The Dogma of Rufus: A Canine Guide to Eating, Sleeping, Digging, Slobbering, Scratching, and Surviving with Humans

by Rufus, Larry Arnstein, Zack Arnstein

So, you’ve been ripped out from your mother’s paws and taken in by a strange family of humans that has kids who insist on flapping your floppy ears and dressing you up like a ladybug. These new human-folk are trying to “teach” you things, like sitting or not ripping apart their fun-looking shoes, and you might start to think you should try to “obey.” But I know better; I’ve been around the block and peed on most parts of it. Puppies like you need my—wait, somebody just walked in with a hamburger. Gotta check this out.

Ok, back now. Anyway, to survive in this world filled with brown-clad fools delivering packages and leashes, you need my guide to show you what’s what in this dog-eat-dog world of ours. Like dog beds; your human might try to force you to sleep in one of these, but with my sly techniques I can show you how to weasel your way into their clean, fresh-smelling king-sized bed, or even stretch yourself out and have it all to yourself. Those imbeciles might think they are your owner, but you’ll show them who really owns who armed with knowledge on these subjects:

- Advanced barking—how loud and annoying can you go?

- Cars—catch your Moby Dick

- Licking—what, where, when, and why

- Biting—ask questions later

- Welcoming guests—try not to hyperventilate

- And much more!

Communicating with humans can be difficult, as they are not very smart, but they give you things and throw you balls, so you might as well try to amuse them.

Genres: Humor

306 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2013

Reviews

[Murrie Redman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not favouring all stars here, due to chapters kind of leaping around. But then, we must remember that it was written by a dog, and they're good at leaping. Take Frisbee for example. No one will escape laughing aloud reading about the way we odd human creatures exist, especially now that we know it's only to look after dogs. Even reading cat lovers may stoop to giggle. The book is light, fun reading and there are actual moments of wondering about some of the things we humans do that, in the canine world, simply mind boggle. Dogs, however, don't think about anything for very long. Unless it's food and finding nice tree trunks. Sometimes people's legs.

[Hunteje · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having ever had a dog makes this required reading

Just the antidote I needed for a world in which I can no longer read the newspaper without my blood pressure skyrocketing. Rufus hits the spot.

[Armelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

An extremely silly, and somewhat entertaining, little book told from the point of view of an old dog passing on his wisdom to all the young pups.

Not, in case you were wondering, a children’s book!

[Klschwab · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty funny book

I could only give four stars....after all, as a human, I could not truly appreciate all the advice given throughout the book.

[Elaine Tellep · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute story from a dogs eye view. Some good laughs.

[,Tami DeNoel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hysterical and true

This is a great book to help humans are life from a dog's point of view. An easy read and much longer than I thought which was a good thing. Plenty of enjoyment.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am gathering this was suppose to be humorous, but it felt lacking on so many levels.