4.5*
This is political satire at its best.
This book reminded me so much of George Carlin & Bill Hicks. Following is a profane thingy I wrote. Read at your own risk. Judge me all you want. I'm gross & wicked, so that's how it comes out.
A ciggies rant:
I envy that fucking Cuban Cigar. He's grubby, stout, unattractive, but that fucker gets to last. He gets circumcised before he's even lit into this world, before an affluent ruffian of a human takes the first drag. Ha, his life ain't perfect, but at least he still gets to last. I've a life span of 3-7 minutes, and that too luckily, if I am not incessantly dragged by a moron human, while he gets to last until eternity. Fuck life, its unfairty, & its brevity. The one shot I have, to get out of this ephemeral imbroglio, is to get into one of those movies, I know that's only for the good-looking ciggs but at least, the burnt me can feature in one of those ashtrays. In the last few micro-seconds of my existence, I shall become immortal. I am still thankful though...to our old bearded-deep-voiced cigg god, to not have come across the wicked gassed people. Wicked is a euphemism here, they are the devils of our own pseudo Ciggy-Iggy pop hell. Thinking bout them, fear gushes through my slender refined stick-ye figure, these neo butt-chug-erring bohemians, cig world Nazis, who prefer asshole cancer over the lung one, make me tobacco boiling sick. I believe in unprejudiced living too, but also more importantly unfilthy living. And there had been a time in my life, when I was obdurate, when I was devoted, to the cause of getting my fellow cigarettes out of their bigotry. I thought humor was the key, not discourses & alterations. When cigarettes laugh, that's when their guards are down, inhibitions & priggishness forgotten, a new idea implanted in their minds, as they laughed on themselves. I've turned cynic now, I've not the time to make substantial changes to the way cigarettes think. It was vanity that had prompted me to get other ciggs to change as it suited me. I've realized my mistake, I should just have a good time, in these few minutes I get to exist. Get my butt kissed by a voluptuous-crimson lipped beauty, her slight warm tongue would touch my filter tip, soothe me, making all my suffering worthwhile. As for humans: I may seem pernicious to some, ostentatious to others. But I have no stakes in your games humans, I just don't give a fuck. No thank you, for smoking me.