yes those of us that fit that mold know they are highly intelligent, emotive and definitely have a soul.

[Ayelet C · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book, the tone of the author is very casual and conversational.

My complaint about the book (why it’s not 5 stars) is that there are a number of times when the author is a little repetitive and kind of referencing an earlier point, in very similar language, without further development (ie connecting the immediately preceding section with that earlier point).

Editorial oversight, in my opinion.

[Paula Kramer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an insightful book about dogs and their feelings. He recognizes that it is not a scientifically proven book but he cites many other authors who have worked with dogs and have many of the same feelings that he has. It made me think a little more seriously about my own dog's feelings. I bought this book just by chance at a library sale and glad I did. I already have a friend who would like to read it next. You surely have to be a dog lover to fully appreciate it.

[Carolyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is basically just some guys' ramblings about his life with his dogs and how he loves them and thinks they have all these complex emotions. As a dog-lover myself I agree with him on most of it and it kept me entertained while at work. It didn't really tell me much I didn't already know just by having a dog though.

[Edwina Book Anaconda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed listening to this one and even learned a thing or two.
Highly recommended.

[SarieBerrie]

DNF too sad

[Regina Barata · Rating 3 out of 5]

De estudos a experiências científicas, de obras literárias a especialistas em cães, passando pela sua vivência, o autor mostra as várias facetas emocionais dos cães e acima de tudo a sua infinita capacidade de amar.
Um livro para todos os que gostam de cães e também para aqueles que não gostando querem compreender melhor o seu comportamento e mundo emocional.

[Christine Fay · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book’s style is a bit stiff -- bordering on the scientific, but nevertheless the theme rings true -- dogs DO experience a range of human-like emotions, more so than any other creature put on this Earth. All I have to do is pull out a suitcase for my dog to become smitten with a look of forlorn hopelessness on his face as he seems to anticipate my absence. By the same token, returning home from such a trip, no one is more excited to see me than good old Teddy -- practically falling over himself to climb into my lap and get his long overdue belly rubs.

“The dog is the only being that loves you more than you love yourself.” ~ Fritz von Unruh

“Perhaps the word no should never be used with a dog, for it is simply too devastating. . . somehow, when they hear that terrifying sound from their beloved friends, they enter a kind of gloom from which it can seem unlikely they will ever emerge. Of course, minutes later, they do emerge -- and that is something else I love about dogs. While they experience an emotion to its full potential, once it is over, that is that, and they are ready for the next experience. Dogs do not seem to waste time brooding over the past or anxiously awaiting the dreaded future. They are always present” (xvii).

“Humans have a tendency to immerse themselves in their own narcissistic concerns, losing awareness of the world around them. Not only pity for the self, but self-concerns of many varieties, preoccupy us. Perhaps one central reason for loving dogs is that they take us away from this obsession with ourselves. When our thoughts start to go in circles, and we seem unable to break away, wondering what horrible event the future holds for us, the dog opens a window into the delight of the moment. To walk with a dog is to enter the world of the immediate. Our dog stares up into a tree, watching a squirrel -- she is there and nowhere else” (35).

“. . . dogs are now being used in nursing homes for the elderly, in psychiatric hospitals, and in individual therapy as a means to draw patients, the elderly, and children out of isolation or depression by interacting with dogs. . . . The dog seemed to pierce her dementia, drawing out of her some old recognition that here was a female dog and she was cute . . . Dogs used in this way for therapy often bring about surprising results, and lead one to wonder if the very notion of dementia might not need to be rethought” (185).

“Such people have every reason to be depressed, but seeing these healthy, happy animals lifts them, momentarily at least, from their sadness. I think it may make dogs feel good, too, as if they know what they are bringing some pleasure to otherwise dreary lives” (185).

[East Bay J · Rating 3 out of 5]

I dug this book in that it has lots of interesting and cool stories about dogs. Dogs Never Lie About Love is not a scientific book. Masson stresses that he is trying not to anthropomorphize and it is clear he wrote from a lot of research based on observation (scientific and otherwise) and best guesses. Regardless, anyone who has observed dogs, living either with them or around them for long periods of time, will sense the inherent truth in what Masson is saying. You will recognize what he is talking about. He repeats himself endlessly and makes weird generalizations and sort of jumps from point to point at times. Ultimately, though, this is a nice read, not exactly candy but sort of. If you're interested in what dogs think about, their inner workings, this book serves as an introduction to the topic with a fair amount of hard data thrown in. It won't answer any questions for you, though. Until dogs can lay it on us, they will remain in mystery.

[Elzbeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

If I had read this book when it was originally published in 1997 and not now 24 years later, I might have thought differently. Maybe I would’ve thought that this book was absolutely wonderful and groundbreaking! As it is, reading it when I am, I am not a fan. He references Sigmund Freud often although much of what Freud has said and done has been debunked. He re-states the same thing over and over and over and the book is presented much more as a textbook than it is as something for regular people to learn and enjoy. I would be interested in rereading it if it were published now, 20 years later from the original publication. I would like to see how his sources opinions and values have changed.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a Christmas present from my sister, so I can now blame her for the new dog we own. About half way through this book I gave into the pressure of my fiance and realized our current dog needed/wanted another dog around. So....we went to the animal shelter and picked out a new dog. It is really wonderful to have another dog around.

This book is awesome and should be read but everyone, including non dog lovers! The title is so true! DOGS NEVER LIE ABOUT LOVE! Dogs have the purest emotion and could never lie about the way they are feeling.

Everyone should read this book!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to any of my dog loving FB friends. The author does a great job of exploring whether or not dogs feel emotions such as embarrassment, humility, empathy, and even how deep they feel love. He makes a great point about why dogs are always so happy: they live in the here and now. They're not concerned with what happened yesterday or what's going to happen tomorrow; it's all about the living in the present. We could learn from them.

[Margaret]

Finally got to this one - interesting book. I felt like the author was very tentative in everything he was saying as if he didn't really want to commit to his words. He certainly cites a lot of sources. I did learn a few interesting things I didn't know - like that members of the dog family do not bark much, unlike domestic dogs. Also liked the chapter on how dogs relate to cats. The best parts were his personal antidotes about his own "pack".

[Bella · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book was fine, at times it felt boring and redundant but that may be due to it being non fiction. I didn’t agree with some of the authors ideas mainly due to him being a psychoanalyst who believes in some Freudian ideas of which I know are not accepted by the scientific community for good reason. Much of what I read I already knew about dogs also though some of it was interesting.

[Henry Witwicki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, I found it interesting. The chpter on animal experiments, cruelty I could of done witnout. I did like it though. Great insights, although I did not agree with a lot of the wolve ancestry stuff.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

While some of it was interesting, it meandered from one story to another. Several good points made, but also a lot of wasteful studies being done (which he points out) and other observations which seem obvious to those of us who love dogs.

[Noga Golan · Rating 2 out of 5]

One data point anecdotes from author’s personal experience often suffice in drawing broader conclusions, which is not convincing.

Pretentious with quotes from Thomas Mann, Voltaire, Virginia Woolf and the like which seem forced and not very relevant.

[Christina Zugno · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very insightful theoretical look into the emotional word of dogs. Touches on a lot of concepts that have more research that back it up present day that wasn't available at the time of the novels publication. Would say it's ahead of its time for it's publishing date.

[Sarah Piper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet combination of personal stories/thoughts and facts from research studies, made me want a dog and I’m very much a “cat person”! Recommend to anyone with a dog!! Gives you a peak into the life of a dog and the relationships we’ve come to have with them.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Any dog-lover will agree and find interesting this book. Anyone who hasn't loved or been owned by a dog will probably find this book a bit over the top with stories of loving dogs.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful and touching. Good illustrations, too.