Not How I Pictured It

by Robin Lefler

A sharply hilarious and ultimately heartfelt novel about a former teen superstar who grudgingly agrees to a reboot of the show that made her (in)famous, from the author of Reasonable Adults. Twenty years after Ocean Views went off the air, the beloved TV show about teenage romance and angst is back. No one is more surprised than its former star, Agnes “Ness” Larkin, that she’s agreed to step back into the role of Hailey Grant. After her father/manager took off with her earnings, Ness ran away from the spotlight in shame. But maybe it’s time to stare her past, and her castmates, in their discreetly Botoxed faces. That enthusiasm lasts until the first table read, which, in co-star Coco’s words, is “like a high school reunion without the dim lighting or booze.” Ness assumed her old fling Hayes Beaumont would be too busy doing Big Hollywood Things to take part, but there he is, seated beside her, exuding pheromones and success. En route to the deluxe Bahamas resort where they’re to start filming, the cast gets stranded by a storm. Stuck on a tiny island with a paltry cache of food and quite possibly the most useless survival group in history, Ness tries to reconcile her youthful dreams with where she’s ended up—figuratively and literally. The producers wanted drama on and off-screen, and they’re going to get it, but where will Ness be when it’s all over?

Genres: Romance, Fiction, Chick Lit, Adult, Audiobook, Mystery, Contemporary

353 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 23, 2024

Reviews

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was ABSOLUTE bonkers in the BEST way!! Think a survival film where a cast of former teen actors sign on for a reunion show but get stranded on a deserted Bahamian island and have to fight to survive long enough to be rescued. Reading this book was like watching a train wreck where the twists kept coming and the drama was over the top ridiculous in all the most fun ways!! I couldn't put it down and it is by far my new favorite from Canadian author Robin Lefler. I can't wait to see what she writes next! Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!

Steam level: closed door/kissing only

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Books for the digital ARC of this book in exchange for my thoughts on it.

Agnes Larkin, known as Ness, is a former teenage tv show star who has feel out of the Hollywood limelight. Her father ran off with her money and Ness had to start over in a more meager type of living.

She was asked to be in a reboot of her tv show and while hesitant, ends up on board. After their first table read full of awkward feelings and lots of side eye, they take off to a Bahamas resort. A storm strands them on an island and shenanigans begin.

Simply put, this book was quite literally not how I pictured it. I felt like it had some hope at the beginning, but it seemed to drag for most of the book. While it was an okay book, it’s definitely not one I’ll be recommending.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were things I enjoyed about this, and it wasn't bad.

I liked:
-mature cast of characters in their 40s (MC is 42)
-lots of people dealing with their own problems and working through them
-rebuilding friendships and relationships
-a little bit of romantic angst

I didn't like:
- the plot really went off the rails...
-despite being a romance lover, this romance was unconvincing

[LadyAReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lord of the Flies meets Gilligan’s Island but add dash of romance and make it an abandoned Epstein island. Sex dungeon, two way mirrors, and mountains of porn but no rescue or useful items in sight. Seriously this is a fantastic read.

[Janalyn, the blind reviewer · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the book Not How I Pictured It by Robin Leffler we meet Agnes “Nessa “Lochlyn a former child star who was on a Baywatch type show and she has returned after living in anonymity in Canada for 20 years 20 years ago she lived the life of a young Hollywood star until the day her dad left town and took her life earnings and savings with him and needless to say it knocked her off her keel for a little while. Not only did she flea LA but basically ghosted everyone who thought she was their friend in this includes the cast of Ocean Views The cast includes Coco Brady Ian Nessa Libby and Haze. When Nessa returns she’s hoping everyone will be adult about it and for the most part Coco Brady and Ian are happy to see her as well as Haze but costar and ex best friend Libby Kim is a different story but then again she has an attitude in general only Nessie knows when it comes to her there’s much more behind her barbd comments. She was told her ex-boyfriend Hayes was off doing movies and couldn’t do the show so when he arrives she’s happy to see he is happy to see her but doesn’t like the yearning in old feelings that come rushing back at the side of him. Is it things couldn’t get more awkward the costars and a crewmember Tyler gets stranded on an island after setting off in the middle of a hurricane if not for Hayes and Nessa they probably would’ve all drowned thankfully they landed on an island that’s for sale what was it an accident or on purpose? She’s stuck on an island with seven other people and none of them have survival skills and the one who does the least keeps yelling at Nessa asking who put her in charge? There were a lot of things that frustrated me about the main character Agnes but especially the way Libby talk to her and how she kept saying she didn’t like confrontations but how much can one person take I would’ve slapped Libby the first day back with the group let alone being stuck on an island hungry you’re the only one using your common sense to get by and all she does is sit there with her scarf over her face lounging around she certainly put up with more than I would have in my story wouldn’t have ended the way her dead. Having said that I found the twist and drama in the book was enough to keep me turning the pages although why would she turn all the lights on in the castle saying in case a boat pass by but wouldn’t a boat just think people were at home on their island? I had so many questions and so many things to say this would be such a great book to do a body read with but having said that it was a great ending the little mystery was great I loved the new cast member Daisy so I definitely recommend this book a really great way to pay us time. I want to thank Kensington books for my free art copy via NetGalley please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.

[mae · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was bonkers ! was a fun time but super plot heavy which made it confusing at times

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hate giving a book a low rating. But I’m mad at myself for finishing this one. I really, really struggled with it.

Ness was on a popular teen show about twenty years ago. She left acting after her father stole everything she’d ever worked for. And she majorly severed ties with everyone from her show mainly because she was so embarrassed and hurt.

When Ness is offered a chance to do a reboot of the show she takes it. Part of her reasoning is because she’d like a chance to mend fences and maybe get a second chance with the one who got away.

But instead of winding up right set on a Caribbean island, they wind up having their boat crash in a storm and wind up stuck together on a seemingly deserted island.

They find creepy abandoned castle to stay in. I say “creepy” not because it was scary exactly but because the place itself creeped me out.

From the very beginning, Ness jumps in and starts taking care of everything and everyone. She sets up rationing of the little food they have, she boils water to clean it, she hunts for food. Etc etc etc. she goes into full survival mode. But is it appreciated? Not by everyone! Some of them are actually suspicious that Ness caused the crash and was secretly recording them.

Libby was the worst of them all.


I spent a lot of time reading this just purely frustrated on Ness’ behalf.

By the time they uncovered what was really happening I was honestly surprised more because the culprit had seemed like the obvious pick from the beginning.

The only reason I kept reading was to see if she got back together with her ex.

Well, I can’t love everything I read. I don’t give a lot of low ratings but I really should have just dnf’d this one when I realized it wasn’t for me and not rated it at all.

[Courtney sharpe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well this title says it all, this is Not What I Pictured….

A group of actors and actresses famous for a teen show reunite in their 40s to film a reboot on a private island. Except they get stranded on a different island and when it seems no one is coming to help them they start to suspect each other of sabotaging the trip.

Firstly, totally thought this was a second chance romance going in so what a surprise when it comes to be a mystery instead. Secondly this book draggggged on. It wasn’t until almost 200 pages in when I (slightly) became invested on what was happening but even then we had fast and slow pacing with multiple “plot twists” being nothing. The ending was meh and overall, this is a case of having huge potential with low execution.

Thanks to Kensington books for my advanced copy.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 3.75/5 (rounded up to 4)
🌶️ 1/5 (kissing only, one closed door moment with no detail)

A huge thank you to Kensington Books and NetGalley for the digital ARC copy of this book to read and share my thoughts with others in advance!

I was so excited for this book when I read the synopsis, one of my favorite plot lines is a shipwrecked, stranded romance (especially a forced proximity, second chance). This had all the elements of that but definitely less on the romance. It was there but this book is more for those looking for a romance subplot as it definitely exists exclusively in the background. There were so many opportunities to dial up the steamy romance or even sexual tension between Ness and Hayes but it was overall quite subtle, not to say that the moments we got weren't good because there were some very good ones.

Each character was a complex little present waiting to be unwrapped. There was so much mystery that surrounded each character's intricate and unique story. Each main character, being in their 40's, included a lengthy past that was well developed considering the continuous development of the plot on the island at the same time. The interconnected web that was woven between each character was really well planned and executed, it must have been so difficult with so many! The author absolutely nailed this aspect.

The moments of danger were creative but also fairly PG for a scaredy cats like me, who love suspenseful and thrilling edge-of-your-seat moments but don't want to be continuously traumatized by anything too insane. Again these aspects were really well done, particularly the last 35% of the book which was a rollercoaster of narrowly escaped danger, wild secrets revealed and looming disaster. If you are ophidiophobic or claustrophobic, you may have to practice some deep breathing with this last part!

The blurb that sold me said this story was "The OC meets the Unhoneymooners" which I would largely agree with, but WAY less spicy. So if you are a sweet, closed door romance girlie who loves the added thriller/mystery vibe and are looking for this combo, you will LOVE this book!

[Jacque Dalton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was definitely not how I pictured it. 😆 I couldn’t anticipate anything that happened because it was all SO random. Not like, in a bad way but in a “what is going on right now?!” kind of way. This definitely kept me on my toes.

Not How I Pictured It gave cozy mystery vibes meets closed-door romance. However, I’d definitely call this more of a fiction than anything. The romance was pretty new and surface level based on their pasts.

There’s a good amount of double standards here. Your typical man “aging like silver fox” or whatever but the women “have to” suck their stomachs in and are compared to the new younger woman. Annoying more than anything

The idea itself for the book is really fun, but I found myself bored at times. If you’re wondering why they have access to some items, but not others while they’re stranded, just know that it makes sense later! For some reason being stranded in an abandoned mansion doesn’t feel real urgent to me, even though it definitely is! They definitely meant it when they said these people had 0 survival skills!

If you were to ask me if you should read this book, I’d say yes. I have nothing really against it, its just not anywhere near a favorite and was a book that I would zone out while reading. I’m sure this is someone’s cup of tea though!

Ending on a positive note: I loved that most of the characters were in their 40s!

thank you NetGalley and Kensington for the ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This book was nothing like I expected. I'm sure I read about it when I requested it but I certainly didn't remember anything.

Imagine my surprise when I expected one kind of book, romance with a little comedy, and instead get a full-on adventure, survival story with a "who done it" twist thrown in.

I have to say, while it's not my favorite genre, I found this book to be funny, gripping, and totally captivating!! Certain characters were easy to hate, as they should be, and others were questionable, at best.

If you're looking for something different I'd definitely read this book. I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would.

[Paige · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t get the ‘funny and heartfelt’ part of the book description, it was neither of those things for me. It was filled with lots of unlikeable characters, which I liked. The problem for me was that I tend to dislike romance novels in which the FMC is a red flag.

This is marketed as a rom-com, however I would call this a decent mystery adventure book. Halfway into it, I put it down and was like, “When does any romance happen?” I picked it back up to see how the adventure turned out and the mystery solved.

*Provided a DRC (digital review copy) from the publisher for review. All opinions are my own.

[Fernanda Granzotto · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book for review, all opinions are my own*

2.5 stars

I don't know what I was expecting from this book, but it certainly wasn't what I found here.
I went into it without knowing what I would find, and I was definitely surprised.
I think I was expecting some kind of romance from the cover, but that's not what we have here.
I don't even know how to describe this book.
I think it's an adventure and mystery book.
It's not a bad book, so much so that I finished reading it even though I wasn't enjoying it because it's not the kind of story I like.
It's a very well-written and developed story, it's just not for me.
But I recommend it if you like lighter surviving stories.

[Clara Gilleland · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really REALLY wanted to like this one. The concept behind the plot captured me from the moment I read the synopsis, but I ultimately just felt like there was so much going on it made it hard to focus on all of the different characters and subplots. Each character was individually pretty dynamic but the story felt so messy I couldn’t bring myself to feel invested in any of their growth.

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bonkers! I had some real ups and downs with this one and ended up really enjoying the climax of the action. The earlier chapters and the ending, not as much.

[Debbie Richardson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Different but pretty good

[Melissa Farandatos · Rating 5 out of 5]

If the cast of 90210 got stranded while attending a reunion show . I liked it . Very funny

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

An enjoyable read.

[Mark Deer · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a slog to get through. The different characters seemed indistinguishable from each other. The premise was fun but it just didn’t seem to pan out into something distinctive.

[Hannah Jones-Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ got this from a GR giveaway. Easy read, romance was not convincing to the point of wish it wasn’t a part of the plot

[Robyn Covell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a cute, fun bubble-gum summer read. Despite being a little predictable in the over-plot, I enjoyed the characters and unexpected twists and turns along the way.

[As You Wish · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think they all got the ending they deserved.

[Laurie • The Baking Bookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is aptly named. It wasn't how I pictured it would be, but it was a fun, quirky read with an intriguing premise.

A group of former teen TV stars decide to do a reboot of the show that made them household names. The time since their show ended has been different for everyone, especially Agnes 'Ness' Larkin who is living a life far from Hollywood's prying eyes. It's been awhile but are there remnants of the old friendships they made? Or will the long-standing grudges of these former heartthrobs win out?

They soon find themselves stranded on an island in the Bahamas in a 'unique' old house with its own secrets where they find refuge, local beasties and a few of these eclectic characters learn about themselves in the process. There's some angst from the past, some rebuilding of former friendships and a mature (in their 40's! Yay!) cast of characters who each have their own issues to deal with. But my favourite part was the humour that often had me giggling to myself.

I enjoyed Ness as the main character and her reason for wanting to make a comeback after a betrayal ended her career in Hollywood. Hayes made an impression too - he was a totally dreamy silver fox of a man (I wish we had his POV) and the rest of the oddball cast add to the chaos.

This is a quirky, light, escapist kind of read that you can just dive into. Get ready for a fun, 'I can't believe that just happened', over-the-top kind of read set on a beautiful tropical island that is part locked room whodunnit, part tropical adventure/disaster with a touch of romance, featuring a group of people who have more baggage than Samsonite.

Disclaimer: My sincere thanks to the author for the complimentary copy of this book (and the publisher for the digital arc) which were given in exchange for an honest review.

[Marissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a delight! I adored this book. My son picked it out at the library bc he liked the cover and suggested I read it. I'm so glad he did! I couldn't put it down.

[Hope Hunter · Rating 2 out of 5]

When Ness was at the height of her popularity as a teen star on a hit network series, life was brilliant. After her manager father absconds with her fortune, Ness runs and disappears into a life of a landlord always working to meet the never-ending needs of her tenants. In desperate financial straits, Ness decides to join her old cast members in a series reboot. From the word "go," everything seems off and Ness can't help but feel this was a horrible idea. Things go from bad to worse as their boat veers off course in a horrible storm with an untrained captain and lands on the deserted private island of a former playboy star. As the group tries to survive until help comes their way, they begin to suspect that the shipwreck/stranded on a desert island may not have been as accidental as they originally thought.

The book description caught my interest and I was expected a fun, somewhat silly summer read. I was disappointed as I struggled to get through this book. The characters are all slightly irritating, and what I think as supposed to be humorous made me roll my eyes at the helpless and entitlement of the TV stars. Ness, in particular, did not want to be a victim, but it seemed she was always willing to be one. I felt like Hayes was a self-absorbed pretty face who retreated into his own world while looking stoically into the distance as Ness kept trying to figure out how to help the group out of their predicament. All of them were slightly silly in that they could not figure out that this whole thing was a set-up.

The novel idea was good, but I could not connect with any of the characters and I felt like a lot of loose ends were left unresolved, and some of the past drama with Ness's poor public behavior were left out. It was difficult to see why the relationships among the cast members was so rocky.

[Meaghan O'Connor · Rating 2 out of 5]

This plot is very creative, following reality starts from a 2000's reality show and seeing their lives now, growing tensions from the past that will be unfolded, a ship reck, survival, tabloids. On paper (no pun intended) this should be the book for me but despite these exciting ideas...the story is not.

I unfortunately could not get into the reading style of this author. I think I would have personally preferred if the book was a first person POV with Ness and maybe that would have helped me? Who knows. I do know that a book containing these elements should have hooked me but unfortunately...I stopped caring about the myriad of characters and what would happen

[Jen Heiser · Rating 2 out of 5]

Every "twist", "turn," and "reveal" are telegraphed a mile away. I knew what was going to be revealed in the next chapter because the little chapter breaks were too obvious. They didn't add any mystery, they foretold exactly what was going to be discussed like the "previously on" before a television episode. I didn't feel any anxiety that something bad could happen or that they wouldn't be rescued. Just, meh.

[Elaine · Rating 1 out of 5]

The opportunity for a great story lay firmly in this book; sadly it never materialized. Poor written, with horrible dialogue- save your money.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Ness Larkin signed on to recreate her character 20 years after her hit series ended, she wasn’t quite sure what to expect. After the series ended, she had hit a wall. She was acting out, flaming out, and shutting everyone out. It took years for her to get her life back together again, and she thought she had left acting behind. She was in real estate now, the person her tenants call to fix the garbage disposal or unclog the toilet.

But then Hollywood called. The Good News Network has decided to revisit Ocean Views, the story of a group of teens getting their first taste of adulthood. The ensemble cast included Ness’s best friend Libby and the love of her life Hayes. But after the show ended and her father absconded with all her earnings, Ness had frozen them out of her life. She knows going back would mean taking responsibility and apologizing. But she’s always wondered what could have happened if she had stayed in Hollywood and pursued the acting career she loved.

Ness only agreed to come back when she found out that Hayes wouldn’t be there. He is making major films now, and his schedule wasn’t open for the Ocean Views reboot. It’s not until she shows up for for the first table reading of the script that she finds out that the plans have changed. Hayes will be appearing in the first episode, and now he’s sitting in the seat next to her, his arm grazing hers with the same crazy chemistry they had all those years ago.

The show is set to be filmed on an island, and the cast is heading to the island on a boat together, accompanied by a young production assistant, Tyler. They’re a little dubious that they’re in a boar while the network bosses are taking a plane, but there are drinks and snacks for them on the boat. The boat ride will be short, so they go ahead and climb aboard despite the dark clouds heading their way. Tyler drives the boat while the cast can relax and drink, but as the water gets choppy, he’s knocked over and Ness takes over the wheel. They lose the navigation and the radio on the boat, and then their map gets blown away in the wind. Ness, with the help of Hayes, finds an island and heads towards it.

She hits the beach with the boat, but at least they can get onto land. They tie up the boat and head inland to try to find shelter. What they find is a castle, filled with gothic furnishings and little else. There are no inhabitants, no food, no power, and the probability of random critters having taken up residence. The group grab some mattresses from the bedrooms and put them all together in the living room, so they can stick together. They pool their resources and scavenge the food and drinks left from the boat. Once the storm blows over and they’ve all gotten some sleep, things will look better. Right?

Maybe not. The next day, things don’t look much better. They are able to figure out where they are, but the boat has gone missing, and there is no way for them to get from where they are to where they need to be. They were supposed to start filming that morning. Instead, they are making a list of their meager resources and wondering how long they’ll be able to survive before they’re rescued.

As the days tick by, the facades slip away and true feelings come out. These are exactly the type of emotional discussions that Ness had been hoping to avoid, and now they’re locked together on this small island and there is nowhere else to run. Insect bites, sunburn, hunger, frustration, desperation—all this and more plague the castaways as they try not to be killed or kill each other as they try to live long enough to do their jobs. But how much can they put up with before they crack for real?

Not How I Pictured It is a frothy look at Hollywood and it’s penchant for rebooting popular television shows and creates a situation infused with enough drama for a blockbuster thriller. The locked-room mystery of not knowing exactly how they came to be stranded on the island paired with the need to survive life on a deserted island makes for a cracking drama about perseverance, forgiveness, and hope.

I really enjoyed Not How I Pictured It and didn’t want to put it down. I liked Ness a lot and wanted to root for her, but this was also a lot of drama, and I also wanted to take a long, hot shower, grab some snacks, and take a long nap. This story is stress upon stress upon stress, but these characters dug deep and found out what they needed to not only survive the island but to thrive once they could get back to safety. This is a fun, compelling read.

Egalleys for Not How I Pictured It were provided by Kensington Books through NetGalley, with many thanks, but I liked it so much I bought it.

[Jaclyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun adventure story that just goes ridonkulously over the top in entertaining ways. (Stranded on a deserted island! Finding an old mansion! Oh, the mansion was owned by a Hugh Hefner type who left behind a collection of adult videos and BDSM dungeon! Yikes there's a gigantic snake on the island! And so on.)

The big reveal was easy to guess, though I didn't realize till the reveal that Tyler did it alone. I thought the whole time that the studio / Morris the producer must have planned it.

The one big snag for me was that the reason behind Ness and Libby's falling out 20 years ago was too flimsy. The way Libby kept acting around Ness, I was expecting some gigantic betrayal. Instead, it turned out the big terrible thing Ness did was ghost her work friends after her father absconded with all of her money.

In the big confrontation, Libby yelled at Ness about how much it hurt her feelings that she kept trying to offer Ness her support and Ness didn't want to talk to her. And like, first of all, way to make your best friend's biggest trauma all about you? Which fine, the characters were all narcissistic Hollywood stars. But to have it hurt you so badly that you hadn't moved on 20 years later? That's ridiculous.

The other big terrible thing Ness did that broke Libby's trust was accidentally blab to a reporter that Libby lost out on the role of the love interest in a Spiderman movie. Like, THAT seemed more egregious than the ghosting, but again, still not quite enough to merit how mean and bitter Libby was the entire book? Especially since Ness was drunk when she did it and so while there may have been malice, it was hardly a super planned smear campaign.

Possibly, the Spiderman thing could have worked if Libby's career had been ruined after that incident. But because that reveal came so late in the novel, it was a bit lost amongst all the other things going on, so if the author did mention Libby's career tanking momentarily because of it, I missed it altogether. Instead, my impression of Libby was that she was super successful, first with acting, then with her skincare line. So why would Ness's drunken mistake be bad enough to merit Libby being so mean 20 years later???

So Libby's present-day hate-on for Ness was just ridiculous. She kept accusing Ness of being behind everything that went wrong, and sure once or twice is fine, but not afterNess saved her from being eaten by a giant python? Libby was so adamant even after that, that I seriously considered her as a potential ultimate bad guy, because why else would she be so eager to pin the blame on Ness?