Hitler Vs Santa

by Trevor Pearson

Santa and his crack-team of reindeer wage both pitched and guerrilla (aerial, mountaintop, beach, and even under the sea) warfare against Hitler and his sinister gang of petty thugs, cruel clerks, and ruthless minions – in a mad rush to save that fool Einstein (Hemingway and the Babe have gone fishing; Mrs Claus is bent on revenge!).This action-adventure-comedy (TOP GUN meets JINGLE BELLS meets WHERE EAGLES DARE meets HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER meets CHRISTMAS ISLAND meets CLUB PARADISE meets RUDOLF THE RED-NOSED REINDEER meets IMPOSSIBLE meets CADDYSHACK meets THE ROCK meets ELF meets DIE HARD meets JINGLE BELL ROCK) is PG-13 (or thereabouts, give or take)."Imagination is the most important trait by leaps and bounds because from it leaps and then bounds both curiosity and courage (for reindeer it’s good digestion)." - Santa"I hate Clauz. I just hate him! The stinker…He’s worse than Syphilis. Trust me, I know, ha!…Worse I tell you; the itch is interminable!" – Adolf HitlerMrs Claus (disguised as the Reich’s Nummer-Zwei Torturer) in dinner conversation with Adolf, “One railroad spike through the ballzen. Splack and Kaput. All’s hunky-dory.”Air Marshal “I demand answers! Don’t play with me…Where is the beer-wench? Heads will roll – mark my words – unfurl the piano wire, if that dirty French Sous Chef is getting frisky with Mein beer-wench…Bring me the beer-wench this splicken-second! And more wine, Champagne, and goulash.”Ernest Hemingway, “Fight!”Babe Ruth, “Another rum and two more hot dogs, amigo.”Einstein, “I’m too drunk to speargun Nazis.”Fidel, first-mate, mixologist and master-gunner on Hemingway’s “Freedom First – the only way forward.”

232 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 30, 2023