Secrets

by Paul Tournier

A photograph hidden at the bottom of a drawer, a diary carefully locked away, a memento recalling the past - to have these and other secrets is one of our basic rights, says Paul Tournier. Secrecy is vital in our lives. The small child, totally dependent upon his parents, must free himself little by little as he matures. His secrets are the instruments of that emancipation. Keeping a secret is the first step in becoming an individual; telling it; the second step, is even more important. Those who never give of themselves remain individuals rather than persons. Those who tell their secrets - voluntarily - forge a link with others and become persons. This double action of withdrawing and giving is essential in the dialogue between child and parent, patient and doctor, husband and wife, and especially between man and God. To refuse and then surrender in our relations with God - to feel ourselves distinct from him, to choose him freely, to tell him our secret, and thus to know his love - is to become a person in the full sense of the word. Combining insights of religion, psychiatry, and common sense, this book should be read by parents, pastors, teachers, social workers, husbands, wives - in short, anyone who has ever kept or told a secret. --- from book's dustjacket

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Faith, Christianity

Hardcover

First published June 1, 1976

About the author

Paul Tournier was a Swiss physician and author who had acquired a worldwide audience for his work in pastoral counselling. His ideas had a significant impact on the spiritual and psychosocial aspects of routine patient care, and he had been called the twentieth century's most famous Christian physician.

Reviews

[Bec · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting premise, not sure I agree with the conclusion.

[Covenant Presbyterian Springfield Ohio]

Call Number: 155.6 TOU-6

Available.

[Christine Nabil · Rating 4 out of 5]

أنا قرأت الترجمة العربية للكتاب ده وهو مفيد جدا جدا لتوعية الأباء والأمهات لأهمية أن يكون للطفل والمراهق أسراره الخاصة به وقد إيه ده بيساعد في بناء أو هدم شخصيتهم وإستقلاليتهم

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

This small book, adapted from a lecture given in 1963 addresses the function of secrets in the three levels of formation of the person. Very interesting.

[Rose Stubblefield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Starts with a simple and relatable story about a little girl and her mother and the significance of secrets in our relationships. He talks about parents who get irritated about their children keeping secrets and then says: "It is somewhat in the hope of opening their eyes that I am writing this book." People often wonder why they pray certain things to God even though He knows everything already. I really liked Tournier's answer to this on page 58 (don't want to spoil it...). He starts this short book small but ends big, with the knowledge of God. [The version I read was translated by Joe Embry and ends on p. 63.]

[Martha Highfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Swiss psychiatrists explains the role of secrets in developing individuation and then personhood by sharing those secrets with confidante's and finally with God. To me he seems the early version of Jordan Peterson.

This book is highly readable, a manageable <100 pages, and an adapted lecture. Written in the 1960s before the era of so much pharmaco-psychological management, I began to wonder if we have not lost much alongside that gain.