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The People Factor: How Building Great Relationships and Ending Bad Ones Unlocks Your God-Given Purpose
The relationships in your life will make the difference between happiness and misery.
The right relationship will launch you to the heights of achievement; the wrong one will tether you to mediocrity. Your relationships will be your sources of greatest joy and your venues of greatest pain. Van Moody says, “When people show you who they are, pay attention.”
We need to undertake the important task of evaluating our relationships intelligently. We need to recognize the people with whom God has called us to walk in mutually beneficial relationships and to identify those who will derail our destinies or hinder His purposes for our lives. It is high time we cultivate our Relational IQs, understanding not only how to build great relationships but also how to avoid or skillfully exit bad ones.
Van Moody saw this need every day of his pastoral life, but he could not find a concise, practical resource for people who need to become more relationally savvy. He needed a beyond-the-basics study guide for Relational IQ. The People Factor is his solution.
God works in our lives through our relationships. Yet, all too often, we get our relationship advice from the most toxic sources we can find. The People Factor is based on the most effective, trustworthy relationship book of all the Bible.
If you hunger for a richer, more fulfilling life, your Relational IQ is the place to start. If you put The People Factor principles to work, you will become stronger, happier, and healthier in all your relationships. You will be a better spouse, a better friend, a better boss, a better parent, and a better person.
The right relationship will launch you to the heights of achievement; the wrong one will tether you to mediocrity. Your relationships will be your sources of greatest joy and your venues of greatest pain. Van Moody says, “When people show you who they are, pay attention.”
We need to undertake the important task of evaluating our relationships intelligently. We need to recognize the people with whom God has called us to walk in mutually beneficial relationships and to identify those who will derail our destinies or hinder His purposes for our lives. It is high time we cultivate our Relational IQs, understanding not only how to build great relationships but also how to avoid or skillfully exit bad ones.
Van Moody saw this need every day of his pastoral life, but he could not find a concise, practical resource for people who need to become more relationally savvy. He needed a beyond-the-basics study guide for Relational IQ. The People Factor is his solution.
God works in our lives through our relationships. Yet, all too often, we get our relationship advice from the most toxic sources we can find. The People Factor is based on the most effective, trustworthy relationship book of all the Bible.
If you hunger for a richer, more fulfilling life, your Relational IQ is the place to start. If you put The People Factor principles to work, you will become stronger, happier, and healthier in all your relationships. You will be a better spouse, a better friend, a better boss, a better parent, and a better person.
292 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 7, 2014
170 people are currently reading
1060 people want to read
About the author
Van Moody
19 books33 followersField expert Van Moody is an author, motivational speaker, pastor, and media expert source who advises on matters related to relationships as they pertain to friends, family, significant others and the workplace.
Moody has lectured in the classrooms of Harvard and Oxford Universities where he, himself, has also studied to further his quest for knowledge. Among his numerous affiliations, Moody is an associate trainer in Japan for EQUIP, the world's largest and most comprehensive grassroots leadership, personal growth and development organization founded by Dr. John C. Maxwell. He also serves on the board of directors for Joel Osteen's Champions Network.
Moody has lectured in the classrooms of Harvard and Oxford Universities where he, himself, has also studied to further his quest for knowledge. Among his numerous affiliations, Moody is an associate trainer in Japan for EQUIP, the world's largest and most comprehensive grassroots leadership, personal growth and development organization founded by Dr. John C. Maxwell. He also serves on the board of directors for Joel Osteen's Champions Network.
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March 27, 2014
I expected a book about relationships, how to choose them wisely, set boundaries, and how to get out if necessary, but what I didn’t expect from Van Moody’s The People Factor was the idea that relationships are the determining factor in our lives. Bad relationships will derail our best efforts, and we have to pay attention to the people we are allowing to influence our quality of life. Therefore, increasing our relationship IQ is the way to becoming a better spouse, parent, friend, co-worker, leader, and better human being.
Moody points out that any great relationship starts with the one you have with yourself. Go beyond asking yourself the tough questions. Ask others to provide an honest assessment of your best and worst qualities and how you stack up in the areas of integrity, dependability, insight, and vulnerability. And if you don’t like the answers you get, work on making adjustments to yourself before you start working on your other relationships. Your relationships will be mutually beneficial only if you are like-minded in character and purpose. You have to be the best to surround yourself with the same.
Moody’s description of the four ingredients of integrity was particularly helpful. They are: an unwavering commitment to truth, an absolute refusal to compromise on core values, a complete dedication to pure motives, and a passionate, consistent pursuit of excellence. According to Moody, it is an absolute necessity to require integrity from the people with whom you have a relationship. Failing to this will align you with the wrong people. The author does not advocate judging others, but rather to have standards for those you allow to influence your life.
He also has some strong advice about secrets—that if you don’t deal with them, they will ultimately deal with you. On page 122, Moody writes that “…secrets gnaw on the fabric of your heart, erode your character, and steal your focus away from the people and things that truly need your attention.” Secrets are an extremely destructive force and must be uncovered and dealt with, or they form a barrier to intimacy.
This book is not for the faint of heart. Moody writes that “In every healthy relationship, the blade of truth and honesty must be applied at times.” It’s true that the truth hurts, and without honesty, the relationship will be superficial at best. If we truly seek deep, fulfilling relationships, then we have to be willing to endure some pain.
Moody states that “…people who aren’t going anywhere in life have already arrived.” Don’t spend time with them. Look for people of “substance, passion, and ambition—people who aren’t seeking to make an impression on the world but to make a powerful impact for God’s Kingdom. Find people who have the capacity to appreciate the vision you have for your life and the energy to support you in it. Look for people who will challenge and encourage you to become more than you are today, and who will allow you to do the same for them.”
This book has changed the way I think about relationships. It’s not selfish to be selective and make sure that I am like-minded in character and purpose with those that I spend time with. It’s necessary or I risk failing to fulfill my potential.
This book was provided free of charge in exchange for an honest review of the work. My opinions are my own and not influenced in any way by the publisher or author.
Moody points out that any great relationship starts with the one you have with yourself. Go beyond asking yourself the tough questions. Ask others to provide an honest assessment of your best and worst qualities and how you stack up in the areas of integrity, dependability, insight, and vulnerability. And if you don’t like the answers you get, work on making adjustments to yourself before you start working on your other relationships. Your relationships will be mutually beneficial only if you are like-minded in character and purpose. You have to be the best to surround yourself with the same.
Moody’s description of the four ingredients of integrity was particularly helpful. They are: an unwavering commitment to truth, an absolute refusal to compromise on core values, a complete dedication to pure motives, and a passionate, consistent pursuit of excellence. According to Moody, it is an absolute necessity to require integrity from the people with whom you have a relationship. Failing to this will align you with the wrong people. The author does not advocate judging others, but rather to have standards for those you allow to influence your life.
He also has some strong advice about secrets—that if you don’t deal with them, they will ultimately deal with you. On page 122, Moody writes that “…secrets gnaw on the fabric of your heart, erode your character, and steal your focus away from the people and things that truly need your attention.” Secrets are an extremely destructive force and must be uncovered and dealt with, or they form a barrier to intimacy.
This book is not for the faint of heart. Moody writes that “In every healthy relationship, the blade of truth and honesty must be applied at times.” It’s true that the truth hurts, and without honesty, the relationship will be superficial at best. If we truly seek deep, fulfilling relationships, then we have to be willing to endure some pain.
Moody states that “…people who aren’t going anywhere in life have already arrived.” Don’t spend time with them. Look for people of “substance, passion, and ambition—people who aren’t seeking to make an impression on the world but to make a powerful impact for God’s Kingdom. Find people who have the capacity to appreciate the vision you have for your life and the energy to support you in it. Look for people who will challenge and encourage you to become more than you are today, and who will allow you to do the same for them.”
This book has changed the way I think about relationships. It’s not selfish to be selective and make sure that I am like-minded in character and purpose with those that I spend time with. It’s necessary or I risk failing to fulfill my potential.
This book was provided free of charge in exchange for an honest review of the work. My opinions are my own and not influenced in any way by the publisher or author.
February 16, 2015
Full of insight for a troubled heart!
This book aloud me to understand and grasp my relationships with other people in every aspect. It allowed me to see what direction I needed to focus on for myself and in building a friendship and or relationship. Thanks for the great read I actually read it twice to make sure I understood what was being feed to me and to gain all the knowledge I possibly could.
This book aloud me to understand and grasp my relationships with other people in every aspect. It allowed me to see what direction I needed to focus on for myself and in building a friendship and or relationship. Thanks for the great read I actually read it twice to make sure I understood what was being feed to me and to gain all the knowledge I possibly could.
March 9, 2020
At first I wasn’t sure about reading yet another self help book. But this book was really good and helped me to understand how to clean up my circle, which is now more of a dot. But because of this book I am now seeking meaningful relationships. Everyone should read this no matter how great they think their circle/group of friends and even family members are.
February 23, 2020
The book uses scripture to show how to see & determine the type of relationships we have in our lives. This was a struggle to read. There were parts that were interesting & some that I was not sure if it was added as a filler for the book.
June 3, 2019
We can act as if the only important relationship in life is our relationship with God, or a higher power, if you believe in one, yet we all have to admit, that is simply not true. Other people beyond ourselves are required for our success in life and its various aspects.
In The People Factor, Van Moody offers timely and effective relationship advice from a Christian perspective. He hits on relationships in all forms–familial and professional–and not just those of a romantic nature. Although written with Christians in mind, it also caters to a mainstream audience. There are plenty of biblical references, which add weight to many of Moody’s analyses and observations; however, there is also a fair amount of mainstream pop culture references for which one can relate. Also, one does not need to be well-versed in the bible to understand the information, but if you already are, I found much of it to be welcomed re-enforcement of the information.
Early on, it’s reminiscent of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits, particularly the on concepts of win/win relationships and synergy. Yet, the books takes a more biblical route. Moody isn’t preachy in terms of right and wrong or judgmental, but rather simply uses examples from stories in the bible to make his points.
Moody is authentic and doesn’t shy away from talking about real-life examples from his personal life. The information presented, isn’t necessarily new, but still timely in a present day culture of superficial relationships in the Digital Age. Moody mentions how in generations past, people were more connected (because they had to be for survival). Yet, in the age of social media, people seem to be more loosely connected than ever, despite the advancement of technology meant to keep us in touch with one another. Furthermore, people seem to lack the means to be selective in vetting relationship that may or may not be right.
If you have pain points in relationships–professional, social, familial, romantic, or otherwise–you may like this book. If you’ve read Covey’s Seven Habits, and found it to your liking, you may like this as well as it goes deeper into a couple of those seven habits. If you don’t appreciate a “God-centered” focus, this one may not be for you.
In The People Factor, Van Moody offers timely and effective relationship advice from a Christian perspective. He hits on relationships in all forms–familial and professional–and not just those of a romantic nature. Although written with Christians in mind, it also caters to a mainstream audience. There are plenty of biblical references, which add weight to many of Moody’s analyses and observations; however, there is also a fair amount of mainstream pop culture references for which one can relate. Also, one does not need to be well-versed in the bible to understand the information, but if you already are, I found much of it to be welcomed re-enforcement of the information.
Early on, it’s reminiscent of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits, particularly the on concepts of win/win relationships and synergy. Yet, the books takes a more biblical route. Moody isn’t preachy in terms of right and wrong or judgmental, but rather simply uses examples from stories in the bible to make his points.
Moody is authentic and doesn’t shy away from talking about real-life examples from his personal life. The information presented, isn’t necessarily new, but still timely in a present day culture of superficial relationships in the Digital Age. Moody mentions how in generations past, people were more connected (because they had to be for survival). Yet, in the age of social media, people seem to be more loosely connected than ever, despite the advancement of technology meant to keep us in touch with one another. Furthermore, people seem to lack the means to be selective in vetting relationship that may or may not be right.
If you have pain points in relationships–professional, social, familial, romantic, or otherwise–you may like this book. If you’ve read Covey’s Seven Habits, and found it to your liking, you may like this as well as it goes deeper into a couple of those seven habits. If you don’t appreciate a “God-centered” focus, this one may not be for you.
April 15, 2014
I enjoyed reading this book. I could pick and choose the chapters/sub chapters that was of interest to me. Van Moody, a pastor, is the author of this book. He meshes psychology and versus from the Bible to create examples that are easy to understand and make sense about the dynamics of relationships. He explores numerous types of relationships including those with friends, spouses, bosses, children, etc. The book is a wealth of information. If you are not a religious person, don't take offense to the references of the Scriptures. These are only examples to enhance the point Pastor Moody is explaining. Perfect book for teens on up.
September 18, 2014
really good book about relationships and deciphering between which are good for your life and which may not be able to stay with you as you move to new phases in your life. it is based on religious ideas and there is a lot of scripture so may not be for everyone, however I very much enjoyed some of the advice on handling relationships and either feeding them or letting them go.
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December 14, 2020The People Factor
This is an amazing book from an amazing man of God. The first time I heard Pastor Van speak he was just a visiting pastor at a church by the named of Sardis Baptist, which I'd been going to as long as I can remember going to church. Church for me was then waking up and being there to hear the message by eight, sitting for some hours, and listening, nothing really sticking (Not to take anything away from the minister I had). I just wasn't getting anything out of it. And then one Sunday I heard my Pastor speak. The message moved me to tears because it was like somehow he'd looked inside my life ad the message he gave was directly for me. Shortly afterward the Worship Center came into creation. For a year there'd been so much talk about this book floating around in his sermons and having just gotten out of a horrendous break up myself and hearing him give a stirring interview with TDJakes prompted me to be even more excited to read the book. So I put it on my Amazon wish list, A blessing came for me in the year (2014) around Labor Day. The book was put on sale for a day for 99 cents. I jumped at the chance to finally read it. I got so much out of it! Honestly, I wish I would have read it before my break up, and then I might have let go a long time ago. The book spoke to the things I'd been through with the person I'd thought I was in a relationship with for two years. It pointed out signs of disloyalty in people (which I could relate to VERY WELL). It showed the importance of not having secrets and learning to be transparent and honest. And what happens when you live a double life. (Something my ex could do well to read). It talked about convent partners versus halfway friends. It asks questions at the end of each chapter. And it's funny that throughout the questions it would always bring me back to the strongest relationship I have in my life, which is with my best friend. Every time the book brought out some trait or quality that we should be looking for I immediately thought of him. It will also make you take a hard, painful, look at yourself. I know one section did that for me about progression. As per normal of the Pastor's style of teaching he gives illustrations from his own life and the bible to bring across his points. It surprised me with some of the personal details he included. For example that he almost blew it and passed on his wife. But I applaud his ability to be so open and honest in the book about his experiences and to write a book like this. He dealt with transitioning and taking note of people's reactions when you're interested which helped. But I wish he would have dealt with the subject of who makes the first move which is something I've personally been struggling with (for a single woman). The book is supposed to be focused on relationships. I give this book 10 stars and strong recommendations. It's enlightening and I think anyone who has dealt with the hurt and the pain of relationships in any aspect be it family, dating, or business will easily be able to relate to the things he touches on and teaches. I think it will also be an eye-opener and really make you take another evaluation of not only the relationships we are in right now but ourselves. GREAT BOOK
This is an amazing book from an amazing man of God. The first time I heard Pastor Van speak he was just a visiting pastor at a church by the named of Sardis Baptist, which I'd been going to as long as I can remember going to church. Church for me was then waking up and being there to hear the message by eight, sitting for some hours, and listening, nothing really sticking (Not to take anything away from the minister I had). I just wasn't getting anything out of it. And then one Sunday I heard my Pastor speak. The message moved me to tears because it was like somehow he'd looked inside my life ad the message he gave was directly for me. Shortly afterward the Worship Center came into creation. For a year there'd been so much talk about this book floating around in his sermons and having just gotten out of a horrendous break up myself and hearing him give a stirring interview with TDJakes prompted me to be even more excited to read the book. So I put it on my Amazon wish list, A blessing came for me in the year (2014) around Labor Day. The book was put on sale for a day for 99 cents. I jumped at the chance to finally read it. I got so much out of it! Honestly, I wish I would have read it before my break up, and then I might have let go a long time ago. The book spoke to the things I'd been through with the person I'd thought I was in a relationship with for two years. It pointed out signs of disloyalty in people (which I could relate to VERY WELL). It showed the importance of not having secrets and learning to be transparent and honest. And what happens when you live a double life. (Something my ex could do well to read). It talked about convent partners versus halfway friends. It asks questions at the end of each chapter. And it's funny that throughout the questions it would always bring me back to the strongest relationship I have in my life, which is with my best friend. Every time the book brought out some trait or quality that we should be looking for I immediately thought of him. It will also make you take a hard, painful, look at yourself. I know one section did that for me about progression. As per normal of the Pastor's style of teaching he gives illustrations from his own life and the bible to bring across his points. It surprised me with some of the personal details he included. For example that he almost blew it and passed on his wife. But I applaud his ability to be so open and honest in the book about his experiences and to write a book like this. He dealt with transitioning and taking note of people's reactions when you're interested which helped. But I wish he would have dealt with the subject of who makes the first move which is something I've personally been struggling with (for a single woman). The book is supposed to be focused on relationships. I give this book 10 stars and strong recommendations. It's enlightening and I think anyone who has dealt with the hurt and the pain of relationships in any aspect be it family, dating, or business will easily be able to relate to the things he touches on and teaches. I think it will also be an eye-opener and really make you take another evaluation of not only the relationships we are in right now but ourselves. GREAT BOOK
April 2, 2020
As someone who believes that we exist to love one another, I often have a hard time setting boundaries in relationships. I feel like in order to love freely I have to offer my whole self to others. Van Moody spoke from a scriptural foundation and showed how the right relationships propel us toward our purposes while the wrong ones can pull us off of the best path. While I didn’t buy in to everything he shared, I did feel like there were a lot of thoughts worth investigating further. Overall this was a great read that was very thought provoking and will inspire continued self-investigation!
May 9, 2021
This was exactly what I needed, packed with so much wisdom and healthy views on any kind of relationship. I would not consider this a 'self-help' book, just great advise from solid ground! I didn't expect it to have a religious aspect but the author is a Pastor after all and of course most of his examples are taken from the Bible (which I don't mind at all). Maybe one too many examples towards the end, which is why I'd give this 4.5 stars but overall a great, sane one. Regardless if you're a religious Christian or not this book will give you a lot of value. Highly recommended
March 24, 2020
The final third of this book is worth the whole book! It approaches topics of toxic friendships, unhealthy friendships, how to get out of them and encouragement from scripture that it’s okay to remove yourself from this friendships. Appreciated this piece. The rest can be obvious to some with high emotional intelligence and it’s also written from the view of a pastor and his relationships, mostly his relationship with staff members.
April 28, 2023
God loves relationship and longs to have one with his children. God wants to help us navigate through them in a healthy way. One that fulfills his purpose for our lives.
This book came into my life when I was stepping into a new season in my life. I needed to understand how God was transitioning me for greater and not everyone could come with me. I found my rhythm and have not looked back since!
Great read for natural and spiritual growth.
This book came into my life when I was stepping into a new season in my life. I needed to understand how God was transitioning me for greater and not everyone could come with me. I found my rhythm and have not looked back since!
Great read for natural and spiritual growth.
August 22, 2022
I didn't think there was anything mind-blowing, but would highly recommend this book to young 20-year-olds and specifically people pleasers. A lot of really great practical and biblical advice. There are also questions at the end of each chapter to help the reader determine their status with specific relationships.
September 3, 2023
It's a primer for developing a Relationship IQ.
It's not just about setting boundaries, but an offensive stance to seek out good, sustaining relationships.
In other words, developing good relationships should not be accidental or happenstance but intentional.
It was recommended by someone I met in passing while I'm NYC.
It's not just about setting boundaries, but an offensive stance to seek out good, sustaining relationships.
In other words, developing good relationships should not be accidental or happenstance but intentional.
It was recommended by someone I met in passing while I'm NYC.
December 10, 2025
I was skeptical of this book at first, but it was recommended to me by a trusted mentor. I think this book will have a lifelong impact on the way that I think about human relationships. While I don’t think everything in this book should be received as gospel, I highly recommend this for anyone seeking wisdom about navigating friendships and other relationships!
March 20, 2023
Read this on the plane from Germany to the US. It was good, just feel redundant and maybe even a bit contradictory in some spots. As if, the good parts were good, but the book could have been much shorter.
August 20, 2024
Perfect book for me to read before starting my college journey. Very insightful and loved the biblical applications of building relationships - shows how relevant the narratives within scripture are to today's humanity.
June 18, 2017
Great book!!
Although the information presented in this book is nothing we don't already know, I appreciated the way it was presented. Very thought provoking and well written.
Although the information presented in this book is nothing we don't already know, I appreciated the way it was presented. Very thought provoking and well written.
August 28, 2017
A new Christian classic.
October 28, 2018
Excellent book!!! Worth the time!
November 3, 2018
Awesome read. This will help to take your relationships forward to where they need to be
August 24, 2020
A most Read!!!!
June 2, 2014
"When people show you who they are, pay attention."-Van Moody
The People Factor is subtitled, "How building great relationships and enduring bad ones unlocks your God-given purpose" - a hefty premise, and one that Van Moody takes on with ease. This is *not* your typical self-help-with-a-Christian-twist book, but rather an engaging journey. Moody uses personal examples and Biblical examples of good and bad relationships - models that we all share in one way or another. He then examines *why* each example is good or bad - all the underpinnings - so that we learn to recognize when we ourselves fall into these same patterns.
Moody's guide stone is the Bible - and his advice is not that of a secular pop-psychologist or pundit, but that of a caring pastor who understands that we are all imperfect, we all make mistakes, and we all can ask forgiveness, learn and move on. His advice is based on principles he derives from the Bible and his years of counseling - this is advice he himself has taken. His counsel starts with learning to *honestly* know oneself. We all have a tendency to want to blame others when relationships go wrong, but are we being honest? Moody invites us to explore ourselves, to explore our personal ways of relating - to ourselves, to God, and to others - and determine which are healthy and which are not. He invites us to release the past, to be selective, and to end relationships that are truly toxic and unrepairable. His advice is not only for "the lovelorn" - but rather he encompasses all the relationships in our lives: work, family, friends, acquaintances, partners, and more.
What I found most interesting - and useful - was Moody's concept of "covenant partners" - again, a concept based in Biblical truths. According to Moody, a covenant partner has six specific characteristics: the person can accept change, does not run away during difficulty, trusts God, trusts you, trusts himself or herself, will help you and not harm you. This is a powerful relationship - and one to be valued. It is also one we often mistakenly believe we have found when we have not - ie, we often assume relationships that are *not* covenant to be covenant - which leads to pain and dysfunction.
I learned a lot from the self-examination that the book demands...I am currently in a sort of "career and life changes" limbo, figuring out anew who and what my priorities must be. I found Moody to be an apt and sensitive guide - and again, his foundation in Biblical truth is important for me, because I find the "self help" genre as a whole tends to encourage a great deal of selfishness and self-absorption. Moody's book forces one to look within so that one can then honestly look out.
The People Factor is subtitled, "How building great relationships and enduring bad ones unlocks your God-given purpose" - a hefty premise, and one that Van Moody takes on with ease. This is *not* your typical self-help-with-a-Christian-twist book, but rather an engaging journey. Moody uses personal examples and Biblical examples of good and bad relationships - models that we all share in one way or another. He then examines *why* each example is good or bad - all the underpinnings - so that we learn to recognize when we ourselves fall into these same patterns.
Moody's guide stone is the Bible - and his advice is not that of a secular pop-psychologist or pundit, but that of a caring pastor who understands that we are all imperfect, we all make mistakes, and we all can ask forgiveness, learn and move on. His advice is based on principles he derives from the Bible and his years of counseling - this is advice he himself has taken. His counsel starts with learning to *honestly* know oneself. We all have a tendency to want to blame others when relationships go wrong, but are we being honest? Moody invites us to explore ourselves, to explore our personal ways of relating - to ourselves, to God, and to others - and determine which are healthy and which are not. He invites us to release the past, to be selective, and to end relationships that are truly toxic and unrepairable. His advice is not only for "the lovelorn" - but rather he encompasses all the relationships in our lives: work, family, friends, acquaintances, partners, and more.
What I found most interesting - and useful - was Moody's concept of "covenant partners" - again, a concept based in Biblical truths. According to Moody, a covenant partner has six specific characteristics: the person can accept change, does not run away during difficulty, trusts God, trusts you, trusts himself or herself, will help you and not harm you. This is a powerful relationship - and one to be valued. It is also one we often mistakenly believe we have found when we have not - ie, we often assume relationships that are *not* covenant to be covenant - which leads to pain and dysfunction.
I learned a lot from the self-examination that the book demands...I am currently in a sort of "career and life changes" limbo, figuring out anew who and what my priorities must be. I found Moody to be an apt and sensitive guide - and again, his foundation in Biblical truth is important for me, because I find the "self help" genre as a whole tends to encourage a great deal of selfishness and self-absorption. Moody's book forces one to look within so that one can then honestly look out.
June 8, 2016
About the Book
There complexities to relationships, whether they be extremely personal like marriage, a friend, or a co-worker. We must determine which relationships are good for us and which ones are bad for us. This is the premise of The People Factor by Pastor Van Moody, which is a simple look at relationships and how there are clear dynamics within all relationships that we have.
Moody takes time through the first half of the book to bring into focus some key observations about relationships and how we navigate them. He takes the reader into an introspective look at which people are propelling you forward and which individuals might just be holding you back.
Attempting to use scripture as a basis for his conclusions Moody looks to assist us in the process of assessment by taking inventory of individuals in our lives by becoming more aware of who they are and what they reveal about themselves to you.
When people show you who they are, pay attention.
Once you get towards the middle of the book, Moody turns to provide tools you can use to evaluate your relationships and offers insight into those who deserve to have input into your life. One of these relationships he calls covenant partners, these people are those who can accept change, who don't run away during difficult times, who trusts God, who trusts you, who trusts themselves, and someone who will help you and not harm you.
Moody ends the book walking through the ebbs and flow of relationships, pointing out that some relationships are merely for a season and some serve a greater purpose.
A Few Thoughts
While parts of this book were insightful, I couldn't help but find some of his conclusions based on scripture to be a bit weak at times. Moody definitely helps the reader objectively calculate their own investment into their relationships, but tends to make things almost too black and white. If the person isn't benefiting you and your goals, cut ties. While the book doesn't read that extreme, there we definite times when I walked away with that sentiment.
In the end, the Bible is not a self-help book describing how you can become the best version of yourself through your relationships. If you own that Bible, I suggest you walk away right now.
There complexities to relationships, whether they be extremely personal like marriage, a friend, or a co-worker. We must determine which relationships are good for us and which ones are bad for us. This is the premise of The People Factor by Pastor Van Moody, which is a simple look at relationships and how there are clear dynamics within all relationships that we have.
Moody takes time through the first half of the book to bring into focus some key observations about relationships and how we navigate them. He takes the reader into an introspective look at which people are propelling you forward and which individuals might just be holding you back.
Attempting to use scripture as a basis for his conclusions Moody looks to assist us in the process of assessment by taking inventory of individuals in our lives by becoming more aware of who they are and what they reveal about themselves to you.
When people show you who they are, pay attention.
Once you get towards the middle of the book, Moody turns to provide tools you can use to evaluate your relationships and offers insight into those who deserve to have input into your life. One of these relationships he calls covenant partners, these people are those who can accept change, who don't run away during difficult times, who trusts God, who trusts you, who trusts themselves, and someone who will help you and not harm you.
Moody ends the book walking through the ebbs and flow of relationships, pointing out that some relationships are merely for a season and some serve a greater purpose.
A Few Thoughts
While parts of this book were insightful, I couldn't help but find some of his conclusions based on scripture to be a bit weak at times. Moody definitely helps the reader objectively calculate their own investment into their relationships, but tends to make things almost too black and white. If the person isn't benefiting you and your goals, cut ties. While the book doesn't read that extreme, there we definite times when I walked away with that sentiment.
In the end, the Bible is not a self-help book describing how you can become the best version of yourself through your relationships. If you own that Bible, I suggest you walk away right now.
September 19, 2016
This book is quite insightful. I learned a lot about relationships- how to discern between a good friend and a bad one, becoming aware of a person's character, healthy boundaries, priorities, etc. It really makes you re-evaluate the people in your life. This is an easy read with reflection questions after every chapter. (Do them! It helps the material stick!)
May 21, 2015
This book should be required reading for everyone!! I loved this book. It was so informing and made you evaluate your circle and have you looking at some of the members of your circle sideways!!! It was a sobering read as you realize that some of the members of your circle may be the reason for your success or lack of success! The fact that he backs it all up with scripture is a plus. You see how long it took me to read this book, it is not to be taken lightly, if you are not ready to look very closely at all the relationships in your life, don't even bother picking the book up! As a christian counselor there are certain books I have on my bookshelf that I have multiple copies of to give away...this is one that will be added to the collection!Thank you Mr. Moody for the insight and foray into all the relationships in my life!
March 14, 2014
In The People Factor, author Van Moody uses his experiences and knowledge from being a pastor to analyze how to have healthy, strong relationships. He theorizes that in order to have truly healthy and positive relationships (in anything from marriages, friendships, co-workers etc), we have to be proactive in how we ourselves act (honestly, with integrity), and also proactive in discerning who we should have these bonds with in the first place. I liked that the author addressed many types of relationships and situations, and gave thoughtful ways to analyze your own relationships, and figure out how to make them more healthy, or make the decision of how avoid unhealthy relationships. He also relates his advice back to the Bible, giving a strong foundation for his ideas.
March 27, 2014
This book has some really interesting ideas. I never really thought about how some of the people in my life cause more stress than bring about the best of me. I guess I just saw that as inevitable in some friendships, but the pastor shows how we need to really put effort into pursuing and creating relationships that are strong and healthy, and that it is not only ok, but actually pretty healthy to end relationships (like friendships and otherwise) if they negatively affect you. I liked how he talked about truly being honest in your life, and how that can help you find and strengthen good relationships. I thought that this book had a lot of great advice for getting your social life in order in terms of having people around you who actually are a positive force in your life.
March 30, 2014
Here is an excerpt from my review: "In this book, Moody takes you through the 10 Critical Laws of Relationships: being real, mutual benefit, agreement, letting go, selectivity, sacrifice, no secrets, true value, loyalty, and constructive transition. Reading through what each of these laws mean makes you take stock at your current relationships to see how each one measures up and to see how you measure up. It's not just all about the other people. Don't forget that you have to follow the "laws", too."
You can read my full review here: http://cookscrapcraft.blogspot.com/20...
You can read my full review here: http://cookscrapcraft.blogspot.com/20...
August 31, 2014
The People Factor has some good points mixed in with Bible references, but given the author is a reverend, that's expected. What's unfortunate is that as the book progresses, more and more of it is simply bible portions and less of it is actual useful information. He also seems extremely judgmental of people, which I found surprising.
The main point of the book is: pay attention to who you befriend, as they can help lift you up - or pull you down.
The main point of the book is: pay attention to who you befriend, as they can help lift you up - or pull you down.
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