Born the child of a homo and a hypochondriac (Okay, okay. Her dad’s not really a homosexual. He just acts like it. Her mom, however, really is a hypochondriac), Sara Barron never stood a chance of being normal. At age eleven, she starts writing porn (“He humped me wildly with his wiener”). At twelve, she gets mistaken for a trannie. The pre-op sort, no less. By seventeen, she's featured on the Jerry Springer Show. And that’s all before she hits New York.
People Are Unappealing tells the strange, funny, and sometimes filthy stories of Sara Barron’s twisted suburban upbringing and deranged attempt at taking the Big Apple by storm–first as an actor (then a waiter), then a dancer (then a waiter), then a comic (then a waiter). It’s there that she meets the ex-boyfriend turned street clown. The silk pajama-clad poet. The OCD Xanax addict who refuses to have sex wearing any fewer than three condoms.
Barron has a knack for attracting the unattractive. People Are Unappealing is her wickedly funny look at the dark side of humanity.
Sara Barron’s work has appeared in Vanity Fair; on Showtime’s This American Life, NPR’s Weekend Edition, and Today; and at the HBO Comedy Festival. She is a frequent host of The Moth: True Stories Told Live events. For more, visit www.sarabarron.com. Facebook: fb.me/sarabarron1000000. Twitter: twitter.com/sarabarron
now we are cooking with gas... this is what i thought that sloane crosley book would be like. and that's a fine book, i just felt that there was a tendency she had to hold back a little - to be cautious and careful and remain dignified. and no one wants to read that. don't pretend to splatter your embarrassing secrets in a humor-memoir and still try to look pretty. it ends up being like a wb version of david sedaris. this book however, is a very funny, unselfconscious book. i don't know that if i found porn i had written when i was twelve, if i would want to publish it for the world's amusement. and that's why she is so much cooler than i am. and to anyone who thinks a lady can't be funny while engaging in frank discussions of bodily functions and needs - here is a book to disprove it. also glad to see the word FUPA in print - my friend from high school named her dog FUPA, and it was nice to see it again. (the word, not the concept, the concept i am quite familiar with) also i learned that michael stipe is an asshole which maybe isn't too surprising when you think about it, but is deeply disappointing. like when i learned that padma lakshmi doesn't tip for food deliveries. sorry, padma, you are freakishly hot, but now we can't make out. cry yourself to sleep over that one.
I enjoyed every essay in this book, laughed at many moments but kind of felt a little "oh brother-ish" when she was, once again, being self deprecating. I'm not sure why it got to me. Usually I'm all in favor of deprecation, possibly it was sour grapes (someone that can deprecate better than me?!) but I found it a bit tiresome. at points and I had to question her negative assertions of herself when she would in the next paragraph take on the suggestion that she should sleep with her friends friend (sight unseen). And he did it! Her friend said, "you should sleep with my friend when he gets into town" and she basically said, "Okay" and then THEY DID!!! After one night of drinks and goofing off they were in the sack together.
If someone said to me, "you should sleep with my friend when he gets into town" my automatic reaction would be, "ha! As if he's going to want to"* and any subsequent attempts on my part would most likely end up with me being so nervous over the prospect of sleeping with a stranger that I would send off an I'm-as-fridgid-as-last-years-East-Coast-snow-storm-vibe that would result in polite conversation and a very early, very solitary, bedtime. Not her! she not only accomplished her mission but they ended up dating for several months after.
And then the time that she fell in the street and the guy that helped her up asked her on a date and they too dated (and had sex) for months! Okay, yes, both guys were losers but still - who just gets asked out on the street? not me! I want a loser to ask me out on the street! All my losers have known me before they've asked me out - not fair.
See what I mean - sour grapes.
Still I'd recommend the book. It's funny and she really is laughably goofy (like when she tries to come up with a pick up line and end sup with pretty much the worst possibility ever). I'd love to hear her live (actually got confused and thought she was going to be at Wordstock -was wrong, dang it all anyway) because I think she would be especially amusing in that context.
*note to family members that may come across this, what I really mean is that I would say, "most certainly not! I will not even consider sleeping with your friend until I unless and until I had an engagement ring from him and even then it would only be a consideration because I would OF COURSE then wait until the wedding night"
This was fine. I feel like in the 2008-2010 time frame, I read a bunch of these "memoirs" of 20-somethings living in NYC. They all kind of sound the same, overriding feelings of "My life is so messed up! I have a crappy job, no money, and I date losers!" Somewhere along the line (I blame Sex and the City) - it was decided that every single woman with those requirements listed above needed a memoir to tell variations of the same story. At 25, they were entertaining. At 30, much less so. I understand I am not the desired demographic and also that if I hadn't read so many others like it, I would have probably laughed more. This book was part I Was Told There'd Be Cake, part Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip-Confessions of a Cynical Waiter, part I Just Want My Pants Back. It was FINE, but not for me. Why did I read it? I don't really know. I saw it at the library and remembered it was on my to-read list and decided to give it a shot. Oh well.
I had higher expectations for this book based from the reviews I had read of it. I thought it would be more humorous and less about the author tearing everything around her to pieces. I understand that from a book titled "People are unappealing" the humor isn't going to be light, fluffy and happy. However, it seems to me that the stories Barron tells don't show people being half as unappealing as she believes them to be. If she can find something the least bit distasteful about something or someone, she explains how it bothers her and how awful it is for a page or so before moving on. And the reader is just supposed to agree with her opinion. And perhaps laugh at her delusions that really just come across as sad.
While there were some humorous stories, they were situational and often left you wondering how Barron could be so dense and delusional as to put herself in such a place. Some of the stories feel more like revenge than being told with any sort of insight. She never learns her lesson, she never takes good advice, and as you read you want to ask: "what is the point?" Barron never give you one. It's one failing after another, one story of how much she hates everyone after another. Finishing it, after reading so much negativity with out any insight to balance it out, it feels like an energy drain. I think the one she reveals to be the most unappealing is herself.
This book is not intelligent, it isn't horribly witty, and it doesn't make me rethink the social situation of the world.
It is base, in your face humor, and I like that in a book. I actually think I like it more in a self aware book about how the writer is basically a complete failure as a human being and isn't even particularly funny, at least not in a way that anyone who is horribly drunk at a bachelor party would recognize.
Sara Barron congratulations you have succeeded. Does anyone else think it's weird that on the cover it looks like the women's leg is not attached to a woman?
So this is the second really awesome book i've read written by someone i went to high school with, and i'm kind of stunned that any talent emerged from my wasteland of a hometown in the first place, but there you have it: Sara is hilarious AND a good writer!
my two favorite excerpts:
1. on girls who say they're "guy's girls" (ie not friends with any girls)
"This common rumination disgusts me everytime I hear it. Disguised as some pathetic attempt at an independent streak, what someone really ought to say is, 'My ability for interpersonal connection begins and ends with my need for sexual approval!'...I prefer the title Girl's Girl. Not contingent on a penchant for fruity alcoholic drinks (though I do love a double amaretto on the rocks), the foundation for my claim is this: Between me and my close friends, flirtation and sexual tension needn't be the building blocks."
2. on Michael Stipe (insert pseudonym here) and his entourage
"Speaking through one's entourage is like wearing a toe ring: so specific and psychotic a choice, it verifies the absence of a stable mind. When I see a person in a toe ring, I know all I need to know about her. I know she's spent time in either a sorority or a hippie enclave; I know she'll use the word sweet to mean 'great.' Similarly, a celebrity uses his entourage to communicate, and I know all I need to know about him: Regardless of his accomplishments, regardless of his public persona as a sensitive artist, regardless of the part he played in ushering a gal through her depressive tweenage slumps, he's headed to hell."
the girl is funny and awesome, what more can I say?
Sara Barron is hilarious. Which makes me sorry that I didn't know her better when we grew up in the same town; she would have made it much more bearable.
I had to take off a half point for making me relive our junior high production of Guys and Dolls, and a half point for making me relive online dating.
The voice of this collection reminded me of two authors I really loved- Chelsea Handler (because she, too, doesn't edit her stories for the squeamish and tells it like it is) and Cintra Wilson (for her satirical writing on the cult of fame). The collection is like hearing a stream of hilarious stories over drinks with that ONE friend who has all the good stories and knows just how to tell them.
The newspaper review was headlined, “Hilarious essays don’t hold back.” I can agree with the latter part as Barron certainly does not hold back – one essay describes (in detail) the discovery of her grandmother’s vibrator and another the pornographic story she wrote at the age of 12 when she did not know the mechanics of sex. However, I kept waiting (and hoping) for the hilarious part. When I was halfway through and still had not gotten to hilarious, I gave up and returned the book to the library. This book is unappealing.
i am so honored that the author of this hilaaaaaaaarious book is my writing teacher, SARA BARRON. its so enjoyable, and you'll want to hang out with sara immediately when you read it. although, i must warn you: she is hotter and less retarded sounding than the self-deprecating narrator would lead you to believe. please buy the book, and if you spill something on it, buy another one because i have been told sara does not have health insurance so we gotta help a sister out.
A "memoir" in the sense that Sedaris writes "memoirs'. There are some truly laugh out loud moments in this book (my husband kept asking "What's so funny" as I broke character and chuckled as I read) along with some truly uncomfortable, yet funny, sexual situations. Barron doesn't hold back, but occasionally it would have been nice if she practiced a little PC. I don't often say that, but there were a couple instances where I got a wee bit bothered, and I'm not easily offended by books. Most notable was her use of the word "midget" rather than dwarf or little person. Overall, it's a decently written comedic look at, primarily, Barron's sex life. I will likely read her newer book to see how it all worked out for her.
Thanks to 'karen' for reminding me I had this lingering on ye olde Kindle; 'tis WAY more entertaining/noteworthy when not stoned on one's own sorrow. Also, always good to be reminded of the source of that fantastic "Twat Waffle" anecdote (which was apparently the only chapter of this memoir to truly penetrate the haze; go figure).
Also, I think if I truly had my druthers, I'd give it 3.5 stars. Starts much stronger than it finishes, also is pretty bawdy (and no, I am not a hankie-clutching old lady, I'm just very particular about my taste in humor) (OK, maybe I am sort of an old lady).
2.5 / Average of 3 for the online dating portion (because I can totally relate) and 2 for other parts (because I can't). Maybe that's a good thing: there are unappealing people out there, but thankfully, I haven't had to deal with them. Sara Barron has done it for me and I'll just watch occasionally from the sidelines.
So, this turned out to be interesting. At first I wasn't sure where she was going, but as I kept reading I started to get more and more interested. Some of the stories I could totally relate to and then there were stories I just could not fathom, which is why I love to read. I met people I would never have met and saw things I would never have seen. Sara Barron spends a lot of time telling us she is not good at, I will say writing is something she is very good at.
I really enjoy this book. It shows people what Tyrell has to go through in life. Many other people are like Tyrell no-a-days. So what if it has bad words, violence, or sexual things in it. That's how the real world is, and people need to know that. They need to be strong enough to face it. Most kids are like Tyrell in many ways. for example, most kids are having sex, all kids are cursing, some are doing drugs or alcohol, and most kids are getting into fights or arguments.
I really, really enjoyed this book. Many laughs were had and I am so glad to have come across this author. I’ll be reading her other novel in no time. Go read this one!
New York writer and comedian, Sara Barron, grew with a hypochondriac mother and gay acting straight dad (he sings Broadway showtunes). So it’s only fitting Barron would grow up to write the very funny People are Unappealing-Even Me: True Stories of Our Collective Capacity to Irritate and Annoy.
People are Unappealing covers the first thirty years of young Barron’s life in self-deprecating, mortifying, embarrassing and somewhat crude essays. Barron talks about her youth in suburban Chicago where she first made her way into acting, pursuing her bachelor’s degree at NYU to her post-college struggles as a mostly out of work actress toiling at bad service jobs.
Barron is not shy about revealing some of the not-so-cool aspects of her young life. During a school break, Barron comes across a spiral notebook filled with porn-inspired stories she titled simply “The Porn.” “The Porn” may not be most sexy erotica ever written, but it is certainly the most hilarious. A pubescent Barron mistakenly thought having an erection meant a guy couldn’t have sex, and she spelled penis as “pienus.” Her attempts at writing porn also gives whole new meaning to the phrase, “Virginia is for Lovers.”
Barron also tells us about her brother discovering their grandmother’s vibrator and about the shame she feels about her FUPA. What’s a FUPA you ask? Well, you have to read the book to find out. And Barron doesn’t feel any shame about sharing with her readers about an injury she incurred from too much masturbation.
Don’t worry. People are Unappealing isn’t totally sex-drenched. Barron parlays her fine arts degree not to fame and fortune on the Broadway stage or on a Hollywood set, but to folding sweaters at Banana Republic and serving bread sticks at Olive Garden. She suffers a mercifully short stint at the Coyote Ugly bar (yep, the one from the movie). She also encounters one of her favorite rock stars at a high-class eatery. Sadly, he proves to be a total jerk, and Barron bestows a less-than-flattering nickname on him. She never names him, but rumor has it the rock star in question is Michael Stipe.
Barron’s personal life is also a continual embarrassment. Dealing with the opposite sex often doesn’t seem worth it, but Barron gives it her best, even trying Internet dating. On one blind date, she leaves her date in a lurch. Why? Well, probably because he’s a little person. One of her ex-boyfriends ends up as a clown. Yes, he’s actually working as a clown. When it comes to hanging out the girls, Barron starts to kiss up to a thinly-veiled Paris Hilton after a brief meeting when Paris actually acknowledges her presence. Yes, some of us are desperate for the glitter dust of fame to rub off on us even if it comes from a total slag.
People are Unappealing is sharply-written and rife with hilarity. If you read this book in public don’t be surprised if you startle on-lookers from your stifled laughter. Unfortunately, the book ends much to soon, leaving you wanting more. Sara Barron is definitely a writer to keep one’s eye on. I hope she keeps meeting unappealing people.
I thought I had read Sara Barron before, but I guess I'm mixing her up with someone. Possibly Sloane Crosley. Or Sara Benincasa. I've read a lot of humorous memoirs written by funny women this year, courtesy of my sister's bookshelf and Barnes & Noble addiction, and I think this was one of the better ones written by someone I've never heard of before. Sara Barron's memoir runs a pretty familiar comedy route: weird parents, awkward upbringing, a move to New York full of bad decisions and stupid boys and gross apartments. I feel her writing set her apart: she has a wonderful way with words that makes you almost want to read them out loud. She's also a bit more poignant than some others, while doing a great job of finding the humor in dark situations.
I also loved, loved, loved that she shared the porn she wrote when she was 12 with an audience. It reminded me of the cringe-worthy journal entries that Pamie Ribon has posted. Not only does she share them, but she comments on them as well:
“I was convinced that all couples enjoyed a postcoital champagne toast. As far as I knew, where there's sex, there would be bubbly. “That was very nice,” Jenny tells Mark in scene 8. “Now I'm going to go get the champagne.” It's not the mix of sex and alcohol that I find odd, it's the champagne-specific focus. Several awkward stints as a bridesmaid notwithstanding, champagne has been notably absent from my amour-making, personally. Beer, the occasional Zima in my younger days, these are my more frequent costars.”
Stumbled across this book on Amazon. It was recommended to me because I read Mindy Kaling's book. Sometimes I found it overly self-deprecating and painfully awkward, but overall the book was very funny. Sara Barron is an extremely entertaining writer, although I have to wonder if any of her stories or characterizations are a bit exaggerated. I also thought the ending of the book was a little off - I wasn't expecting it to end on such a down note. It felt unfinished to me. Sara doesn't paint a very flattering portrait of herself throughout the book, and yet through all her mishaps, I was still rooting for her to succeed... and she doesn't really give you that satisfaction. It's an underdog story about a woman trying to succeed in the entertainment business but there's no payoff. However, her bio at the end of the book says she's been featured on Showtime, NPR, and HBO's comedy festival... so I guess I should say, good for you, Sara! I guess you found success after this book was published (and rightly so), but I still wanted a little closure at the end of the book. It didn't have to be an uplifting message, but ending the book with a story about getting drunk to numb the pain of having to hang out with Paris Hilton at a karaoke bar? Confusing. Anyway, I would still recommend the book. All of her stories are entertaining, especially the ones about waitressing, internet dating, and Mr. Clown (although it's hard to believe that's entirely true).
I found this book in a thrift store and after reading lines on the back cover like, "Born the child of a homo and a hypochondriac . . ." and "At age eleven, she starts writing porn . . ." I knew this did not belong next to children's coloring books that were already colored in and romance novels that featured Fabio on the front.
People Are Unappealing: Even Me is a book by Sara Barron which is 222 pages long. The book shows a price of $13.95 though I got it for $0.50. (Sorry, Sara!) It's a non-fiction book made up of stories from Barron's life in which she chases her dreams and falls more than short of them.
During the first few chapters, I asked my boyfriend (who had already read the book), "Does this girl do anything besides masturbate?" but as I got further into the book, I found a woman who I could relate to and that I was cheering for. She's incredibly funny and I would definitely purchase anything else that she might publish.
The true rating that I would give this book would be three and a half stars. I would recommend this to anyone who is a fan of David Sedaris or Chelsea Handler (though I would say, I found this much funnier than her book). You definitely won't be disappointed if you decide to sit down with this book on a rainy day.