i really wanted to love this. i think i’m being generous giving this 2 stars ⭐️ bc i don’t think i’ve ever suffered to get through something more than i suffered reading this book.
this is gonna be more of a rant than a review bc me giving this a review would imply that i recommend this reading experience and i would never do that to you guys.
so i’ll start off with some of the major trigger warnings in this book:
-rape ( off screen )
-death of loved ones
-assault
-homophobia
-religious trauma
-suicide ideation
-cheating
-blackmail
-abuse
plot:
the story centers around juliet, who is taken out of her abusive home and placed with the town's pastor and his wife. their son, danny, starts a relationship with juliet soon after she moves in. juliet admits she is high-strung and impulsive, but living with the family compels her to become a much more disciplined version of herself. her connection with danny is also restricted as he strictly follows his father's beliefs and refuses to engage in anything against them. juliet accepting of danny’s choice to wait for marriage still aches to feel desired by danny and wishes him to be more emotionally available for her. she expresses this to him only to be shut down multiple times. throughout the plot, juliet is a complete doormat for the family, essentially treated as a housewife despite working full-time at a diner to support herself. while the caring and good-natured pastor's wife, donna, is there, she does little to protect or support juliet. feeling indebted to the allen’s for saving her, juliet believes she must fulfill this role to repay them.
the summer before her senior year, danny returns home from college with his best friend luke, whom the family has agreed to host for the season. juliet is instantly drawn to luke, both physically and emotionally. despite having only spoken three sentences to each other, luke has the ability to see through juliet & his brooding eyes and snarky comments continuously challenge her. unlike danny, luke is not constrained by the same religious beliefs, which sparks jealousy in juliet. moreover, she can't help but notice the desire in luke’s eyes, which further intensifies her attraction to him. furthermore, luke also doesn’t treat her like a slave in her own household & views juliet as a captive in her own home. he consistently pushes her to speak up for herself & want more for herself. specifically in terms of her music which the allen’s have dismissed as a “hobby”.
what i liked:
their was something about this story that compelled me to keep reading it. despite the frustration w the way the allens and danny treated juliet, and her struggle to stand up for herself, their was an element in the narrative that had me invested enough to see it through. i also have to credit the author for her immersive writing style. it evoked strong emotions & vivid imagery through the dialogue. i was able to vividly imagine this little beach town & absolutely loved that element of the book. nevertheless, the only enjoyment of the book boiled down to the fact that it managed to keep me engaged & turning the pages.
what i didn’t like:
luke & juliet just felt unrealistic to me. for a book that markets itself on angst, i didn’t feel their chemistry at all. this could have rectified itself if they actually spoke to each other LMFAO. it would have been more believable if they developed an emotional connection that went beyond staring contests and mind reading. i just felt lied to. the supposed angst marketed in this book felt very insincere to me.
i also wanted to quickly mention that this book takes place in form of flashback and present chapters. as a reader i usually don’t mind flashback chapters but it royally irritated me in this story. just as i was really starting to get invested in the story occurring in the past, suddenly we were being thwarted back into the present. another aspect that bothered me about this was the fact that i felt even less chemistry between juliet and luke in the present than i did the past. i just absolutely despised the chapters that took place in the present. like i couldn’t care less.
of all this books frustrations however, the biggest one was juliet. i’ve never read about a character so hell-bent on her downfall than juliet. this exceeded more than her ability to stand up for herself. if luke hadn’t come into her life, juliet likely would have lived the rest of her life with the allen’s, and while i sympathized with her in the beginning, my pity can only stretch so far. even after she begins her life away from the allen’s ( which only happened bc she was blackmailed away! ) the present chapters reveal that she is still in a physical & abusive relationship ( despite a video leaking of her famous boyfriend being physically abusive, she is still with him!! ) this exemplified that she hadn’t grown nor changed in the 7 years after her relationship w danny. it wasn’t until 95% of the book that she finally came to her senses.
another aspect of juliet that bothered me was how difficult it was to connect with her. besides having little to no back bone, she claims this side of her exists that she cannot display while living with the allen’s. yet as the audience, we never see this side of her. she never assumes into this person even after she leaves the allen’s home. i’m not even entirely sure how luke foresaw this side of her having only briefly met & spoken to her…and while she did have moments where her patience drew thin she was overall hellbent on her own destruction.
similarly, another important detail to note is that juliet is a celebrity in the present. we have no idea how it happened, what exactly she does, what her music is about, we know she is a singer based on the ill willled attempts in the past to make her seem like she has a personality. it is completely glossed over. just as other aspects of juliet’s past home life are, including her brothers death. several aspects that i personally think contribute to someone’s story and their being. at the end of this i still felt like i knew nothing about her.
i want to quickly touch on the actual infidelity and the cheating. first, it occurred in less than 10% of the book, and the way it was marketed seemed to me that it stretched the entirety of the novel, that wasn’t the case. regardless of the fact, i didn’t even actually care that she cheated on danny. he was a horrible boyfriend. he never made her feel desired, dismissed her sexual assault and treated her like something he owned. nevertheless, she could have just as easily broken up with him. leaving her life with the allen’s & pursuing a relationship with luke was an option that was presented to her several times, she just loved being miserable so much that she let that opportunity slip by among many others. in the grand scheme of things, so many of the conflicts presented in this book could have self solved themself if juliet was honest, respected herself, and had a hint of backbone to her.
by the end of this reading experience i was so emotionally exhausted that i was just RELIEVED it was over. i understand with any book their is to be emotional turmoil but this did not feel like romance book. their was no escapism in this & i would not call this a romance book. it felt like a trauma dump, one that included cheating, a weak plot, & the most frustrating characters i think i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading about in my entire life.
lastly, juliet absolutely did not deserve luke nor did she deserve his patience. i believe that if this book was entirely in luke’s pov, i may have liked it better. juliet simply destroyed everything in this book that could have been good. i was so done and exhausted by the end of this, i didn’t even bother reading the epilogue!! i just celebrated the fact that it was finally over!
don’t ask me why i continued reading this either bc i too am asking myself that. if you made it to the end of this you deserve all the flowers 🥲 really, thank you.
and if you did enjoy this book i am happy it was a good reading experience for you :)