Esto no estaba en los planes

by Kristen Clark

¿Qué ocurre cuando la vida no resulta como siempre habías imaginado? ¿Cómo mantener la esperanza cuando las decepciones, los anhelos insatisfechos y los desvíos frustrantes llaman a tu puerta? Kristen Clark y Bethany Beal se han hecho estas mismas preguntas. En Esto no estaba en los planes, abren sus vidas de la manera más directa y sencilla, compartiendo sus propios viajes a través de temporadas inesperadas de infertilidad, soltería, pérdida y desamor. Pero en medio de todo ello, han aprendido que la verdadera esperanza no viene de conseguir la vida que siempre soñaste, sino de confiar en Dios con la vida que tiene para ti y creer que sus planes son realmente buenos.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Non Fiction, Christian Living, Faith, Spirituality

239 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 21, 2023

About the author

Kristen Clark is married to her high school sweetheart, Zack, and has a background in Biblical counseling, young women's ministry, teen mentoring, online blogging, and is the co-founder of GirlDefined Ministries. She and her sister, Bethany, are passionate about fighting feminism, embracing gender distinctions, and empowering young women to live out their God defined purpose. You can read her weekly blog posts at girldefined.com or follow her on Facebook at facebook.com/girldefined.

Reviews

[Ruth Manetobi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Infertility and being single for a while are nowhere near the same level. It's a bit hard to take it seriously when it is presented as two similar things.


The author's are sending out advanced copies but in order to receive your copy you need to write a 5* review for it first. I cannot in good faith do that. For their last book as well you were kicked if you did not give a good review

[Phoebe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've only read the first chapter, but so far it's been so good! Kristen and Bethany are both humble when sharing their experiences and they give hope. I really like how they stick to the Gospel and don't say "oh if you do this all your dreams will come true", but instead they point us to God and the truth. All things happen for a purpose for our good to give glory to God. Even the painful parts. I can't wait to finish reading the book to uncover on more Trusting God. He is so trustworthy!

[Cora Chin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely incredible book. I love it so much. I honestly think it is the best book they have ever written.

[Bethel Grove · Rating 5 out of 5]

In their book Not Part of the Plan, authors Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal dive deep into helping their readers navigate the twists and turns of their story while trusting God fully. Kristen and Bethany open up in a way they never have before about their stories not going according to plan. Through Bethany’s years of unfulfilling longings for marriage and Kristen’s years of struggling with infertility, they discovered that even when life doesn’t go according to plan, God is good, ever-present, and can bring us hope and peace amid heartache and disappointment. Pairing their stories with Scriptural and practical truth, this book is designed to help young women to work through past and present detours in their stories. Each chapter includes prayers, reflection questions, and challenges to help them dive deeper. This book is honest and real in a time in history when everyone has faced challenges due to changes from a worldwide pandemic. This is a book that every young woman needs to read. Get your copy today!

*I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review

[Halle Rajkumar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about the ups and downs of life!

[Beth Pfohl · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a young Christian woman, I consider myself very lucky to have found Girl Defined Ministries, and this book couldn’t have come at a better time in my own life. While personally I do not share the struggles that authors Bethany and Kristen spoke about in the book (at least not at this point in my life), I found the teaching and advice presented to be Biblically sound and incredibly encouraging for anyone looking to trust God more in their daily life. Sometimes all you need is to hear that someone else has struggled to trust God, and how exactly they have learned to better rest their lives on Him. While I feel that I could have benefitted from some more generic examples of life’s unexpected twists, I am planning to move forward in my life applying many of the principles learned in this book to take on whatever comes my way in the future. If I could, I would have given 4.5 stars for sure! As I quite literally walked away mostly unharmed from a car accident the day I finished this book, I am feeling grateful for being safe and well and incredible thankful to have more Biblical, faith-driven tools to handle this unexpected bump in the road.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review.

[Denysha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kristen and Bethany are always consistent with their writing. I love their approach to story telling in all their books. This one was no different. They delivered a captivating retelling of their lives and numerous lessons to be learnt. I thoroughly enjoyed this one just like I did the others. Looking forward to whatever they release next.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so thankful to again be chosen to be a part of the launch team for GirlDefined’s new book: “Not Part of the Plan: Trusting God with the twists and turns of your story.”
I was so excited when they announced this new book. I’ve been so encouraged as I’ve followed the story of Bethany’s long journey of singleness and Kristen’s trial of infertility. Their openness to these struggles have encouraged me so much as I see their love for the Lord grow even in the midst of hard. I remember hearing Kristen share of her third miscarriage at the 2019 GirlDefined conference- months after a big and hard life disappointment for me. I was lost and confused and my only hope was to cling to the Lord as my life didn’t go in the direction I had hoped it would. And hearing the struggle Kristen had gone through and how the Lord comforted and worked in her heart was so helpful.

I was so excited to read this book. I’ve loved every book of theirs. It’s so personable and so very practical. They share their own lives so openly and always always point us to Christ and the hope we can find in Him. Their goal is that we know the purpose of life is to glorify God and not to get all of our deepest desires. Our goal here on earth is to bring glory to God and to point others to Him.
‘Some of God’s greatest mercies are his refusals.’ This is hard to wrap your mind around but when I look back on some of lives hardest trials I see God’s mercies in Him telling me no to some of my deepest desires. He protected and kept me. He brought me to my knees before Him in a desperate need of Him alone. ‘Anything that makes me need God is a blessing.’

I love how at the end each chapter they have verses, a prayer, and more things to journal and mediate on to bring us closer to the Lord and understanding of God and His sovereignty and goodness in our lives. This book has encouraged me so much and I’m so thankful for the work and truth that these girls share with us.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭138:8‬ ‬

[Abbey Sim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of all the Girl Defined books, this is the one I feel that I will be able to relate with the most, as someone who may not share much of the authors' gender theology, but whose life has gone somewhat off-kilter and is intrigued to hear perspectives about trusting God and thriving through those seasons. I've yet to finish the book as I've only been able to read the first chapter thus far. My rating reflects this, but I'm very keen to read the rest of the book and update.

[Katie Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

These girls are excellent storytellers, so when I first heard that they had a book of stories in the works, I was instantly sold! I’m one chapter in so far. The writing is almost perfect, and I love how they combine empathy with solid biblical truth and hope. This book is so timely for my prolonged season of many unfulfilled longings. Can’t wait to read more!

[Lillie Blankenship · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re anything like me, then you like to plan out your future. Whenever I look back at the plans “I” had for my life, I laugh. I am so thankful that God has taken the lead in my life because I would truly be lost without His direction. Even though God is the one driving my life, this does not take away the disappointment I can feel whenever things do not go my way. “Not Part of the Plan” is the perfect reminder to find your joy in Christ. What I love about this book is that Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal consistently point you back to the Bible for answers. I think this book is an easy read if you are a new believer or a deeply rooted believer. This book challenged me to dive into the word for my life questions. If you have ever experienced a situation that did not end the way you wanted it to, then this book is perfect for you. I hope you enjoy “Not Part of the Plan” and I hope you are encouraged by the fact that you are not alone in this crazy world.

*I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review

[Elizabeth Beilin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kristen and Bethany from Girl Defined Ministries have always written Awesome and Amazing books that woman of all ages can relate to. We often times to look at other peoples lives and think that they have it easy. It is easy to forget that sometimes life has challenges and can be hard until it’s happening to us. But Jesus brings us Hope and faith and with him we can realign our sight and thoughts on what God has for us. I love that they put Bible verses to every topic and also the Dig deeper section in the book. Encouraging the reader to reflect and to apply what they have read through. Lastly This book has helped me trust in God's plan for my life in such a deeper way. It has helped me remember that even among times of hardship, and chaos He can still use us for His glory. I so recommend this book as a source of light and happiness amidst the craziness of life.
Thank you Girl Defined Ministries so much for helping us!

[Alli B · Rating 1 out of 5]

The wedding dress story serves as a neat allegory for the entire book: Even when it's about Kristen, it's all about Bethany.

[Elisabeth Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not Part of the Plan by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal refreshed and inspired me. I relate to it because life rarely goes the way I plan. However, it was encouraging to be reminded that no matter how crazy life seems, God is still writing my story. This book gave me renewed hope as I continue to trust the Lord even when things seem upside down. God works all things together according to His perfect plan. I am so thankful for a faithful God who walks with me through every aspect of life. This book gives a beautiful glimpse inside Kristen’s and Bethany’s journey of trusting the Lord and leaving their life in His hands. Not only was the book full of solid truth, but I also especially enjoyed the quotes, questions, and reflection area at the end of each chapter. I highly recommend Not Part of the Plan to everyone, young and old. God has a purpose, and I believe He will use this book in your life as He has in mine. Huge thank you to Girl Defined Ministries for faithfully serving the Lord and encouraging other women in the faith. Order your book today!!

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review.

[Paige Osterfeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amidst the rough seasons I have faced in life, Not Part of the Plan has offered me so much hope. In my 22 years, I have faced a devastating breakup, struggled with anxiety and depression, experienced bullying, struggled with heartbreaking loss, and more. This book has showed me how to embrace these challenges as a part of my story as well as how to find true joy even as I continue to experience disappointments in life. If you are battling to accept the path God has taken you on in life, trying to heal from past wounds, wrestling with comparing yourself to others, or simply striving to enjoy the beautiful journey the Lord has in mind for you, then this is the book for you! DISCLAIMER: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the sole purpose of an honest and heartfelt review. All opinions are my own.

[Graylin Nocus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend. “Not Part of the Plan” is such a beautiful book inside and out. I love that it is designed for any stage of life. From middle school to adulthood, this is the book for you. It is full of real life stories, biblical truth, and encouraging words to inspire you. I especially love how each chapter ends with a study guide, journal section, reflection questions, and a prayer. This would also be a great option for small groups! If you have ever wondered why life hasn’t gone the way you planned, I highly recommend.

[Devinne Bone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to all readers! It’s so applicable to how life doesn’t always turn out the way we thought. This book has helped me to see that even though my life didn’t turn out how I thought, God’s always in control. This book is fabulous & I would recommend it over and over again!

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review.

[Brielle Cortez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not Part of the Plan by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal was such a timely read for me. I've been going through major stressors at work, multiple life transitions, grief, healing from path traumas, and uncertainty for the future. With all these things to hold, it's hard to feel anything but alone and stressed to the max. Reading Not Part of the Plan felt like the best hug ever. It challenged me to repeatedly lay my load at the feet of Jesus knowing deeply His love for me, His good plan that I could never write more beautifully or profoundly, and a broader purpose of surrendered service regardless of circumstances through every moment and season in life. I feel renewed joy and motivation to seek Jesus and trust what He is bringing about in my heart and life even before I understand what that looks like.

Not Part of the Plan is a profound and beautiful piece written with personal experience at the forefront and practical wisdom at the conclusion. In each chapter, Bethany and Kristen take turns sharing their most personal moments of struggle and the deepened trust and relationship they each gleaned as a result. At the conclusion of each chapter, there is a thought to ponder, highlights from the chapter to reinforce what you read, a prayer you can use to make this a personal moment of commitment between you and Jesus, verses to read and dig deeper with, and questions to journal or discuss from followed by a prompt to solidify what you've learned. I love how practical and personal this book is!

If you've ever wanted to take Bethany and Kristen to coffee and hear their encouraging and real testimony, this book is that coffee date you've been longing for!

Don't wait any longer! Not Part of the Plan is your next favorite read.

[Jashania · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors of Not Part of the Plan first introduce their disappointments as a guide to have readers reflect on their disappointments. They provide their key points both in the margins and at the end of the chapter. Each chapter offers a chance for small groups and discussion to happen based on what they learned based on that particular topic. Throughout the book, they discuss how they handled their disappointments in a Biblical view.

Reading this book, I can honestly say I related to Bethany as a single woman who sees her younger friends get married. Her story about the wedding dress reminds me not to manipulate God’s plans for my life; instead, I should trust in him. While some critics may view Bethany as a villain for buying a wedding dress, the story she provided was her advice to readers not to have your life planned in haste.

My favorite section in this book was from Kristen, where she discussed enjoying the journey. While I may be single, I have seen some fun journeys of being a camp counselor, someone who served our frontline workers so their children can have a safe space, a mentor for my sorority, and as a new teacher. One thing that made me reflect on singleness was when Kristen mentioned Romans 12:15 and how I can celebrate others while weeping over my disappointments. Overall, I would suggest this book to women of all stages.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review*

[Lizzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just as it sounds, Not Part of the Plan gives you an inside look at Kristin’s and Bethany’s lives and how things didn’t turn out the way they expected. If I had to sum up the book in a single word, it would be encouraging. They encourage you to face your battles (whether it’s trusting God with your singleness, letting go of your worries and anxieties, or wondering if God is really good) with the truth of Scripture.

I loved this book and will definitely be reading it again! One thing I will note, the format of the book and the voicing sounds a little like it was written for younger girls, but the message is still solid. Definitely recommend, whether you’re a teen girl, 30 year old, or even 80 year old!

I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of publishing an honest review, but bought my own copy. All opinions are my own! The authors specifically instructed that we were *not* required to leave a five star review.

[Rachel White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I am currently going through a season of waiting on the Lords perfect timing. I am going through infertility, and hearing Kristen’s story throughout this book has been super encouraging! And Bethany’s story was encouraging also! Waiting on the Lord is hard, but this book is helping me through my “Not Part of the Plan” moment. The stories, the scripture throughout, the written out prayers, it’s all great! I loved it!

[Alexandra Strawbridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bethany and Kristen share their raw, unedited stories of disappointment and unfulfilled longings in Not Part of the Plan: Trusting God with the Twists and Turns of Your Story. They emphasize that it is not only their own experiences that have been disheartening, but also include all types of disappointment – big and small – to relate to Christian women in all walks of life. In this book the authors teach Christian women to turn to God with every disappointment, and unpack God’s gracious, loving, and wise character. Through their funniest stories and those of bitter despair, Kristen and Bethany tackle all the hard issues and back up their claims with abundant Scripture references to emphasize that through any situation we, as Christian women, can embrace the joy and peace to be found in Jesus! This book has solidified the truth of God’s good plan for me and is a resource to turn to when I need biblical encouragement. I look forward to reading this book a second time, and sharing it with younger girls, as well. Girl Defined Ministries never fails to interpret God’s character and His word correctly for the benefit of women in all circumstances!

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review.

[Liza Tabita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is great ( I would highly recommend it to senior high-school girls) because it presents the reality of any girls life. When I finished high-school I had a total different view of how my life would turn out! Not that anyone expects only good things, but there are always things that you think will never happen to you. This book is a shout out that you are not alone. We are not experiencing the same circumstances but all of us get a detour in our life. This book brings hope, not just a reality check. It helps you realize there is a bigger picture and a God involved in all the aspects of our life.
If you have a friend that is graduating, this would make a great gift!

[Abigail Hayven · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO good and exactly what I needed.

Kristen & Bethany have such an authentic and personable writing style that is so engaging and easy to read. They feel like your best friends walking you through the hard areas of your life. This is why I always enjoy their perspective.

This is a topic that all of us can camp out at and Bethany and Kristen cover it in a convicting and encouraging way. It has definitely had me searching my own heart and bringing things to light. So thankful!

Definitely recommend for all ages middle school and beyond!

[Heaven Adore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't fully sure of what to expect when I first heard about the book.

At the time when I became aware of it, I was in the midst of still dealing with disappointment. I figured, "Well, since I'm in this season right now, why not learn a bit more about trust?" And you know, I'm so glad that the Lord allowed me to be apart of the launch team so that I could read the book. I can tell you up-front that it's a book every young woman needs on her shelf.

Let's first talk about the personal stories they included.

In Not Part of the Plan, Kristen and Bethany talk about how we can trust God Biblically through various trials. They share many stories from their personal lives and how they've had to learn to trust God.

I love it when people share about personal experiences; it makes me feel like I know the person on a deeper level. So, I very much enjoyed that aspect of the book. You can laugh with them, cry with them, and just get all the feels of learning more about that.

But also, these stories clearly show that even though the Lord is using them to encourage other young woman in their walk with the Lord, they are still flawed. They still make mistakes and will not trust God even when they know they should.

They were brutally honest about the struggles they have faced and how they dealt with it. That encouraged me to want to let the Lord work in me while I'm facing trials and to desire to be in His presence during those tough times.

Next, let's talk about the Biblical aspect.

Don't you just love it when people back up what they're saying with Scripture?

Well, Bethany and Kristen did just that in this book.

It's one thing to encourage others, but it's another thing to encourage them with Scripture.

Encouraging with Scripture will allow you to point others back to Christ and for them to see where you're coming from.

What I also love about that is that there are verses that I'm even more aware of that I can memorize and mediate on during various trials. Isn't that just awesome?

That's another reason why I love the verse cards that I got so much. Not only are they adorable, but they'll encourage me of what God's Word says.
Now, it's time to "dig deeper."

I was trying to do a pun, but I'm not sure if that worked out greatly. Either way, I enjoyed the 'dig deeper' section at the end of each chapter.

This part honestly made the book interactive and it was perfect for me because I like to journal.

There was a series of at least 5-6 questions along with something to do to take action of what was discussed in the chapter. Talk about applying what you've learned. ;)

I don't know what else I should say about this section, aside from the fact I enjoyed it a lot.

Final Thoughts

There are so many great things about this book that it was almost hard to write this review. Goodness, I had no idea how much the Lord would use this book to help me grow.

I was not force in anyway way to give this book 5 stars or even a positive review, but I did because it's a fantastic and encouraging read.

Please by all means check this book out. There's so much to learn about trust, a lot of food for thought, and application; don't miss out.

*I was given a free copy from the publisher for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.

[a mean gay · Rating 1 out of 5]

So... this is a weird one and wildly out of character for me. But hey, I read the book so I have something over most of the reviews here. Actually, not only did I read it - I annotated it.

01. The tonal shifts are too much. Most of Bethany's story is about not getting married until she was 30 and her story about buying a wedding dress a decade before she got married is so tone deaf. She's never had real hardship (buying a thousand dollar gown at your sister's wedding dress shopping trip is not trauma and I'm okay with gatekeeping here) and it feels borderline insulting to hear advice from her. Kristen's story about infertility, miscarriages, and later on adoption are actually inspiring as well as interesting. Flip flopping between the two felt like talking to your friend about something awful before her snot nosed kid sister butts in like "BRENT STOLE MY CRAYON SO I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE."

02. Most of the talk of faith isn't going to help unless you already have a strong, unshakable belief in God. I have faith because I have faith is simply not helpful to people who are questioning their relationship with God. This isn't unique to the Girl Defined girls, but I was a bit disappointed. Your ministry isn't very good if you can't bring in fresh meat.

03. Much of it is rehashed endlessly. The entire book repeats itself regularly (the entire final chapter is just rehashing the other chapters when each chapter already HAS a summary at the end). It's a very short book and without the repetition it'd probably be half the size.

04. Bethany just up and lies repeatedly. Many times her stories will be completely different from what she's saying on Instagram or has said in past videos (the age her husband was when they met, her birth story, etc). If anxiety is a sin in God's eyes what's lying considered? Genuinely wondering.

05. The writing is simply not very good. Neither of the girls have a calling to write (which is fine!) but it's hard to get through when their advice is unhelpful and neither seem to have a shred of charisma.

Kristen often writes like she's trying to beat a word count:

"As a little girl, I loved playing house. It was one of my all time favorite games. I'm actually not sure it can technically be called a game, because there isn't a goal or a winner. You just play make-believe. Did you ever do that? This was long before smartphones and tablets were around. It was just good old fashioned imagination. Of course, I loved being the mom and bossing my little siblings around. It was my right as the oldest girl. At least that's what I told myself. Maybe it was my God given maternal drive kicking in. Anyway, I loved playing the role of mommy."

Bethany is just... she writes like she's 15:

"My tender heart had been hung out to dry and I was too weak to try for love again."

There's better Christian self help out there.

[Brittany Neely · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was the reminder I needed at exactly the right time. I’m a planner, just as Kristen describes in her new book, Not Part of the Plan. I always try to plan ahead, and figure out precisely what is going to happen in my life. However, we all know that life doesn’t always happen according to our plan. Things change. People change. Disappointment happens. In those moments, we cannot let the way we feel get the best of us, otherwise we would be constantly going through a rollercoaster of emotions on a daily basis. In these moments, it is best to turn our trust and our faithfulness towards God. In the book Not Part of the Plan, authors Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal each tell their personal stories of unexpected life events: Kristen’s struggle with infertility and Bethany’s struggle with singleness. While both of those situations are definitely difficult, Kristen and Bethany knew that they did not have to face those struggles alone. This book not only focuses on their experiences, but also gives practical advice on how you can rely on God in even the most difficult of times. In each chapter, the authors give discussion questions to ponder, scripture to dive deeper, activities that allow you to reflect, and prayers to give to God. This book is well written, personal, and overall just a beautiful reminder that we don’t need to worry. Always trust God with the twists and turns of your story.

[Krista Bonesteel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated the way that Kristen and Bethany shared openly and honestly about some very vulnerable times in their lives and how they choose to accept the path that God had laid out for them. Every person has experienced disappointing times in their lives and they have done a wonderful job of addressing the thoughts and emotions we have during those times. Pretty sure you could have found me bawling at some point in most of the chapters, not because I had experienced those same situations, but because of the work that was being done in my heart. If you have ever been at a low point in your life and didn’t understand why things went that way, you need to read this book. The stories, scripture, and advise it holds will serve as an encouragement and reminder that whatever season you are in, God is always faithful.
*I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed “Not Part Of The Plan”, mostly because it was comforting, and because it came at a time in my life where I needed God’s help with dealing with a loss. Even for a heartfelt book, that was sad at times, there was also humor in it and I liked it. Bethany and Kristen were really open in this one. It was nice to get to know them more and get a deeper look into stories they’ve shared in the past, like Kristen’s 3 miscarriages. I needed that. Aside from journaling prompts, there are also pictures at the end of each chapter that look like they would be fun to color.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book by Kristen and Bethany (Girl Defined Ministries) was exactly what I needed in this stage of life! So many times we set expectations for ourselves in a timeline that God didn’t have planned for us. This is often influenced by society, the media, and what our peers are going through. Kristen and Bethany get real and raw with their experiences when things in their lives weren’t going as planned. I could see myself/my situation reflected throughout the book in a way that helped me realize I’m not alone in this, and God still has an amazing plan for my life.