The New Fesstament: The Very Best of Fesshole

by Rob Manuel

THE SECOND BOOK FROM THE VIRAL TWITTER (X) @FESSHOLE

'A ridiculously reliable source of joy, shock and horror' - James O'Brien

'I sometimes read one of those fesses and wonder if I submitted it myself the night before, after a few beers' - James May

The anonymous voices of the internet are back, ready to spill their deepest, darkest secrets and side-splitting faux pas.

In this eagerly anticipated second coming, Rob Manuel has once again compiled the most jaw-dropping, knee-slapping, and cringe-inducing confessions out there.

Prepare to immerse yourself in the seedy underbelly of human nature, where no secret is too taboo, no embarrassment is left unexplored, and laughter knows no bounds. Once again, the online world becomes an unexpected arena of collective catharsis, and this riotous read is an addictive deep dive into our shared guilt.

This must have book contains favourite viral confessions, and a whole heap of new ones. After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction

268 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 9, 2023

Reviews

[Steve Stivaktis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I mean, it's what it sounds like. I found it during my favourite pastime activity: looking up 99p deals on the Kobo store. I got it, I read it during an extremely busy time where following any of the continuous stories or non-fiction cases I've got going on was nearly impossible. It was appropriately amusing; some confessions were fun, others were horribly disgusting. It's exactly what I got it for. Wouldn't necessarily mark it as the read of the year but it delivered on its promise.

[Derek Baldwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely funny, apart from the last few confessions, those are very poignant e.g. the person who places flowers on the grave, every year, of a stranger who died on Christmas day 1902. The scatological content reads much like Rogers Profanisaurus, at one level unbelievable, wince-making, do people really do such things? I have clearly led a somewhat sheltered life.

[🌶 peppersocks 🧦 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reflections and lessons learned/the content of this book made me feel…
“An irresponsible grown-up told me that spaghetti alphabet was all lower case when cold and turned into capital letters when heated up. Didn't realise it was bullshit until my twenties”

What’s life without ridiculous 2 minute stories/down the pub, possibly embellished, style anecdotes? After reading a book on rudeness, even though these and the regular Twitter (I believe it’s called X these days…) posts could be total horse, I don’t care and I devoured these as they’re all submit with humour in mind - stories to remind us that life can be absurd and that there’s a plethora of walks of life, from the total deviants to overthinkingly sweet (but mostly the former in this instance…). I was tempted to put not for the faint hearted, but maybe that should be not for the narrow minded? It’s fun to sometimes look out of our own lanes and gaffes, and be shocked by the highs and lows of others, or even simply their imaginations and willingness to speak these things… great stats from the author in this one too!

[T.O. Munro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I follow Fesshole on twitter and enjoyed this collection, skewed at is to letting people share some of their darker moments.

It is a relatively long comedy book - a testament to the wealth of material the general public have generated. Consequently the tome benefits from being grouped into sections based on Fesshole's version of the ten commandments. which gives sections on relationships with partners, parenting and death amongst others.

Plenty to smile at, some to doubt, but always entertaining - if inevitably somewhat coarse. There is also a sense of relief in seeing that people do do outrageous things so maybe my own embarrassing moments weren't that bad ?!

I am curious about what the gender balance of contributors would be, but I leave that as a question of other readers to investigate.

[John Poulton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a 'dip into' book. The kind of book you want on a shelf in the loo to distract during bouts of constipation. It's okay and at times very funny.

What distracted me was the feeling that some of the more extreme 'confessions' were most likely fabricated. That and there were many I didn't find amusing but, in defence of the book, I read it in the wrong manner. I sat and read it on the sofa and I grew tired of the bitty anecdotal style. The originals were posted on Twitter and so had a limited number of characters to tell their tale.

It's okay. Keep a copy next to the bog roll.

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rob Manuel didn't come up with the idea of soliciting anonymous confessions, of course -- I particularly remember someone a few years ago using a Times Square billboard for the same purpose, but I'd be amazed if the responses displayed were anything like this bunch. It's the sequel to The Very Best of Fesshole: Britain Confesses Anonymously from 2022, and if the cover is weirdly reminiscent of the Old Farmer's Almanac, the contents confirm that the UK is the foulest, filthiest-minded nation on Earth, and that the comic strips in Viz are nonfiction.

My sentimental favorite is from the person who "regularly make[s] up implausible stories and post[s] them on 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on [UK mothers' website] Mumsnet. Two have ended up in the Daily Mail. Passes the time on my daily commute." Reminds me of my own youthful fiction writing, when I would invent family or romantic dilemmas and send them to newspaper advice columnists (who occasionally responded). It could also be a reminder that there's nothing to stop Fesshole submitters from lying freely, though I have chosen to believe all entries are 100% God's truth.

"I will instigate sex in the morning with my wife, knowing that she will rebuff my advances and instantly get up and make me coffee in bed."

"At work I'm a proper goody two-shows and everyone knows it. I put in an anonymous fake complaint to HR about myself doing drugs, swearing and being abusive to staff. Got three weeks paid at home while the company eventually got around to investigating and clearing me."

"I work nights in IT support with my girlfriend. One night we had sex to pass the boredom. As I [REDACTED FOR THIS REVIEW] onto a server rack, which stopped working. Several trading firms called in to say their platforms stopped working. Cost them £23 million in lost trades."

"My husband is banned from the cinema after loudly uttering 'It needs to be deeper, a dog will dig that up' during the burial of Dobbie."

I was going to quote the one about the person who, out of curiosity, [REDACTED] his [REDACTED] and reports that it tasted like rotisserie chicken skin. But some things are better left vague.

Minus one star for Manuel heading a section on youthful misadventures "School Daze." Otherwise nearly perfect.

[Colin Murtagh · Rating 4 out of 5]

The second collection from the twitter account republishing anonymous confessions. If you've seen the twitter account, you'll know exactly what to expect from this. While on the whole it shows the darker side of people, their relationships, their working life, it's all carefully curated that it never gets too dark, and will normally raise a smile.
It does make me feel better about my life.

[Isla Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

An easy, amusing, sometimes ingenious and occasionally poignant book, I really enjoyed this. It features many sex references and some frank discussions, so its not meant for a young audience/readers but its a good, easy, funny read with comical drawings/illustrations scattered throughout. Recommended.

[Ben Fish · Rating 5 out of 5]

The sequel did not disappoint

A page turner, which shows the best and worst of humanity, which had me laughing out loud throughout, and which also provided some really interesting tips.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really funny

[Zoe Obstkuchen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, cringe-worthy, best read out to friends or colleagues!

[Alan Thornhill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent - like the first book

[Selina McClure · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

Loved it. Hilarious stuff. 16 more words required. I confess I have had wine. Seriously 3 more words. Jesus wept.