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Dead Monkey Rum
"A fantastically rich and entertaining piece of work with an original sharp edge."
-- Jim Woodring (writer/artist of Weathercraft, The Frank Book, and One Beautiful Spring Day)
A mixture of urban fantasy and Los Angeles noir, DEAD MONKEY RUM revolves around a stolen Tiki idol that contains the ashes of visionary artist Stanislaw Szukalski. Our heroes, an alcoholic monkey named Robert Mclintlock and a beautiful bartender named Stephanie Waterfall, must locate the missing statue in the wilds of Los Angeles before a tribe of pissed-off Yetis can get their massive, dirty paws on it. Because the obsidian idol possesses magical properties, the cryptozoological beasts intend to use it to kickstart the destruction of the entire human race.
DEAD MONKEY RUM is an alcohol-fueled voyage through the heart of Los Angeles. This tumultuous odyssey amidst the Tiki bars, illicit casinos, exclusive hotels, trains, buses, and hidden tunnels and grottoes that lay beneath the City of Angels propels our hero, Robert McLintock (who just so happens to be a wiseacre simian conman from a small island called Koshima located off the coast of Japan), from his comfort zone in Orange County, into the violent byways of Hollywood, and far beyond Southern California to the Rano Rarako volcanic crater on the remotest island in the world, Rana Nui, also known as Easter Island, where our heroes ultimately engage in a final, fierce, knockout battle with an army of homicidal Abominable Snowmen for the control of Planet Earth.
"Stanislaw Szukalski would love DEAD MONKEY RUM. This novel is addictive like a heavy drug. Make space in your calendar to read it all."
-- Irek Dobrowolski (director of the Netflix documentary, The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski)
"Yetis, Tiki Gods, Cryptozoology, and rum-filled adventure! Sign me up and tell me when the ship sails! I'm recommending this Robert Guffey novel to all my friends, family, and foes to take their minds completely off whatever they are thinking about, Wonderful."
-- Loren Coleman (Mysterious America, The Field Guide to Lake Monsters and Sea Serpents, The Field Guide to Bigfoot, Curious Encounters, and 40 other books - Director of the International Cryptozoology Museum)
"Robert Guffey's fantastic novel, DEAD MONKEY RUM, will at least bring your brain out of a coma, if not get your imagination off the couch. This is a thinly masked tribute /adventure to the late Stanislaw Szukalski and his boundless imagination. This book is a mental gymnasium."
-- Robert Williams (Visual Addiction, Hysteria in Remission, and Through Prehensile Eyes)
-- Jim Woodring (writer/artist of Weathercraft, The Frank Book, and One Beautiful Spring Day)
A mixture of urban fantasy and Los Angeles noir, DEAD MONKEY RUM revolves around a stolen Tiki idol that contains the ashes of visionary artist Stanislaw Szukalski. Our heroes, an alcoholic monkey named Robert Mclintlock and a beautiful bartender named Stephanie Waterfall, must locate the missing statue in the wilds of Los Angeles before a tribe of pissed-off Yetis can get their massive, dirty paws on it. Because the obsidian idol possesses magical properties, the cryptozoological beasts intend to use it to kickstart the destruction of the entire human race.
DEAD MONKEY RUM is an alcohol-fueled voyage through the heart of Los Angeles. This tumultuous odyssey amidst the Tiki bars, illicit casinos, exclusive hotels, trains, buses, and hidden tunnels and grottoes that lay beneath the City of Angels propels our hero, Robert McLintock (who just so happens to be a wiseacre simian conman from a small island called Koshima located off the coast of Japan), from his comfort zone in Orange County, into the violent byways of Hollywood, and far beyond Southern California to the Rano Rarako volcanic crater on the remotest island in the world, Rana Nui, also known as Easter Island, where our heroes ultimately engage in a final, fierce, knockout battle with an army of homicidal Abominable Snowmen for the control of Planet Earth.
"Stanislaw Szukalski would love DEAD MONKEY RUM. This novel is addictive like a heavy drug. Make space in your calendar to read it all."
-- Irek Dobrowolski (director of the Netflix documentary, The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski)
"Yetis, Tiki Gods, Cryptozoology, and rum-filled adventure! Sign me up and tell me when the ship sails! I'm recommending this Robert Guffey novel to all my friends, family, and foes to take their minds completely off whatever they are thinking about, Wonderful."
-- Loren Coleman (Mysterious America, The Field Guide to Lake Monsters and Sea Serpents, The Field Guide to Bigfoot, Curious Encounters, and 40 other books - Director of the International Cryptozoology Museum)
"Robert Guffey's fantastic novel, DEAD MONKEY RUM, will at least bring your brain out of a coma, if not get your imagination off the couch. This is a thinly masked tribute /adventure to the late Stanislaw Szukalski and his boundless imagination. This book is a mental gymnasium."
-- Robert Williams (Visual Addiction, Hysteria in Remission, and Through Prehensile Eyes)
192 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2023
1 person is currently reading
8 people want to read
About the author
Robert Guffey
39 books34 followersRobert Guffey is the author of Chameleo a lecturer in the Department of English at California State University – Long Beach. A graduate of the famed Clarion Writers Workshop in Seattle, he is the author of a collection of novellas entitled Spies & Saucers (PS Publishing, 2014). His first book of nonfiction, Cryptoscatology: Conspiracy Theory as Art Form, was published in 2012. He’s written stories and articles for numerous magazines and anthologies, among them Fortean Times, Mysteries, Nameless Magazine, New Dawn, The New York Review of Science Fiction, Paranoia, The Third Alternative, and Video Watchdog Magazine.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
September 30, 2023
Dead Monkey Rum opens on a hilarious scene taking place in Don the Beachcomber Tiki lounge in Huntington Beach. A monkey named Robert McLintock has a crush on the bartender, Stephanie. Soon the two are wandering miles of underground tunnels under the coastline of Los Angeles, scrambling to get away from massive, killer Yetis. What are the Yetis after?
To answer that question, familiarize yourself with Polish sculptor, Stanislaw Szukalski. I’d seen the documentary about this oddball character, and when I saw his name creep up in the narrative I knew I was in for a wild ride. Szukalski was an anti-Catholic and anti-Semite who wanted a return to Slavic pagan religions. He came up with the baked, pseudo-scientific theory known as Zermatism, in which he maintained that all humanity derived from Easter Island, and were locked into an eternal struggle with the “Sons of Yeti.”
A Los Angeles writer, Guffey keeps up the pacing in the book with the ongoing banter between this highly intelligent monkey and the attractive bartender as they traipse through the tunnels, into the subway system, and end up taking all manner of L.A. transport. This surreal Tiki-odyssey follows the clues of a treasure hunt to find a sculpted Tiki idol containing the ashes of Szukalski, to carry him to the place he wished to be buried.
I love books about Los Angeles because I love Los Angeles. On top of it, I love Tiki bars and pulp fiction, so right off there are many things to love about Dead Monkey Rum.
To answer that question, familiarize yourself with Polish sculptor, Stanislaw Szukalski. I’d seen the documentary about this oddball character, and when I saw his name creep up in the narrative I knew I was in for a wild ride. Szukalski was an anti-Catholic and anti-Semite who wanted a return to Slavic pagan religions. He came up with the baked, pseudo-scientific theory known as Zermatism, in which he maintained that all humanity derived from Easter Island, and were locked into an eternal struggle with the “Sons of Yeti.”
A Los Angeles writer, Guffey keeps up the pacing in the book with the ongoing banter between this highly intelligent monkey and the attractive bartender as they traipse through the tunnels, into the subway system, and end up taking all manner of L.A. transport. This surreal Tiki-odyssey follows the clues of a treasure hunt to find a sculpted Tiki idol containing the ashes of Szukalski, to carry him to the place he wished to be buried.
I love books about Los Angeles because I love Los Angeles. On top of it, I love Tiki bars and pulp fiction, so right off there are many things to love about Dead Monkey Rum.
September 2, 2023
Advance praise for DEAD MONKEY RUM:
"A fantastically rich and entertaining piece of work with an original sharp edge."
-- Jim Woodring (writer/artist of Weathercraft, The Frank Book, and One Beautiful Spring Day)
"Stanislaw Szukalski would love DEAD MONKEY RUM. This novel is addictive like a heavy drug. Make space in your calendar to read it all."
-- Irek Dobrowolski (director of the Netflix documentary, The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski)
"Yetis, Tiki Gods, Cryptozoology, and rum-filled adventure! Sign me up and tell me when the ship sails! I'm recommending this Robert Guffey novel to all my friends, family, and foes to take their minds completely off whatever they are thinking about, Wonderful."
-- Loren Coleman (Mysterious America, The Field Guide to Lake Monsters and Sea Serpents, The Field Guide to Bigfoot, Curious Encounters, and 40 other books - Director of the International Cryptozoology Museum)
"Robert Guffey's fantastic novel, DEAD MONKEY RUM, will at least bring your brain out of a coma, if not get your imagination off the couch. This is a thinly masked tribute /adventure to the late Stanislaw Szukalski and his boundless imagination. This book is a mental gymnasium."
-- Robert Williams (Visual Addiction, Hysteria in Remission, and Through Prehensile Eyes)
"A fantastically rich and entertaining piece of work with an original sharp edge."
-- Jim Woodring (writer/artist of Weathercraft, The Frank Book, and One Beautiful Spring Day)
"Stanislaw Szukalski would love DEAD MONKEY RUM. This novel is addictive like a heavy drug. Make space in your calendar to read it all."
-- Irek Dobrowolski (director of the Netflix documentary, The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski)
"Yetis, Tiki Gods, Cryptozoology, and rum-filled adventure! Sign me up and tell me when the ship sails! I'm recommending this Robert Guffey novel to all my friends, family, and foes to take their minds completely off whatever they are thinking about, Wonderful."
-- Loren Coleman (Mysterious America, The Field Guide to Lake Monsters and Sea Serpents, The Field Guide to Bigfoot, Curious Encounters, and 40 other books - Director of the International Cryptozoology Museum)
"Robert Guffey's fantastic novel, DEAD MONKEY RUM, will at least bring your brain out of a coma, if not get your imagination off the couch. This is a thinly masked tribute /adventure to the late Stanislaw Szukalski and his boundless imagination. This book is a mental gymnasium."
-- Robert Williams (Visual Addiction, Hysteria in Remission, and Through Prehensile Eyes)
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews