Praying Personalities: Finding Your Natural Prayer Style

by Janet McHenry

Discover the particular way God designed you to connect with prayer
You should pray in the morning. You should write out your prayers. You should make prayer lists and pray through them every day. You should pray with others or out loud. We've all heard the "you shoulds" of prayer from pulpits, presenters, and well-meaning friends. But when none of these ways to pray feel natural, what's next?
Janet Holm McHenry has studied prayer extensively, and the one thing she knows for sure is that there's no one-size-fits-all way to pray. Instead, there are different styles of prayer--and by discovering the style most instinctive to each individual personality, staying in touch with God throughout the day becomes simple and all the more joyful.
In this book, the author helps readers determine their particular praying personality by examining the praying styles of biblical people, spiritual gifts, and various ideas about personality, including the classic temperaments, the Enneagram, and more. McHenry includes scores of bulleted suggestions for developing a praying lifestyle that works for individuals. She has also created a Praying Personality Quiz for readers (available in the book and online) to help narrow down the style that will most naturally fit into how they process a prayer life.
Whether a longtime Christian who has tried various prayer strategies but can't keep up or a new believer looking to learn about this spiritual discipline, every reader who dives into this book will come away with a renewed prayer life and a greater understanding of who God created them to be.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction

248 pages, Paperback

Published February 13, 2024

Reviews

[Cheryl Bostrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once upon a time, I thought I had it wrong. Prayer, I mean.
Make a list, I’d heard. Dedicate a set time. Get on your knees. Do this, and this, and this . . .
But I’m squirmy. Non-linear. Since I'm too weak to pack boulders of concern until an appointed hour, and too clumsy to leave my buckets of joy unspilled, I pray on the spot.
That’s okay, says author Janet McHenry. We all have our own Praying Personalities. In this book, McHenry not only affirms my natural style of praying, but offers guidance for growth within it. Given all the praying styles she addresses, I have no doubt she’ll do the same for other readers, too. This book's a grace-filled feast for all of us.

[Laurie Jeron · Rating 5 out of 5]

We have all heard that you can't judge a book by its cover, it's not always accurate but the cover of this book drew me in long before it was released and I knew I wanted to read it. When you want to know about a subject you go to the experts and when it comes to prayer Janet McHenry is an expert. She has written and taught about prayer for decades.

I found freedom in the pages of this book, as I realized I had tried to fit a mold at times in my life that didn't work for me. It was like trying to put a round peg into a square hole. I no longer had to fill out a journal of prayer requests or follow a formula that wasn't part of my style or personality. As I read, I could breathe, smile and relax as I took the pieces that matched me perfectly, discard what wasn't, and combined them into my own unique style that was a perfect fit for me.

I love how the book was sectioned off into four parts. Part 1 was my favorite, as I read about many of the heroes and herines of the Faith that I have long admired and studied. I saw how I had created my unique praying style from many of them. In parts 2 & 3, Janet did a wonderful job explaining the different personality tests that exist and how they could apply to our praying personallity, as well as looking at the Spiritual Gifts which gives a bigger clue to how God wires each of us for prayer. I even found that my praying style has changed in different seasons of my life and that is OK too. Sometimes the best prayer we can pray is Jesus, help.

If you have even wanted to learn how to pray and find freedom in your prayer life, look no further than Praying Personalities. You may find you are a Friend of God or a Peace Seeker, and maybe you will find you are a unique combination of several as I did.

* I received a pre-release copy of the book for review purposes.

[Sue Kuenzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have looked forward to reading this book and found the book to be very rich and meaningful. Janet McHenry has spent years studying God's Word and how various people interacted with God. Prayer is her passion, and God has given Janet great insights into the power of God's Word to show us various ways that the people within the pages of the Bible interacted with God. She shares practical examples from her own life. Janet takes a very deep dive into the way people related to their Creator, from Adam and Eve in the Garden and throughout the whole Bible. My background is in counseling and so I was very interested to see how she would give examples and insights into the way that our individual personalities influence how we relate to God. The praying personalities quiz that accompanied the book helps each person to consider the ways they tend to relate to their Heavenly Father. Janet did a beautiful job exploring this topic. I came away from reading the book feeling so encouraged and affirmed about my prayer life. She understands that prayer is about access to God, and a very special part of how we deepen our intimacy with Him. But rather than giving us some one size fits all formula, she joyfully considers the ways that each of us were created and invites us to continue praying in ways that celebrate who He made us to be, which is very freeing. As I read the book, I felt like I was being discipled and encouraged by a godly woman with a heart for people around the world to grow in their relationship with God through the gift of prayer. This book blessed me so much.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the early years of my Christian journey, it was suggested to me that sitting quietly and contemplating a rose would enliven my prayers. Nah . . . didn’t work for me, and for a long time I felt like a prayer failure, because my prayer style didn’t fit the mold.
For those who have put prayer in a box, or for those who felt boxed in by prayer expectations, Janet McHenry has provided a service with this comprehensive, informative, and encouraging Praying Personalities. I have longed for such a book ever since reading Prayer and Temperament by Michael and Norrisey (1991). Janet has expanded the questions of Who am I? and How do I pray? by explaining several ancient and modern personality assessments as they relate to a person’s spiritual practice. Her approach is grounded in Scripture, through examples of biblical characters and their prayer habits. She includes not only personality types, but also spiritual gifts, generational characteristics, and learning styles. Her applications to contemporary life are practical and catalytic.
Those struggling with traditional expectations or nagging “oughts” will find freedom to experience prayer from their distinct starting point, and try new practices consistent with their personal wiring.
I appreciated the footnotes, which provide links to various personality and temperament tests. The book concludes with Janet’s own Praying Personality Quiz.

—Mary Holder Naegeli, author of Why I Don’t Pray: Sharing the Struggle with Saints and Sages

[Christin Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you feel that your prayers are stagnant? Are you afraid to pray in front of others? Do you feel held back from a great prayer life because of how others pray? Then sister, you are missing some vital information! The first and most foundational is to know and love the God to whom you pray! When you understand God's deep-set love for you and his sovereign purpose to work all things for your absolute good it will be a constant delight to speak with him, and any fears or expectations will be wiped away simply because you rest in the confidence that he DELIGHTS in meeting with you. And then, sweet sister, dig into Praying Personalities! When you realize that you were designed uniquely, and that the way you were crafted was purposed that you might know God more and better understand his love for you, you will be encouraged to love speaking with Jesus in the way he designed you to speak! Praying Personalities looks at the many ways we uniquely approach prayer with the encouragement that Jesus hears each of our hearts, and reminds the reader that there is no way to "pray wrong" when we humbly come before the Lord. RECOMMENDED: for the younger Christian, the woman who is held back by unfounded expectations of what prayer should look like, or for the gal who feels too self-conscious to pray with others.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my all-time favorite book of Janet’s.

Have you ever joined with a group in prayer about a situation and been surprised by the different styles and approaches of your prayer partners? Janet McHenry’s clarity of insight into the heart and personality behind prayer astonished me. It’s new, and it’s fascinating.

This is also a must-read for anyone who has felt inadequate or incomplete in prayer. This text will redirect your outlook as you delight in God’s creation of so many different personalities that collectively mirror God’s manifold perspectives.

While Janet McHenry proposes to help us find our own natural prayer style, her work is much richer than that. We glimpse—from well-loved biblical patriarchs to generational patterns—how and why each person relates to God so differently and prays so uniquely.

Her summation of personality types is excellent, easy to apply, and well-adapted to her reflections on various people and their recorded prayers. The way she incorporates spiritual gifting also expands one’s understanding of prayer styles. By the end, the reader not only grasps his/her own prayer style but also is freed to celebrate the very different patterns of others.

What an amazing book!

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all know prayer is essential to growing as a Jesus follower. And we've inherited not only pre-conceived ideas about what prayer is, but also countless methods for how to pray. But most of us are exhausted from all the "shoulds" and "musts" attached to prayer.
What if we could learn how to pray as Jesus did? More than that, what if we could learn how to pray the way Jesus has uniquely designed us to pray?
This is what Janet McHenry's book offers us: a biblical guide to praying in the way God made us--from the inside out. She offers us several "lenses" through which to view and understand prayer: temperaments, Enneagram, generational prayer styles. What I most appreciated about Janet's approach is the freedom I felt as I devoured this practical guide to prayer. With each page, I felt God invite me to breathe deeply and rest in His loving invitation to grow in our prayer relationship in new ways that fit who He's made me to be.
Looking for a whole new way to grow in prayer? This is your guide!

[Freida Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many books out in the world on prayer. So many thoughts and opinions. Prayer is powerful and can cause us great joy and great confusion. How do you "pray without ceasing"? What is the 'right" way to pray?

Gently and with great insight, Janet McHenry has penned a thorough primer on how to begin and continue a life of dialog and communion with God. Using personality traits, our own unique God given gifts and examples from the Bible and 'real life', she leads us to find our personal 'fit' for prayer. The doors open to reveal the way a unique 'you' was formed by God to commune with Him and develop a deep relationship with the God who loves us each and every one. If you have ever desired to be a prayerful person, but found yourself floundering in that land of 'not good enough'- this book will lead you to understand that prayer is not a 'one size fits all" experience, but is as beautifully personal as you are to God.

[Sheryl Giesbrecht · Rating 5 out of 5]

Praying Personalities: Finding Your Natural Prayer Style is a welcome resource for anyone who wants to deepen and improve their prayer time. Whether you have prayed in a group or solo, silently or aloud, been praying for years or want to find out how to pray with more intensity and intimacy, this book covers a variety of insightful topics on prayer. From her thirty-plus years of experience, author Janet Holm McHenry artfully weaves personal illustrations, Biblical examples, and her perception of how differing personality types affect praying styles. I found a delightful and helpful bonus in the section on spiritual gifts, affirming several attributes of my personal prayer life. The author’s insight and wisdom gave me clarity and confirmation, I know it will for you, too. This book is a valuable and practical resource for every Christian.
Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner
From Ashes to Beauty, Inc.
www.sherylgt.com

[Christine Kolakowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Does your prayer life need a fresh new perspective? Are you uncomfortable praying in a group? Do you feel like your prayer style is just different? Janet Holm McHenry’s book Praying Personalities may be just what you need!

Janet’s book discusses the praying styles of biblical people, generational differences in prayer, and also touches on classic temperaments and the Enneagram plus shares other ideas about our God given personality.

Also included is a Personality Quiz to help narrow down your natural prayer style, bulleted prayer pointers, and discussion questions at the end of each chapter. You can easily use this book individually or in a group.

Want to have a prayer life that is as unique as you? Praying Personalities by Janet Holm McHenry is the book you have been waiting for!

[Lisa Baldwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engaging with God in prayer is a powerful, life-changing practice that is available to all of us. But even people who have been praying for many years sometimes approach prayer as a requirement rather than a joyous privilege. Janet McHenry’s new book Praying Personalities welcomes readers into a world of fresh insights that helps us connect our unique temperament to the manner in which we approach prayer. God has gifted each of us with a unique identity that is designed to interact with his Spirit. Praying Personalities will help you match up your individual traits with specific “prayer pointers” that will help you draw closer to God in prayer. There is even a Praying Personalities quiz that will lead you into greater self-awareness of your spiritual attributes and how they can strengthen your prayer life. There is no single way to pray—it’s as unique as you!

[Shrinker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prayer. This simple word always draws a plethora of responses when it comes into a conversation. Janet has equipped us with many practical examples and much biblical teaching to help in those discussions. She has intertwined personality styles, spiritual giftings, natural tendencies, biblical praying styles and even generational and familial background together to help take practical steps to talking with our holy and almighty God - the personal God who so desperately longs for relationship with us. I will be sharing this book with many, as well as referring back to it often to help both myself and others pray as James says, ‘The effectual and fervent prayer of a righteous person availeth much.’ May God bless you as you delve into the gold nuggets in this book.
(I had the privilege of receiving a preview copy to read.)

[Valerie Acres · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! Praying Personalities is like five books in one…all worthy of 5 stars! If you have any interest in prayer, this is a must read. You will learn the background and praying styles of key figures in the Bible and then dig into various factors that impact the praying style that will work best for you: personality profiles, generational characteristics, learning styles, and spiritual gifts. Praying Personalities is very well-researched by an author with a journalism background and its contents are communicated effectively in the down-to-earth style she perfected during years as a teacher. There’s even a fun personality quiz at the end. The book’s bottom line is that nobody gets a Get-Out-of-Prayer Card—and that’s because there is no wrong way to pray! Read the book. Learn the prayer styles. Pick what will work for you. Then pray. God is listening.

[Deb Gruelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did you ever wonder why a certain way of praying seems to work better for others than for you? Janet McHenry, has written another great book on prayer that I’m loving: Praying Personalities: Finding your Natural Prayer Style.

It helps us discover the praying style most instinctive to our personality. She looks at the praying styles of biblical people, spiritual gifts, and personality traits that help us find the style that’s most natural to us.

It took me years to figure out that writing down my prayers each morning in a prayer journal works the best for me. One reason is that my faith grows as I go back through my prayers and highlight how God has answered them in such personal ways.

I might have figured this out earlier if I’d had this book to help me. If you feel intimidated because others pray differently or you have questions on prayer, check it out!

[Alice Crider · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having tried so many prayer disciplines--pray for an hour every morning, pray before bed at night, pray at mealtimes (especially in restaurants to be a good Christian witness), pray before traveling, pray for everyone and everything on a long list, pray in a closet--I found this book to be a surprising relief. It was uplifting to discover my prayer personality (good to take the quiz before reading the book) and realize there is no right or wrong way to pray, no perfect time or place to pray. God is always listening and responding, no matter where we are or how we pray. I appreciate how Janet McHenry kept pointing every personality type to the Bible and toward a deeper relationship with God. He is delighted to meet with us just as we are.

[Laurie Davies · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you struggle to commit to prayer or “figure out” how it’s supposed to work, you may just discover your best prayer style in Praying Personalities—at the intersection of your personality type, learning style, spiritual gifts, and your generation. As a Sanguine/Enneagram 7, linguistic-learning, teaching- and mercy-gifted Gen X-er, I found many prayer strategies in the pages of “Praying Personalities” that make absolute sense to me. (Even being called out for having the toughest personality to maintain spiritual disciplines made sense. Gee, Janet—you didn’t have to put me on blast!) I can’t wait to incorporate many recommendations from Praying Personalities into my own prayer life. Such a helpful resource!

[Karin · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you've ever struggled to succeed in your prayer life, this is a fascinating book that could help you figure out why. McHenry pulls together Scripture, psychology, and experience to examine why different people can pray for hours on their knees while others writer every prayer in a journal.

McHenry looks at the different types of pray-ers in the Bible before diving into a study of personality types (based on several different personality type tests) and even generational differences. Not only will it help you understand why different prayer style do or don't work for a person, it also includes a pray-er quiz to help readers better understand their natural attraction to different prayer types.

A fascinating read.

[Rebecca White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book that shared in depth not only about our personalities but so many different ways that we could pray. I loved how the author showed how different people should lean into their strengths to find the best ways for them to pray. Throughout each chapter as she discussed a specific attribute or style she also provided points to think about to let the reader reflect on if these prayer styles might work for them. Without saying one way of praying is better than another instead just sharing many ways to pray and helping the reader find the ones that are best for them so they can grow closer to God and see his answers in their own lives and the lives around them.

[Casey Hilty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Janet McHenry is an expert on prayer. She’s learned that one person’s prayer wont look like another’s. There’s no one-prayer-size-fits-all. God has designed each of us to have a personal relationship with Him, but our different God-given personality types allow for different communication styles. Janet takes a journalistic approach to discovering prayer styles within the Bible and personality types according to the most common personality tests. This book is a must-read for believers who want to grow their prayer life to connect with God by His design.

[Maggie Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are plenty of books on prayer. Lots and lots of them. But I’ve never read one prior to this that helped me understand conversing with God in ways that come so naturally to me. In Praying Personalities, Janet McHenry skillfully helps readers understand what Jesus taught and practiced when it comes to prayer, while providing tools to help everyone discover the prayer styles that work best for them. I’m recommending this invaluable resource to all those longing for a richer, more meaningful life of prayer.

[Erin Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve always felt insecure praying out loud around other people. There are people who are REALLY great with words, and others who struggle to string words together. This book breaks down those different prayer styles, and really puts perspective on different personalities. I truly enjoyed learning about my prayer personality, and no longer feel inadequate and basic. Prayer is prayer whether it’s a gorgeous flow of words or a simple repeating of the beautiful name of Jesus. Our King hears them all!

[Tracie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Janet Holm McHenry’s Praying Personalities presents biblical examples of various praying styles. The tone invites readers and doesn’t box them into only one way of praying. “Prayer Pointers” at the end of each chapter encourage readers to expand their prayer life with practical suggestions. Although we may have a tendency toward a certain praying personality, McHenry offers many tips to enrich our prayer life. I plan to refer often to this book as a resource to grow my prayerful walk with God. Highly recommended.

[Pastor Sharen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a quality book that teaches how to find your best praying style. If you have been stuck wanting to pray and connect with God, this book will help you learn to pray in freedom. The praying personality quiz helps you understand your best way to connect with God. This would also be a life-changing Bible study for groups of all ages. Having been a pastor for years, I see this as a resource to encourage the whole church. I highly recommend this book!

[Lee Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must-have book for every Christian! Janet's book helps us understand our unique prayer style so we see prayer as a privilege and not a chore. She explains the various prayer styles, personality types, and spiritual gifts. Praying right helps us cultivate a deeper connection with God and strengthens our faith and resilience. A ton of great information is packed in this book. I will be referencing it time and time again!

[Lisa G · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was challenging and refreshing all at the same time. Janet explains about personality styles, learning styles and generational styles to emphasize there is no one “right” way to pray. She gives lots of practical ideas on how to pray with ultimate goal of having a praying lifestyle. Find one or ten ways, but pray with the reward of an intimate relationship with our Father who loves us just the way we are.

[Susan Maas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how this book looks at personality from different angles, giving great insights into how different people might approach prayer. Janet McHenry views personality through several lenses, including classic personality theories, spiritual gifts, learning styles, and even generational differences. She uses people in the Bible, as well as personal examples, to illustrate the different types of people and how prayer might be more effective for them.

The book contains a short quiz to help the reader discover his or her prayer personality. Interestingly enough, I found myself to be exactly equal in each of the four categories. However, this means I can draw from the methods given for all of the types. Which leads to the best part of the book—at least to me. After each description of a personality type, McHenry gives suggestions for ways that person can make prayer a regular part of their life and make it more meaningful to them. I plan to go back through the book again, highlighting the methods that I feel would work best for me—and begin to incorporate them into my life.

Praying Personalities is a very practical book, backed up by biblical support and effective examples. I recommend it to anyone who feels their prayer life is not where they wish it could be.

I received a pre-publication copy with no requirement for a positive review. My thoughts are entirely my own.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Janet McHenry is a wonderful author on the subject of prayer, and I have enjoyed her books. She has now made a wonderful addition! In Praying Personalities, Janet uses her engaging writing style to share how we can each individually utilize our own personality to connect in prayer. This book is a such a wonderful read for believers who want to grow their own personal prayer life.

[Kathy Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are many books on prayer but "Praying Personalities" is unique. Janet McHenry's book tells us how to find and pray according to our natural prayer style. I find her insights enlightening because they help me pray without guilt or comparisons. I appreciate all of Janet McHenry's books and I'm glad she has added this one to her long list of significant books.

[Teresa L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Praying is a personal conversation with God not a set of rules to be followed. Janet brings this alive when she shares how different people in the Bible prayed in a style that was their own. You will be encouraged and inspired to pray the way God created you to be.

[Teresa Moyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prayer is not a one size fits all activity. We were each created uniquely therefore how we pray is unique as well. Janet McHenry teaches all the different praying styles that match to our unique personality. So, if you struggle developing a consistent prayer life then this book is for you.