Weird Medieval Guys: How to Live, Laugh, Love (and Die) in Dark Times

by Olivia Swarthout

Live, laugh love and die in the Middle Ages with Weird Medieval Guys!

Explore what your medieval life would have been through a choose-your-own-adventure full of quizzes, how-to guides, diagrams and flow charts that takes you from your birth to your gruesome end, revealing your patron saint, the fate of your love life and the trials and tribulations you faced along the way.

Then, discover everything you need to know to survive the natural world, from stripping naked to survive a wolf attack, decoding the significance of birds visiting your sickbed and brewing love potions all while learning about the magical gemstones found in the heads of toads, horrifying basilisks and saintly hounds - all illustrated with the very best ancient drawings of beasts, birds, fishes and serpents from all four corners of God's creation, drawn by people who definitely saw these creatures with their very own eyes and lived to tell the tale.

Chock full of hilarious, mad and bad advice for surviving and thriving on the mortal plane, this complete guide to life in the dark ages is guaranteed to make you laugh.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Medieval, Humor, Art, Medieval History, Historical

208 pages, Hardcover

First published November 2, 2023

Reviews

[K.J. Charles]

Entertaining coffee table book with lots of good reproductions of bizarre medieval images. It's a comedy thing rather than informative but an amusing sofa-coma Christmas read.

[Alan (on December semi-hiatus) Teder · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Old Medieval Weird
A review of the Square Peg hardcover (April 9, 2024) of the Vintage hardcover/eBook (November 2, 2023).

This is a curated survey of images recorded in medieval manuscripts. The book is in 2 parts: human life and a bestiary. For the most part it is the more absurdist and comic images used rather than the grotesque. Commentary with some decision trees and survey questions are included. The images are often digitally enhanced for clarity as the original manuscripts may be faded.


Enhanced medieval bat image shown with original. Image sourced from Weird Medieval Guys Twitter/X . Original manuscript from Oxford Bodleian Library, MS Ashmole 304, fol. 47v.

A thorough index of sources is provided as an appendix. The table of contents gives you an idea of the subjects covered.


This is more of an art book with comic commentary than historical information as the context of the images are not stated. Still, a pleasant GR 4 rating for me.

Trivia and Links
The inspiration for the book comes from the author's Twitter/X account Weird Medieval Guys and the same titled podcast available on Spotify here.

[Koen Crolla · Rating 2 out of 5]

Books based on Twitter accounts rank somewhere between books based on podcasts and novelisations of superhero movies, but I do like Swarthout as a person to some extent, so I thought I'd give it a go. It does contain a good number of pictures of weird Medieval guys, but the comedy typed around them is purely vibes-based and cavalier about leaning into common myths about the Middle Ages, which makes it hard to enjoy.
Swarthout does say that she's not a historian, but this could have been much better.

[Dan · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars. It was a short enough read that it wasn’t too taxing to finish, but I definitely could’ve used more information about the medieval time period. I understand it’s mostly just meant to be comedic, and it is occasionally, but there could’ve been a bit more to it. I was tempted to remove a star because she referred to the Book of Revelation as “Revelations” which always kind of irks me. It’s like, you’re doing research, research the proper name, (I know it’s just a pet peeve that annoys me, but it just makes you sound less intelligent).

[Rhi Carter · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice coffee table book with some funny pictures and a couple of decent jokes

[Sarah AF · Rating 4 out of 5]

CUCURBITARIUS (LATIN, NOUN) A lover of gourds and squash

It saddens me that I have little opportunity to use this in my day-to-day life. Sigh.

Now I don't actually follow the Twitter account, but the cover was cute and the blurb was fun so I decided to give this a whirl and it was...cute and fun (and also a bit alarming from time to time). Drawing a lot of inspiration from medieval art of varying quality and vision, it was a witty exploration of the European societies that would lay the groundwork to become us which, frankly, seems like a miracle with some of the stuff I learned about in his book!

My favourite bit? The looming threat that SNAILS posed. Their street cred *really* took a nosedive post-Renaissance, eh?

[Bonnie_Rae]

It is very cute. Love the artwork within, especially how monks thought various creatures looked like - crocodiles and bats in particular.

[Virginia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a VERY small (with minuscule print and tiny illustrations) book that I think was aimed at adult readers who already have a good grasp of medieval art, customs and lifestyles, as it doesn’t really add anything to the average person’s knowledge base. It was somewhat funny but less informative than I’d hoped.
The humour stems from the magazine-format personality tests resulting in sketchy answers, and sophomoric descriptions of medieval beliefs. The list of illustration credits at the end was interesting to glance through, and might be a basis for further research. I think the value in this book comes from the pictures and descriptions in “The Bestiary” section. An interested reader might want expand their knowledge of the medieval understanding of animals by picking up The Deorhord: An Old English Bestiary by Hana Videen.

[Kimi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was very cute.

[krentenbol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Millennial humor ):
Erg pop sci ):
Leuke tekeningen in manuscripten (:

[Hailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

me if i was a book

[Lizzy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The weird little guys ARE present, as promised, but the images are often really small and it’s full otherwise of vibes-based humor, medieval stereotypes, and very little in the way of insightful or entertaining facts. It starts as a choose your own medieval (loosely used) life and then becomes a bestiary. It feels like a lazy cash grab. The author (at their own admission) isn’t a historian, but more of an actual historical spin with some humor thrown in, instead of the opposite, would have made this feel less like a waste of time coffee table book. The title is misleading, and the book is weirdly organized and its purpose seems muddled.

[Paige]

DNF at p91

I so badly wanted to like this book — I love her twitter account by the same name — but it just isn’t working for me. Pictures from manuscripts, without any context and with lots of humorous (or intended to be humorous) quips. I didn’t expect this to be a textbook, but I did expect it to have a bit more actual information.

Reminds me a lot of the Museum Bums book.

11/16/24

[maya · Rating 3 out of 5]

i thought this was interesting and kinda silly like an odd, slightly disjointed collection/blend of medieval art with myths and facts and also a choose your own adventure type thing with silly recipes and personality tests and also a bestiary but mostly a lot of poking fun at things from taken mostly out of context. i really wish there was more informative content in this book (kinda the main reason i picked it up) but what more could i have expected from a twitter-account-turned-book?

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Based on her successful social media account, Swarthout pulls together various images from medieval manuscripts to highlight life from back then. Amusing and with beautiful illustrations this is a marvellous book to dive into.

[Corinne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, enjoyed the critters

[Avery · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute book, I loved the bats

[Stefano Cucinotta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un curioso table book dalla grafica accattivante. È zeppo di illustrazioni bizzarre (da miniature e opere d'arte medievali) ma mi aspettavo contenuti un po' più divulgativi e meno caciaroni. È ok da far vedere agli amici, e in libreria fa una bella figura.

[Rebecca Fell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did what it said on the tin, entertaining with some cracking medieval manuscript illuminations and illustrations!

[Kate Mozier-Tichy · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a historian and lover of Medieval History.... hilarious. I am definitely buying this book for my collection!

[Sydney Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s good for what it is: a funny take on medieval European culture while also reminding readers of shared humanity/humor we have with people who lived over a thousand years ago. I wish it was more informative but I guess this book was meant to be more accessible than scholarly.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unhinged. Love it.

(Also, I’m a huge fan of how OS did citations for the manuscripts.)

[Chuck · Rating 1 out of 5]

A brutal let down. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was prepared for some laughter and silliness or some bizarre-but-true stories coupled with art or honestly anything... but there's barely any content in this book. The images from the manuscripts are nothing really that amazing or silly (though they are fun to look at on their own), in fact I feel like I've seen many of them before. The ancillary text and games actually detracted from the appeal by trying to make light of stuff that is deliberately taken out of context. Har har its from back in time so the people were silly! What was the purpose of this book???

[Gortius Octavo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Una bonita colección de ilustraciones medievales con contexto. Los comentarios aportados en el libro son divertidos y genuinamente interesantes. Pero tuve la sensación de estar leyendo propaganda cristiana cuando hablaba del “origen del mundo” o a las cruzadas. Si lo encontráis en una librería, lo recomiendo, es una lectura ligera y un buen regalo.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun read that was educational too. Swarthout has compiled an impressive amount of fun illustrations and presents them in a creatively entertaining way. A good read to pick up and read a bit at a time. I always looked forwar to sitting down with it.

[Olga Kolesnikova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading is typically a solitary activity, but this is the kind of book that makes you call out to your partner in the other room, "I need you to give me a weird medieval by-name!" and "Come and look at this weird medieval cat!"
Fun for the whole weird medieval family.

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read a coffee-table book! Achievement unlocked!

I bought this book because I recently moved to Spain and medieval art is now everywhere around me. The book has an incredibly good PR - I think I bought it after reading an article on CNN and then I saw it in a couple of other high-profile web sites. I have never read the original blog though and never heard about it before.

I have to say that after reading this book I learned nothing about medieval art. There are a lot of pictures from manuscripts and nothing about those manuscripts. The text is funny, but it's hard to understand if the author is making things up, or quoting the manuscripts, or summarizing some folklore. I was expecting something like History of Beauty and this is definitely not it.

It is funny and the quality of the print is pretty high. Also it made me think about hedgehogs and how wrong my childhood's image of a hedgehog with an apple on its back really was... Seriously, I never thought about that before. This is why neutral three stars (but don't buy it unless you can put it on an antique coffee table where it would fit right in).

[Kathi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Weird Medieval Guys by Olivia M. Swarthout is a funny read. She collected pictures from medieval ages and put them together with funny (and invented) stories. We walk through the circle of life and meet many creatures of the medieval ages.

A friend of mine gave me this book for my last birthday and I first thought that it might like a fun academical book. But I realised pretty fast that Swarthout is not a historian, which made me a bit nervous. However, my worries were of no need! This book is just a really funny read. I had so much fun reading it.

We walk through all stages of life and there are funny quizzes about your medieval job, your love life, how you'll die and many more. All the little stories are accompanied by funny pictures from the medieval times. Afterwards there is a Bestiary with lots of animals and not quite human beings. Everything was designed wonderfully.

This book was such a fun read. I had a wonderful time and will probably show this book to everyone. It's not academic, so don't expect real historical facts, but it's just an overall funny book that looks perfect in your bookshelf.

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not sure what I expected here. The book was enjoyable, though not as much as I’d hoped. It is short, light on history, full of quizzes, and religiously irreverent. Weird medieval imagery fascinates me, so I’d have liked a little actual background behind them. My favorite oddities here were probably the cat and bird strapped with rockets (I’m mystified) and Pontius Pilates’ human-faced “dog” (I’m terrified). Overall, there are some chuckles here, but it’s probably best left as a Twitter account.

[Mike Bigelow · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a medieval scholar or historian who wants an academic expostion of those quirky and odd drawings in the margins of the medieval manuscripts, this book is not for you. If you're looking for a humorous look at medieval life based on those wacky and weird little drawings, this is a fun book to read before heading to bed or waiting in the doctor's office. As can be expected some parts are funnier than others. But in general, Swarthout's book gives a lot of chuckles and smiles. Thanks!