My Dear Kabul: A Year in the Life of an Afghan Women's Writing Group

by Untold Narratives CIC

My dear Kabul give me your hand, put your head on my shoulder and don't be afraid, don't think you are alone, we are here for you.

In August 2021 a women's creative writing group in Afghanistan shared news of political turmoil and the Fall of Kabul. These women were in the process of publishing a short-story collection when their world was turned upside down by the Taliban. In staying connected via WhatsApp messages, they established a lifeline; a vital space to keep their creativity alive, support each other and bear witness to the events unfolding around them.

My Dear Kabul is their story, and a collective diary of a year living under the Taliban. As they watched cities fall, schools close, families change and freedoms disappear, they shared stories of chaos, protest and flight. As a group, they reflected on the scope of female mothers and doctors, students and teachers, those who had lived under the Taliban, and those who couldn't imagine it. In sharing their stories, they created a place of community and strength in the face of terror.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, History, Writing

347 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 15, 2024

Reviews

[aimee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Condensed down from almost 20,000 words shared within a WhatsApp group chat, My Dear Kabul diaries the real-time uncensored thoughts and emotions of 21 Afghan women, initially brought together through a writing project to amplify Afghan talent, as they witness the fall of their beloved homeland to the Taliban in the summer of 2021.

A deeply heartbreaking portrait detailing how ordinary lives can be instantly uprooted through violence and war, and the impact it can have on families who suddenly find themselves stripped of their human rights & in desperate need of a new place to seek refuge.

I encourage everyone to read this.

[Arghiiw · Rating 5 out of 5]

تموم شد.
یچیزی که موقع خوندنش خیلی اذیتم می‌کرد مقاومت نکردن مردان افغان نسبت به طالبان بود. اینکه چقدر زود تسلیم شدن. اصلاً قبل از اینکه طالبان قدرت رو به دست بگیرن، شروع کردن به ریش گذاشتن.
فکر می‌کنم نجلا بود که تعریف می‌کرد که وقتی رفته بوده بانک مردها بهش می‌گفتن بره بیرون چون می‌ترسیدن از اینکه طالبان بیان و به حضور یه زن اونجا ایراد بگیرن!
یک نفر دیگه‌شون از این می‌گه که شوهرش تا قبل از به قدرت رسیدن طالبان همیشه نظرش رو می‌پرسیده و براش احترام قائل بوده، اما الان بهش بی‌احترامی می‌کنه و بهش اجازه صحبت کردن نمی‌ده. یکبار شنیده که شوهرش و دوستاش موقع حرف زدن برگشتن طالبان رو بهم دیگه تبریک می‌گفتن چون «بالاخره اومدن تا این زن‌ها رو سرجاشون بنشونن.»
یک زن افغان که توی یه کشور خارجی زندگی می‌کنه از این می‌گه که هربار با شوهرش دعواش می‌شه تهدیدش می‌کنه که «برت می‌گردونم پیش طالبان»
اگر درست یادم باشه، پرند بود که گفت انگار برگشتن طالبان بهونه‌ای بود برای مردهای افغانستان تا نفرت همیشگیشون رو به زن‌ها ابراز کنن.
و یک چیز دیگه که خیلی بیشتر از همه اذیتم کرد به یاد آوردن همه نفرت ایرانی‌ها نسبت به افغان‌ها بود.
روراست باشیم با خودمون، مشکل ما هیچوقت پناهندگی و مهاجرت قانونی نبود. اکثر ماها فقط بخاطر نژاد پرستی با اون حجم از نفرت با افغان‌ها برخورد می‌کردیم. وگرنه که می‌شد با مهربانی و انسان‌دوستی به حل کردن مشکلات پناهنده‌ها پرداخت. اینکه پناهنده‌های غیرقانونی مشکل‌ساز شده بودن دلیلی بر غیرانسانی رفتار کردن نبود هیچوقت.

در نهایت یک ماچ خیلی گنده به نرگس بابت معرفی و تهیه این کتاب. :»

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

10*
Ein zugleich erschreckendes und wundervolles Buch. Ein Buch über den Untergang Afghanistans, den Verlust von Allem, was das Leben lebenswert macht und ein Buch von Hoffnung, von so vielen Frauen, die zusammen halten und mutig sind über all das zu berichten. Es zeigt wie wichtig eine Gesellschaft, Gleichberechtigung und auch Migration ist.
Das Buch ist durch die ganzen unterschiedlichen Frauen, etliche Fußnoten und Thematik nicht leicht zu lesen, trotzdem ist es notwenig und jede der Frauen eine absolute Bereicherung für das Buch, die eine Stimme verdient. Folgend sind einige Ausschnitte dieser Stimmen...

"There were two of them. They had walked into our house with their shoes on. Now this is the worst sort of disrespect in our culture. Only thieves enter people's home in shoes and leave dust on the carpets." Maryam p.214

"I felt so bad for being Afghan. Why are we even here? Neither can we have a place on earth, nor can our hands reach the sky." Fatima p.236

"Girls are like glowing lights in the middle of a dark night. They have turned off those lights. [...] Each day, Afghanistan is going back into a bleaker rea. I'm scared of the day Afghanistan falls into complete darkness." Nilofar p.91

"One of the girls is ten years old and the other is seven. They are full of talk and joy, like sparrows, and I enjoy listening in. In the afternoons, they play together and act out different roles. Today, one was a schoolgirl and the other Talib. The schoolgirl screamed and begged not to be hit. But the Talib would not consider non-violence. [...] All I could think was how this horror has already spread into all parts of our lives and eaten our spirits like termites do. Even children are not spared." Paranad p.158

"Covering women's bodies under the burqa is only part of the story; the main goal is to throw a burqa over wome's thinking." Zainab p.266

"For several days now, whenever I raise my hands in prayer, instead of praying, I question God. I ask why he has not answered my prayers for myself, my family and my country." Farangis p.319

"The plane took off at 4pm. I was released. But displaced again: we had lost our homeland. Up in the clouds is a good place to cry and emty the heart." Zainab p.136

"I wonder, could the Taliban retain power if there were no women?" Parand p.234

"How do they expect people to love the idea of paradise when they've made the world hell for us? When their world is like this, what can we expect from their heaven?" Nilofar p.239

"War makes everyone miserable." Nilofar p.192 "I hope that war gets eliminated from the face of this world." Fatima p 237

"That's the kind of land it is: whoever visits Afghanistan once, loves it forever." Farangis p.228 Hoffentlich wird es wieder möglich sein in dieses Land zurückzukehren und sich neu zu verlieben. Diese Frauen sind Heldinnen!

'It is every human's right to live where they feel safe.' Ein Mann in Schweden zu Masoma p.287

[Debby Binns · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the collective diaries of 21 women, compiled using WhatsApp messages in 2021 when The Taliban took control of Kabul.

This book was brilliant and troubling – it showed how things changed overnight when so many people suddenly found that they had no place in the society the Taliban envisioned.

It is an intimate and very brave chronicle of life as it unfolded under Taliban rule – particularly for women and children.

[Gogo · Rating 5 out of 5]

First hand report on how political events destroy the ordinary life’s - we get to go with the authors through the shock, disbelief, dispair, while trying to find some hope for the future. These memories are very powerful and give you the insights into daily lives under the taliban regime or as of refugees. Highly recommend although it’s tough read.

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A moving and personal account from many Afghan women from around the time of the Taliban taking over Afghanistan.

[Shikha S. Lamba · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I have to recommend one book out of all that I’ve read this year - this is it!

Kudos to @untold_narratives @parwanafayyaz and team who put these narratives together to make such a powerful piece of literature that is even more necessary after the latest taliban edict - An Afghan woman cannot hear another woman’s voice.
My experience reading it - I had to stop many times because I was too overcome with emotion that ranged from anger to helplessness to fear to admiration.
My Dear Kabul is the collective diary of and an intimate look into the lives of an Afghan women’s writing group. The book comprises of the WhatsApp messages exchanged between the members of the group from the time the country fell in August 2021, for a year.

Experiencing what these women went through in real time, day after day, month after month living under the taliban- some in hiding, some rescued and flown out, some who started living as refugees in other countries, some still living at home - you won’t find such an honest and accurate account of what that year was like for Afghan women.
Among these writers are women who were teachers, a scriptwriter, a lawyer, doctor, psychologist, an engineer, office manager, NGO workers and university students.

One of the writers says “ This book is not a plea…they are not asking for rescue but to be seen.”
And that is the least the rest of us can do - See, understand and if we are in a position to help in any way - use our skills to create a positive impact in the lives of these brave, enterprising, talented, hardworking women who have had their lives pulled out from under them through no fault of their own.

There is a reason why the taliban finds even conversations between women threatening- female friendships and solidarity have proven to be highly impactful, a source of empowerment and have the ability to create real positive change in the world.
Let us make sure no such voices are being unheard. We can at least amplify and do our part in keeping these voices alive.

[Amelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading all these very real perspectives has opened my mind and heart so so much. Being born is simply a luck of the draw as to where and how. I hope that one day they can all return to their beloved towns and cities in Afghanistan, and live the way they would like.

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

the stories of these women were so inspiring and heartbreaking and freeing and painful. such an important book, I will be pushing all my friends to read because these stories need to be heard. this is the power of writing in practice

[Debbie Fadzisai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heart-breaking but at the same time hopeful.

[Louise Marron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t usually write reviews, but this book is so good and everyone should read it! I’d like to think I was already empathetic to refugees and women’s situation in Afghanistan, but this book brings a whole deeper level of understanding, care and respect for those who have gone through and are still going through it. The writing is beautiful and real. I keep thinking about these women and where they are now. It’s also a reminder of the collective power of women’s voices and lived experience. It’s rare to find a book like this, please buy it, read it, share it and feel inspired by it.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was lent this book by a friend as it relates to a project I'm working on currently. A fascinating, heartbreaking insight into the year following the Taliban's takeover in 2021. Deeply intimate and personal, both poetic and casual, it revealed new levels and depth of trauma and struggle.

Thank you for sharing your collective diary with the world. You are not forgotten.

[Francis Pellow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Radio Four Book of the week abridgment was really powerful with first hand accounts

[Evie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart-breaking, deeply moving, and intimate account of twenty-one women writers in Afghanistan after the Taliban's return to power in August 2021.

[Roos Fransen · Rating 4 out of 5]

important read, had to take breaks to process but overall very good

[Breeze · Rating 4 out of 5]

چت‌های یه گروه واتسپ خانم‌های اهل افغانستان بعد از حمله طالبان. تا حد زیادی با زندگی فعلی ما دژاوو داشت. اینقدر بار غم همه کاراکترا زیاد بود که نمی‌دونستم روی غصه خوردن برای یک نفر تمرکز کنم. کاش این زمین با ما مهربون‌تر بود.

[Joanne Parry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very shocking sad eye opener which everyone should read to raise awareness.
How and why this happens is something I’ll never understand

[Yanela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a difficult but necessary book. It is a hard testimony that evidently does not offer comfort, but it offers witness. It demands to be read not only because it’s about Afghanistan, but because it’s about broader questions: what happens when people’s rights are stripped away; what courage looks like in everyday life; how language and writing become acts of resistance.
If you care about justice, women’s rights, human rights, or simply want to understand the world better through personal stories, this is a powerful and moving read.

I recommend this read even aware that it may be emotionally difficult. It’s the kind of book that changes how you view things, not by grand theory but through individual lives. If you go in knowing it’s going to be harsh, but also that you’ll find beauty and inspiration, it’s so much worth it. By reading it and reviewing it I would like to assure these brave women and in some way let them know they are not invisible. I would also like to thank @untold_narratives for their effort in editing and visibilizing everything they are going thru.

[Dorothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend lent me this book because she knows of my work with women in Afghanistan. I recommend it 100 per cent. The writing is powerful and, while showing the deep despair and heartbreak of these women writers (and all women in Afghanistan), their resilience and courage come through very strongly. We must continue to remember them and show them they’re not forgotten. We stand in solidarity with our Afghan sisters and look forward to rejoicing with them when the Taliban are completely overthrown.

[Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very worth reading, but also quite depressing, really.

[Marco Scarpetta · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly powerful book from and about women in Afghanistan.

My Dear Kabul is a collection of thoughts, writings, emotions, and lived experiences of 21 Afghan women, gathered before, during, and immediately after the Taliban takeover. It brings the reader painfully close to the reality that half of the country’s population is living through: no education allowed beyond the age of 11, no right to work for the vast majority of women, and, in many regions, no freedom of movement, as women must be accompanied by a male guardian.

Frustration, hopelessness, anger, disbelief, and pain run through these pages and hit you hard. Reading it is an emotional rollercoaster, but one that feels necessary. There is simply no justification for ignoring the suffering of Afghan women, and My Dear Kabul is a powerful place to start becoming more aware.

I also had the chance to get in touch with the founder of Untold Narratives, who made this book possible, and to invite them to an event. The work they are doing, amplifying voices that would otherwise be silenced, is truly inspiring.

I’ve just bought and started another of their books, also written by Afghan women: My Pen Is the Wing of a Bird.

Hope you’ll get the chance to read them both and follow the work of Untold Narratives.

[Anwen Hayward · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book after first reading My Pen is the Wing of a Bird, which is the short story collection published in 2021, consisting of the stories written by the Untold Narratives writing group. I absolutely loved that book and the poignant window it offered into the lives of women who seldom get the opportunity to speak for themselves, or whose voices are often passed over in the media in favour of external political commentators.

The women whose messages make up this book – Atifa, Batool, Elahe, Fakhta, Farangis, Farishta, Fatima, Freshta, Marie, Maryam, Masoma, Mehrsa, Naeema, Najla, Nilofar, Nora, Parand, Rana, Sadaf, Samira and Zainab, some of which are pseudonyms for the author’s safety – all have very different experiences and backgrounds to one another, but are united first by their love of writing, and then by a shared terror as the ramifications of the Taliban offensive become clear. Some women are already living outside Afghanistan – Elahe, for example, was born in Iran to Afghan refugee parents, and Freshta is living in Tajikistan – and others are unable to leave, such as Maryam, whose physical disabilities prevent her from escaping. Despite their physical distances from one another, the WhatsApp group brings them together, and it’s this unity and community that really shines throughout the book as they share intimate details of their fears, their hopes, and their frustrations.

(Full review at The Global Women's Library.)

[Shafiqah Nor · Rating 5 out of 5]

A communal diary compilation of voices/writing by diverse and different #Afghan women translated, following the fall of Afghanistan in 2021 to the Taliban. What a powerful, heartbreaking and difficult read. I am so moved by the anecdotes, prose, reflections and experiences shared - fully recognizing the risks and trust these women undertook for their voices to be heard.

Everybody needs to read this.

"...this book is not a plea to the workforce but something the writers wrote for themselves.

...they are not asking for rescue but to be seen."

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A first hand insight into how the Taliban changed life for so many women in the last couple of years. To think that history has repeated itself so quickly in Afghanistan. There were so many moving accounts of how life now is for women, not only in the work and school settings, but also for those women living abroad. I loved reading about the seasons of Afghanistan and the personal interpretations of nature and how it reflected life. Amazing to read, how gradually some women have found strength and words again.

[beyond_blue_reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. These are voices that we need to hear, testimonies that we need to protect, because the world has determined to silence them. And it doesn't end here - these incredible writers are still out there, representing the millions of trying to survive in a world that is an increasingly hostile place for women to be. They are or have been right at the knife edge of extreme patriarchal violence, and we owe it to them to listen - it's the very least we can do.

[Ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a narrative covering the events in Afghanistan from August 2021, but solely from the first hand perspective of Afghan women’s WhatsApp messages. It was heart wrenching to read but some of the prose was so beautiful and poetic. It’s incredible that so many of the women still manage to cling onto hope, despite losing their education and rights. Makes you feel guilty that the world seems to have moved on already after everything they said about Afghan women for the last 25 years

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everybody should read this book. They should then sit back for five minutes & think how very lucky they are if they are not in a similar position to the women of Afghanistan. They should then allow themselves to be outraged by the way in which those same women have been so catastrophically let down by the so-called superpowers who have chosen to embroil themselves in Afghanistan in the past: and by the way in which those so-called superpowers have left those same women so completely in the horrible lurch. This is an outstanding collection of deeply moving reflections & correspondences.

[Suzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a rare thing to be allowed to read live history; these women narrate events as they are happening, often from inside Afghanistan and while it’s incredibly hard to read it is also important that their voices are heard. Their writing is sometimes beautiful and poetic and sometimes functional but the voices are unique and the biographical information at the start is helpful. I think this book is necessary and important for so many reasons.

[Cath Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Difficult to rate as a book as the text was not originally constructed with that aim. However the resulting crystallisation of the What'sApp messages vividly depict life in Afghanistan and nearby countries and convey the sustained sense of danger and threat like few other books.
Much of it makes for very uncomfortable reading at times, but the support, empathy and burgeoning friendships amongst this disparate group of Afghan women got me through.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an heartbreaking but important read, shows how quickly life can change

I really found re-reading the initial introduction of the writers followed by the "what the writers are doing now 2024" chapter after eachother at the end really highlights how their lives had been flipped upside down 💔

Such brave strong women advocating for their rights, it is inspiring but equally sad & terrifying that this is occuring in modern day around the world