Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Mature Women

by Jean Shinoda Bolen

“Skip the midlife crisis and embrace the joys of aging with this “lighthearted manual on how to become a juicy and wise old woman”. — Isabelle Allende , recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. #1 Bestseller in Adulthood & Aging and Mysticism In  Crones Don't Whine , embrace the power of the crone years and unlock personal growth as you age gracefully. In other works like  Goddesses in Everywoman  and  Goddesses in Older Women , bestselling author Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D., inspired a generation of women to realize their potential and value. Hundreds of thousands of copies later, she still has a profound effect on the lives of women. Discover the transformative power of embracing your crone years.  Celebrated by renowned figures like Isabel Allende, Gloria Steinem, and Alice Walker, acclaimed author Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. presents thirteen essential qualities to nurture personal growth during what could be your most empowering stage of life. Embrace the wisdom and vitality that await you and celebrate the divine feminine within. Forget about getting old and start embracing the beauty of aging gracefully.  Through thirteen lighthearted yet thought-provoking essays and practical exercises, Dr. Bolen invites you to listen to your inner wisdom, reinvent yourself, and savor the goodness life has to offer. Join the ranks of wise women who have embraced their crone years and realized their true potential. Your journey towards personal growth and self-discovery begins here. Inside, you'll If you’re a fan of Dr. Bolen, or have liked books like  Women Rowing North ,  Wild Mercy , or  Goddesses Never Age , order a copy of  Crones Don’t Whine !

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Psychology, Self Help, Womens, Feminism, Aging

149 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2003

About the author

Jean Shinoda Bolen, M. D. is a psychiatrist, Jungian analyst, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco, a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and recipient of the Institute for Health and Healing’s "Pioneers in Art, Science, and the Soul of Healing Award". She is a former board member of the Ms. Foundation for Women.

Reviews

[Tami]

It was a time of great changes. Within a year, there was a mass deluge from the family nest, my first grandchild arrived, my husband had a heart attack, my career focus changed, and early indicators of menopause reminded me that the biggest changes were about to occur. I was leaving behind motherhood, making family meals, and picking up abandoned dirty dishes. I was moving on to a new phase of my life.

For me, the word crone has always brought up images of a wise elder. A crone as I see her is a woman of confidence with a heart large enough to take on more than just her immediate family. She is the kind of person who’ll be completely honest with you when you need it most or make you laugh yourself silly when you’re down. In the last year, as my life changed, I actually felt privileged that the universe saw enough wisdom in me to allow me the privilege of becoming such a woman.

I’m glad I came across Crones Don’t Whine. This book celebrates crones. It reminds women that aging isn’t something to fear. As we get older, we tend to let go of all that extraneous crap and really start to enjoy being ourselves.

[Cynda Reads]

I first read this book just as I was just admitting that I was leaving behind middle age and approaching menopause. So technically I was not yet a crone. I so am now. Hecatate of the Crossroads show me the Way.

The technicalities remain the same: Veer off the Spiritual Path too far, you land in the field of one character defect. She encourages the juicy-crone reader to stay on the Path by highlighting the Path.

Bolen is one of the most beautiful soul-expanded women I (kinda sorta) have met. She writes In the traditions of the
Buddhist
Taoist
Pagan
Jungian
Feminist
(I may come back to add to the list)

My Self-Assessment: I progress. I become one with the Waning Moon.

[Karen]

I expected to love this book as I’ve loved all of the other Jean Shinoda Bolen books I’ve read. But this one disappointed me. It is very, very lightweight. It can be read in an hour and says absolutely nothing new to anyone who has even a nodding acquaintance with goals of self-development in life’s third act. Read the 13 qualities in the table of contents and you’ll have what you need. Save your money.

[Michelle]

there are some very good ideas in this book in terms of cultivating a good attitude about aging. the author eventual devolves into male-bashing though which is what looses points in my opinion. women can be strong, proactive, positive and vital without resorting to taking shots at men.

[Barbara]

This book has been a guidebook to how and who I want to be in the 3rd stage of my life as a Crone (age 56 and older). I've read it in 2004,5,6,8,18 with new insights into my own choices each time along with finding it quite interesting to read my comments made at places in previous years. Looking at where I am at 70 is both similar and different than late 50s and at 60. At 70, I find myself more fully embracing and exhibiting the 13 cone qualities Jean puts forth. These have been a wise guide to being. I have given this book as a gift to many women friends as they reached their crone age of 56.

[Angela McCormick]

More of a long essay than a useful book

I was disappointed. There just isn't any depth in this book. I had hoped for guidance and suggestions and perhaps personal stories to use for my personal growth. I am glad I only paid ninety-nine cents for it.

[GabyUfita]

Las reflexiones sobre la edad y la mujer "anciana" me ha gustado mucho. Me ha ayudado a imaginarme a esas edades y me dio alegría.

[Wren]

Bolen writes a gentle book that invites mature women to embrace power, joy and compassion in the second half of life. She has a New Age feel, but it's not off putting for those who don't get their inspiration from archetypes of goddesses.

Each chapter is short, averaging 5 pages in a small book with large font. They are perfect for setting an intention before meditating or attending a yoga class. Or a chapter can serve as a writing prompt for writing in a journal.

A lot of her observations are common sense, but it's very easy to play the victim, get stuck in a rut, and isolate oneself from others. Her words can serve as a reminder to what we already know intuitively but forget all too easily.

From the introduction:

"To be a crone is about inner development, not outer appearance. A crone is a woman who has wisdom, compassion, humor, courage, and vitality. She has a sense of truly being herself, can express what she knows and feels, and take action when need be" (p. 4).

From the chapter about making choices:

"If you find yourself at ... a crossroad, may you know which path has heart and have the courage to take it" (p. 52).

From the chapter about improvising:

"Flexibility, resourcefulness, good health, friends, the ability to learn and keep on growing, being needed or doing service, having absorbing interests, and the ability to enjoy your own company are qualities and possibilities that make improvising a good life possible" (p. 71).

Here is the Table of Contents:

Introduction: A New Perspective on the "Crone" Word

The Thirteen Qualities:
1. Crones Don't Whine
2. Crones Are Juicy
3. Crones Have Green Thumbs
4. Crones Trust What They Know in Their Bones
5. Crones Meditate in Their Fashion
6. Crones Are Fierce about What Matter to Them
7. Cones Choose the Path with Heart
8. Crones Speak the Truth with Compassion
9. Crones Listen to Their Bodies
10. Crones Improvise
11. Crones Laugh Together
12. Crones Savor the Good in Their Lives

Possibilities and Thoughts: 1. Exceptional Men Can Be Crones 2. Crones Together Can Change the World. 3. Musings

[Maria Diz]

Un libro sobre brujas! tienes mi atención. Que es sobre cómo llevar la post menopausia? suena interesante.
Empezamos mal. El audiolibro es una voz femenina JOVEN. Hubiera ganado mucho con una voz madura. Pero esto no es culpa del libro en sí.
La traducción al castellano es malísima. Cosas como definir a las mujeres mayores de 50 años como ancianas.
Esto no es responsabilidad del libro original en sí.
Pero llenar el libro de tópicos machistas dañinos, soltar símiles promoviendo el maltrato animal, etc etc esto SÍ es responsabilidad del libro original.
Si pudiera entrar en mi cerebro y borrar todo recuerdo de este libro, lo haría.

[Marina]

Aunque es un libro dirigido a mujeres de más de 50 años, creo que es fácil interiorizar su sabiduría aún si no se ha llegado a esa etapa de vida. Es como un manual de consejos de una abuela sabia que nutre al arquetipo interior de mujer sabia.

[Elizabeth]

3.5
Las mejores cualidades de una mujer sabia:
No se quejan
No imploran
Escuchan su cuerpo
Meditan
Son atrevidas

[Socorro]

Un libro muy pequeño pero lleno de contenido muy valioso. Lo disfrute mucho!

[Laura]

Un compendio de Sabiduría Ancestral. Lleno de reflexiones, consejos y hechos interesantes. Sumamente recomendable no solo para mujeres de la tercera edad si no para todo público.

[Sylvia]

Que buen libro, lo recomiendo mucho.

[Maribel, Entre mar y libros]

Hace tiempo me recomendaron éste libro, en un proceso complicado para mí y parón lector , es breve pero no podía conectar con el , me angustie mucho por un problema familiar y no veía más allá, y lo aparqué.
Es cierto que después de 7 años y hoy más serena habiendo pasado esa prenopausia en la q no sabía si había empezado de forma natural o por culpa de ese shock familiar y estres que sufrí.
Sobrepasado ese problema desde mi mas encarnizado análisis de que no debes culparte por gente que no te entiende, ni parece quererte , y sólo miran por si mismos .
Aprendí a salir del agujerito en el q caí de pena, desilusión , y baja autoestima día a día y sí , la meditación ayudo , caminar, llorar, leer comedia - gracias Safier 😉, y Elvira Lindo- comer sano , y relajarme mucho de forma natural, escribir sobre ello , etc...
Hoy vuelvo a leerlo y bueno , yo soy muy amiga de la meditación, pasear oyendo buena música o libros, y todo lo que sea bueno para mejorarnos desde dentro y fuera con las armas q tengamos, pero tampoco es una obra que te cambie la vida. Pero como consejo a entrar en la menopausia y como enfrentar a esa mujer nueva madura camino de la anciana, bien. Pero recomiendo leer más sobre yoga, meditación y terapia natural por y para la premenopausia y menopausia...
Yo se supone q llevo 7 años ya , y si tú carácter a veces es como un dragón , en todos los sentidos , tienes menos paciencia, eres menos encantadora, más impaciente, y el terrible calor te invade y no , no tendrán paciencia contigo porque no te entienden ..
Así que no hace falta ser muy zen , sino intentar relajarte, rebajar calorías y cafeína, y por otras estarás cansada ahí si puedes meter cafeína y teína 😉.

Camina, come sano, baila si es lo tuyo, pinta, lee, escribe ... haz lo q te anime e intenta no comerte a tu pareja, hijo u madre o hermana ...
Poco a poco serás otra y deberás aprender de nuevo a lidiar contigo , ya no hay regla , algo bueno , pero controla el peso... No queda otra .
Saludos y bueno , como anticipo a los cambios bien , pero es algo light.

[Kathleen Rodgers]

What is a “crone?” you might ask. If you're like me, you might've grown up thinking a crone is a sinister old woman to be feared. Well, banish that derogatory notion that's been used to control others for centuries.

I love the author’s definition on page 8:

“A crone is a woman who has wisdom, compassion, humor, courage, and vitality.”
I received this wonderful little book as a Christmas gift. Once I started reading, I felt a calmness come over me as I paused now and then to reflect on my own journey from maiden to mother to grandmother.

After reading this book, I aspire to embrace all the best qualities of being a crone, and it doesn’t include whining.

[Dottie]

Read this a second time on the train March 9th. Pencil in hand the second time around. Still arather "meh" response however. There are bits well worth having read and a couple of spottieds well into other reading I've been doing of late but I'm not in the right place for this one at the moment perhaps or others held more for me. It's small and pithy so give it a shot if it sound at lall right for you.

[Sharon Gausch]

I'm fascinated by explorations of the maiden/mother/crone archetypes, so I expected to really enjoy this book. Viewing the third stage of life as the gift that it is, appreciating the wisdom, joy, and peace that can be embodied, is a perspective I appreciate. Sadly, this book was disappointing, completely superficial--if you read the table of contents, you will know literally everything in this book. The chapters read like summaries, there's nothing in-depth here at all.

[Laura]

This was a Mother's Day gift from my daughter Victoria. I LOVE it.
Ms. Bolen lists thirteen qualities a crone should strive for, including non-whining and juiciness. I'm trying to acquire the qualities.

[Carol]

Very disappointing, I don't think that she said much of anything.

[Eileen]

Short, pithy and affirming. each phase of life has its worth and value. embrace it.

[Linda]

For women of a certain age this is a manual of self-help and redemption. It recommends finding ways to be happy and then doing so. All with a zen-like wisdom and understanding.

[Beth Whitney]

All is want to say is: ugh.

[elstaffe]

Pull quotes/notes
"Women's intuition has been much maligned. It's a wisdom having to do with living things, plants, animals, people, illness, birth, and death. It's also a receptivity to energy and other invisible realms. An ordinary woman attending to a dying person draws upon crone wisdom when she instinctively or intuitively knows what to do.
This parallels how many new mothers are maternally wise, something common enough to be unremarkable until a young mother refuses to follow the advice of an authority, sensing in her heart and mind that this would be wrong for her particular child." (31) ah, gender

"Inner life was meant to grow in importance as we grow older." (38) meant by who?

"Equality as a principle, reproductive choice, the availability of opportunities and sup-
port to become an authentic and whole person cannot be taken for granted," (79) WELP

"The power to resist the collective comes from being in a small circle with like-minded others. It allows us to keep on in the face of ridicule or opposition that we don't know what we are talking about, or don't belong wherever it is that we want to be." (103) unfortunately this is true whether or not the circle of like minded others is full of love or hate

"As spiritual beings on a human path, what we do at a soul level in the third phase will likely turn out to be the most important." (112) even granted that "third phase" refers to the third age phase of life in the maiden/mother/crone framework, this reads like some Teal Swan level nonsense

[Albert Oh!]

Breve librito que se lee de un tirón (lo leí en un solo día)
Una visión sobre la madurez y la sabiduría que esta a veces conlleva, así como de la vida misma, explicado sin teoría pero con algunos brevísimos y acertados ejemplos

Aunque dirigido a las mujeres maduras (lo de brujas es un juego), a partir de los cincuenta y tantos años, también los hombres en esa franja de edad podemos leerlo con provecho

Se agradece un punto de vista tan directo, a contracorriente de lo que es más habitual; anteponer el valor de los conocimientos sobre la sabiduría o la intuición, o la acción para el control del mundo material sobre una acción más blanda, mediada por la conciencia y compasión; finalmente, de los valores de la enérgica juventud sobre los de la más sabia y reflexiva ancianidad - madurez

Curiosamente, a pesar de su brevedad, es difícil resumir o extraer la esencia del libro, pero diría que nos recuerda el valor de la experiencia vital cuando hemos sabido escuchar nuestro interior y hemos intentado actuar en consecuencia, aprender de los errores, etc.

Llegar a viejo, anciano, puede que no esté tan mal desde el punto de vista personal, si se ha conservado energía y salud. Aunque a la super-élite no le interese en absoluto (ver reseña del Informe Lugano - II )

[Bev Siddons]

What's a crone, you ask? A crone has nothing to do with being witchy. A crone is an older woman who has come to really know herself, one who has wisdom to share and a wicked (in a good way) sense of humor. She has courage and ample energy. She shows compassion.

"The belly laughter of women together is something that usually happens in the absence of men. It's a spontaneous potluck of sharing that often arises in the midst of talk that is very real and true. . . stories of embarrassing 'could have been me' moments . . . It's never the same retold, it's a 'you had to be there' laughter."

"Women bond with each other and reduce stress through conversation, which gives us an advantage in peace talks. . . .Maternal wise-women must become involved in peace processes in sufficient numbers to change the pattern."

Crones Don't Whine is full of wisdom, wit, and plain ol' common sense. It's a gift from Jean Shinoda Bolen that should be read by every woman regardless of age but especially by "mature" women over 50 or 60.

[Stella]

Short and sweet but not very deep. Thirteen rules or qualities to cultivate for becoming a juicy crone. Seems a bit sexist at times...women have flight or fight responses, too, not just tend and befriend...and while she lists some exceptional men who can be crones like Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and Jimmy Carter, she makes it sound like such a rarity...and maybe it was for her generation, but I'd like to think not so much for the ones that follow. Though we certainly need to do our part to make the world a better place, I hope it isn't all up to women with just a couple of men along. Definitely makes me think I don't have an adequate circle of female friends who build each other up instead of griping and tearing down. I'd like to cultivate the qualities she mentions as I age, but I'd need more than this book to do it. Worth meditating on for awhile if you are approaching menopause.

[Duda]

Po predchádzajúcej knihe od Jean Shinody Bolen som sa tak tešila na túto knižku...ALE...prišla útla brožúrka, ktorú prečítate za pár hodín...obsahuje 13 princípov ako dorásť na múdru a zrelú ženu...to že je celoživotné ženy umenie skondenzované na pár stranách, chápem ešte ako fakt, že ide o, pre väčšinu žien, prirodzený intuitívny proces, a nejde teda o žiadnu vedu.....tak ako čerstvá matka zrazu získa schopnosť vedieť, čo je najlepšie pre jej dieťa, tak aj dozrievajúca žena často sama pochopí, čo potrebuje, aby svoje kruhy uzatvárala a bola v harmónii....ja som knihu pochopila, aj sa stotožňujem s princípmi...ale žiadne nadšenie ani radosť z čítania na mňa neprešli...je tam pár zaujímavých postrehov a myšlienok, ale to mi príde málo...naopak, v mnohých častiach sa mi čítanie zdalo triviálne až banálne...z autorského hľadiska mi to neprišlo nejak majstrovsky napísané, čo by možno vyvážilo jednoduchosť obsahu.

[Carlos]

This small book is a celebration of those women, and exceptional men, who, having lived long enough to learn from life, turn the third act of their lives towards the betterment of themselves and their society. Bolen highlights the rare circumstance that allows the entire generations of modern women to live long enough to reach their crone years and do so in enough health to continue making contributions to society. She focuses on the self-possession of those who have learned to own who they are and not seek acceptance or tolerance, but who make use of their hard-earn knowledge. This book is a celebration of reaching the wisdom offered by our mature years and an invitation of those not yet there to work toward the goal of being self-possessed crones.

[Karen Valenzuela]

A mis 36 años ya estoy un poco cansada de escuchar el famoso "Escucha a tu niña interior". Si, encuentro mucho valor a la frase, me ayudo durante muchos años, y si sane muchos traumas y momentos de mi vida que necesitaba sanar. Pero ya estoy en otra etapa, ya estoy con otra mentalidad.
Así que encontrar un libro que dice "escucha a tu anciana interior" y "conviértete en la bruja que debes ser" abrió mi mente a un nuevo mundo. A una nueva visión. A un nuevo camino.
La anciana es sabia y ya sabe quien es y lo que quiere. No le interesa seguir normas impartidas por otros, ni le interesa la opinión de los demás con lo que respecta a su vida. Es segura en sus decisiones y sus limites.
Mi anciana interior se siente escuchada y lista para acompañarme los siguientes años.