Sacred Struggle: Seeking Christ on the Path of Most Resistance

by Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye

We are part of a complex Church community―full of people who think differently than we do, behave in ways we don’t always agree with, and have lived experiences we don’t share. To make things even more difficult, we also have to deal with the foibles of the people around us, our own weaknesses and sins, and the ever-present promise of suffering and sorrow in our own lives and the lives of the people we love. With all that threatens to push us further away from our brothers and sisters in and out of the Church, how can we love and support each other? How do we create meaning from our suffering? And how can we grow close to God when our own pain might lead us to wonder whether He really has the best plan in mind for us? In Sacred Struggle: Seeking Christ on the Path of Most Resistance, author and scholar Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye explores her own personal experiences within her church community, her profession, and her battle with cancer to provide some answers about how we can learn to love and appreciate the diverse collection of experiences we’re surrounded by and subjected to. Through her faithful, compassionate lens and supported by the words of academics, scripture, and Latter-day prophets and apostles, Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye shares her personal testimony of the power of Christ to understand―and relieve―our suffering while inviting us to love and support those who might sometimes be the cause of it.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Lds, Audiobook, Spirituality, Faith, Self Help

224 pages, Paperback

Published October 2, 2023

About the author

Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye is a senior lecturer in Asian studies at the University of Auckland. She received her PhD in Chinese history from Harvard University. Dr. Inouye's research includes the history of Chinese Christianity, moral ideology in modern China, global charismatic religious movements, and women and religion. Her book China and the True Jesus: Charisma and Organization in a Chinese Christian Church was published by Oxford University Press in January 2019.

A member of the advisory board of the Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship at Brigham Young University, Dr. Inouye is committed to the mutually reinforcing relationship between faith and learning. Her writings on Latter-day Saint life and faith have been published online and in print in Patheos, the Washington Post, Meridian Magazine, Square Two, and the Ensign. She and her husband, Joseph, have four noisy and joyful children, botanically nicknamed Bean, Sprout, Leaf, and Shoot.

Reviews

[Shelbi Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a powerful read for me! I really believe every LDS person would benefit from reading this. I love the insight the author brings and the viewpoints she shares on troubling church history and things that feel uncomfortable. This helps me approach major questions I have more confidently and see them differently. We need more diversity and diversity is not scary!

I also love her sharing that prophets are people - the church is people. We are good and bad and we make mistakes.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes I am just grateful that someone can articulate a concept so well and in such a way that is ultimately enlightening. Inouye's book is spiritually gratifying on so many levels. How do we feel about diversity and how do we act to be inclusive? What do the covenants that we make mean to us as we analyze our behavior towards others? Indeed, the path of most resistance might well be what we should seek.

[Beth Given · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book that acknowledges the struggle -- especially those of Church history, women's issues in the Church, and political clashes -- while encouraging the reader to continue to build covenant relationships with one another. I appreciate the perspective that through a living (and thus imperfect) Church, we can best grow to love one another through true charity, which resolves us to love one another in spite of all our differences.

This book was conversational and accessible while still being thoughtful. I'm really glad I read it!

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first discovered Melissa Inouye through the "Come Follow Him" podcast with John Bytheway and Hank Smith. She was visibly unwell, close to the veil, and yet radiated a spiritual strength that was deeply moving. Just weeks later, she passed away from cancer. Watching her speak and then reading her book felt like receiving a final testimony—offered with clarity, courage, and grace.

Inouye was a historian and theologian with deep international experience, having lived and worked among Latter-day Saints around the world. Her perspective is wide and compassionate, shaped by people and places far beyond the American center of the Church. She earned my trust, and because of that, I read her book all the way through—even when the topics were difficult.

"The Sacred Struggle" is not an easy read. She writes about Saints who struggle to feel accepted in their own congregations (painful), her own battle with cancer (heartbreaking), and current concerns around racism and patriarchy in the Church (challenging). But her tone is never bitter or divisive—it is faithful, nuanced, and rooted in discipleship.

This is a great book for anyone navigating complexity in their faith. It’s an invitation not to give up or walk away, but to lean in, to grow, and to support others on the path. Her voice stays with you—kind, clear, and committed to Christ. I’m grateful I listened. There’s a lot here to ponder, and even more to emulate.

[Tricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful book about nuanced approach to LDS church and navigating life

As I started this book, I was starting to feel my anti-Mormon culture, traditions and policies shackles get raised. I don’t know why I picked this book to read other than to provide a balance to other books I read…and there are very few Deseret Book books I can tolerate to even see the covers for. I’m a bitter member of the LDS church who still attends church and is trying to navigate how it fits in my life. I’m struggling spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. And I found SO much to love about what Melissa shared. I love and embrace (and want to explore further) what she shared about how to still be a part of this church and embrace diversity, foster inclusion and follow Jesus’s path…even if it’s not “the covenant path”. I’m inspired to be better and to move forward rather than stagnating in the indecisive stalemate I’ve found myself in. I’m inspired to approach my struggles with less resistance and with a more outward focused “how can I find growth and strength that will support others in this struggle” approach. I’m happy to read this book in January to aid in focusing the new year.

[Kaitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars because I highlighted lots of quotes that resonated with me, and found lots of her thoughts validating. But I found the jump in writing styles from academic to casual a little distracting, and didn't love the memoir-feeling parts.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Updating my review because I just found out that Melissa passed away from cancer the Wednesday I finished this book. What a gift she was and I am going to miss her writing and contribution.

[Mariah Critchfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melissa Inouye is so articulate about difficult topics. One thought that particularly stood out to me was when she described how someone asked her how she deals with all the cognitive dissonance. She said that she felt like "cognitive consonance" is overrated. :)

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maybe the best book I’ve ever read?? Melissa Inouye has been a hero of mine for years, and I wept at the end of this book as I mourned the finality of my journey with this incredible woman, theologian, and scholar. I feel so grateful for the wisdom she shared before leaving, which will stay for me long after I close the book.

[Daciana Washburn · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

I enjoyed listening to this book and some of the things it got me to think about - including how people can have different views on life and living and issues in the world but still believe in Christ and the gospel. Its a good reminder that we all come with our own experiences and we are all loved by God

[Faith · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

This book had many powerful insights and I was so impressed with the author’s background. She speaks as a completely faithful Latter-day Saint and yet condemns racism, sexism, and misogyny seen in the church culture. We need more voices like this! People willing to critique the mistakes of the church without giving up on the church as a whole.

She speaks a lot about different cultures across the world and has so many relevant stories and opened my eyes to different cultural issues I hadn’t considered.

All this being said, I didn’t rate the book higher because it’s organized strangely (as in, there isn’t really any organization at all). And after being halfway through, my sister asked me what it was about and I wasn’t really sure actually. It’s part memoir, part philosophical thinking, part cultural stories. Not bad at all, I’m just not really sure what I learned.

[David Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Harvard can educate someone like Dr. Melissa Inouye, perhaps the school that gave us the likes of Ted Cruz, Peter Navarro, and Tom Cotton isn't so bad after all. Latter Saints, at least in the United States, are sometimes seen as insular, rigid, judgmental, and politically conservative to a fault. In the extensive survey of American religion that comprised the 2012 book "American Grace," only Muslims scored lower than Latter Day Saints in U.S. favorability ratings.

Dr. Inouye reminds us that the gospel of Jesus Christ as practiced by Latter Day Saints, along with the myriad eternal truths and righteous principles taught by other faiths, should comprise a global network of acceptance and understanding that foments empathy and compassion for our fellow humans. "Sacred Struggle," written while Dr. Inouye was facing imminent death from cancer, is the best book I've read on the practice Mormonism in the 21st century.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a horrible loss, to lose this amazing woman and scholar to cancer. She had so many wonderful insights and thoughts. This was amazing., she is incredible, and we need people like her in our church.
Stupid cancer!

[Marilyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bravo! An articulate voice of reason! Dr. Inouye peaks under rocks, opens closets and sheds intelligent light where angels fear to tread. Kudos.

[Ashley Walton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book surprised me in the best ways! I honestly had no idea what to expect but I found myself highlighting several quotes that really struck me throughout the book. Honestly it felt like an extended lecture at education week! I felt Melissa’s thoughts were refreshing and resonating. She brought up a lot of points I haven’t thought much about. Love the approach of Zion and covenants. Love the whole section on alienation. I love how she views Jesus and how he interacts with us in our current world. Besides all that, I thought she was a fascinating lady, with such a cool job and a heartbreaking battle with cancer. Lots of respect for her and love love loved what she shared! Solid 4 stars for me!

[Jessica Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book wasn't what I expected it to be, but despite that I'm grateful I read it. I learned a lot, and it really made me think. I think I'll keep on thinking about it. Five stars for that.

Some of my personal pet peeves with writing content and audiobook reading were raised, but the good in this book more than made up for my minor irritations. Four stars for that.

But regardless, I would encourage anyone to give this book a read or listen to.

[Bjennas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am going to buy this book and have it to reread once a year. I never buy books and I don’t say that lightly or flippantly. It may not be groundbreaking but for me it was life changing. I needed someone to know and bring to light and accept the faults of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints without being discouraging or discounting or disrespectful. I needed/need this book and this author.

[Emma Charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic, thought-provoking, and validating! Put so many of my feelings into words and left me with optimism and fresh perspectives as a woman in the church and a disciple of Christ ❤️

[Lawana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although none of my local libraries have this book, hooray for an interlibrary loan (it came from another state). Profound insights, lovely writing, a call to action, a thought-provoking book.

[Amie · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, so, so good. A beautiful writer that in so many ways described not just the things that I struggle with, but put into words the emotions that I feel as I work through those struggles. That is, she was able to put into words those things that keep me from throwing up my hands and being done.

Many margin notes and once or twice I turned to my journal to write down things she inspired me to think about.

So highly recommend. I will loan you my copy if you want and you can add your margin notes to mine.

[Avid reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am inspired and moved. This book is important for every Latter-day saint.

[Tonya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the way Melissa looks at things. I am grateful for her insight and the time she took to put it into words for us. I wish she was still here. I would love to thank her personally and continue to benefit from her humility and insight.

[Serena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good. I loved the way she explained her experience and her faith. I have similar feelings about my faith. It was very inspiring and healing!

[Hailey May · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected, but a good read. The author is an intellectual and dives deep into some gospel concepts that can be controversial.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was absolutely phenomenal. Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye affirmed my feelings about the Church and religion in a way that made me feel so seen, while also expanding my thinking to a completely new plane. I feel so much hope and peace after reading this book. I think everyone in the world needs to hear the messages taught in it!

Some of my favorite quotes:

"Our covenants are able to bridge the gaps between us and Deity, and between ourselves and others, because they create eternal ties and shared commitments."

"To implement godly virtues, then, is to spend less time admiring God and more time learning to deal with difficult people. In a sense, when God commands, 'Anyone who loves me must also love their brother and sister,' it sounds kind of like a parent saying, 'Anyone who wants a popsicle has to eat all their broccoli and kale.' Like eating broccoli and kale, which can be tough and bitter because they're packed with fiber and nutrients, loving fellow beings who are flawed and fallible is essential for our spiritual development."

"The worst thing is to live life in a way that requires no transformative struggle from ourselves and that makes no difference for good in the lives of others."

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so honest and true. Choosing faith is not easy. I love how she grapples with huge, jarring, existential questions but still sees the good and ultimately, focuses on Christ and being our brother’s keeper.

[Tyler Critchfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read Melissa Inouye. Highly recommend!

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

First, what a pleasure to read (or in my case listen to) a well-written contemporary book! Inouye is clearly educated on how to write a well-researched, source-vetted, cited, grammatically correct, articulate book! It has been a VERY long time since I've read something this contemporary that is this well written. It has been a long time that I've read something regarding my own faith that covers difficult, controversial topics without making up excuses nor compiling endless internet "sources". THANK YOU! I see from her bio that she succumbed to cancer in 2024.

My overall impression of the book is that it is a great source for members - particularly female and/or marginalized and/or just feeling marginalized - of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Inouye is very thorough on her topics, doesn't shy away from really difficult issues and offers clear and insightful perspectives on them without trying to justify or explain things away. I have very seldom felt marginalized in any capacity in my life - certainly not at church, and I don't experience "patriarchy" as a loaded, oppressive negative word and never have. Therefore, I don't relate here, but I sure know lots of people who would very quickly self-identify as being in the groups Inouye takes time to honorably mention.

I don't agree with her that any time we are glad we aren't in such a position as person A or B, that it definitively functions as proof that all people aren't treated equally. While I certainly agree that all people aren't treated equally, and our position may be an indicator of that, yet it can also mean that one is grateful for one's own struggles and blessings versus a different bag which could just have easily been one's lot.

It also really bothered me how little time was spent on the importance of truth. Much of what Inouye mentions as being wonderful components of the gospel and of Church culture in general are nevertheless peripheral to the simple gospel message: Jesus is the Christ. He is the Son of God who came to earth, conquered death and sin on our behalf and was resurrected. If that isn't true, then all the other stuff is mere niceties. You might as well be Buddhist or Hindu or Shinto. This was a hugely glaring omission to me. Religion is not something that a person should embrace merely because they want to be part of a community. Religious community is nothing but a perk. If a religion isn't actually true, what is the point?

I thought Inouye had some really enlightening parables to share - including the parable of the driver and the translocation of parables and people very interesting. I also loved her point about Jesus choosing to work within Roman power/government ("render unto Caesar...") even though he was certainly aware of the evils of the government. To me, this carries over seamlessly into our day: So does the Church work within the constraints of the power structures (and terrible human frailty and prejudice) on earth.

I loved her point about how instead of spending time pontificating on the elephants in the room we are much better off serving people and getting to know how different people are instead of talking about them, talking at them, etc. Ask them questions and serve them!

Lots of interesting points, but I in no way identify with the victims (who are very real) in her story. I am also done to death with people (mostly women) harping way on patriarchy, being vitriolic in whatever the latest trend of the feminist movement is, etc. I am also tired of people harping on the way the Church runs things and trying to instruct its leaders on how things should be done.

Anyway, I was far more interested in Inouye's admonitions to love and serve people the way Christ did. No books do that better than the scriptures, so for me, this was largely a proxy read - meaning something to read to help me understand other people a bit better. Nevertheless, I admit that it didn't escape me that she kept her maiden name, and I also admit that a woman's refusal to take her husband's name is something I have never understood in a Christian.

[Jaymie · Rating 5 out of 5]

4-5 stars. So many great things to ponder and reflect on. I listened twice to be sure I didn’t miss anything. That was a good idea because new things resonated with me both times.

Sacred struggle quotes to ponder
“The difficulty in following Jesus. Is in following him where he invites us to go, which is often so different than places where we feel comfortable.
Jesus calls us to work alongside of him.”

“When things are hard. It doesn’t mean things are wrong.”

“God is not standing around guarding the pearly gates. He is running around in the dirt, tending billions and billions of trees. God is pruning and cutting, raking and weeding. Kneeling is the dirt to check the roots. Fretting about losing the fruit of this one or that single tree.”

“God is working for us, with us, among us!”

“We can know that our heavenly parents have worn paths into the grass around their beloved cultivations as they push wheelbarrows to and fro across the vineyards.”

“The place of alienation is familiar. All paths to eternity loop through here. More often than any of us would like. Christ was here. This place is sacred.”

“With the power Christ gives us to do his work. The ground may shift beneath our feet, yet we will find roots and flourish over and over again. In these trying times and places we will not be alone. We will be many!”

[Vibeke Hiatt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is different from any other inspirational Latter-day Saint book I've ever read. Too often authors will try to gloss over the flaws of members of the Church, while Inouye isn't afraid to shine a spotlight on them. She illustrates just how human we are and how unfair it is to expect perfection from ourselves and those around us.

I appreciate her insights into Church members around the world and how different cultures affect their religious practices. It's important for members in the United States to see how different life is for our global brothers and sisters.

While reading this book, though, I kept feeling like something was missing. Because of Inouye's scholarly writing style, I needed to rely on the Spirit to fill in the gaps. And that's what was missing: she talks at length about our heavenly parents and Jesus Christ, but rarely mentions the Holy Ghost. He is a vital link between us and God and cannot be overlooked. So many of the conflicts mentioned in this book would be cleared up or at least helped by members listening to the voice of the Spirit.